FOLKS, MY FIRST GUEST TONIGHT IS AN EMMY NOMINATED ACTOR WHO NOW
VOICES BATMAN IN THE LEGO BATMAN MOVIE.
>> YOU CAN'T SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE ALONE DRESSED IN BLACK
LISTENING TO ANGRY MUSIC AND STAYING UP ALL NIGHT.
>> YES, I CAN.
CUZ I'M BATMAN.
>> DON'T YOU THINK IT'S TIME YOU FINALLY FACE YOUR GREATEST FEAR?
>> SNAKES?
>> NO.
>> CLOWNS.
>> NO.
>> SNAKE CLOWNS.
>> BRUCE, YOUR GREATEST FEAR IS BEING PART OF A FAMILY AGAIN.
>> NOPE, NOW IT'S SNAKE CLOUDS BECAUSE YOU PUT THAT IDEA IN MY
HEAD.
>> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME WILL ARNETT.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) >> LOVELY TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
>> LOVELY TO SEE YOU TOO.
YOU KNOW, THEY SAY A SIGN OF A GENIUS IS A GUY WITHOUT WEARS A
BLUE SUIT.
>> Stephen: YEAH, YES.
>> LOOKS LIKE WE HAVE A COUPLE OF GUYS IF BLUE SUITS.
>> Stephen: SLOWLY DISAPPEARING TOO THAT CHAIR.
>> I KNOW.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE A FLOATING HEAD.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: I'M ALWAYS STRUCK WHEN I SEE YOU THAT YOU ARE MUCH
TALLER THAN I THIS?
RIGHT OVER THERE, I DIDN'T-- USUALLY IF SOMEBODY IS
LIKE-- I KNOW IS CONSIDERABLY TALLER THAN ME, I'VE GOT ENOUGH
OF AN EGO THAT I STAY ON ONE OF THE STEPS AN DON'T GO ALL THE
WAY DOWN TO THE FLOOR.
I MADE THE MISTAKE OF GOING ALL THE WAY UP TO YOU, AND I WAS
GREETING YOUR NECK TIE.
>> I GET THAT A LOT.
PEOPLE SAY YOU'RE MUCH TALLER.
I GUESS IT IS AN COMPLIMENT.
I DON'T KNOW.
BECAUSE I SEEM SHORTER.
>> Stephen: SO, BECAUSE YOU CAN NOT TELL ON TELEVISION.
>> YEAH, THAT'S TRUE.
>> Stephen: IT'S VERY HARD WITH VOICE OVER AKING TO KNOW
HOW TALL THE GUY IS.
>> THAT'S TRUE.
>> Stephen: NOW VERY EXCITED ABOUT THE LEGO BATMAN MOVIE.
I LOVE THE LEGO MOVIE.
AND OBVIOUSLY BATMAN BREAKOUT STAR.
>> WELL, YOU KNOW.
>> Stephen: THEY DON'T MAKE A MOVIE IF IT'S NOT THE BREAKOUT
STAR, LEGO BATMAN.
>> I SUPPOSE, I SUPPOSE.
IT WAS AN EXPERIMENT ON THEIR PART.
>> Stephen: THAT'S A COMPLIMENT.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: THAT'S A COMPLIMENT.
>> I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH COMPLIMENT.
>> Stephen: NO?
JUST SAY THANK YOU.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: YOU DISN DO THAT VERY WELL.
NOW BRUCE WAYNE, BATMAN.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: IS HE BRUISE BRUCE WAYNE IN THE LEGO BATMAN TOO?
>> YEAH, YEAH.
>> Stephen: BRUCE WAYNE, NOT ALL THAT MENTALLY WELL,
BILLIONAIRE WHO PUTS HIS NAME ON A LOT OF THINGS AND LIVES IN A
BIG HOUSE.
THINKS HE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN SAVE THE WORLD.
>> WHERE IS -- HE WEARS A BATH ROBE A LOT.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
OPEN IN THE FRONT.
>> YOU SAW THE CLIP.
>> Stephen: YEAH DOES IT REMIND YOU OF ANYBODY.
>> DOES IT REMIND ME OF ANYBODY?
JUST OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD, NO.
>> Stephen: LAST TIME WE WERE TOGETHER, I DONE KNOW, NINE
MONTHS OR SOMETHING LIKE, THAT WAS BEFORE THE ELECTION AND WE
WERE ON THE SHOW, WE WERE TOYING WITH THE IDEA THAT MAYBE YOU AND
I RUN FOR PRESIDENT.
>> SURE.
>> Stephen: AT SOME POINT.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE).
>> Stephen: WE DECIDED AGAINST IT.
>> WE DID DECIDE AGAINST IT BECAUSE AT THE TIME WE DIDN'T
REALIZE HOW LOW THE THRESHHOLD WAS.
>> Stephen: AND YOU AND I KNOW THAT WE'RE COMPLETELY
UNQUALIFIED FOR THE JOB.
>> ABSOLUTELY.
THAT WOULD BE OUR PLATFORM, RIGHT.
WE ARE BEYOND UNQUALIFIED.
>> Stephen: THIS IS A HUGE MISTAKE, 2016.
>> SURE.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
WHO DO YOU THINK-- WITHOUT DO YOU THINK PRESIDENT, WITHOUT DO
YOU THINK VICE PRESIDENT.
I WOULD LIKE TO BE THE PRESIDENT, BUT AGAIN, YOU'RE
TALLER.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: AND THAT TENDS TO GO TO THE PRESIDENT.
>> I JUST THINK FOR PEOPLE'S SECURITY, LIKE FEELING SECURE,
THE TALL GUY SHOULD BE.
BUT IT'S JUST-- IT'S AN ILLUSION, IF YOU WILL.
>> Stephen: RIGHT?
I COULD GET SOME LIFTS.
>> THAT'S FINE.
I WANT TO YOU SAY, WE'RE AROUND THE SAME AGE.
YOU MIGHT-- .
>> Stephen: I WANT TO SAY THAT TOO.
>> I KNOW.
>> Stephen: I REALLY-- I REALLY WANT TO SAY THAT.
HOW OLD ARE YOU?
>> I'M A 46 YEAR OLD MAN.
>> Stephen: WE'RE AROUND THE SAME AGE.
>> YOU SEE.
>> Stephen: YEAH, YEAH, IS WHAT I WOULD LIKE TO SAY.
>> I LIKE TO SAY THAT I'M CLOSER TO 30 THAN I AM A HUNDRED.
CUZ THAT'S A FACT.
>> Stephen: I AM TOO.
>> THERE YOU GO.
I HAD TO DO A LITTLE MATH THERE.
NOW YOU, ARE YOU TOTALLY READY TO GET POLITICALLY INVOLVED
HERE.
HERE YOU ARE, YOU WERE IN LONDON WHY WERE YOU IN LONDON.
>> I WAS SHOOTING A FILM IN THE BEAUTIFUL COUNTRY OF WALES FOR A
COUPLE OF MOPTS.
>> Stephen: WHAT WAS THE MOVIE.
>> A FUN FAMILY MOVIE COMING OUT NEXT YEAR.
>> Stephen: YOU CAN'T SAY WHAT IT IS.
>> I CAN'T REALLY-- IT'S CALLED SHOW DOGS, I'M LYING ABOUT THAT
I CAN'T SAY IT.
SEE AGAIN, I'M QUALIFIED TO BE PRESIDENT.
>> Stephen: YOU WERE AT THE WOMEN'S MARCH IN LONDON, THERE
YOU ARE.
>> YEAH, YEAH.
(APPLAUSE) THAT WAS-- THAT WAS A
REALLY-- THAT WAS A REALLY SPECIAL DAY, THE WOMEN'S MARCH
WAS INCREDIBLE AND I SAID THIS BEFORE, THE GREATEST PART FOR ME
WAS GETTING A TEXT FROM MY MOM AND HER SAYING HOW PROUD SHE WAS
AND THAT MEANT A LOT TO ME.
I HAVE A LOT OF IMPORTANT WOMEN IN MY LIFE INCLUDING MY MOMS AND
MY SISTERS.
MY POSITION IS I WILL BE DAMNED IF THEY WILL BE TREATED LIKE
SECOND CLASS CITIZENS.
SO.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE).
>> Stephen: ARE HAVE YOU MARCHED, YOU HAVE DONE ANY
POLITICAL ACTION, DONE ANY MARCHING IN THE STATES?
>> I HAVE NOT REALLY DONE ANY POLITICAL ACTION-- OR MARCHING,
RATHER, IN THE STATES.
>> Stephen: I WAS WONDERING IF THERE WAS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
HERE OR THERE.
>> WHAT WAS GREAT BEING THERE WAS, LET'S BRING IT DOWN FOR A
MINUTE.
WHAT WAS GREAT BEING THERE WAS WHEN YOU REALIZED THE IMPACT
THAT THIS COUNTRY HAS ON A GLOBAL SCALE.
AND HOW MUCH WHAT WE DO IN OUR POLICIES, ET CETERA, HAVE OVER
THERE AND REALLY TOUCH THE LIVES OF PEOPLE EVERYWHERE.
>> Stephen: CUZ WE TEND TO THINK OF OTHER FOREIGN
GOVERNMENTS OF THAT'S CUTE, YOU HAVE YOUR OWN GOVERNMENT, THAT'S
REALLY GREAT.
WE-- THE FREE WORLD AND I'M GLAD YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO KEEP YOU
BUSY.
>> YEAH, EXACTLY, YEAH.
BUT NO, IT WAS REALLY INTERESTING BEING THERE.
EVERYBODY IS VERY POLITE AM.
I WILL SAY THAT.
>> Stephen: VERY POLITE MARCH.
>> A VERY POLITE MARCH.
BUT VERY LOUD.
>> Stephen: LIKE THE HEY HEY HO HO, HELLO GUF, HELLO GUF.
>> THEY WERE VERY INTO IT, I WILL SAY THAT.
IT WAS AN INCREDIBLE EXPERIENCE.
IT REALLY WAS IT WAS A LIFE CHANGING EXPERIENCE.
BUT AT THE SAME TIME, PEOPLE ARE LIKE SORRY, SORRY.
THEY'RE JUST VERY, THEY'RE JUST A VERY-- THEY PUT A LOT OF VALUE
ON-- ON BEING CIVIL WITH ONE ANOTHER.
AND I THINK THAT THAT IS SOMETHING WE COULD PROBABLY
LEARN FROM THAT.
>> Stephen: THAT WOULD BE LOVELY.
WELL, JUST TO BE CIVIL, I HOPE YOU WILL PARDON US WHILE WE TAKE
A SHORT COMMERCIAL BREAK.
>> I DON'T MIND AT ALL, STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE WILL ARNETT.
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