so how do you deal with someone who is biased about something people always
make generalizations and assumptions about a wide range of things based on
just one or two incidents today I'm going to share with you three tips on
how you can deal with biased people super-powerful stuff that will allow you
to make them see things your way so that not only can you close sales you can
negotiate better you can also create powerful transformational questions in
their mind so that they can ultimately reach their potential and change their
lives man Indian food is so spicy huh she's always getting ill foreigners are
so stupid she will never agree to see things my way these are the typical
questions or typical statements that people make based on one incident this
is famously known as the convincers strategy that every single person uses
even you and even I we use this to not only build our belief system but we also
use it to make sense of the world around us imagine you're in a foreign country
let's say India although it's not foreign to me so let's say here in India
this is your first time here you are a foreigner visiting the country what do
you do okay you want to come in and try some food now let's say on the back of
that person's mind they have something going on like I've heard that Indian
food is spicy now let's say that they try some food here and what happens the
first thing that they try turns out to be slightly spicy and then immediately
make they they make these amazing statements that all the Indian food is
spicy based on one incident this convinced of strategy is super powerful
because it's coming from one situation of all of the situations in your own
life where this happens think about it we make sweeping assumptions and
generalizations all the time based on one or two incidents this is so
important to recognize because this is costing as costing us relationships
costing us money costing us business deals costing us problems with students
and school and a whole bunch of other things recognize that biased opinions
they do not come from certainty they are vocalized in a form of certainty but
they do not form fact and that's very very important to consider bias people
come from their own point of view with their own belief system that is usually
made from one or two incidents and it doesn't necessarily have to be about one
or two things remember that you and I we do it all the time and the reality is
that it's extremely hard to change a biased person there you go it's not hard
to do it is it just by that one statement immediately I have created
another bias biases happen all the time and it's important to be mindful of what
we are doing and at the same time know that if we are going to use these three
tips effectively we need to recognize what are these situations under which we
are creating a bias what is belief in itself and how can we actually improve
the situation all of this is vital to consider keeping
that in mind remember that any person who is biased they are coming from one
perspective and that is their own that's right they're always coming from their
own perspective someone who tastes Indian foods and says oh my god all
Indian food is spicy that's their opinion but in reality is it true
because if we look at the wider spectrum of all of India there is a diverse range
of food there is also a lot of food that is not spicy and
there are a lot of people who do not eat spicy food so there you go the bias is
immediately broken and if you actually see the large majority of foreigners or
people who visit India for the first time when they try all of the food they
do taste a lot of variety they do find a lot of stuff that isn't spicy so the
bias when tested let me repeat that the bias when tested can be broken so
it's up to you and up to the people who recognize this information is important
that if we recognize a bias as something that can be questioned and something
that can be changed then we can overcome their opinion so keeping that in mind
know that they need to consider two other important opinions one is the
opinion of you your own opinion and the opinion with regard to the entire
overall situation as well keeping the actual general worldly perspective in
mind your perspective and then their perspective all of this is vital to
consider keep all three of these in mind so that you don't create a bias of your
own and remember this is very powerful stuff because with this you can also
influence other people you can create problems for other people so use these
three tips wisely know that they are very powerful and if misused you can
spoil someone's life at the same time just like someone who is creating a bias
in the first place so anyway here we go here are the three tips to help deal
with biased people that will allow you to make more money improve your
relationships and make people see things your way
number one break their absolutism you heard me right break their absolutism
now what are the general statements that someone might make when they look at a
biased opinion number one she's all the way
foreigners are stupid he is never going to agree with me so we have three
statements here that are sweeping generalizations based on probably one
situation now we want to break their absolutism and make them see things the
way they actually are how do we do this we ask them questions you need to ask
them questions that allow them to challenge the statement that they just
made so let's reconsider this remember it's not just asking these questions
it's the way you ask them it's not how you ask the questions what the words
that are in there but how you ask it so let's look at the same statements again
Indian food is spicy all Indian food is spicy
foreigners are stupid all foreigners are stupid he'll never agree with me he'll
never agree with you she's always sick she's always sick you see just the way
you vocalize it back to them and make it seem a little sarcastic but at the same
time a lot more logical just by putting it a back across like that you
immediately make them see okay that's not a finite perspective that I am
putting forth so what happens they will typically justify it they will say
things like oh well you know there were a couple of times when this girl felt
sick or they may say that oh I went to India and I tried this one type of food
and it was so spicy or it may be something like all foreigners are stupid
so you they they may say that oh there was this one guy whom I spoke to he
spoke in broken English but he couldn't really give me directions to where I
wanted to go and then this personally he'll never agree
with me he'll never agree with you well there was this one time where he acted
so difficult and he never wanted to see things my way my professor did not allow
me to change the particulars project the way I wanted to do it immediately they
try to justify and then they try to make things look really flowery because now
they have put themselves into a compromising position by saying a bias
statement to you they have immediately framed it to
absolute make it look absolute that it is finite the way it is it's up to you
just by the way I am saying it to question them and make them question
themselves about what they just said okay now they justified it by making
that statement again you want to quantify it quantifying works
beautifully and how do you do that you ask them how many how often every single
time and this is really powerful for it okay so how many times has she fallen
sick how many times has your professor not allowed you to do things your way
how many foreigners did you meet on your trip that were actually stupid how many
types of Indian food did you try that were actually spicy and immediately you
see that you are one-by-one picking away at their excuses someone who is trying
to lose weight let's face it oh I am never going to lose weight I do not have
the potential to do it use the same strategies break their absolutism and
ultimately frame it in a way that they see things your way and how do you do
that you do this one very simple thing you actually frame a new question to
make it look like a completely new perspective so you would want to break
out of the bias and now frame it in a
completely new way now this takes skill this one takes a little bit of talent on
your part and you have to see how you can word your sentence accordingly let
me give it a try now let's say the same thing they're
justified regarding the girl who is always falling sick and now what do you
want to do you want to phrase it like this you said how many times has she
actually fallen sick well maybe you caught her at a bad time
but based on what you said I don't really think that she is someone who
always falls sick and then what do they see yeah right so you tried a couple of
types of Indian food that was spicy but I've I've spoken to a quite a few people
who seem to know what they're talking about on their travels and they've tried
a lot of different kinds of food in India that weren't spicy what do you
have to say about that and the last one of course regarding foreigners being
stupid well you may have run into one of those guys who maybe didn't know how to
convey information as effectively as you would have liked but remember that all
he was trying to do was help you and give you directions so maybe you should
have looked at talking to someone else maybe you would have that would have
changed your perspective like talking to doctors engineers or someone else from
the educated class of that country again now with this perspective now they have
to challenge the exact framework that they have created and now they have to
see things your way very very powerful and used effectively you
break anyone's belief system any absolute statements that they make and
actually make them see things your way very powerful now if this doesn't work
tip number two works beautifully and it's called in the magic question how do
you ask them the magic question well you put it forth like this what would have
to happen for you to see it differently can you consider things differently than
the way you see them right now super-powerful statement or question
that you can make to them if you ask them this question effectively phrase it
exactly the way I said it it is going to work magic for you and usually they will
give you a reply for this and you want to follow it up with this so what would
it take for you to see things happen like that or what would have to happen
for you to see things from another perspective or what would be the
resources or the skills or the objectivity that you would have to
consider in order to see things this way amazing once you lay it out like this so
use the magic question frame and accordingly remember it's going to be a
conversation and you will have people replying back to you whenever you ask
them these questions because they are not only questioning their statement but
you are also questioning their belief at the same time so they are going to
retort and you need to be prepared for that so handle it not aggressively but
assert yourself whenever required which moves us in to tip number three change
places with them now remember this is very important if you are going to close
the sale if you want them to see the importance of something and actually
change their entire framework and how do you do that you need to change places
with them we have a certain ideology now now you want them to see things your
way how do you do this simple now let's say that they say I want Z and Z is like
this okay you reply in this fashion I see where you're coming from I
understand that you see Z a certain way however what would it take for us to
consider x and y so that we can deal with this better now give them a pause
after that now you've set the framework for someone to see something in a
different way not just a different way but see it your way
okay now that you have created that gap you move into the final thing and how do
you do that once the pause is done before they can actually reply you want
to say so now that I've mentioned that x and y needs to be like this how can we
put the framework together so that we can see things working both ways so that
Z is taken into consideration x and y are taken into consideration and
ultimately the answer is gained so that we can suit each other on the current
situation again we have now framed the overall perspective to make someone else
see things our way it's a very subtle strategy to do all of this stuff but
essentially if it's going to become a power game if you need to get aggressive
it's not going to work asking these questions asking strategic questions is
the most powerful way so someone with weight loss someone with the weight loss
issue rather when they say that I will never lose weight I can never exercise I
don't have the time again make them go through all of the steps so that you
ultimately reach that point where you need to negotiate past certain things
and make them see things your way okay now I understood that you have the time
to exercise but you haven't just got to it that's their perspective now what's
your perspective I can see that you have not gotten to exercising but now you
seem to have the time to exercise so can we work around a certain time frame
where you can start exercising so that you can actually lose weight and reach
your goals so that I as a trainer can help you get from where you are right
now point A to point B to achieve that amazing body that you want so badly
immediately you have won the conversation there because not only are
you not coming off in a very aggressive very intimidating approach but you are
looking at it from their perspective again acknowledging it and at the same
time providing yours when you do it like this they cannot help but see things
your way they cannot help but see things your way or at this they will have to
agree with you and ultimately will not enforce their opinion on someone else
anymore the most important skill with regard to
dealing with biased people is asserting yourself asserting yourself so that not
only can you challenge sometimes a myth or a belief of someone else but at the
same time you want them to see things your way that's the most important thing
a super powerful strategy that needs to be used effectively and if misused can
create a lot of problems that's very important to consider so use the
strategy use all three of these tips very very safely use them with in the
right context and make sure that you do not manipulate people using all of this
because it's just as bad as a biased person might be in some situations you
want to make sure that that freedom of thought is there the Billy
system that we are gifted while growing up whatever it may be good or bad it's
still a very powerful thing so whenever you are trying to change someone's
opinion or making them look at things differently know that you have a lot of
power in your hand and you want to use it safely and keep them in mind all the
time having said that if you found this video useful make sure you hit that
thumbs up button comment down below tell me what you are going to do with these
three tips where are you going to use them are you going to use them in school
are you going to use them in business at work at home negotiating relationships
with your wife or your husband let me know down in the comment section below I
am dedicated to making your 20-19 awesome
and of course changing your life and making it better using a wide range of
psychological techniques that's my goal on this channel we do that through
psychology and help you become the best version of yourself have you performing
like a champion in every single area of your life why do we do this well we do
it because we can because we are powerful and that's my goal for you
we're going to do it empower your mind and empower your life
that's my goal for you if this is your first time here if I haven't convinced
you enough and if I haven't made you bias to the fact that you need to
subscribe right now and turn on those bad notifications so that you never miss
another video well check out all of the other videos that I have for you so that
you can form your own opinion and enjoy the content that I'm putting out for you
this is Vikram signing off and I will see you in the next session
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