[Announcer:] Welcome to The Painting Experience podcast for June 2015. On the podcast
founder Stewart Cubley explores the potential of the emerging field of
process arts and shares inspiration from his ongoing workshops and retreats.
This time Stewart talks about why we're encouraged
not to cover things up in our process paintings, about finding the satisfaction
that comes from accepting what shows up in a painting and following it through to the end.
[Stewart:] In the last podcast, I spoke about not commenting on each other's
paintings in the painting workshops. And today I'd like to talk about not
covering, not changing, not turning a painting -- and at first blush this may
feel like, gosh there's a lot of "nots" here, what are all these "nots," not do
this, not do that, and what does that have to do with creative freedom and painting
for process. But actually it's the other way around -- these "nots" are actually big
"yeses" And they're yeses to the process of painting, the serendipity of painting,
the unexpected nature of painting. So let me explain a little bit:
What is covering, actually?
This often occurs at a certain point in the painting, you're painting
along and some area of the painting is disturbing you a little bit and you feel
like, you know, I don't want that, there's something not right about that. So our
first impulse of course is to cover it up, change it, get rid of it, obliterate it,
redo it, do something that that's going to make it better. And this is very
natural of course but if we look a little deeper we realize that there's
another way to respond here. It's very natural to want to make the
painting look better, that's our first response and of course this comes out of
the more habitual way of approaching painting and art which is more of a fine
arts perspective, it's more of a product oriented perspective, and of course we
want a nice painting. We want it to look good. We want it to please us, we want it
to somehow fulfill our intention. And so it feels very natural when it's not
going in that direction to cover something up and redo it. But from the
perspective of process arts which is a very different intention which is using
the tools of painting not for product but for self exploration, for
self-reflection and for insight. Then we need a different approach because that
which appears and perhaps does not please us and perhaps does feel out of
place and disturbs us to some degree has shown up. After all, we painted it. Where
did it come from? It's not something extraneous that's imposed itself in our
world. I mean, we did it. We painted it. So the real question is do we respect that?
Do we meet that? Do we get intrigued by the fact that that's appeared and learn
to read that disturbance in a different type of way. In a way in which we don't
cover to get rid of it and in a way in which we don't alter it or obliterate it
but that we use it and that we look under the surface a little bit and
realize that that disturbing feeling that's coming up about that area of the
painting is actually a call. And there's a way of working with it that will enter
that rather than cover that or obliterate that.
Now, this is really not so easy to bring into practice because we want a nice painting. I mean that's
kind of the ego stance, right? And it goes quite deep because a
nice painting means a nice painter. We identify with the product that we're
creating and to have something that we don't like challenges the very sense
of ourselves on some level and so this is not small change we're dealing with.
But there is an opportunity to relate to this in a different way
and when someone comes to that point where their impulse would be to cover
something up -- or they'll often start doing it and I'll observe them doing it.
There will be an appropriate time in which I'll approach them about that and
I must say, I often don't do this in the beginning of a workshop because I don't
want to alienate that person I mean I have to develop a relationship. There has
to be some trust, there has to be some water under the bridge, the person has to
feel like they're not being judged and they're not being coerced or manipulated,
that there's a deep trust in their own internal investigation. And if that's
established then the person is more open to hear what I might have to say about
covering and not take it as though there's something wrong but for that
person to feel like we're on the same side. And so I might approach that person
at that point and question the feelings that are going on underneath the desire
to cover and the action of covering. And usually, as I say, there is some sort of
judgment going on and there's some sort of disturbance and we haven't really
been educated how to relate to that so our first impulse is get rid of, don't
like, cover it up, change the color, redo the image, whatever form it takes.
Or sometimes just take that painting off the wall. But if we don't cover, if and in
fact we have a stance in which we accept whatever arises
and we deem as sacred what shows up and the very fact that we painted it and it
came out of the tip of our brush takes more weight than any kind of aesthetic
judgment that we would have about it. And so we begin to develop a different kind
of relationship in which we are no longer so much in control. Because the
desire to cover and to change and to maybe reorient the painting and turn the
painting to a different orientation are all ways in which we're trying to
control the outcome, we're trying to fulfill a certain intention that may be
more or less clear to us but we are trying to fulfill some internal idea.
And therefore we're more in control of the situation we're trying to make it fit
our idea. Whereas if we don't do that we metaphorically paint ourselves into a
corner because it means then that whatever shows up we have to stick with
and whatever shows up is not something we can get rid of but we have to work
with and it doesn't mean we have to stop painting -- sometimes people think well if
I have to not cover anything I painted then I can't paint once I get paint on
the paper, but, no, that's not the case. There's a way of adding to what's there
which is very different than changing. For example sometimes people say you
know, this whole area here that I painted in orange it shouldn't be orange
I was actually kind of asleep when I painted the orange I was just not
present and therefore I'm gonna change it to blue.
We have all sorts of great
justifications for why we wanted to have it our way and sometimes people will say
that to me. And so they'll change the whole area to blue and, of course, that's
covering. That orange that was there is now gone. There is a different way to
relate to that, that if that orange was disturbing you and therefore calling you,
you could have blue dots in the orange, you could have blue flames coming out of
the orange, you could have a blue baby in the middle of the orange -- who knows
what -- there could be something that would be a way of respecting the orange and
yet moving forward in the painting not getting rid of -- adding vs. covering.
And this creates a very different relationship to the creative process
because we then begin to respect the serendipity. We then begin to be
intrigued by that which arises spontaneously, that which comes unbidden
that's not a function of the product- oriented ego,
that's not our control
making happen. We begin to develop a different relationship to that part of
the psyche which underlies our lives in a very, very profound way and of course
is there outside of the painting process as well. And the painting process becomes
a way of tapping into that, of acknowledging that, of moving with that
and allowing that to penetrate us more deeply because it's without conflict.
The need to change a painting to make it fit our idea and to to meet our preference
is conflict laden, it turns us in knots and once we cover once it's not good
enough then: we have to cover it again or we have to redo the image six times, we
cover that nose 18 million times and it's still not good enough and finally
say to hell with it. It just leads down a road of increased conflict and so
there's something challenging but incredibly natural and conflict-free and
once we begin to be intrigued by the serendipity and to respect the
serendipity and to go with it. And then the painting becomes a truly unknown
journey in which we are no longer trying to make it to fit our specifications but
we're open to the flow that is coming out of us and there's an intelligence in
this flow that we then have the ability to start perceiving. Once we stop
controlling we can then begin to sense, wow, there's more going on here than I
realized. And these so called spontaneous images
are not random at all. They're not rational;
they don't fit any kind of rationality and and, very often, any kind of story
that I try to tell about them to connect the dots in the painting seems only half
satisfying because it's rather made-up. But there's an intelligence in it which
I can sense through the experience of it, I can sense through the unfolding of it,
and I can sense by the fact that it brings me insight into my life in ways
that could never have happened if I had just gone with a story of the painting
or the aesthetic of the painting. These doors will open up for us once we are
willing to give up control and willing to have a profound respect for that
which shows up and so this is why the so-called "rules" -- not covering and not
changing and and not reorienting your painting -- are really big yeses. They're
ways of saying yes to that part of ourselves that we're trying to develop
the respect for and by reorienting, which I haven't spoken of so much, I mean
sometimes there's an urge to turn the painting in a different orientation . . . here
you've started something and it's gone along to a certain degree and then I see
somebody take the painting off the wall and turn it 90 degrees or 180 degrees
and usually when that happens it's interesting to explore what's going on
there, usually the person has reached a stopping point of some sort; they're a
little bored perhaps, they don't see where to go next,
they don't have an inspiration for moving on and there's the thought that
well if I change the orientation I'll see it in a different perspective
and then I'll be able to go forward. And again this is partially true if you do
change the orientation of the painting of course you will have a different
perspective; it's kind of fun to see it differently but something is
lost in that, there's something about standing in the integrity of the way
things show up including the orientation. There's something about being willing to
stand in the not knowing of what to do next and let that come from a deeper
place in oneself other than a trick of turning the painting and doing something
externally, having it come from a place internally. And so these are ways in
which you can learn to fulfill the purpose and, I would say, the promise of
process painting. Which is deep respect, honoring the way things arise, following
things to the end as they arise, continuing to work with them and listen
to them and not imposing on the painting that it has to meet some criterion that
you've decided upon. In doing this, you really shift internally to a different
part of yourself. Sometimes I say it's getting out of your own way.
It's allowing a deeper stream to be the one that's guiding the process and this
is incredibly satisfying. We get a certain satisfaction, of course, from
getting a painting that we like, we also get a certain satisfaction from covering
up stuff that we don't like and getting rid of it and these are very short-term
satisfactions; they're also very shaky satisfactions because you may paint a
painting that you like after having really worked hard on it to get it like
you want it and then somebody can come along and make a comment on it and you
can feel devastated and your whole perception of the painting changes:
you're not sure you like it anymore. Those satisfactions are quite shaky,
whereas when you learn the deeper satisfaction of accepting what shows up
and going with it, you're standing on a very solid ground. You're not so
vulnerable to what other people think about it, you've already been willing to
go beyond what you think about it and so what other people think about it is
really not so important after all. There's a deeper ground in which you
touch and a deeper ground in which you stand. This is really the purpose of process painting.
[Announcer:] You can learn more about The Painting Experience and find a
list of upcoming process painting workshops
by visiting our website at www.processarts.com.
If you enjoyed what you heard today please share it with a friend. The theme music
for this podcast comes from Stephan Jacob. We thank you for listening and
hope you'll join us again soon.
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