• From forming a schoolyard gang to being a little too into Sonic, the Planet Dolan
crew re-enact some of the best true stories from our subreddit about our cringiest school
memories. I'm Pringle and today I'll be your narrator.
Number 10 was submitted by dangermouse_dolan SpinalPalm
In high school SpinalPalm was in a class that was full of girls. One day they had to give
a speech but the only other guy in the class was away. SpinalPalm was nervous, but he got
up in front of his class full of girls and began his presentation.
About three minutes in one of the girls decided it was appropriate time to interrupt the nervous
SpinalPalm and call out, "Hey, your zipper is down!" SpinalPalm looked down and zipped
it up as quick as he could. But it was too late: the whole class was already giggling
at him. He had to suck it up and finish his presentation but by that point he was so shaken
up that his voice and body were trembling… Looking back on that memory, he wishes he
could punch his former self!
Number 9 was submitted by Dave_the_Skeleton09 Cidius
Cidius's cringiest school memory happened on the last day of the school year. The whole
school was in the auditorium listening to boring speeches when suddenly the entire fifth
grade came on stage to give a surprise hip hop performance.
Cidius's jaw dropped as a tidal wave of cringe swept over him. The fifth-graders were
performing the Flo Rida song 'My House', except they'd rewritten the lyrics to be
about school life. They called it… 'My School'. There was bad rapping and cheesy
choreographed dancing. It was like an awkward, beautiful car crash. Cidius had never face-palmed
so hard in his whole life.
Number 8 was submitted by SmolToxin Melissa When Melissa was in middle school her school
made a very embarrassing attempt to appeal to its students. It was like one day the teachers
said: 'Hey! I hear kids today are really into Emojis! We should throw lots of Emoji
crap at them!' What followed was the most embarrassing fundraiser
Melissa has ever seen… The school went Emoji crazy, displaying Emojie artwork, giving Emoji
charms and pillows for good behaviour and changing fries in the school cafeteria into
Emoji fries. The aim of the fundraiser was to get kids to follow the school's Snapchat
account but the whole thing was so cringey it almost turned the students off social media
forever…
Number 7 was submitted by TurtleMode004 Hellbent Hellbent's cringiest school memory was that
time he and four of his friends formed a gang. They called themselves the Tactical Toasters™
and would patrol the school grounds wearing bandanas over their faces. They made some
cringey homemade badges and would hang around the playground giving other kids a hard time.
Looking back, Hellbent realises he was just a cringey asshole…
Number 6 was submitted by taverdoo Nixxiom Nixxiom's cringiest school memory happened
when he was in grade six. He had this huge crush on a girl in his class, but had no game
whatsoever. Every time she looked in his direction, Nixxiom would turn his head away really obviously
and refuse to make eye contact. It was so bad that sometimes he'd stare at a wall
while walking down a corridor just to avoid looking at her!
Obviously Nixxiom's crush noticed his and one day she straight out asked him: "Why
do you never look at me?" Nixxiom was trying so hard to be cool that he shrugged his shoulders
and said, "Uh… I dunno, babe. Because I'm bored." The girl took this as a sign
he didn't like her and basically never talked to him again. Luckily Nixxiom has gotten a
lot better with the ladies since then…
Number 5 was submitted by Pink-Hearts Spincess When Spincess was in third grade she was too
afraid to go into the girl's bathroom by herself because she thought it was haunted.
One day in the middle of class she really needed to go so she asked the teacher if she
could be excused to use the bathroom. Of course, everyone was in class at that time so the
bathrooms were completely empty. Spincess was terrified of going in alone so she just
walked around the hallway trying to find the courage. In the end she couldn't do it,
so she just walked back to her classroom still busting to pee.
She couldn't ask to go to the bathroom again so she just sat in her chair trying desperately
to hold it in. In the end she peed in her chair and was sent to the principle's office
for a change of pants. Spincess was so embarrassed and cried when the other kids made fun of
her. Looking back, she can't believe she was ever scared of a stupid toilet…
Number 4 was submitted by Bitey_Bat Danger Dolan
In the fifth grade Dolan had a cringey friend who was way into Sonic games. This friend
was OBSESSED with everything Sonic and was always talking about the games and the characters.
It got so bad that when Dolan's class held a talent show, the kid went on stage in a
terrible homemade Sonic costume. His entire 'act' involved running back and forth
across the stage, shouting: "GATTA GO FAST!" At the end he tried to do a flip but ended
up leaping off the stage into the auditorium. He fell straight on his ass and the whole
school laughed at him. After this performance Dolan had to seriously reevaluate this friendship.
It's why he now prefers Mario to Sonic…
Number 3 was submitted by boyfightcookout Grgak
Grgak has never been the most socially graceful person. But looking back one particular memory
from high school makes him cringe. He was on this way to the cafeteria when he passed
a girl from one of his classes. Grgak was in a good mood that day so he decided to pay
her a compliment. He opened his mouth and the words: "You're really pretty for someone
fat!" came spilling out. The poor girl was shocked, and the other students
around them stared at Grgak like he had something wrong with his brain. Grgak immediately put
his hands to his mouth and rushed straight out of the cafeteria. It was not his finest
moment…
Number 2 was submitted by irwin98 Zaraganba In middle school Zaraganba was one of the
first kids in his class to get himself a girlfriend. One day she invited him over after school
to have a bounce on her trampoline. It was going great when she decided to go inside
and get them some drinks. Zaraganba decided to stay outside and keep jumping. He realised
he really needed to fart so he said to himself, "Hey! Why not let one out now while she's
still inside…" Unfortunately when he went to let one rip
the force of his bouncing caused Zaraganba to shit his pants. He could smell it instantly:
it was the unmistakable stench of shit. Zaraganba knew he couldn't face his girlfriend so
he bounced his poo-stained ass off that trampoline and sprinted home. When he thinks back on
that memory his butthole clenches up from sheer force of the cringe…
Number 1 – What's my cringiest school memory?
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