FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY By Susan Jeffers
Audio Produced By CONSEJOS PARA SER FELIZ Dynamic techniques to turn fear,
Indecision and anger in power, action and love
Fear is a sensation that, for the most part, accompanies us all the time. Either because
Be afraid of running out of work or money, either because you fear losing a being
Dear, or simply because you're afraid that a catastrophe will happen in your life.
With the passage of time and as you enter adulthood, you are becoming more aware
Uncertainty around you, and unfortunately you have not been given the best tools to
But rather they have taught you to reject it and fight it through
Of overcontrol and mistrust. Living from this understanding does not favor
The fear disappears and much less that you can live your life, your work, your relationships
From welfare. This book is an excellent first step to
Enter into your own process of personal development, beginning by understanding how it works
Fear and from what other attitude you can interact with everything that happens in your life ..
1. What are you afraid of ... and why? The insecurities you feel when you reflect
About whether you will be able to cope with an uOno situation, can be broken down into three levels
Or layers: • Level 1, is the fear of something "that
Happens "and / or" requiring action ". For example, fear of something that can happen
Could be: fear of catastrophes, loss of economic security, change,
To accidents, etc. As for the fear of something that demands action, it could be: fear
To make decisions, to change professions, to affirm oneself, to speak in
Public, to have relationships, etc. • Underneath that fear, underlying fears
Of level 2: fear of the "integrity of the Self". For example, the fear of rejection,
Success, to failure, to feel deceived, to impotence, to disapproval, to be
Vulnerable, etc. These fears are more related to the inner states of
The mind, and not with the outside (as level 1).
• And finally, under these fears, is true and ultimate fear. He
Rooted fear of "I can not handle or face whatever life comes my way". This fear is
The true and deepest fear we all have, in all situations.
From this you can deduce that, whatever happens if you had confidence that you could face
Whatever happens ... You would not fear ANYTHING!
So, what it is about is to increase your confidence in your ability to face everything
What crosses in your way.
2. Can not you face it? When you want to make a change to better in
Your life, and day after day you give excuses of the type:
- When I'm not so scared, I'll make that call or - I'll do it when I'm no longer afraid
You are actually fooling yourself because:
Truth 1: Fear will never go away as long as I keep growing
Truth 2: The only way to be free from fear of doing something is to do it
Truth 3: The only way to feel better is ... do it
Truth 4: Not only do I feel fear when I walk in unknown terrain, the same thing happens to them
To others Truth 5: Overcoming fear scares less than
Coexist with the subconscious fear that comes from a feeling of impotence.
And is that whenever you venture into "new ground" you will feel fear, no matter how much you have
Cultivated your self-confidence, is something inherent to change and you have to accept, learn
To live with it. Do not wait for the fear to go away, because it will not until you do
What themes. First do, and not only fear will disappear but also your confidence
In yourself it will increase. If you DO NOT face your fears, they will persecute you all your life and will be
Much more frightening and difficult to cope with than the cost of facing them.
3. From pain to power Fear is not the real problem given
That we all act in fear when we start something new. The real problem lies in
How you master fear. How you position yourself in front of him:
- From a position of Pain: that is, when you feel fear, a feeling floods you
Of Impotence and that leads to a state of Depression. Finally, there is a
Paralysis that prevents you from acting. - From a position of Power: act front
To fear knowing that you have the power to choose how you are going to perceive what happens to you, it is
Say, you choose to see the situation, not as something tenebrous, but as something that will enrich
Your life experience, and whatever it is, you will be able to face. This positioning
In front of the fear causes that you fill of Energy, and impels you towards the Action.
To move from Pain to Power, you need to start by making a change in your vocabulary,
That will lead you over time to think more powerfully (you will have more power
inside). It is about getting out of the role of "victim", replacing the - I can not,
For - I choose not to, to pass from - I should to - I could do it if I wanted, from - es
A problem at - is an opportunity to learn, and from - I hope it happens, al - I know it will happen,
among others. The more challenges you take, the more you will grow
Your confidence in "I can face what comes my way", and you will get closer to your own
Inner Power. When you do not use your power, you experience impotence, paralysis, depression, and this
Is a symptom that something is not right. You deserve a wonderful and exciting life. Remember that.
4. Whether you want it or not ... is yours Take responsibility for life, instead
To behave as a victim. Surely you have heard this message dozens of times,
But have you integrated them in your day to day, in your pattern of thought and in your form
Act? If you are watching this video, I am inclined to think that it is not.
Taking responsibility for how we are going to react or interpret one's life implies:
• never blame anyone for who you are, do, have or feel.
• do not blame yourself • know where and when you have not assumed
The responsibility to change • to silence the "inner voice of the
Fear "• be aware of the results that you
Keep "stuck" • imagine what you want in life and
Act accordingly • be aware of the many alternatives
That we all have in a given situation So if you really want to skip the boss
Of Victimist thinking that paralyzes you in the face of fear, to position yourself in front of your
Fears as a powerful person and protagonist of your life, you will have to go changing your form
To react and interact with your life.
5. Pollyanna returns to ride The story of Pollyanna tells us about the ability
To find the good side to everything that happens. Today positive thinking is
Badly seen because it is considered unrealistic. However, the author raises the following:
- Nothing is realistic or lacking in realism ... There is only what we think about
A given situation. We create our own reality.
This is closely related to fear, since it all depends on whether you face the situation
From a position of pain, or from power (as we saw before). A good way to practice
Seeing things from within, is through positive thinking.
Since usually 90% of the things we fear never happen, it is easy to deduce
That negative thoughts are rather unrealistic. So a good idea for
To gain self-confidence is to practice Positive Thinking, through repetition
Of positive affirmations. However, for this practice to take effect, it must
In a training program similar to what you propose when you want to wear
In form: you have to do it every day, and if it can be, several times a day.
Examples: - Do not fail if I can not ... the real success is to have tried,
Or - I am doing everything I want easily and effortlessly, or - I feel more confident
every day.
6. When "they" do not want you to grow
It is customary that after understanding how you can have a more positive life experience
And enter into your own process of personal evolution, the people around you start
To test yourself with all sorts of recriminations about your new, and often, misunderstood
conduct. And is that, you are not aware that you belong to the group of "Quejicas"
Until you stop complaining and take the reins of your life.
It is possible that those people in your inner circle who are more depressive begin
To get in the face that you are no longer the same (which means that you are succeeding
And you're on the right track, by the way). It may happen that suddenly you feel that you no longer have
Much in common with these people, that their topics of conversation no longer fill you and start
To realize that you are probably going to have to make changes also in the plane
Of interpersonal relationships. Your need for approval will be tested and you will have
You understand that little by little you will re-establish a new balance with your closest relatives.
More important than all this is that you remember that YOU must be your best friend.
You will want to find out the way of your heart to know what decisions to make
In pursuit of a life that makes you grow. And this is precisely what will make others
End up feeling renewed respect and love for you.
7. How to make the decision not to lose We have been taught since childhood to fear
To failure and, above all, to avoid making mistakes. What does it all mean?
this? - Decision making is often an intense source of concern
And fear of not choosing the "right" way out. So the author invites us to change our
Way of making decisions. For this, we propose to choose between two models to follow:
• Not win model: it is to try to control the result (the external forces
Which will influence it), and once the decision is made, it is most likely that
You compulsively revise your choice in a vain attempt to "assure yourself
That you were not mistaken. " And if the result is not what you expected, you'll feel bad for
Not having chosen the other option you had. • Not to lose model: is to focus
In the kindness of the election to choose. That is, putting your attention and energy into
The opportunities that any of your choices will give you to experience your life
Different ways and grow with the process. With this model, the result is always positive,
Therefore, you eliminate the fear. No matter what happens, you can face it and evolve with
(Learning new things, meeting interesting people, gaining trust, experience,
Aptitudes, abilities, vision, expand your consciousness, etc.)
Needless to say, we have been taught to use the first model, which unfortunately does not
Helps us to feel more confident, but rather to enlarge our insecurities,
So the choice is yours. Before making a decision, the author
Invites you to: 1. Immediately focus on the "
Do not lose "2. Do your homework. Ahonda to discover
All you can about the options you have.
3. Set your priorities. Clarify what you really want in life, toward
Where you want to go. 4. Trust your impulses. Sometimes logic
Will tell you to choose an option, but if you have a very strong impulse in the direction
Contrary, follow it! 5. Anímarte! Relativizes, nothing is so important
As it seems. You can face everything and also get stronger.
After making a decision: 1. Get rid of the preconceived image. This
Is, detach from the result, if it does not turn out to be what you expected, nothing happens.
2. Accept total responsibility for your decisions. If it goes wrong, you are responsible
You, do not blame others or circumstances. Assume and move on.
3. Do not bother ... correct it! If you see that what you have decided is not going with you, change
The course, or rectify. Do not follow the same path just because you have invested a lot
In it, the important thing is that you are comfortable with what you do and decide.
8. To what extent is "all your life" often encountered with people who
They put all their eggs in the same basket. Mothers who spend their entire lives in their children,
Employees who live only for their work, lovers who declare "I could not live without
he or she". The problem of this type of relationships that monopolize everything in life,
Is that they generate an extreme sense of need, and also of dependence (which can be translated
In source of numerous fears and insecurities). Susan proposes to solve this, adding
More important areas to our lives. While your life once had only one
Area: "the relationship with ... (your spouse, children, work, friend, etc.)", your duty to
To get more well-being is to add other areas and fill them also with commitment
For your part Examples of other areas: family, time alone, leisure, personal growth,
Hobbies, work, friends, participation, among others. Also, keep in mind these
Recommendations: 1. Understand, simply, that you can see
Trapped in a vicious circle. If only your love relationship pleases you in life,
You will spend replacing one lover for another every time they leave you, suffering a lot
in the path. 2. Make your own "grid for all
life". That is, choose several areas with which to focus your life (you can arrange them
In a grid). 3. When you have made your grid, choose
One of the areas to work with. What would you like to have that part
of your life? 4. Write down the ideas that come to you.
5. List the many things that should be done to make that idea a reality
6. Choose another area and repeat steps 4 and 5.
7. Every day draws daily goals that affect all the boxes in your grid
9. Simply move your head to say Yes!
Saying "yes" to what happens to you is an antidote to fear. But what
it means? To say "yes" means to stop struggling with
Life, stop resisting and flow with life. Saying "yes" involves relaxing body
And mind to examine from a high perspective the problems and complicated situations
Or embarrassing. The opposite to all this, is what usually
We do every day when the machine is damaged, we puncture a tire, we must make long
Tails or someone bother us, that is, we say "no". Saying "no" means rejecting
What happens and therefore deny us new opportunities, since the "no" prevents us
See the good side of things, even the most negative, and sink us into a deep
Well of fears and worries. So train yourself to say "yes," and
Begins to give meaning and purpose to everything that life offers you.
10. Choosing love and trust Your fears are fueled, in part, by
The belief that this world is full of people who want to deceive you or take advantage of
of you. On the other hand, you also tend to think in terms of scarcity: you never have
Enough money, love, attentions, recognition, success, etc. This makes you concentrate more
In trying to control everything, to think people wrong or to judge as negative the greatest
Part of the situations you face, which increases your fear and generates more
suffering. The author proposes as an alternative
New attitude based on "giving". Of course, this delivery attitude is only effective
If it is totally unconditional, since if you do not expect anything in return when you give, nothing
Nor can anyone take advantage of you. No one can "fail" you, and nothing can make you feel
Of scarcity. This is more a lifelong process than something that is done on time.
It implies adopting a new attitude towards life, much higher and full of purpose.
You can focus your new gift giving attitude: gratitude, information, praise, time, money
I love. And remember, this is a process that lasts a lifetime, you will always find new
Ways of giving yourself in each new circumstance, and with it you will be
Close to feeling invulnerable in the face of uncertainty.
11. Filling the Inner Vacuum All tools and suggestions seen
Until now have the purpose of leading you to a deep inner state where only
Have love, confidence, giving and "do not lose" decisions. In that
Space of consciousness, there is no room for fear or worry.
To access that state of consciousness, or as some of the "higher self"
Practice is needed, and above all pay close attention to the kind of reasoning
We follow when we make decisions or judge a situation:
1. You can follow your negative voice (the charlatan), which negatively judges everything that happens
And sees dangers everywhere. 2. Or you can follow the voice of your Higher Self,
Who relies on life and only focuses on positively re-signifying everything that happens.
The problem is that we automatically follow the first voice, and leave the intuitions
And higher reasoning in the background. The strategy to follow is to remember you
To yourself that you always have choice, and look for ways to reinforce this belief
With books, workshops, seminars, trainings, professional help, visualization, affirmations,
etc. You can choose to live from fear, or from trust.
12. There is plenty of time Once you start to become aware and start
To use the tools explained, you must watch your impatience, since it creates tension,
Dissatisfaction and fear. It is important to clarify again that this is a process that lasts throughout
Life, and so take the time you take what is important is "stay submerged"
In that inner wisdom that something will happen ... and therefore you do not have to be waiting
And demanding life to change, but simply to trust that it will change, always
And when you act accordingly: even if you feel afraid ... do it the same!
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