My name is Nellie Sung
And I'm
Thirty-nine years old
I was born in
Seoul, South Korea
And I was-
Grew up in
The Twin Cities in Minnesota
I came
When I was
I guess seven-eight months old
And was adopted
By an American family
I have one older sister
Who
I always used to say is
She was homemade
And
So she's not adopted
And
And then they had me
You know I've had these conversations
With my parents, not recently but
When I was older maybe
A teenager or in college and
I guess the school thought back there was just
You know, assimilation, assimilation and so
They were very open minded
About things
But it just wasn't
I just didn't- never really
Felt like I fit in
So I had a
A difficult
Childhood
I didn't have very many friends
For most of
I don't know
Until college
That sounds so bad but
I don't know I think my
My mom one time said that she
Felt like I got off the airplane pissed off
And stayed that way til I was around eighteen
And
I don't think it was because of lack of love
I mean I think that they really
At that point
Did everything
That
They knew how
To try to help me
I mean I will say now
Sort of in retrospect
Since I'm, you know
A grown up so to speak
That
Everything was really focused on
What I could do
Or how
Should I- you know We'll send her to
Counselling or will
Do this for her
But it was never an
Evaluation of the environment
I mean I think my parents really did what-
They absolutely did what they thought was best and
So I went to private Catholic schools
'Cause that's what they did
And I was always the only person of color
You know that was their values and that was
The best education that they could give me at that point
So that's why I went
After highschool
I really wanted to go away to college
And then I ended up staying
So I- we did my undergrad in Minneapolis
And
I did a semester abroad
My senior year
The fall of my senior year I studied at Yonsei University
I think up and til that point like
With all of the challenges that I had socially
I didn't have this desire
To go back to Korea To look for my roots
Like every now and then i would think about it
But I just didn't have this like strong desire
And then
In college I started to become a little bit more curious and
You know a lot of agencies have these like, mass trips
Where you go and spend two weeks
And you go and I just
And maybe that was a way of me not wanting to be like
All the other adopted kids
But I also felt like having
Being there for like half a year would be such
A different experience
You know, as you can imagine it was a very emotional experience
I wanted to love it there so much
And I hated it the first few weeks
I was so hungry, like everything
All the food was just weird and
The only korean food that I really been exposed to was kind of like
The typical
Food that American people like-
Japchae or you know mandoo or
Bulgogi but like I had- everything was just
It was monsoon season it was raining
It was
It was really hard and I
Felt like I really
I was determined to make it work
And I
I don't know why
And I wonder if
Somehow if I went
Came home and had it
Not be a positive experience
That would of been a failed experience but
I really wanted to force myself
To like it
And so I did
And I think after I got over that first
Like three weeks it was
It was really great
And I remember just walking around
And sitting on the subway or the train and
Marveling at how
No one knows that I'm American until I open my mouth
Being able to blend into a crowd for the first time
And just having
I don't know, not sticking out
I really liked it
I mean there were a lot of things that I also didn't like about it
that
Like Korean people are not friendly
And they're not
There's absolutely this stigma
And I know that a lot of kids
Who go back either as kids or adults who are adopted
They don't always feel welcomed
I never was really
Outspoken about
The fact that I was adopted but I never lied about it
Because when I talked about it
And I found that experience to be true too
Why people would feel sorry for you
You know some people would say
Oh it's so great that you came back here
Other people would say
Why would want to come back?
It was just very strange
But I loved it
And I did like
Being there and I think I wanted
I just had such an insatiable desire to fit in
Throughout my childhood
I was gonna make it work
When I was living in Korea
I volunteered at the orphanage that I stayed at
It was wonderful and awful, I guess?
But one of the things that I did
Was I
Came back to the US for a cousin's wedding
And I escorted a baby
To
Be adopted
Being on the plane just holding her
And crying and just sobbing
Because I was so
Scared of
What her life might be like
I was very upset with
Korean people and society
For
For just the whole industry and it very much is an industry
That really like, you people?
How such this warp sense of what family means
That
You're the only developed country that
Has exported children
I felt so much anger at the patriarchal system
So much anger at the society
This society that was like
You know
That didn't welcome me
That sent me away because
There wasn't
A supportive community
For
Korean people to keep their own babies
Yeah there was definitely about that
But it was never directed towards
My mom
So this baby that I brought back
To America
I met
In August for the first time
When are family was in-
That's why I said its kind of like come
To the surface again
We got reacquainted on facebook and I
Saw her
In August, when are family went to Minnesota
How was that experince?
I really liked it
It was really nice
And I was so happy to hear that she's happy
You know everybody has such different experiences
And I was so
scared
That she was gonna have
Have the same experiences that I did
My kids met her, they loved
To meet her she loved
To meet them-
I think what's also
It's very much like a
I think a mutually positive experience
She talks so much how it's been
You know the highlight
Of her year to get to meet me and
I feel like she was just as excited to meet me
As I was excited to meet her
My name is Nellie Sung
And this is my Korean American Story
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