So today is 25th December 2017 and here I am.
2017 is about to end, so here is my review of my 2017.
And here we go.
January.
Like, like – I have to go back and go over what's happened this year because a lot of things have happened.
January was the stress of the finals, as I had exams, I had semester finals in January.
So January for me was the exams and the studying and the stress – everything, you know.
It was not going out or anything, it was studying and exams.
February was a very important month for me because a project I had started came to its end.
And it was very notable for my life because it was something I had never done before.
It came as a surprise in the sense that I had no idea when it was going to end.
I knew it would have to end because everything ends in this life and because, you know, it
was something that was destined to end.
But I had no idea when.
I felt, I sensed that the end might be near but I wasn't sure.
So it was surprising.
I felt a relief and a sadness, both, both things.
And, you known, I felt hopeful because, as I mentioned on the video I made to myself,
I was going to take care of myself.
I did not know what the future might bring but I was going to take care of myself.
And I have done so.
It is quite fitting because at the beginning of 2017 this project finished and at the end
of 2017 a second project of similar characteristics has started.
So it's quite fitting.
February and March were very important to me because I was beginning something new.
In February 2017 I started going to morning classes and it was very interesting and something
new, something exciting in a way, because I got to meet new teachers and new classmates
and, you know, to get used to a new schedule, and to get used to getting up early.
Of course as a kid, as a child, I had gone to morning classes because, you know, schools,
middle schools, primary schools, high schools normally have only morning classes, they very
rarely do have afternoon classes.
But it had been two and a half years, roughly, since I had last gone to morning classes.
Also, in March I met some people I hadn't met in a while and it was fun and it was very
nice to see them all.
And I remember that day and I remember it with fondness.
It was very nice to see them all and to know what they had been up to.
If my memory doesn't fail me, it was in April that I finished another project.
And it was awesome.
And I am very proud of the work we did as a team because it was such a hard work and
we invested so much time on that and so much effort.
And the result, I liked quite a lot.
And I am very proud of the effort we made and how we overcame the difficulties that
came in our way, which were many.
In May, things started going downhill.
I was not feeling well.
But, you know, I still made it through my finals in June and I still, you know, went on,
kept going on and kept fighting and, you know, I am proud of that.
I like to think that I have learnt a lot lately and that I am becoming a healthier person
when it comes to mental and emotional health.
So when I am right now looking back at the year I am focusing on the positives, on the
things I learnt, on the things I did, on the difficulties I overcame.
I'm not focusing so much on the difficulties themselves but on the lessons I learnt, on
the good things that happened, on the difficulties I overcame, on the overcoming of those difficulties.
And I am trying to be kind to myself.
Because in the past I have been very unkind.
And now I like to believe I am learning to be kinder to myself.
Then came June with the finals.
It was very stressful, it was very hard, and I was very scared because there was this exam
that didn't go so well and I feared that I would not pass.
But I did pass.
And so I am happy.
And also there was this third project which ended in June.
And this was maybe the most stressful and, you know, the hardest.
But the result was awesome, I loved it.
I made mistakes, I did make mistakes.
And the result could have been better, of course, partly due to the mistakes I made,
but I am very satisfied with how it turned out.
Ironically or whatever you want to call it, the summer vacation (June, July, August) was
not such a good time for me.
I was not feeling well.
I look back at it and at the time I was not enjoying myself but right now I look at the
lessons I learnt and, you know, all that stuff, and I see it as something good, something
nice and enjoyable, that I would have enjoyed more if I had not been feeling unwell.
But, you know, I learnt new things, I met new people, I went to new places and that's
something I cherish.
In September I started my last year of my degree, my bachelor's degree.
And I was, you know, positive, I was looking forward to it.
I have proved to myself that I don't really need, you know, people there to support myself
emotionally because I can support myself emotionally.
That friendship is something good but not something that my happiness, my self-esteem, depends on.
That I can love myself even if I don't really have someone that loves me by my side.
And that's something I have struggled with for most of my life.
October was, you know, a good month.
It was nice.
In November (by the end of November, by the way) I started this fourth project.
For some time by then, by November, I had been, you know, considering taking part in
this project.
And I was not really sure.
But by the end of November I was like, 'Well, why not try?
Why not give it a chance?' and so by the end of November I kinda enrolled myself, you
could say, in this project, I joined this project.
And it is something that is helping me learn about myself and explore new realities I had
never explored and enjoy new things.
And, you know, there are things I encounter that I don't really enjoy but I can always,
you know, walk away from them, like, distance myself and be assertive on my likes and dislikes
and on my wants and needs.
And I can always sort things out with other people, because this is a project that involves
the participation of other people, of many people.
And I am enjoying it.
And now it's December and very near the end of December and the end of the year, and
December has been a very good month.
I am enjoying myself.
I am being kind to myself.
And I am focusing on the positive.
There are always times when I struggle to focus on the positive, but whenever I can
I focus on the positive.
I acknowledge the negative, I acknowledge, for example, the mistakes I make, but my attitude
is of 'Well, what can we learn from that mistake?'
There's this thought that comes to my mind every now and then, and it is that I am finally
living the life I have wanted for so long.
And that is awesome.
That makes me very proud.
And I had not been proud of myself for a long time.
So you can imagine.
I am feeling very, very happy.
And, you know, whatever the next year has, you know, for me, I will face it.
I will fight.
I will go on.
I will never give up.
And I will do my best.
And that is enough.
Doing your best is enough.
Trying hard is enough.
So I will be enough.
So, thank you everyone for watching and, you know, as always, if you've liked you can
click the 'like' button and subscribe or whatever and even leave a comment.
And I hope you have had a very good 2017 and that you have a fantastic 2018.
Bye-bye!
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