Saturday, June 30, 2018

Youtube daily report w Jun 30 2018

I welcome you very warmly.

I welcome you very warmly.

On this side, Patryk "Taksi ZRT" Malinowski.

Welcome to the next video on my channel.

It will be quite specific material because

we'll talk about politics today.

This will be a very serious topic, which is why

do not forget to leave your paws up, share

this video on your facebook

and wherever it is possible.

Let the show begin...

Ladies and gentlemen, citizens,

countrymen,

dear children and dear parents...

Today's internet, our internet

is threatened.

The European Union is planning to introduce a law,

which the mainly goal is to censor the internet,

but you've heard it from all youtubers,

because everyone has to record a video about it.

That is why I would like to introduce my position

on this issue:

I HAVE THIS FUCKING DEEP IN POINT.

Thank you for your attention, see you...

For more infomation >> 😟ACTA 2.0 - NADCHODZI KONIEC INTERNETU - UDOSTĘPNIJ 😟 ENG. SUB. - Duration: 1:36.

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Cookie Cutters Haircuts for Kids - Duration: 2:51.

For more infomation >> Cookie Cutters Haircuts for Kids - Duration: 2:51.

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Renault Grand Scénic 110pk dCi Bose 5 P. | Half Leder | Full Led Verlichting | R-link Navigatie | D - Duration: 1:07.

For more infomation >> Renault Grand Scénic 110pk dCi Bose 5 P. | Half Leder | Full Led Verlichting | R-link Navigatie | D - Duration: 1:07.

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PJ Masks Toys Nighttime Adventures Rev N Rumblers Race Track Playset Toys R Us Toys Catboy Gekko Car - Duration: 8:18.

Fuzzy Kiwi TV

Hi Everyone!

Today we are going to be playing with the PJ Masks Nighttime Adventures Rev-N-Rumblers Track playset!

I Can't wait! This looks like so much fun!

Cool! This track Glows in the dark!

You can only buy this track at Toy R Us.

This track playset comes with two Rumbler cars.

The Cat-car and Romeo's Lab Truck.

Are you ready to put this track together?

Here we go!

There, now the race track is complete.

Here are the four Rumbler cars you can get for this playset.

We have Cat Boys Cat-car.

Romeo's Lab Truck.

Owlettes Owl Glider.

...And Gekko's Gekko mobile.

Let me show you some of the components to this track.

Here is Luna Girl!

When you move the lever, it opens the bridge to a secret passage.

Here is Night Ninja with his crew of Ninjalinos.

When you push them down, they jump back up once the cars drive over this bump on the road.

This is one of two Night Ninja Flags.

They look Super Cool!

...Then we have some sticky Splats on the road.

There's five in total.

This is where the race starts!

You put both cars on the starting point.

Then you lift these flaps to make sure they are both starting at the same point.

Then you press this yellow button for take off.

There goes Gekko!

If the car doesn't take off just give it a good shake and that will start the engine.

Let's get them all going here.

Super Cool!

Ooops! Looks like there is a traffic Jam!

Oh! Another Traffic Jam!

That was super fun to watch them all go at the same time.

Lets do some races now.

Lets do Gekko VS. Romeo.

On your mark, get set, GO!!!

Super Cool!

Now lets do Owlette VS. Cat Boy.

On your mark, get set, GO!!!

Lets pull this lever and see what happens!

OH NO! Owlette Flew off the track!!!

Super FUN!!!

"I want a rematch, my car flew off last time"

"Alright Owlette, Lets do a rematch!"

Lets shake them to get their engines started.

On your mark, Get Set, Go!!!...just kidding...GO!!!

Super Awesome!!!

Next lets race Romeo VS. Cat Boy.

"Here is my chance to beat Cat Boy!"

"Romeo doesn't stand a chance against the Cat-Car. I'm way faster!"

Lets shake them to start their engines.

On your mark, Get Set, GO!!!

WOW!!! They pretty much stopped at the exact same time!

It's a tie!

For the last race of the day we have Gekko VS. Romeo.

Hahaha...I stole Lionel from Gekko! Lets see how good he does without his lucky charm!

Hey Romeo, give me back Lionel! You know I can't race without him. Didn't anyone ever teach you not to take things that aren't yours?

This isn't good!

Lets start their engines!

On your mark, Get Set, GO!!!

"My car won't start!"

Ouch! That's gotta hurt!

That was humiliating!

"Can I have Lionel back now?"

"Alright, it felt good to beat you!"

"Lets go home Lionel, don't ever leave me again!"

Thanks for watching friends! Let me know which race car was your favorite in the comments below.

Thanks! BYE!!!

Please subscribe if you like this video and give us a thumbs up!

See you on the next video!

For more infomation >> PJ Masks Toys Nighttime Adventures Rev N Rumblers Race Track Playset Toys R Us Toys Catboy Gekko Car - Duration: 8:18.

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30/06/2018 10:59 (R. dos Maristas, 221 - Dom Avelar, Salvador - BA, 41315-180,) - Duration: 2:57.

For more infomation >> 30/06/2018 10:59 (R. dos Maristas, 221 - Dom Avelar, Salvador - BA, 41315-180,) - Duration: 2:57.

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Love & Relationships: How you can achieve love and successful relationships - Duration: 40:52.

Hi, welcome to Happy Now Olivia!

A channel dedicated to the pursuit of happiness, because you don't have to wait.

You can be happy now.

I'm Olivia.

Today I'm going to talk about Love and Relationships, the subject of timeless art, literature and

music.

We all want to love and to be loved, but most problems in modern society come from neglecting

the first part of that sentence.

Actively loving someone versus just wanting to be loved.

If you've watched my Intro video, you know that I was searching for happiness for a long

time.

Part of that search included desperately trying to find love.

I looked outside of myself and gave everything I had to give to all the wrong people.

I neglected the most important person, myself.

In order to know and love someone else, we have to know and love ourselves.

We've heard this before and it may sound trite, but it's true.

In todays world there are a thousand distractions at every turn.

If we haven't learned to focus our attention to the deepest parts of who we are, this concept

may be difficult to accept, or we may be convinced we know who we are and what we want.

When we are in a close relationship with someone, two things happen.

The best of us comes out, but also the worst of us comes out and that is one of the greatest

opportunities for personal growth.

When the little things and sometimes the big things that aren't the most polished or

the prettiest come out, love, commitment and understanding play their greatest roles in

helping us to grow and to look within ourselves to get better.

The result is a deep, wonderful, and honest connection with another human being.

In order to address the subject of how to achieve love and successful relationships

I'm going to go back to two of my favorite books, "Restoration Therapy" by Terry Hargrave

and Franz Pfitzer and "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey.

With Restoration Therapy the goal is to restore the elements of human existence that most

often cause relational and individual brokenness.

The human need to find relationships, to develop relationships is innate.

We can't form identity, knowledge of the self, or even our personalities without

the context of another.

We don't reflect ourselves.

We see and learn about ourselves through the context and reflection of relationships.

Relationships demand that one individual give to another.

As a result of the giving, this individual is entitled to receive something.

These two facts make humans interdependent.

Interdependence is the healthy expression of a allowing the desire for relationships

when there is a consistency we can rely on that allows us to trust and move towards

an exchange of love and intimacy.

That predictability and trust allows to move into deeper and deeper levels of interaction.

So what happens when a partner in a relationship is irresponsible?

Who will be responsible for the giving the other in the relationship needs?

Many people who are in relationships with irresponsible people become isolated because

of the hopelessness that the other partner will not meet their needs, or they become

over responsible trying to meet their own needs.

We can't receive from ourselves the giving that must come from another.

Responsibility in a relationship belongs to two people, and it means to give responsibly

in a way that is reliable.

But human beings are not totally reliable.

Even in the best of relationships and in the best of circumstances, with the best of intentions

partners can't be totally predictable.

How much unpredictability can a relationship handle?

According to Hargrave and Pfizer, clinically, partners in a relationship need a consistency

rate of about 85% to 90%.

Predictability doesn't mean perfection, but partners have to be consistent in giving

or they will be forced into a position of questioning safety and trustworthiness.

An aspect of trustworthiness that is key in relationships is Justice or Balance.

In a horizontal relationships between equals such as spouses, each is entitled to give

and each is entitled to receive equally.

Picture a ledger where on the left someone is entitled to receive respect, care and intimacy.

On the right they're obligated to give respect, care and intimacy.

This is just a partial list of what spouses and people in relationships give and take.

Each relationship's individual ledger may be different in terms of specifics.

For example in some relationships one person is more responsible for providing income to

the family, the other may be responsible to provide more care and nurturing to the household.

If the individuals feel that the give and take is balanced, they will feel that the

relationship is fair, and that there is justice in the give and take.

It's important to remember that the give and take in a relationship does not to be

exact at any given moment.

Sometimes someone gives more than they receive in a relationship, or they receive more than

they give.

As long as these times oscillate appropriately between partners, so that the give and take

is balanced over a period of time, trustworthiness can be achieved.

The point is to maintain long-term balance in relationships.

In order to illustrate a practical way of how to achieve trust and balance in relationships,

I'm going to go over Stephen Covey's fantastic concept of the emotional bank account.

With a financial bank account we make deposits to build up a reserve from which we can make

withdrawals when we need too.

An emotional bank account is a metaphor for the amount of trust that's been built in

a relationship.

For example, if I make deposits into an emotional bank account with you through kindnesses,

honesty and keeping promises, I build up a reserve.

Your trust toward me becomes higher, and I can call upon that trust many times if I need to.

I can even make mistakes and that high trust account, that emotional reserve will compensate

for it.

When the trust account is high communication is easy, instant and effective.

But if I have a habit of showing discourtesy, disrespect, cutting you off, ignoring you,

becoming arbitrary, betraying your trust and threatening you, my emotional bank account

is overdrawn.

The trust levels are very low and I have no flexibility.

I have to watch everything I say, be careful about everything I say.

The tension in the air is palpable.

Marriage is the most intimate, potentially rich, joyful, satisfying, and productive relationship

possible between two people.

Our most constant relationships require our most constant deposits.

We've all run into friends from the past we haven't seen for years and we can pick

up right where we left off, because earlier deposits are still there.

But our accounts with the people we interact with on a regular basis need a more constant

investment.

Stephen Covey outlines 6 major deposits we can do to build an emotional bank account that

will yield a lifetime of love and trust interest.

The first deposit we can make is Understanding the Individual.

Really seeking to understand another person is probably the most important deposit you

can make and the key to every other deposit.

We really don't know what constitutes a deposit to someone else unless we truly know

and understand that person.

What may constitute a deposit to you: going for a walk to talk things over, going out

for ice cream together, doing a project together, may not be perceived as a deposit

by someone else.

In fact, it might even be perceived as a withdrawal if it doesn't address that person's deep

interests or needs.

To make a deposit, what is important to someone else must be as important to you as that person

is to you.

We tend to project out of our own autobiographies what we think other people want or need.

The second deposit we can make towards having a successful relationship is Attending to

the Little Things.

Little kindnesses and courtesies are so important.

Small unkindnesses and discourtesies or forms of disrespect make major withdrawals.

In relationships the little things are the big things.

Third, Keeping Commitments.

Keeping a commitment or a promise is a major deposit.

Breaking one is a major withdrawal.

There's probably not a more massive withdrawal you can make than to make a promise that matters,

that means something to someone and not come through.

Fourth, Clarifying Expectations.

Most relationship difficulties are rooted in conflicting and ambiguous expectations

around roles and goals.

Unclear expectations lead to misunderstandings, disappointments and withdrawals of trust.

Expectations may be implicit.

They haven't been explicitly stated or announced, but people nonetheless bring them into a particular

situation.

Even if they haven't been discussed or the person who has isn't even aware of it,

fulfilling them makes deposits, violating them makes withdrawals.

That's why it's so important whenever you come into a new situation to lay out on

the table all the expectations explicitly and clearly.

The fifth deposit we can make is to Show Personal Integrity.

Personal Integrity generates trust and it's the basis for many other deposits.

A lack of integrity undermines almost every other effort to build high trust accounts.

Integrity includes but goes beyond honesty.

Honesty is telling the truth, conforming our words to reality.

Integrity is conforming reality to our words: keeping promises and fulfilling expectations.

One of the most important ways we can manifest integrity is to be loyal to those who are

not present.

In doing so, we gain the trust of those who are present.

Integrity is an interdependent reality where we treat everyone by the same set of principles.

Many people would prefer to take the course of least resistance, belittling and criticizing,

betraying confidences, and gossiping about people behind their backs.

Integrity also means avoiding any conversation that is deceptive and beneath the dignity

of people.

The sixth and final deposit we can make is To Apologize Sincerely.

A person must have a deep level of security in order to apologize genuinely.

People with little internal security can't do it.

It makes them too vulnerable.

They feel it makes them appear soft and weak.

Their worth comes from the opinions of other people and they worry what others might think.

They usually feel justified in what they did and they rationalize their own wrongdoing.

If they apologize at all, it's insincere.

Sincere apologies make deposits, repeated apologies interpreted as insincere make withdrawals.

When we make deposits of unconditional love with people, we help them to feel safe, secure,

validated and affirmed in their sense of worth, identity and integrity.

One of, another aspect of trustworthiness that is key in relationships is Openness.

When we are open about our flaws we acknowledge areas of deficiency.

It makes us more likely to use that openness to address shortcomings and to grow.

Being open about flaws without addressing shortcomings demands that the other partner

simply adjust, and live as if the problem doesn't exist, or can't be solved.

Openness doesn't mean, it's not about saying "This is the way I am, and in order

to be with me you have to take me as I am."

It means "This is what I see in myself and I believe I can be better."

When openness points toward growth, our imperfections and our partner's actually pull us closely

into a more intimate bond.

Openness also provides an opportunity to demonstrate vulnerability.

When we share what we think about a particular subject or that partner in a relationship,

we invite the other to do the same.

Our thoughts and emotions in many ways are the things that are the most important and

the deepest to us.

When we share these openly and vulnerably in relationships we're sharing the deepest

parts of who we are.

There are two ways in which people are not open in relationships.

The first is misrepresentation and lying.

When someone is intentionally deceptive in a relationship, the discovery is particularly

painful to the other individual because their thoughts, feeling and reality turned out to

be false, and they're left wondering if anything in the relationship was real or true.

Another way lying is painful is that vulnerability and openness were openly given with nothing

given in return.

The second way people are not open in relationships is to become distant or secretive which results

in an intimacy standstill.

There is little interaction between partners as they each drift further and further away

into their own individuality.

There is no intimacy or vulnerability.

There has been much interest in psychology about the unconscious and seeking relationships

to correct or fulfill a need, desire or relationship from the past.

For example, a man marries a woman just like his mother or ex-wife.

Some of these theories are valid in terms of motivations, unconscious urges and felt

obligations, but Hargrave and Pfitzer's basic premise of the Restoration Therapy model

is that human beings seek relationships not so much because they mimic the behavior and

relationships with our past and our caregivers, but because they need them to form a sense

of identity and safety.

Human beings are built to seek relationships and for those relationships to be

trustworthy, balanced and fulfilled.

Unfulfilled and unmet needs in relationships resemble unfulfilled and unmet needs with

our primary caregiving relationships, because relationships in general bring out those needs

that are related to love and trustworthiness.

That's why relationships provide us with an incredible opportunity to grow.

Because we can choose to face ourselves and our past in order to find love, peace and

balance in the present.

It's not okay for an individual to seek from their spouse or child the love and nurturing

they did not get from a parent.

However, it's normal for those primary emotions surrounding the past to come up in relationships

in the present.

I go over in detail how a lack of love and trustworthiness affects our behavior and personality

at an individual level and how to get better in my Therapy video.

There are two patterns found in relationships: complimentary and symmetrical.

In complimentary relationships, the patterns of the partners tend to be at opposite extremes.

If one partner is dominant, the other may be submissive.

If one is assertive, assertive, the other may be avoidant.

Behavior in the relationships remains fairly stable because both partners in the relationship

are doing and feeling something different than the other.

In symmetrical relationships the patterns of the partners tend to be of the same nature.

If one is blaming, the other is blaming.

If one is controlling, the other is controlling too.

Intensity and feelings escalate because both partners are doing more of the same behavior.

Complimentary relationships can work well if the focus is constructive, appropriate,

loving and trustworthy.

For example, a parent feels loved, fulfilled and optimistic, therefore parents their child

in an authoritative, instructive and involved manner.

In turn, the child feels loved, competent and not alone, is submissive to the direction

of the parent, cooperative in instruction and intimate and open.

Likewise symmetrical relationships can work well and be positive if the focus of the intensity

and escalation are in a loving and trustworthy direction.

For example, lovers interested in demonstrating love to one another, in spending more quality

time with one another.

They might reciprocate with increasing number of gifts, conversations and activities that

continue to reinforce that care and nurturing in the relationship.

In both patterns if there is a question of safety and identity, it can make the partners

agitated and frustrated and the relationship itself can reinforce unloving and untrustworthy

feelings present in each partner's past.

How an individual reacts from relationship to relationship and setting to setting is

fairly constant.

I'm going to go over some of the destructive patterns that develop in relationships, but

if you want to know more about everything I'm talking about I highly recommend

"Restoration Therapy" and "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People."

As always I link below the video everything I recommend and additional information.

One of the destructive patterns that can develop in relationships is the Pursuer/Distancer Pattern

where partners in a relationship have distinct and differing needs with the Pursuer

desiring a more close, emotionally enmeshing relationship, while the Distancer values autonomy

and individuality more.

The Pursuer may have a difficult time holding on to a consistent sense of self without having

someone to reassure them of love and affection.

They feel alone and unwanted and act needy or try to manipulate the partner toward more intimacy

The Distancer feels unsafe as a result of the neediness and manipulation feeling that

the Pursuer will never be happy with his or her efforts or actions, and feeling hopeless

to meet the Pursuer's needs.

They will cope by using Escape/Chaos behaviors and avoid that partner.

Next another destructive pattern is the Overfunctioner/Underfunctioner Pattern.

In this pattern partners are feeling threatened by, in terms of safety and trustworthiness,

and they react towards two extremes of Control Behaviors, the Overfunctioner, and Escape/Chaos

behaviors, the Underfunctioner.

For example, the Overfunctioner feels betrayed or used, and they act in a critical and judgmental way.

The Underfunctioner feels disconnected and guilty and shames themselves, using Escape/Chaos

behaviors and withdraws to avoid those feelings.

Another destructive pattern is the Blamer/Placater pattern.

In this pattern partners are usually feeling pressure or pain in terms of dentity and feeling unloved

The Blamer blames because they feel alone, insignificant and unappreciated.

The Placater copes by shaming themselves as they feel worthless, defective and hopeless.

The Blamer is angry, arrogant and aggressive, the Placater anxious, needy, and depressed.

As this pattern develops it almost always comes to be at least emotionally abusive of

the Placater and usually develops into physical and sexual violence.

Marriage can be the most intimate, satisfying and enduring of human relationships so it

may seem natural and even proper to be centered on your spouse, or significant other.

But when Stephen Covey worked with troubled marriages, he observed than in almost every

spouse-centered relationships there was a strong thread of emotional dependence.

When our sense of worth comes primarily from our marriage and not ourselves we become highly

dependant on the moods, behaviors, and treatment of our spouse or partner in a relationship

and to any external event that may impinge on that relationship: a new child, economic

setbacks, in-laws, social successes and so forth.

When responsibilities and stressors come into the marriage, the spouse centered relationship

reveals all it's vulnerability.

Some people seek therapy to change that spouse or person in a relationship because they need

someone to be or behave differently in order to feel okay about themselves and feel safe in the relationship.

This strategy leads nowhere, because when it comes to relationships deteriorating it's

never just one person's fault and the person seeking to change that someone else without

seeing themselves as an object of change is missing the big picture.

Sometimes it's true that the other person needs to change.

Most of these relationships are with violent, victimizing or highly irresponsible people,

but the truth remains that change must be focused on ourselves, because it's not possible

to change someone else.

We can only change ourselves.

To do this requires and incredible amount of proactivity.

To be proactive is Stephen Covey's first habit in his "7 Habit of Highly Effective People."

I go over all habits in my 7 Habits video.

But the 7 habits are a principle centered, character based inside out approach.

Meaning that in order to grow and change you have to look at the most inside part of yourself first.

If you want to have a happy, loving and successful relationship then be the kind of person that

generates positive energy and sidesteps negative energy rather than empowering it.

If you want a more pleasant and cooperative teenager then be a more understanding, empathetic,

consistent and loving parent.

If you want more freedom and latitude in your job, then be a more helpful, contributing,

and responsible employee.

If you want to be trusted, then be trustworthy.

If you want the secondary greatness of recognized talent then focus first on the primary greatness

of character.

If we use what Stephen Covey called The Personality Ethic, superficial influence strategies and

techniques to get other people to do what we want, to work better, to be more motivated,

to like us more, while our character remains fundamentally flawed, marked with duplicity

and insincerity then in the long run we can't be successful with others or at life.

In an artificial social system like a school you may be able to get by if you learn to

manipulate the man-made rules and how to play the game.

In most one-shot, short-lived human interactions, you can use the personality ethic to make

a favorable impression by using charm, skill and pretending to like other people's hobbies.

Many people with secondary greatness, that is social recognition for their talents, lack

primary greatness and goodness in their character.

Sooner or later you'll see this in every long-term relationship they have whether it's

with a spouse, a work associate, a friend or a teenager going through an identity crisis.

When it comes to relationships there are no shortcuts.

There is no way to parachute into this terrain.

The landscape ahead is covered with the fragments of broken relationships of people who have

tried to jump into effective relationships without the maturity or strength of character

to maintain them.

You have to walk the road.

You can't be successful with others if you haven't paid the price of success with yourself.

So what happens if there is a problem in our intimate relationships?

When a couple falls in love, they come together and many marry because they're intoxicated

with that initial euphoria of love, but within a matter of months or years

they can't stand each other.

Many are absolutely convinced the other partner is their enemy.

How did this couple who were once so in love lose one another to become distant and emotionally

disillusioned?

Many couples lose themselves because of their differences in relationship focus.

Many people come into relationships expecting the other partner to give them emotional fulfillment

and happiness.

What they often find is someone who triggers them emotionally and creates many questions

around safety and identity.

Instead of safe they feel insecure.

Instead of loved they feel unloved, unwanted and alone.

Many people who go into relationships looking for this type of emotional fulfillment and

happiness are actually missing the point of what relationships do in general.

Relationships, especially deep mating, family relationships, force us toward growth to deal

with the deepest parts of ourselves in terms of learning who we are and how to be more

capable and powerful in a world that is not always safe.

As much as we would like it to be so, a partner is not built to give us our identity or to

protect us in an unsafe world.

There was but, There is but one time in our lives when that is programmed into us and

is in the vertical relationship between caregiver and child.

What we have in a horizontal relationship of coupling is the opportunity to walk together,

to share, to struggle and to grow.

As individuals we must be responsible for our own sense of self and our own power or

we cannot couple.

Relationships are not meant to make us happy, they're meant to make us grow.

Partnering through marriage is not just two people who commit to sharing life together

and standing by one another.

They actually create something new because of their relationship.

Hargrave and Pfitzer call it the "Us-ness."

The wonderful quality of this "Us-ness" is that it's neither you nor me.

The relationship contains both individuals and is more than the sum of their individual parts

Even though the relationship is invisible, it does have visible parts that are identifiable

and, that are dynamic and visible.

Us-ness has it's own personality, likes and dislikes.

For example, my wife likes hiking.

I don't particularly.

However, our Us-ness likes hiking.

I don't mean that because my wife likes hiking, I submit to her wishes and go hiking.

I mean that when we go hiking together, the experience of being in nature, of challenging

ourselves physically, and of, of spending quality time with one another is part of who

we are.

Our Us-ness likes hiking, although I would never choose to do it on my own.

In the same way that children are similar to their parents, us-ness is similar to the

partners, but it's representative of it's own identity.

Parents take care of themselves individually, but usually put the best interests of the

child first.

Taking care of a couple relationship is much like taking care of a child.

It doesn't mean that the individuals are inattentive to their own needs, but they recognize

that they also have a responsibility toward the care and nurturing of the relationship.

Just as parents grow as they learn how to raise a child, partners inevitably grow as

they give love and trustworthiness to their us-ness.

If partners learn how to manage the heart of their own conflicts, they will be in a much better position

to look out for the best interests of their us-ness and achieve closeness and intimacy.

In the Restoration Therapy model, Hargrave and Pfitzer have developed 4 phases of healing

that excel in helping couples manage their conflict successfully and arrive at intimacy.

The first phase is Understanding the Pain Cycle.

We must understand the emotional components that drive instability in a relationship.

A couple doesn't have, 10, 20, or 30 disagreements even though they may fight about various things

like parenting, financing or friends.

A couple doesn't have 20 fights in one month, they have one fight 20 different times.

In the Restoration Therapy book, Hargrave and Pfitzer go in the depth into the 4 phases

of healing.

In the first phase of Identifying The Pain Cycle as you learn to identify your own issues,

individual issues surrounding identity and safety, you begin to identify yours and your

partner's coping mechanisms and reactivity.

For example, if we have a couple where the husband feels unloved and shames himself.

The wife feels unsafe and fearful and begins controlling.

Then the husband feels alone and acts invulnerable.

Then the wife feels out of control and begins to act in a perfectionistic manner.

Then then husband feels like he can't measure up and withdraws to defend.

Then the wife acts, the wife feels vulnerable and begins to act in a nagging and judgmental way.

And the destructive cycle repeats itself.

Once you figure out what your particular, what the particular pain cycle in your relationship

is, the second phase of healing is the Peace Cycle, is Understanding the Peace Cycle, Identifying

the Peace Cycle.

In this cycle we identify primary emotions and behaviors that are anchored in love and

trustworthiness like nurturing, self-valuing, balanced give and take, and reliable connecting.

The more we replace the negative behaviors and emotions with positive ones, the more

the individuals feel loved and that the relationship is trustworthy.

The third phase of healing is Moving to Transition.

Even if you identify the pain cycle and the peace cycle, transitioning is a significant

challenge.

It requires constant repetition and rewiring and working to rewire the neural pathways

in the brain.

I go over how to do this in my Therapy video, but the 4 steps to rewire the brain are to

Say What You Feel, Say What You Would Normally Do, Say The Truth, and Make a Different Behavioral

Choice.

The fourth and final phase of healing is Creating Intimacy.

As partners become proficient in transitioning from the Pain Cycle to the Peace Cycle and

they make the, they take the fourth step of rewiring the brain, of making a different

behavioral choice, it creates the opportunity for intimacy and bonding.

When the couple is emotionally regulated, the individuals are now free to explore new

options to create intimacy and to build positive pathways in the brain.

This doesn't mean that we won't revert back to the Pain Cycle.

In fact, we will many times as we are working to build a more loving, just and balanced relationship.

I have gone through these cycles many times in my own relationship, and still do from time

to time.

But the key is that now we have these skills and awareness to transition from the Pain

Cycle to the Peace Cycle, and every time we do, we do it together as a couple, and we

grow and we develop intimacy.

I have also gone through that initial euphoria and obsession of being in love.

It's exciting, intoxicating and fun.

But when that initial euphoria settled, I was still deeply in love, more so at every

turn because I made a commitment to a beautiful person I see as my soulmate.

And in the first few years of our relationship as we were getting to know each other, sometimes

it was rough, but we always figured it out.

And for the last two years we've had these tools to help our marriage, and every time

we dig deep into ourselves, our relationship blossoms and flourishes.

If during those early years, our marriage was a diamond in the rough, today it's a

shiny, polished diamond.

Nothing can scratch it, nothing can break it, except itself.

Whether the diamond of your relationship breaks or endures, is up to you.

A ring is the embodiment of a promise.

A commitment of the heart to love another human being.

In the immortal words of Stephen Covey, love is a verb.

Love doesn't just happen because you walk down the aisle or wait at the altar.

Love happens because you make it happen.

To be able to give you need to believe that you are worthy to love and to be loved.

Love means having the humility to know you can always get better, to know you can improve

your relationship by improving yourself.

There are so many books out there catering to The Personality Ethic.

In researching to make this video, I read one such book, catchy title, catchy concept,

bestseller.

I was so frustrated because it was so on the surface.

The kind of book that gathers dust on the shelves after the initial excitement of following

it's catchy concept.

If we want to have happy, loving, and successful relationships we can't live on the surface,

we have to dig deep within ourselves.

Thin books with big letters and catchy concepts don't always dig deep, even if they mean

well and are sometimes helpful after we've done the real work.

I can only recommend books where at the time of reading them I sense a deep level of integrity

from the author to the subject matter they're addressing, and when the knowledge changes

my life and continues to change it.

The bond we can have with another human being, whether it's the committed and loving relationship

with a spouse or significant other, or the timeless relationship between family and friends:

these are the most precious diamonds to be treasured.

In order for these to be the brightest, the most polished, the highest quality diamonds,

we ourselves have to shine.

When we have a truly loving and effective relationship what we're doing is sharing

our souls with another human being, and that allows to grow more than anything else.

Because loving means looking within ourselves, working to get that polish.

It takes and incredible amount of courage, but it's so worth it.

If you enjoyed this video, please like it an share it.

And consider subscribing so you can get the latest Happy Now Olivia! video.

In addition I'd love to hear in the comments below how working on yourself has affected

your relationships.

Remember, happiness is an active choice.

You don't have to wait.

You, too, can be Happy Now!

Thanks for watching.

See you next time.

For more infomation >> Love & Relationships: How you can achieve love and successful relationships - Duration: 40:52.

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SAINTE VERONIQUE ... ATTENTAT, WHAT THE CATHOLICS THINK ... - Duration: 3:23.

I hear a lot this sentence: "I am an atheist ... and I am tolerant ... I

respect all religions »The Bible clearly says that we are not in between

the two ... we are either for or against God ... moreover, often when we talk about

condom, homosexuality, women's priests, or the war of religion

... we see right away that they are against and sometimes the tone goes up ... the word "tolerance"

is very fashionable, it dates from the "sidaction" and of "marriage for all" ... but all that is

not too much of our problem ... it's a problem from the government and the church ... we

we are asked our opinion we give it ... and then we all love the world and we pray with

the heart ... a term also we hear often it is: "you have to live with your

time, "so if humanity makes a mistake we can not say anything else ... otherwise

we are considered nerdy and alive in the past …

I want to say open your eyes ... the attacks are French ... who have

was at school in France ... who have been the friends of your children ... who have

been educated by France ... often their families were welcomed by France,

France gave them an education, a roof, a car a TV, friends, a

better future ... and France failed ... there is something wrong

in our country …

I think it's the absence of God ... the lack of religious education

... some fragile people need God ... and if we do not offer them they will get it

elsewhere …

Saint Véronique ..

On the occasion of Lent, to the Philippines a image of Jesus and the Virgin Mary as well

that the statue of Saint Veronica were seen crying blood in April

2017 in Cebu.

Val Sandiego, the owner, a Catholic, said he was on the road with his family

when their maid called and told him that the statue shed tears of blood.

According to the Bible, Saint Véronique is the woman who wiped the face of Jesus Christ then

that he was on his way to cross

Val claimed that the statue was 130 years old and belonged to his great-grandparents.

The parish priest of the local parish saw the photos but has not yet made a statement.

You liked this video, ... by following the link in the white box ... you can

see other video and in the red zone ... the last video

Do not forget to subscribe ... by following the red arrow ...

For more infomation >> SAINTE VERONIQUE ... ATTENTAT, WHAT THE CATHOLICS THINK ... - Duration: 3:23.

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😟ACTA 2.0 - NADCHODZI KONIEC INTERNETU - UDOSTĘPNIJ 😟 ENG. SUB. - Duration: 1:36.

I welcome you very warmly.

I welcome you very warmly.

On this side, Patryk "Taksi ZRT" Malinowski.

Welcome to the next video on my channel.

It will be quite specific material because

we'll talk about politics today.

This will be a very serious topic, which is why

do not forget to leave your paws up, share

this video on your facebook

and wherever it is possible.

Let the show begin...

Ladies and gentlemen, citizens,

countrymen,

dear children and dear parents...

Today's internet, our internet

is threatened.

The European Union is planning to introduce a law,

which the mainly goal is to censor the internet,

but you've heard it from all youtubers,

because everyone has to record a video about it.

That is why I would like to introduce my position

on this issue:

I HAVE THIS FUCKING DEEP IN POINT.

Thank you for your attention, see you...

For more infomation >> 😟ACTA 2.0 - NADCHODZI KONIEC INTERNETU - UDOSTĘPNIJ 😟 ENG. SUB. - Duration: 1:36.

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PJ Masks Toys Nighttime Adventures Rev N Rumblers Race Track Playset Toys R Us Toys Catboy Gekko Car - Duration: 8:18.

Fuzzy Kiwi TV

Hi Everyone!

Today we are going to be playing with the PJ Masks Nighttime Adventures Rev-N-Rumblers Track playset!

I Can't wait! This looks like so much fun!

Cool! This track Glows in the dark!

You can only buy this track at Toy R Us.

This track playset comes with two Rumbler cars.

The Cat-car and Romeo's Lab Truck.

Are you ready to put this track together?

Here we go!

There, now the race track is complete.

Here are the four Rumbler cars you can get for this playset.

We have Cat Boys Cat-car.

Romeo's Lab Truck.

Owlettes Owl Glider.

...And Gekko's Gekko mobile.

Let me show you some of the components to this track.

Here is Luna Girl!

When you move the lever, it opens the bridge to a secret passage.

Here is Night Ninja with his crew of Ninjalinos.

When you push them down, they jump back up once the cars drive over this bump on the road.

This is one of two Night Ninja Flags.

They look Super Cool!

...Then we have some sticky Splats on the road.

There's five in total.

This is where the race starts!

You put both cars on the starting point.

Then you lift these flaps to make sure they are both starting at the same point.

Then you press this yellow button for take off.

There goes Gekko!

If the car doesn't take off just give it a good shake and that will start the engine.

Let's get them all going here.

Super Cool!

Ooops! Looks like there is a traffic Jam!

Oh! Another Traffic Jam!

That was super fun to watch them all go at the same time.

Lets do some races now.

Lets do Gekko VS. Romeo.

On your mark, get set, GO!!!

Super Cool!

Now lets do Owlette VS. Cat Boy.

On your mark, get set, GO!!!

Lets pull this lever and see what happens!

OH NO! Owlette Flew off the track!!!

Super FUN!!!

"I want a rematch, my car flew off last time"

"Alright Owlette, Lets do a rematch!"

Lets shake them to get their engines started.

On your mark, Get Set, Go!!!...just kidding...GO!!!

Super Awesome!!!

Next lets race Romeo VS. Cat Boy.

"Here is my chance to beat Cat Boy!"

"Romeo doesn't stand a chance against the Cat-Car. I'm way faster!"

Lets shake them to start their engines.

On your mark, Get Set, GO!!!

WOW!!! They pretty much stopped at the exact same time!

It's a tie!

For the last race of the day we have Gekko VS. Romeo.

Hahaha...I stole Lionel from Gekko! Lets see how good he does without his lucky charm!

Hey Romeo, give me back Lionel! You know I can't race without him. Didn't anyone ever teach you not to take things that aren't yours?

This isn't good!

Lets start their engines!

On your mark, Get Set, GO!!!

"My car won't start!"

Ouch! That's gotta hurt!

That was humiliating!

"Can I have Lionel back now?"

"Alright, it felt good to beat you!"

"Lets go home Lionel, don't ever leave me again!"

Thanks for watching friends! Let me know which race car was your favorite in the comments below.

Thanks! BYE!!!

Please subscribe if you like this video and give us a thumbs up!

See you on the next video!

For more infomation >> PJ Masks Toys Nighttime Adventures Rev N Rumblers Race Track Playset Toys R Us Toys Catboy Gekko Car - Duration: 8:18.

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(OFFICIAL) Shared Bonds - Prologue - Duration: 4:08.

At this point its almost Highway Robbery.

Orvelo Hm?

You've got one more going out!

And I can already tell.

Today is gonna be a good day.

Normally, couriers don't make that much.

But, when you're the best in the business.

You make all the money you need.

What do you mean, you dont have MY package!?

(Look sis, I got a package!) I'm sorry, its just not here

(A present? What's inside it?)

(You think I'm going to believe that?!) (Sigh)

But, some aren't so fortunate.

(This is so fun!) (That's so cool) (Dude! No fair) Haha hey!

Here you are ma'am. Thank you so much for the delivery (Grandma, is that a rug or a carpet?)

(No problem) Oh, thank you! I've been looking forward to this book all week.

While others,

Are a little too fortunate.

Ah!

So you've come to deliver my Amulet?

Of course!

Sign here.

(Blood?!)

Uh, here.

I've got my own.

Uh, there doesn't seem to be a package for you.

Bull!

(Gasp)

(Growl)

AFTER HIM!

This isn't like me.

And to think, the day started off so well.

(Gasp)

Time to give us, the Amulet.

I don't have it.

Your mistake.

But.

He.

Was wrong.

(Thank you)

It was my purpose.

Thank you!

Where is it now?

A girl, it was uh a girl

For more infomation >> (OFFICIAL) Shared Bonds - Prologue - Duration: 4:08.

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Love & Relationships: How you can achieve love and successful relationships - Duration: 40:52.

Hi, welcome to Happy Now Olivia!

A channel dedicated to the pursuit of happiness, because you don't have to wait.

You can be happy now.

I'm Olivia.

Today I'm going to talk about Love and Relationships, the subject of timeless art, literature and

music.

We all want to love and to be loved, but most problems in modern society come from neglecting

the first part of that sentence.

Actively loving someone versus just wanting to be loved.

If you've watched my Intro video, you know that I was searching for happiness for a long

time.

Part of that search included desperately trying to find love.

I looked outside of myself and gave everything I had to give to all the wrong people.

I neglected the most important person, myself.

In order to know and love someone else, we have to know and love ourselves.

We've heard this before and it may sound trite, but it's true.

In todays world there are a thousand distractions at every turn.

If we haven't learned to focus our attention to the deepest parts of who we are, this concept

may be difficult to accept, or we may be convinced we know who we are and what we want.

When we are in a close relationship with someone, two things happen.

The best of us comes out, but also the worst of us comes out and that is one of the greatest

opportunities for personal growth.

When the little things and sometimes the big things that aren't the most polished or

the prettiest come out, love, commitment and understanding play their greatest roles in

helping us to grow and to look within ourselves to get better.

The result is a deep, wonderful, and honest connection with another human being.

In order to address the subject of how to achieve love and successful relationships

I'm going to go back to two of my favorite books, "Restoration Therapy" by Terry Hargrave

and Franz Pfitzer and "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey.

With Restoration Therapy the goal is to restore the elements of human existence that most

often cause relational and individual brokenness.

The human need to find relationships, to develop relationships is innate.

We can't form identity, knowledge of the self, or even our personalities without

the context of another.

We don't reflect ourselves.

We see and learn about ourselves through the context and reflection of relationships.

Relationships demand that one individual give to another.

As a result of the giving, this individual is entitled to receive something.

These two facts make humans interdependent.

Interdependence is the healthy expression of a allowing the desire for relationships

when there is a consistency we can rely on that allows us to trust and move towards

an exchange of love and intimacy.

That predictability and trust allows to move into deeper and deeper levels of interaction.

So what happens when a partner in a relationship is irresponsible?

Who will be responsible for the giving the other in the relationship needs?

Many people who are in relationships with irresponsible people become isolated because

of the hopelessness that the other partner will not meet their needs, or they become

over responsible trying to meet their own needs.

We can't receive from ourselves the giving that must come from another.

Responsibility in a relationship belongs to two people, and it means to give responsibly

in a way that is reliable.

But human beings are not totally reliable.

Even in the best of relationships and in the best of circumstances, with the best of intentions

partners can't be totally predictable.

How much unpredictability can a relationship handle?

According to Hargrave and Pfizer, clinically, partners in a relationship need a consistency

rate of about 85% to 90%.

Predictability doesn't mean perfection, but partners have to be consistent in giving

or they will be forced into a position of questioning safety and trustworthiness.

An aspect of trustworthiness that is key in relationships is Justice or Balance.

In a horizontal relationships between equals such as spouses, each is entitled to give

and each is entitled to receive equally.

Picture a ledger where on the left someone is entitled to receive respect, care and intimacy.

On the right they're obligated to give respect, care and intimacy.

This is just a partial list of what spouses and people in relationships give and take.

Each relationship's individual ledger may be different in terms of specifics.

For example in some relationships one person is more responsible for providing income to

the family, the other may be responsible to provide more care and nurturing to the household.

If the individuals feel that the give and take is balanced, they will feel that the

relationship is fair, and that there is justice in the give and take.

It's important to remember that the give and take in a relationship does not to be

exact at any given moment.

Sometimes someone gives more than they receive in a relationship, or they receive more than

they give.

As long as these times oscillate appropriately between partners, so that the give and take

is balanced over a period of time, trustworthiness can be achieved.

The point is to maintain long-term balance in relationships.

In order to illustrate a practical way of how to achieve trust and balance in relationships,

I'm going to go over Stephen Covey's fantastic concept of the emotional bank account.

With a financial bank account we make deposits to build up a reserve from which we can make

withdrawals when we need too.

An emotional bank account is a metaphor for the amount of trust that's been built in

a relationship.

For example, if I make deposits into an emotional bank account with you through kindnesses,

honesty and keeping promises, I build up a reserve.

Your trust toward me becomes higher, and I can call upon that trust many times if I need to.

I can even make mistakes and that high trust account, that emotional reserve will compensate

for it.

When the trust account is high communication is easy, instant and effective.

But if I have a habit of showing discourtesy, disrespect, cutting you off, ignoring you,

becoming arbitrary, betraying your trust and threatening you, my emotional bank account

is overdrawn.

The trust levels are very low and I have no flexibility.

I have to watch everything I say, be careful about everything I say.

The tension in the air is palpable.

Marriage is the most intimate, potentially rich, joyful, satisfying, and productive relationship

possible between two people.

Our most constant relationships require our most constant deposits.

We've all run into friends from the past we haven't seen for years and we can pick

up right where we left off, because earlier deposits are still there.

But our accounts with the people we interact with on a regular basis need a more constant

investment.

Stephen Covey outlines 6 major deposits we can do to build an emotional bank account that

will yield a lifetime of love and trust interest.

The first deposit we can make is Understanding the Individual.

Really seeking to understand another person is probably the most important deposit you

can make and the key to every other deposit.

We really don't know what constitutes a deposit to someone else unless we truly know

and understand that person.

What may constitute a deposit to you: going for a walk to talk things over, going out

for ice cream together, doing a project together, may not be perceived as a deposit

by someone else.

In fact, it might even be perceived as a withdrawal if it doesn't address that person's deep

interests or needs.

To make a deposit, what is important to someone else must be as important to you as that person

is to you.

We tend to project out of our own autobiographies what we think other people want or need.

The second deposit we can make towards having a successful relationship is Attending to

the Little Things.

Little kindnesses and courtesies are so important.

Small unkindnesses and discourtesies or forms of disrespect make major withdrawals.

In relationships the little things are the big things.

Third, Keeping Commitments.

Keeping a commitment or a promise is a major deposit.

Breaking one is a major withdrawal.

There's probably not a more massive withdrawal you can make than to make a promise that matters,

that means something to someone and not come through.

Fourth, Clarifying Expectations.

Most relationship difficulties are rooted in conflicting and ambiguous expectations

around roles and goals.

Unclear expectations lead to misunderstandings, disappointments and withdrawals of trust.

Expectations may be implicit.

They haven't been explicitly stated or announced, but people nonetheless bring them into a particular

situation.

Even if they haven't been discussed or the person who has isn't even aware of it,

fulfilling them makes deposits, violating them makes withdrawals.

That's why it's so important whenever you come into a new situation to lay out on

the table all the expectations explicitly and clearly.

The fifth deposit we can make is to Show Personal Integrity.

Personal Integrity generates trust and it's the basis for many other deposits.

A lack of integrity undermines almost every other effort to build high trust accounts.

Integrity includes but goes beyond honesty.

Honesty is telling the truth, conforming our words to reality.

Integrity is conforming reality to our words: keeping promises and fulfilling expectations.

One of the most important ways we can manifest integrity is to be loyal to those who are

not present.

In doing so, we gain the trust of those who are present.

Integrity is an interdependent reality where we treat everyone by the same set of principles.

Many people would prefer to take the course of least resistance, belittling and criticizing,

betraying confidences, and gossiping about people behind their backs.

Integrity also means avoiding any conversation that is deceptive and beneath the dignity

of people.

The sixth and final deposit we can make is To Apologize Sincerely.

A person must have a deep level of security in order to apologize genuinely.

People with little internal security can't do it.

It makes them too vulnerable.

They feel it makes them appear soft and weak.

Their worth comes from the opinions of other people and they worry what others might think.

They usually feel justified in what they did and they rationalize their own wrongdoing.

If they apologize at all, it's insincere.

Sincere apologies make deposits, repeated apologies interpreted as insincere make withdrawals.

When we make deposits of unconditional love with people, we help them to feel safe, secure,

validated and affirmed in their sense of worth, identity and integrity.

One of, another aspect of trustworthiness that is key in relationships is Openness.

When we are open about our flaws we acknowledge areas of deficiency.

It makes us more likely to use that openness to address shortcomings and to grow.

Being open about flaws without addressing shortcomings demands that the other partner

simply adjust, and live as if the problem doesn't exist, or can't be solved.

Openness doesn't mean, it's not about saying "This is the way I am, and in order

to be with me you have to take me as I am."

It means "This is what I see in myself and I believe I can be better."

When openness points toward growth, our imperfections and our partner's actually pull us closely

into a more intimate bond.

Openness also provides an opportunity to demonstrate vulnerability.

When we share what we think about a particular subject or that partner in a relationship,

we invite the other to do the same.

Our thoughts and emotions in many ways are the things that are the most important and

the deepest to us.

When we share these openly and vulnerably in relationships we're sharing the deepest

parts of who we are.

There are two ways in which people are not open in relationships.

The first is misrepresentation and lying.

When someone is intentionally deceptive in a relationship, the discovery is particularly

painful to the other individual because their thoughts, feeling and reality turned out to

be false, and they're left wondering if anything in the relationship was real or true.

Another way lying is painful is that vulnerability and openness were openly given with nothing

given in return.

The second way people are not open in relationships is to become distant or secretive which results

in an intimacy standstill.

There is little interaction between partners as they each drift further and further away

into their own individuality.

There is no intimacy or vulnerability.

There has been much interest in psychology about the unconscious and seeking relationships

to correct or fulfill a need, desire or relationship from the past.

For example, a man marries a woman just like his mother or ex-wife.

Some of these theories are valid in terms of motivations, unconscious urges and felt

obligations, but Hargrave and Pfitzer's basic premise of the Restoration Therapy model

is that human beings seek relationships not so much because they mimic the behavior and

relationships with our past and our caregivers, but because they need them to form a sense

of identity and safety.

Human beings are built to seek relationships and for those relationships to be

trustworthy, balanced and fulfilled.

Unfulfilled and unmet needs in relationships resemble unfulfilled and unmet needs with

our primary caregiving relationships, because relationships in general bring out those needs

that are related to love and trustworthiness.

That's why relationships provide us with an incredible opportunity to grow.

Because we can choose to face ourselves and our past in order to find love, peace and

balance in the present.

It's not okay for an individual to seek from their spouse or child the love and nurturing

they did not get from a parent.

However, it's normal for those primary emotions surrounding the past to come up in relationships

in the present.

I go over in detail how a lack of love and trustworthiness affects our behavior and personality

at an individual level and how to get better in my Therapy video.

There are two patterns found in relationships: complimentary and symmetrical.

In complimentary relationships, the patterns of the partners tend to be at opposite extremes.

If one partner is dominant, the other may be submissive.

If one is assertive, assertive, the other may be avoidant.

Behavior in the relationships remains fairly stable because both partners in the relationship

are doing and feeling something different than the other.

In symmetrical relationships the patterns of the partners tend to be of the same nature.

If one is blaming, the other is blaming.

If one is controlling, the other is controlling too.

Intensity and feelings escalate because both partners are doing more of the same behavior.

Complimentary relationships can work well if the focus is constructive, appropriate,

loving and trustworthy.

For example, a parent feels loved, fulfilled and optimistic, therefore parents their child

in an authoritative, instructive and involved manner.

In turn, the child feels loved, competent and not alone, is submissive to the direction

of the parent, cooperative in instruction and intimate and open.

Likewise symmetrical relationships can work well and be positive if the focus of the intensity

and escalation are in a loving and trustworthy direction.

For example, lovers interested in demonstrating love to one another, in spending more quality

time with one another.

They might reciprocate with increasing number of gifts, conversations and activities that

continue to reinforce that care and nurturing in the relationship.

In both patterns if there is a question of safety and identity, it can make the partners

agitated and frustrated and the relationship itself can reinforce unloving and untrustworthy

feelings present in each partner's past.

How an individual reacts from relationship to relationship and setting to setting is

fairly constant.

I'm going to go over some of the destructive patterns that develop in relationships, but

if you want to know more about everything I'm talking about I highly recommend

"Restoration Therapy" and "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People."

As always I link below the video everything I recommend and additional information.

One of the destructive patterns that can develop in relationships is the Pursuer/Distancer Pattern

where partners in a relationship have distinct and differing needs with the Pursuer

desiring a more close, emotionally enmeshing relationship, while the Distancer values autonomy

and individuality more.

The Pursuer may have a difficult time holding on to a consistent sense of self without having

someone to reassure them of love and affection.

They feel alone and unwanted and act needy or try to manipulate the partner toward more intimacy

The Distancer feels unsafe as a result of the neediness and manipulation feeling that

the Pursuer will never be happy with his or her efforts or actions, and feeling hopeless

to meet the Pursuer's needs.

They will cope by using Escape/Chaos behaviors and avoid that partner.

Next another destructive pattern is the Overfunctioner/Underfunctioner Pattern.

In this pattern partners are feeling threatened by, in terms of safety and trustworthiness,

and they react towards two extremes of Control Behaviors, the Overfunctioner, and Escape/Chaos

behaviors, the Underfunctioner.

For example, the Overfunctioner feels betrayed or used, and they act in a critical and judgmental way.

The Underfunctioner feels disconnected and guilty and shames themselves, using Escape/Chaos

behaviors and withdraws to avoid those feelings.

Another destructive pattern is the Blamer/Placater pattern.

In this pattern partners are usually feeling pressure or pain in terms of dentity and feeling unloved

The Blamer blames because they feel alone, insignificant and unappreciated.

The Placater copes by shaming themselves as they feel worthless, defective and hopeless.

The Blamer is angry, arrogant and aggressive, the Placater anxious, needy, and depressed.

As this pattern develops it almost always comes to be at least emotionally abusive of

the Placater and usually develops into physical and sexual violence.

Marriage can be the most intimate, satisfying and enduring of human relationships so it

may seem natural and even proper to be centered on your spouse, or significant other.

But when Stephen Covey worked with troubled marriages, he observed than in almost every

spouse-centered relationships there was a strong thread of emotional dependence.

When our sense of worth comes primarily from our marriage and not ourselves we become highly

dependant on the moods, behaviors, and treatment of our spouse or partner in a relationship

and to any external event that may impinge on that relationship: a new child, economic

setbacks, in-laws, social successes and so forth.

When responsibilities and stressors come into the marriage, the spouse centered relationship

reveals all it's vulnerability.

Some people seek therapy to change that spouse or person in a relationship because they need

someone to be or behave differently in order to feel okay about themselves and feel safe in the relationship.

This strategy leads nowhere, because when it comes to relationships deteriorating it's

never just one person's fault and the person seeking to change that someone else without

seeing themselves as an object of change is missing the big picture.

Sometimes it's true that the other person needs to change.

Most of these relationships are with violent, victimizing or highly irresponsible people,

but the truth remains that change must be focused on ourselves, because it's not possible

to change someone else.

We can only change ourselves.

To do this requires and incredible amount of proactivity.

To be proactive is Stephen Covey's first habit in his "7 Habit of Highly Effective People."

I go over all habits in my 7 Habits video.

But the 7 habits are a principle centered, character based inside out approach.

Meaning that in order to grow and change you have to look at the most inside part of yourself first.

If you want to have a happy, loving and successful relationship then be the kind of person that

generates positive energy and sidesteps negative energy rather than empowering it.

If you want a more pleasant and cooperative teenager then be a more understanding, empathetic,

consistent and loving parent.

If you want more freedom and latitude in your job, then be a more helpful, contributing,

and responsible employee.

If you want to be trusted, then be trustworthy.

If you want the secondary greatness of recognized talent then focus first on the primary greatness

of character.

If we use what Stephen Covey called The Personality Ethic, superficial influence strategies and

techniques to get other people to do what we want, to work better, to be more motivated,

to like us more, while our character remains fundamentally flawed, marked with duplicity

and insincerity then in the long run we can't be successful with others or at life.

In an artificial social system like a school you may be able to get by if you learn to

manipulate the man-made rules and how to play the game.

In most one-shot, short-lived human interactions, you can use the personality ethic to make

a favorable impression by using charm, skill and pretending to like other people's hobbies.

Many people with secondary greatness, that is social recognition for their talents, lack

primary greatness and goodness in their character.

Sooner or later you'll see this in every long-term relationship they have whether it's

with a spouse, a work associate, a friend or a teenager going through an identity crisis.

When it comes to relationships there are no shortcuts.

There is no way to parachute into this terrain.

The landscape ahead is covered with the fragments of broken relationships of people who have

tried to jump into effective relationships without the maturity or strength of character

to maintain them.

You have to walk the road.

You can't be successful with others if you haven't paid the price of success with yourself.

So what happens if there is a problem in our intimate relationships?

When a couple falls in love, they come together and many marry because they're intoxicated

with that initial euphoria of love, but within a matter of months or years

they can't stand each other.

Many are absolutely convinced the other partner is their enemy.

How did this couple who were once so in love lose one another to become distant and emotionally

disillusioned?

Many couples lose themselves because of their differences in relationship focus.

Many people come into relationships expecting the other partner to give them emotional fulfillment

and happiness.

What they often find is someone who triggers them emotionally and creates many questions

around safety and identity.

Instead of safe they feel insecure.

Instead of loved they feel unloved, unwanted and alone.

Many people who go into relationships looking for this type of emotional fulfillment and

happiness are actually missing the point of what relationships do in general.

Relationships, especially deep mating, family relationships, force us toward growth to deal

with the deepest parts of ourselves in terms of learning who we are and how to be more

capable and powerful in a world that is not always safe.

As much as we would like it to be so, a partner is not built to give us our identity or to

protect us in an unsafe world.

There was but, There is but one time in our lives when that is programmed into us and

is in the vertical relationship between caregiver and child.

What we have in a horizontal relationship of coupling is the opportunity to walk together,

to share, to struggle and to grow.

As individuals we must be responsible for our own sense of self and our own power or

we cannot couple.

Relationships are not meant to make us happy, they're meant to make us grow.

Partnering through marriage is not just two people who commit to sharing life together

and standing by one another.

They actually create something new because of their relationship.

Hargrave and Pfitzer call it the "Us-ness."

The wonderful quality of this "Us-ness" is that it's neither you nor me.

The relationship contains both individuals and is more than the sum of their individual parts

Even though the relationship is invisible, it does have visible parts that are identifiable

and, that are dynamic and visible.

Us-ness has it's own personality, likes and dislikes.

For example, my wife likes hiking.

I don't particularly.

However, our Us-ness likes hiking.

I don't mean that because my wife likes hiking, I submit to her wishes and go hiking.

I mean that when we go hiking together, the experience of being in nature, of challenging

ourselves physically, and of, of spending quality time with one another is part of who

we are.

Our Us-ness likes hiking, although I would never choose to do it on my own.

In the same way that children are similar to their parents, us-ness is similar to the

partners, but it's representative of it's own identity.

Parents take care of themselves individually, but usually put the best interests of the

child first.

Taking care of a couple relationship is much like taking care of a child.

It doesn't mean that the individuals are inattentive to their own needs, but they recognize

that they also have a responsibility toward the care and nurturing of the relationship.

Just as parents grow as they learn how to raise a child, partners inevitably grow as

they give love and trustworthiness to their us-ness.

If partners learn how to manage the heart of their own conflicts, they will be in a much better position

to look out for the best interests of their us-ness and achieve closeness and intimacy.

In the Restoration Therapy model, Hargrave and Pfitzer have developed 4 phases of healing

that excel in helping couples manage their conflict successfully and arrive at intimacy.

The first phase is Understanding the Pain Cycle.

We must understand the emotional components that drive instability in a relationship.

A couple doesn't have, 10, 20, or 30 disagreements even though they may fight about various things

like parenting, financing or friends.

A couple doesn't have 20 fights in one month, they have one fight 20 different times.

In the Restoration Therapy book, Hargrave and Pfitzer go in the depth into the 4 phases

of healing.

In the first phase of Identifying The Pain Cycle as you learn to identify your own issues,

individual issues surrounding identity and safety, you begin to identify yours and your

partner's coping mechanisms and reactivity.

For example, if we have a couple where the husband feels unloved and shames himself.

The wife feels unsafe and fearful and begins controlling.

Then the husband feels alone and acts invulnerable.

Then the wife feels out of control and begins to act in a perfectionistic manner.

Then then husband feels like he can't measure up and withdraws to defend.

Then the wife acts, the wife feels vulnerable and begins to act in a nagging and judgmental way.

And the destructive cycle repeats itself.

Once you figure out what your particular, what the particular pain cycle in your relationship

is, the second phase of healing is the Peace Cycle, is Understanding the Peace Cycle, Identifying

the Peace Cycle.

In this cycle we identify primary emotions and behaviors that are anchored in love and

trustworthiness like nurturing, self-valuing, balanced give and take, and reliable connecting.

The more we replace the negative behaviors and emotions with positive ones, the more

the individuals feel loved and that the relationship is trustworthy.

The third phase of healing is Moving to Transition.

Even if you identify the pain cycle and the peace cycle, transitioning is a significant

challenge.

It requires constant repetition and rewiring and working to rewire the neural pathways

in the brain.

I go over how to do this in my Therapy video, but the 4 steps to rewire the brain are to

Say What You Feel, Say What You Would Normally Do, Say The Truth, and Make a Different Behavioral

Choice.

The fourth and final phase of healing is Creating Intimacy.

As partners become proficient in transitioning from the Pain Cycle to the Peace Cycle and

they make the, they take the fourth step of rewiring the brain, of making a different

behavioral choice, it creates the opportunity for intimacy and bonding.

When the couple is emotionally regulated, the individuals are now free to explore new

options to create intimacy and to build positive pathways in the brain.

This doesn't mean that we won't revert back to the Pain Cycle.

In fact, we will many times as we are working to build a more loving, just and balanced relationship.

I have gone through these cycles many times in my own relationship, and still do from time

to time.

But the key is that now we have these skills and awareness to transition from the Pain

Cycle to the Peace Cycle, and every time we do, we do it together as a couple, and we

grow and we develop intimacy.

I have also gone through that initial euphoria and obsession of being in love.

It's exciting, intoxicating and fun.

But when that initial euphoria settled, I was still deeply in love, more so at every

turn because I made a commitment to a beautiful person I see as my soulmate.

And in the first few years of our relationship as we were getting to know each other, sometimes

it was rough, but we always figured it out.

And for the last two years we've had these tools to help our marriage, and every time

we dig deep into ourselves, our relationship blossoms and flourishes.

If during those early years, our marriage was a diamond in the rough, today it's a

shiny, polished diamond.

Nothing can scratch it, nothing can break it, except itself.

Whether the diamond of your relationship breaks or endures, is up to you.

A ring is the embodiment of a promise.

A commitment of the heart to love another human being.

In the immortal words of Stephen Covey, love is a verb.

Love doesn't just happen because you walk down the aisle or wait at the altar.

Love happens because you make it happen.

To be able to give you need to believe that you are worthy to love and to be loved.

Love means having the humility to know you can always get better, to know you can improve

your relationship by improving yourself.

There are so many books out there catering to The Personality Ethic.

In researching to make this video, I read one such book, catchy title, catchy concept,

bestseller.

I was so frustrated because it was so on the surface.

The kind of book that gathers dust on the shelves after the initial excitement of following

it's catchy concept.

If we want to have happy, loving, and successful relationships we can't live on the surface,

we have to dig deep within ourselves.

Thin books with big letters and catchy concepts don't always dig deep, even if they mean

well and are sometimes helpful after we've done the real work.

I can only recommend books where at the time of reading them I sense a deep level of integrity

from the author to the subject matter they're addressing, and when the knowledge changes

my life and continues to change it.

The bond we can have with another human being, whether it's the committed and loving relationship

with a spouse or significant other, or the timeless relationship between family and friends:

these are the most precious diamonds to be treasured.

In order for these to be the brightest, the most polished, the highest quality diamonds,

we ourselves have to shine.

When we have a truly loving and effective relationship what we're doing is sharing

our souls with another human being, and that allows to grow more than anything else.

Because loving means looking within ourselves, working to get that polish.

It takes and incredible amount of courage, but it's so worth it.

If you enjoyed this video, please like it an share it.

And consider subscribing so you can get the latest Happy Now Olivia! video.

In addition I'd love to hear in the comments below how working on yourself has affected

your relationships.

Remember, happiness is an active choice.

You don't have to wait.

You, too, can be Happy Now!

Thanks for watching.

See you next time.

For more infomation >> Love & Relationships: How you can achieve love and successful relationships - Duration: 40:52.

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Aiden angry Maria mom cos don't take down from tree | Poor baby cry very loudly | Monkey Daily 1140 - Duration: 10:26.

For more infomation >> Aiden angry Maria mom cos don't take down from tree | Poor baby cry very loudly | Monkey Daily 1140 - Duration: 10:26.

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Don't Forget Your Vitamins Ruth Bader Ginsburg! | TMZ TV - Duration: 1:34.

MR. KEEGAN, NICE TO SEE YOU

ALWAYS.

GOOD TO SEE YOU.

SO WE GOT KEEGAN-MICHAEL KEY

OUT IN BEVERLY HILLS AND WE

ASKED HIM ABOUT SUPREME COURT

JUSTICE ANTHONY KENNEDY

RETIRING.

IS THIS A BIG A DEAL AS

EVERYONE IS MAKING IT TO BE?

I THINK IT IS LIKE THE

SUPREME COURT IS, LIKE YOU SAID,

A LONG LASTING LEGACY.

WE SAID DO YOU THINK ANTHONY

SHOULD HAVE WAITED A LITTLE BIT

TO RETIRE.

A LITTLE LONGER.

A LITTLE LONGER WOULD HAVE

BEEN NICE, RIGHT?

AND HIS WIFE IS OFF CAMERA.

AND AS HE'S TALKING ABOUT IT,

HIS WIFE GOES --

YEAH, NOW WE GOT RUTH TO

WORRY ABOUT.

MY WIFE JUST SAID TELL RUTH

TO TAKE VITAMINS.

BASICALLY IMPLYING WE NEED

HER AROUND.

HARVEY: RUTH BADER GINSBURG.

OF COURSE SHE'S TALKING ABOUT

HER.

SHE'S ANCIENT.

HOW OLD IS SHE?

SHE'S 85.

THAT'S A LOT OF PRESSURE FOR

SOMEONE OF THAT AGE.

HARVEY: AND THEN YOU GO

PSYCHOLOGICALLY, LOOK, 85 IS THE

NEW 40

AND YOU GOT TO CONVINCE HER.

SHE NEEDS LIKE A YOUNG

SIDEPIECE TO KEEP HER YOUNG.

HARVEY: OH, MY GOD, THAT'S THE

WAY YOU STAY YOUNG.

SHE NEEDS AN NBA PLAYER.

HARVEY: SHE NEEDS AN NBA PLAYER.

NOBODY SUPPORTS ROE V. WADE

LIKE AN NBA PLAYER.

LET'S BE REAL.

[LAUGHTER]

I APPRECIATE IT.

THANK YOU, MAN.

TAKE CARE.

For more infomation >> Don't Forget Your Vitamins Ruth Bader Ginsburg! | TMZ TV - Duration: 1:34.

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Toyota Yaris 1.0 16v VVT-i Sol A/T 5-drs + 6 MND BOVAG - Duration: 0:51.

For more infomation >> Toyota Yaris 1.0 16v VVT-i Sol A/T 5-drs + 6 MND BOVAG - Duration: 0:51.

-------------------------------------------

Toyota Corolla 1.8 16v VVTL-i 192 PK T Sport 5-drs + 6 MND BOVAG - Duration: 1:12.

For more infomation >> Toyota Corolla 1.8 16v VVTL-i 192 PK T Sport 5-drs + 6 MND BOVAG - Duration: 1:12.

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Nissan Juke 1.2 DIG-T S/S CONNECT EDITION - Duration: 0:54.

For more infomation >> Nissan Juke 1.2 DIG-T S/S CONNECT EDITION - Duration: 0:54.

-------------------------------------------

Alfa Romeo GT 1.8 T.Spark Progression - LPG - Airco - Duration: 1:07.

For more infomation >> Alfa Romeo GT 1.8 T.Spark Progression - LPG - Airco - Duration: 1:07.

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How To Make Chocolate Cake Decorating Videos - Amazing Chocolate Cakes Decorating Ideas - Duration: 11:12.

How To Make Chocolate Cake Decorating Videos

For more infomation >> How To Make Chocolate Cake Decorating Videos - Amazing Chocolate Cakes Decorating Ideas - Duration: 11:12.

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Trump Staffers Whine That Women In DC Won't Date Them - Duration: 3:07.

According to a new feature article in Politico, Donald Trump's staffers in Washington D.C.

are having a hell of a time finding anyone willing to actually date them.

No Politico spoke with several different staffers for the President, both current and former

people working for the Trump administration, and that all basically told the same story.

They'll meet a woman online, they'll have the usual banter back and forth through these

messaging apps or out at a bar, but as soon as they find out they work for Donald Trump

or that they support Donald Trump, the women are like, "Oh no, screw it.

You're a racist, you're a bigot, you're a misogynist.

I'm not going to deal with you, go away."

That's pretty much exactly what they say in this article that these women are telling

them.

So, heres what I have to say about all that.

First of all, stop blaming your boss, as horrible as he is, for the fact that you can't get

a date.

I'm sorry, I'm just not buying what's in this Politico article.

I think the reason these incels can't get a date is because they're just horrible people

and women are not attracted to that.

It doesn't matter what you look like, as long as you're at least trying to be a good person,

being respectful and not being horrible to anyone else out there, you can find someone,

right?

Sometimes it takes a little harder than some other people have.

But I'm shocked.

I'm still shocked that we're seeing these articles because this is not the first one.

A few months ago another one came out saying, "Oh nobody wants to date these poor Trump

staffers.

And they're so lonely in DC because it's such a liberal city.

And conservatives just can't find anybody willing to love them."

No.

It's because conservatives are horrible people.

And women seem to understand that.

They can look at somebody and kind of gauge by their political beliefs how they feel about

other human beings.

It's not just about them.

It's about everyone.

And that's what these Trump supporters don't get.

They think that, "Oh these women don't want me to date me because I'm a conservative and

they say I'm going to take away their birth control."

One of them in the article actually said that.

No.

It's not taking away her birth control, it's taking away everybody's birth control.

It's not restricting her right to choose what to do with her body, it's everybody's right

to choose what to do with their body.

These men don't understand that, you can't even really call them men.

These little boys with this little boy mentality don't seem to get it.

If these women don't want to date you, it has nothing to do with who you're working

for.

It has everything to do with the kind of person that you are.

Trump can be blamed for a lot of the horrible things happening in this world right now.

But these incels not being able to find a date?

That's all on them.

For more infomation >> Trump Staffers Whine That Women In DC Won't Date Them - Duration: 3:07.

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Arsenal fans have an interesting theory on why Bernd Leno hasn't been allocated a squad number ●#AFC - Duration: 2:22.

Arsenal fans are waiting for the club to announce the German's squad number

Stephan Lichtsteiner will add experience at the back following his free transfer arrival

from Juventus, while Bernd Leno will provide some much-needed competition in goal following

his arrival from Bayer Leverkusen.

One thing for certain is that Leno will not start the campaign with the No.1 shirt after

the Gunners revealed some squad number changes at the end of last month.

Although there are now doubts over his place in the starting XI, Petr Cech has taken on

the No.1 shirt after previously wearing No.33 following his arrival from Chelsea.

Hector Bellerin, Mohamed Elneny, Ainsley Maitland-Niles and Granit Xhaka have also changed their squad

numbers, while Mesut Ozil is widely expected to inherit the No.10 shirt following Jack

Wilshere's decision to end his long association with the Gunners.

It was revealed that Stephan Lichtsteiner will wear the No.12 shirt next season following

his move from Juventus, yet Leno has not been given a number for the 2018/19 season.

Some Arsenal fans believe the reason is actually linked to the future of David Ospina.

With the Gunners set to part ways with a goalkeeper following the arrival of Leno, the Colombian

international looks the one most likely to make way.

Currently the club's No.13, Ospina departing the Emirates would free up the number for

Leno to inherit ahead of the new season.

While second-choice goalkeepers in England traditionally wearing the No.13 jersey, it's

rather different in Leno's homeland with shot-stoppers instead wearing No.12.

Having previously worn No.1 and No.23 at Bayer Leverkusen, Leno also cannot take on those

numbers as Cech and Danny Welbeck are the current owners.

For more infomation >> Arsenal fans have an interesting theory on why Bernd Leno hasn't been allocated a squad number ●#AFC - Duration: 2:22.

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Meghan Markle friends: Are Chloe Madeley and Meghan Markle friends? - Duration: 3:29.

 The TV presenter and fitness guru sent pulses racing when she walked into Harry and Meghan's wedding in May baring her shoulders

 She wore a blush-pink gown with a plunging neckline, which some criticised as too immodest for a church wedding

 The blonde bombshell opened up about the criticism on Lorraine last week, explaining it was a genuine mistake

 Speaking on the talkshow, Chloe admitted being shocked at how upset people got with her bare skin

  She told host Christine Lampard: "The invite said day dress and hat, of course we all know traditionally you have to cover your shoulders in church, I had a jacket with me

 "It was so hot on the coach to the chapel, I was overheating, [my fiance] James said 'Take your jacket off for the walk and put it back on before the church'

 "I took my jacket off, got to the church and thought 'OK where's my jacket?' "James was like, 'I don't know', so I thought OK I'm going in shoulders out

" she continued. "I thought, it's not a big deal, no one will care."  She continued: "But everyone cared! I was getting comments saying 'You're offending the house of the Lord'

 "I was like oh my God! I do not need a religious war but lesson learnt." Are Chloe and Meghan friends? It seems that, in this case, it is not Meghan Markle but Prince Harry who has the friendly the connection

 Chloe Madeley's finance, rugby player James Haskell, is friendly with the newly appointed Duke of Sussex

  Harry, a keen rugby union fan and patron for the Rugby Football Union, invited James and his plus one

 The two men clearly get along, with the pair previously seen joking during an England training session

 Chloe, daughter of former This Morning hosts Richard Madeley and Judy Finnigan, also revealed the reason her own nuptials have to be postponed

 She said: "It's so far away, we can't do it until 2020 because the World Cup is in 2019 and that will take up most of the year

 "Even if James isn't involved, half the guest list will be."  She added: "It's a good thing, maybe we can save some money, change our minds and be a bit more fluid about things

" Chloe and James, 33, got engaged earlier this year after he proposed during a trip to Paris

 Chloe was quick to add that she'll happily repeat her royal wedding blunder for her own big day

 "My shoulders will probably be out at my wedding because I don't think I'll do the long-sleeved thing," she said

For more infomation >> Meghan Markle friends: Are Chloe Madeley and Meghan Markle friends? - Duration: 3:29.

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Woman Sitting Near Twin Babies On Plane Is Stunned When Parents Begin Handing Out Unusual 'Bags' - Duration: 2:51.

SUBSCRIBE TO OUR CHANNEL FOR MORE !

Woman Sitting Near Twin Babies On Plane Is Stunned When Parents Begin Handing Out Unusual

'Bags'

Christina Galese hopped on board the plane for her trip from Newark Liberty International

Airport to Orlando, armed for her flight with her trusty headphones.

You never know if your seatmate is a snorer, a talker or an armrest hog, so she tried to

be prepared.

But Christina definitely wasn't ready for what she encountered on her plane.

In fact, other passengers were quite stunned at what they traipsed across, too.

In one row was seated a dad with his cutie pie 18-month-old daughter perched on his lap.

In an adjacent row was his wife and the little girl's precious twin sister.

Christina noticed numerous passengers briskly walking right on by the two rows where the

wee ones sat, but she didn't.

She shared her story with Love What Matters and said she doesn't mind children and knew

she had a secret weapon anyway -- her headphones.

She climbed over the dad and one of the twins to occupy the window seat in their row.

More and more people walked on by, some glancing disdainfully at the young family.

Oftentimes airline passengers are less than thrilled when pint-sized travelers are on

board their plane.

Especially if they're fussy or loudly crying.

But Christina didn't mind.

Neither apparently did the passenger who sat down between her and the dad cradling the

little girl.

Before their flight taxied down the runway, the mom and dad did something so astonishing

that Christina felt compelled to share their story.

She and the other passengers couldn't believe it!

The parents of the twins stood up and handed out goodie bags to all of the passengers around

them!

The bags contained yummy chocolates and none other than a pair of earplugs.

The accompanying note tucked into the bag read:

"Hello!

Our names are Ashley & Abby.

We're twins, we just turned 18 months and this is our first time on an airplane!

We are heading to FL to see Grandma & Grandpa, and Mommy & Daddy said something about a mouse.

We'll try to keep our cool, but in case we decide to get crazy, we've provided a sweet

treat and some earplugs for your enjoyment.

Thank you for understanding and enjoy your flight!"

Christina said she had never seen a family make such a gesture to fellow passengers on

a confined plane.

Everyone seemed to appreciate their foresight and sweetness.

"Such a thoughtful, simple act of kindness that I am so happy to have experienced."

For the duration of their flight, Christina and the passengers never once needed the earplugs,

although they snuck in a few bites of delicious chocolate.

She described the twins as "the most adorable and well-behaved little girls ever."

Even though kids will be kids and parents shouldn't feel bad about them exhibiting typical

toddler behavior, even on a plane, what these parents did was truly heartwarming.

What a clever and compassionate idea!

If you like our video then do subscribe to our channel.

Please leave us a comment and give a thumbs up.

It means a lot.

Thank You :)

For more infomation >> Woman Sitting Near Twin Babies On Plane Is Stunned When Parents Begin Handing Out Unusual 'Bags' - Duration: 2:51.

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Tips and Tricks - 5 Tips for Dark Souls Remastered - Duration: 5:15.

[XBOX SOUND]

>> With a new FromSoftware title on the horizon,

there's never been a more perfect time

to dive into their catalog of games.

Now the Dark Souls remastered is out.

Those who had a happy childhood with

fond memories of challenging but

fair video games can now understand why

some people buy a new controller

with each Dark Souls release.

So, for the first timers out there

attempting to take on Dark Souls,

we have five tips for you.

Just don't expect these to

stop you from dying all the time.

Tip number one, dodge.

The dodging mechanic in most games simply makes

the character invincible during the animation,

but this isn't how Dark Souls does it.

Dark Souls is purely collision detection.

Meaning, that if a weapon or

attack makes contact with you,

no matter what you're doing,

you're going to take damage.

You'll also need to identify

an opponent's attack to know which direction to dodge.

However, you won't be able to completely rely on dodging.

Watch your stamina.

Dodge only when you need to.

If you dodge too much,

you won't have the stamina to hold a block.

Speaking of blocking, tip number two, blocking.

If you're new to Dark Souls and don't have

a grasp on evading just yet,

then your main defense will be your shield.

But you're no hero of time.

So, your shield isn't going to block everything.

Shielding in Dark Souls relies heavily on your stamina.

Each attack that hits your shield will

drain your stamina and once you're out,

your stance will break leaving

you wide open for an attack.

When defending, you want to make

time for your stamina to recharge.

It may seem smart to keep your shield

up to protect against another attack,

but this will keep your stamina

from recharging in full speed.

Let your shield down when you can.

This will allow your stamina to refill at

a much faster rate and give you

energy to block or dodge the next attack.

However, if you're just exploring,

keep that shield up.

Just because you don't see an enemy,

doesn't mean they don't see you.

Enemies can be hiding anywhere

like on a higher ledge or directly behind a corner.

If you keep your shield up watch traversing,

it may be your best bet at blocking an unseen attack.

Tip number three, parrying.

After playing through an area countless times,

you'll start to learn the enemy's attack patterns.

When you notice an enemy is about to strike,

you can block or dodge it.

But, if you're feeling lucky, you can try to parry.

It's a risky move but if done successfully,

the payoff is huge.

Parrying an attack will knock your opponent off stance,

staggering them for just a second.

But follow this up with an attack

to inflict massive amounts of damage,

potentially, killing them instantly.

This is an easy way to take out tough opponents.

But if you missed the parry,

you'll leave yourself wide

open for the enemies next attack.

So, know the risk and plan accordingly.

Tip number four, lock-on.

Dark Souls has a convenient feature that

allows you to lock onto your opponent.

Which can be a lifesaver if used

properly and the death of the player if used improperly.

When first attacked, you can easily

forget to do this especially,

if it wasn't a planned battle.

But it's difficult to precisely block

an attack or even hit

an opponent if you're not locked onto them.

While locked on, your character will constantly

face the enemy making them the primary focus.

This is perfect for shielding and attacking.

When facing multiple enemies,

you'll be able to switch targets easily.

Just be sure to keep your target on the closest opponent,

only switching when needed.

Tip number five, kindle fire.

Now, Dark Souls is no walk in a park.

You're going to die again, again, and again.

They didn't name a version of the game that prepare

to die edition for nothing, you guys.

But estus flask will keep you going.

These serve as a basic health portion and will

restock to a total of five at every bonfire.

However, on your travels,

you may just find some humanity lying around.

One great use for humanity is to kindle a fire.

If you walk up to a bonfire as a human,

you'll be able to select the option kindle.

This will make the fire burn brighter giving you

10 estus flask instead of the typical five.

These estus flask are

incredibly valuable when dealing with

an area filled with enemies or if

you're heading into a difficult boss fight.

Remember, you can only kindle fire when you're human.

So, if you've died recently,

you'll need to spend humanity to reverse

the hollowing before you can kindle that fire.

Dark Souls isn't and has

never been a series for the faint of heart.

It's brutally challenging and downright unfair at times.

Getting blindsided by enemies and

traps can leave you frustrated,

especially if you were hauling a good number of souls.

But that's the beauty of this game.

The frustration, challenges, and

unfair obstacles all become

worth it as you conquer each of them.

Each boss's defeat feels

like a reward in itself because of

the skills you needed to master and

the sheer determination it took to get through it.

There's no hand holding and there are no tutorials.

But that's where the true fun lies,

as well as the unmasked feeling of accomplishment.

So, we wish you luck on your journey.

May you praise the sun for yet another day.

[XBOX SOUND]

For more infomation >> Tips and Tricks - 5 Tips for Dark Souls Remastered - Duration: 5:15.

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Nightcore - Senpai (Deeper version) - Lyrics - Duration: 2:33.

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Everything I Bought In June 2018 (Post KonMari Method) | June Favourites | Aldi haul - Duration: 11:55.

Time to see what tat I spent a fortune on this month.

I went to Disney World. I went to VidCon.

But very little hit my finances as hard as Aldi.

I am now the proud owner of a whole pile of stuff I didn't even know I needed.

Hurray.

Stick around 'cause I've got lots to show you. Let's go.

[music]

In case you are new here... Hi! I am tracking my spending this year as a way of:

One: Seeing where all my money is going so that I can create a better budget, and

Two: Keeping track of clutter post-Konmari Method.

So we moved into this house about ten months ago and ever since it has just been filling up and up with stuff.

So I track to see how much of that is down to poor decisions on my part.

Spoiler alert: a lot!

I don't include food, utility bills, insurance... any sort of regular living expenses. And I will link everything down below.

Let's get all of the Aldi stuff out of the way, shall we, because that makes up the bulk of my purchases.

I made three or four trips there this month so I'm just gonna lump everything together, show you what I got, and how much it cost.

First, jelly samples for Scout, just for running around splash parks.

And I also got her this Disney activity book. She loves it. Came with all sorts of little princess figures.

And I also got her these two packs of three activity books each.

For Sam I bought him this misting fan because he cannot handle the heat at all. It was part of his Father's Day gift.

For me I bought three of these water bottles. These are exactly what I have been looking for, which is why I bought three of them.

Pretty sturdy glass, they've got the non-slip cover on them, mouth is wide but not too wide, and then it also has this carrying loop.

Plus it's in my favourite colour, so...

I also picked up at this flask so that I can carry water with me when I am traveling because otherwise it would just go all warm and horrible.

I also bought myself these three amigos because I have been sucked into a plant obsession lately.

The glass jars are actually from Dollar Tree. This is how they came.

Then I spotted this strange random thing in the clearance section.

and, truthfully, I could have left it behind but it intrigued me. Haven't tried it yet but I am expecting great things.

For the kind of general household, then, I got two of these big giant rubber tubs, one in yellow, one in black.

The black one is upstairs; I'm using that as a laundry basket.

And this yellow one is going to be used for outdoor toys.

Speaking of the outdoors, and my newfound love for plants, I spotted this tiny little gardening kit.

It was actually the little watering can that attracted me to it because I have been looking for a little small one.

But it also comes with all these handy little tools. It's actually a kid's set but they're pretty sturdy because they're metal.

So yeah, I love this. This was a bargain.

I also bought this galvanised tub. I just thought it was lovely.

Our new house has a big deck out the back so I have, you know, images of us sitting out the back,

this beside us, full of, you know, drinks and snacks. Keeping them cool. I dunno..

I also bought a citrus candle and a pack of citronella candles for, you know, when I am sitting out on that deck

and then the reality of being outside hits me and the insects descend in their droves.

That is the worst thing about warm weather.

A total of $8.50 for these.

And then food storage tubs.

And that's the story of how I single-handedly paid an Aldi employee's wages this month.

OK, not quite, but I did spend about $105 on "unnecessary" stuff at Aldi this month. It is becoming the new Dollar Tree for me.

The next beneficiary of my financial benevolence was... Dollar Tree.

Again, I made several trips this month so I'm just gonna lump them all into one.

The main reason was to refill the tubs that I keep outside.

So I keep getting asked questions about these so, in a nutshell, I keep snacks and drinks outside for delivery workers.

It started just kind of as a holiday thing, around Christmastime when it was snowing and miserably cold,

but I decided to keep it up because it's just a nice thing to do.

It is totally worth the money I spend on it.

I also got this rainbow pinwheel for myself. Just 'cause.

Then I picked up the glass jars that I've already showed you, as well as some packs of stones.

These are to put at the bottom of my plant pots for drainage. I really want to keep these plants alive.

In total, I spent about $38 on all of that stuff.

After that one of our neighbour's kids was rushed to hospital and had to have his appendix out

so I looked after one of her other kids for a bit.

He is really into drawing so, to kind of take his mind off his brother's surgery, I took him to get some new art supplies.

Cost me about $18 but I got a big huge bear hug in return so, again, totally worth it.

Side note: if you are looking for scented markers, because apparently they are "famous" at school,

Dollar Tree, Big Lots, and Staples do not have them. But Target do.

Then we went on holidays. We spent a week in Orlando. My in-laws live there so we were visiting them.

And one of the things we did was we went to the Crayola Experience, which I highly recommend.

$72 for the three of us which, yes, it is quite pricey

but, as a 34-year-old child, I thought it was brilliant.

Scout and I got wax moulds of our hands, and then at the gift shop I picked up one of these Crayola piggy banks.

Can you still call it a piggy bank if it is not in the shape of a piggy? I dunno.

Like, Crayola or crayon bank just doesn't sound right.

And then this cool thing. I actually have no idea what these are called so if you know, enlighten me in the comments.

These actually bring back... well I don't want to say fond memories because I was in hospital at the time

but when I was four I had my tonsils out and in the post-op room the nurse gave me one of these.

Not this exact one but one very similar.

I just remember being so fascinated by it.

I had never seen one before and I was just totally captivated.

and I have been keeping an eye out for one ever since. And Crayola delivered.

I don't know why, because I had never been in hospital before... apart from, you know, being born...

and I was having surgery, but I have nothing but happy memories of that time.

Lots of reading, lots of cool toys, lots of attention, lots of ice cream...

And when I needed to have a little bandaid on my hand, the nurse put one on my teddy bear too.

Now I live in the US where healthcare is, frankly, frightening.

Anyway, Scout got an actual piggy bank – she's saving – and a crayon plushie. Pricey!

Moving on then, after that we went to Disney World.

I didn't know it at the time but my mother-in-law actually paid for that trip.

I knew she had paid for the tickets but I didn't know she had given Sam spending money for us.

And there was I, like, lashing things into my basket like a spoilt child.

Sorry, Aideen, I honestly had no idea.

I obviously won't be including this stuff in my spending total,

but I got this t-shirt. Totally me.

I also got a little L keyring. Cute. And Sleeping Beauty jewelry. For the child in me.

Scout got some stuff too.

At Target I bought Scout a new swimsuit

and one of these fingerling things. I don't know. They're all the rage, apparently.

[switches it on. It start to make noise] Frightening.

Shoes for her too, which she is currently wearing.

When we got back from Florida I went out and bought myself another plant.

This time it was a fiddle leaf fig. I have called it Piglet.

Then it was Amazon's turn. So after the plant extravaganza I bought myself two new plant pots

so that I could re-pot Piglet and Polly in a desperate attempt to keep them alive.

Polly is not doing so well.

I also bought some secateurs to do some pruning, as well as a 3-in-1 soil meter which hasn't arrived yet but hopefully it will tell me why my plants are dying.

And I bought a ring light, which I am currently using right now.

In truth I will probably return it for a larger size.

Then I went to VidCon. What an experience that was!

Most of the money I spent there was on food, which I don't include in these things because I consider them a necessity,

but I did spend about $27 on transport.

In the kind of miscellaneous category, I spent $117 on airport parking,

I spent $50 on a Father's Day present for my dad,

about $45 on a birthday present for a friend,

I spent $25 on a spectator ticket to see Sam and his sister Chloe run the Tough Mudder

(heads up that even just as a spectator it's horrible),

$30 on a domain renewal for a second website I have that I haven't done much with... yet,

and, finally, $470 on another house inspection. We are moving in three weeks!

I did also spend about $2,500 on a new boiler for one of my rental properties in Ireland

and I went back and forth on whether or not I should include it in this list

but ultimately I decided I wouldn't.

Number one, because it was kind of a necessary expense,

and number two, because I was already terrified of how much all of this stuff was going to add up to.

So the grand total, minus the boiler and all the stuff at Disney World that my mother-in-law paid for is...

just under $1,300,

which isn't actually nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be.

Even though I bought a lot of stuff, it was mostly cheap stuff.

And when you break it all down, I only spent about $400 on stuff that is actually in my home.

The rest of it was on stuff like gifts, and experiences, and kind of non-tangible things, and things that can be used up, like the candles.

So not too bad.

Favourites are my plants, this thing from Crayola (whatever it is), my water bottle, and my little gardening set. So cute.

But that is it now, I am done with spending money. Forever.

Or for the foreseeable, at least.

Or until Wednesday when Aldi get in all their new stuff. Damn it!

If you want to save money, I have a short playlist full of my top budgeting tips.

Go check that out right now. And until next time...

Go raibh míle maith agaibh, agus feicfidh mé sibhse go luath. Slán!

[music]

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