The Book of Genesis, Chapter 6. And after
a time, when men were increasing on the
earth, and had daughters, The sons of God
saw that the daughters of men were
fwucking hot as shet; and so they casually
took wives for themselves from those who
were pleasing to them.
We're hoping at least a little romance
was involved but can't say for sure. And
the Lord said, Listen up y'all - My spirit
will not be in man for ever, for he is
only feeble flesh; so the days of his
life will be a hundred and twenty years.
Sucks the big one I know but hey what
can you do?
Many would suspect them of rampant
steroid use but there were men of great
strength and size who were super ripped
on the earth in those early days; and
after that, when the sons of God banged the
sexy daughters of men, they gave birth to
children: who were the great men of old
days, the men of great name.
We're pretty sure there were great women
too, it's just no one gave a shet at the
time apparently.
And the Lord saw that the sin of man was
great on the earth, so many dirty dirty
deeds, and that 100% of
the thoughts in his heart were evil.
Jeepers, where did I fwuck up so bad he
thought. And the Lord had sorrow because
he had made man on the earth, and grief
was in his heart. And the Lord said, Fwuck
it! Might as well kill everything. I will
take away man, whom I have made, from
the face of the earth, even man and beast
and that which goes on the earth and
every bird of the air; for I have sorrow
for having made them.
Yes, everything must die! But somehow
homedog Noah had grace and swagger in
the eyes of God. A typical man crush
really. These are the generations of Noah.
Noah was an upright man, very similar
to Ned Flanders except wildly handsome,
and without sin in his generation: he
went in the ways of God. And Noah had
three sons, Shem, Ham, and Japheth.
Together the 3 were known as the
Wonder Triplets. But the earth was still
evil in God's eyes and full of violent
ways. Drive byes, gang rapes terrible stuff.
And God, looking on the earth, saw that it
was evil as shet: for the way of all
flesh had become evil on the earth. And
so God says to Noah,
Hope all is well with you these days man.
Listen bud, The end of all flesh has come;
the earth is full of their violent
doings, and now I'm pretty sure I'm just
gonna say fwuck it and kill everything.
Make for yourself an ark of gopher wood
with rooms in it, and make it safe from
the water inside and out. And this is the
way you are to make it: it is to be three hundred
cubits long, fifty cubits wide, and thirty cubits
high. You are to put a window in the ark, a
cubit from the roof, and a door in the
side of it, and you are to make it with
a lower and second and third floors.
And Noah, this isn't IKEA, so put a little
fwucking elbow grease into it.
You're the only one that can save the
world now. For truly, I will send a great
flood of waters over the entire earth to
brutally drown every living thing;
everything on the earth will come to an
end. But with you Noah, who is so handsome
and up right, I will make an agreement; and
you will come into the ark, you, the
Wonder Triplets, and your highly
intelligent wife, and your sons' wives
with you. And you will take with you into
the ark two of every sort of living
thing, and keep them safe with you; they
will be male and female so be sure to
check for pussies and cocks. You need to
get it right.
Two of every sort of bird and cattle
and of every sort of living thing which
goes on the earth will you take with you
to keep them from destruction.
Never mind about the dolphins, sharks,
fish and whales for now. They'll die in
the ark and I haven't decided if their
flesh is evil.
I'll drop you an angel if things change
bro. And make a store of every sort of
food for yourself and them. Even though
many children and helpless animals were
about to die,
Noah didn't seem to mind. As God said, so
he did.
Smack it up, flip it, rub it Down.
So that's all she wrote for today man.
Does your brain feel full pal? Cool! If
you want a heads up from yours truly
whenever a new video comes out,
remember to hit that subscribe button
muchacho. Wiggity wiggity wack -
I'll be back jack.
No comments:
Post a Comment