Hello, this is Gaianna Love I'm a Sacred Sexuality Coach for women and in this video
I want to talk about how to end a relationship with a ceremony, a closing ceremony with you and your beloved
once you've broken up.
So I happened upon a sheep paddock today that I thought it would be perfect to explore
this topic because just to remind us not to take life so seriously, and it's so hard during
the time of breakup not to take ...you know we take things so seriously it's intense,
and so just remember to lighten up whenever you can.
I don't know what that sheep's doing over there but...
So basically I'll tell you my story and then I'll share with you tips, and you know I might
just share the tips as I go through the story as well on how to go into that conversation
after the breakup has happened and be able to negotiate closure for both of
you after ending relationship.
Closure can be really helpful, I spent a month after my breakup, so I spent about a month
without talking to my partner...or my ex-partner because I really needed time to separate out
and there was a lot of things I couldn't understand.
I didn't understand why he did certain things, and so it gave me some time to process my
feelings.
And then there came a point where I had to...I felt it would be really helpful to talk to
him and be able to complete and just separate out in a better way because the separation
that had actually happened wasn't a great one, and basically it was...I have never experienced
anything quite like that in my life.
And so I wanted to, for my own sake, create better closure after ending relationship.
So the last week of the four weeks I spent a lot of time doing that heavy-duty processing
in order to decide where I wanted to point this closure because I found myself wanting
to do things that my...what I thought my mom would do.
So just get him, it's like try and prove I'm right, it's like whatever right.
And there was a bigger part of me that started to realize that it was actually all I needed
to do was hold the closing period and I didn't need to change his mind, I didn't need to
prove that I'm right, all I needed to do was create a space for unconditional love really,
and then I can...you know things can be spoken about in a way where there isn't judgment,
and that is tricky to do.
So basically what I did is the week before I went to...I really needed help and so I
went to a healer and she does a lot of the same things that I do, and basically I was
able to separate out...have a energetic divorce, be able to release myself from past-life vows
with this partner and along with a lot of other things just bringing myself back, all
the fragments of myself coming back from being in that relationship and back to him as well,
his fragments.
And afterwards instead of taking these huge steep like highs and lows of recovery from
a broken heart...these guys are too much eh, I...it started to even out, so the highs and
lows became like less extreme, and then I can start to process through and employ my
regular, my own techniques of self healing because before that I was actually unable
to look after myself in a way that I usually do like through meditation, through
emotional release, different ways that I process through things because the energy was so intense
and there was a backlog of it all.
And so anyway I came to a point where it was time to talk to him, and so I contacted him
and asked if he'd like to talk and have a better...have a little closure.
And so basically the way I set it up was when he showed up just laying some really gentle
ground rules of just saying...or guidelines, rules are a... whenever someone says others
really want to rebel against it, so guidelines for the conversation which was, "Let's have
some time here to say what we need to say to each other and ask each other any questions
that we needed to ask in order to understand this, what was going on."
And I had written down a bunch of questions that I wanted to ask him so I didn't forget,
cause I wasn't sure if this was going to be the last conversation we'd have in a long
time.
So it was scary, it was really scary because I didn't know what he was thinking.
I had a lot of projections about who he was and what he was going through from what his
friends had told me or people in my community had told me about what he was feeling or had
said.
So when he showed up it was...I was unable to determine what he was going to be like,
so he was a lot, like basically all my fears were put at ease and I started to...you know
I was able to like share my feelings about how I was feeling and ask the questions I
needed to; and then he as well, and that felt really good.
And we also had employed something along the lines of non-violent communication viz a just
a simple technique of being able to hold space for each other.
I'm going to add that below this video on my website or on Youtube you can click to
the page that will have it as a PDF, and it's basically how each of you can hold space.
Now this is really great information anyway for like heated conversations, if they become
heated.
So anyway we were able to hold space for each other and speak what we needed to say.
And so the next part of the conversation was sharing what is it we were going to miss of
from being with each other.
I felt like this is such an important part of closure because it really helped us to
recognize the things that were important and special about the relationship, and it was
powerful and at the same time I have to say that it is a very tricky thing to do because
at one point I was like, "Why am I breaking up with him, this has been so good and there
was so much love between us?"
So if that happens to you keep really clear the reasons why you broke up because you could
actually fall back into being with him or sleeping with him, or...and it's never a good
idea to do that because it gets very complicated after that.
And so...just like that sheep said, he agrees...and so that brought a lot of want to my heart and
I know to his as well to be able to do that.
And so the last part was a little ritual, and for me like you can do different
things right, it's symbolic.
Basically when you work with symbolism you're working with the unconscious and you're working
with the greater realm of the universe cause the universe works a lot with symbolism like
in or dream states.
We're very linear as people so like sometimes it's just good to have a little symbolism
going on there that are going on another level.
So you can do something like pour a cup of whatever, some sort of liquid and have three
cups, put the middle cup...the cup of liquid in the middle and then have the two separate
cups on the side and recognize this as being unity, this as being our relationship together;
and then pour the liquid equally in half in each cups and recognize that you're now separate
beings on different paths, and then drink them, separately.
So that's one way of doing it.
The way that we did it was...and I come from a very tantric perspective so this my resonate
with you, this may not; so I come from the perspective that each of our partners are
a reflection of ourselves, and the reflection as well of the universe, the masculine, like
as a woman, the masculine aspect of the universe has come to be incarnate to reflect my feminine.
So it's like the...what's perfect for me in so many ways, whether it be challenges, whether
it be the joys, whatever it is, the medicine is.
And so what we did is we put our hands together and three times we said, "I release you back
to love...I release you back to love...I release you back to love," as we looked in each other's
eyes, and it was so powerful.
So it was like releasing each other back into the cosmos to go our separate ways and to
recognize that we are going back into love and that the...allowing for the universe to
come in on new levels and create the next partner that we're ready for.
So that's how we did it.
And you can just listen to what feels right really.
So listen to your...you can tune in and just say throughout the conversation you can just
be like "I just need to take a breath...I just need to tune in to what is right."
And if something pops up to do like symbolically then trust it and go with it and check it
out and see what it's like.
So I also wanted to say that this type of conversation may go for a few times, it may
not...it may need a few...you may need a few sessions together before you both feel complete
because there might be like triggers, there might be big things that come up and you just
need to have space and say "Okay next week let's meet together at this time and I just
need space right now to process through this."
I hope you've been enjoying these sheep cause I am.
Well I hope you've enjoyed this and that it's been helpful.
If you have any questions then feel free to put them below.
There's a sheep coming right up to me here, he's totally cute.
Hello...you want to come up on my lap?
How to end a relationship with someone you love, can turn out well
I've got to show you, this is too much.
I don't know if you can see him but here we go, that'd be funny if he got up on my lap.
That was so sweet.
So yeah, feel free to leave me questions below and like my video if this has been helpful
for you, I'd love to know; and I also if you need help with moving through the deeper parts
of your process.
I am totally present here for you so if you'd like to have a 20 minute consultation...I have three
sheep here by the way...a 20-minute consultation to see if what I can offer you is right for
you then feel free to click on the link below that says "Complimentary consultation."
And yeah, thanks for watching.
Fantastic!
And the sheep thank you too.
I'm going to like...cause the little sheep just like here what's actually going on...he's
adorable, and then these guys came up here.
Oh my gosh!
Totally cute.
Don't eat my fingers!
No!
Okay bye.
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