I'm Drew, and I would love for you to subscribe to my channel and like of my videos
This is my coming-out story, and I would love for you to listen to it and share your comments
I've been wanting to abort my coming-out story for a little while now. It's been a different story the most I
Have had some difficulties over the years obviously you can see that
I am in a wheelchair
And that is not an easy part of thing growing up in rural, Ontario
I was always teased and bullied as a child all through school actually all the way up until high school
and it was not easy for me to kind of go about my life in a way that I
Wanted to live my life. I knew that I was different than other guys
But I didn't know exactly why or why what's the difference? I was still very
much a
bisexual through all of this I
Still had girlfriends through high school. I liked girls. It wasn't that I did not like girls
It was just the fact that I was more attracted to guys than girls in June 2009
I met the first guy that I had a crush on and was very interested in getting to know
That summer we became good friends
I would say we were pretty much best friends for that summer, and we were definitely learning how to
accept our sexuality
Together as one person would on their own
But it was a little bit easier when if I had someone else to do it with?
after this summer I moved to a teen
University where I remained in the closet for that time all through my first year
I did not want to come out during my first year at University for two reasons
First reason I was living in a dorm on route 2 the guys
the other reason I did not want to come out during my first year is I wanted myself and my
Personality to be seen be seen more than I wanted to have a burden of people looking at me
differently because of my sexuality
After I finished my first year in university. I was moving to Alberta for this summer to work at the Fairmont, Banff Springs
the the night before I flew out of Toronto I was staying at my friend's Shana's house in Toronto and I
Decided I was going to tell her at that point that I was gay
It was not an easy thing to do we were sitting on her bed
And I said to her I have something I need to tell you and she said okay. What is that?
and then the silence happened a
Full 25 minutes of silence before I could spit out the words. I am gay. She was very accepting and was very
Supportive of what haya told her and I was very comfortable talking to her about anything after that
After flying out to help her to the next day. I once again spent the summer in the closet
I do not tell many people out there at all that I was gay and continued to lead the life of a straight, man
from Alberta that summer I figured I would start to tell the people that I wanted to know I was not someone who just
Fully came out to everyone at once
I told the people individually that I thought needed to know about my sexuality
It was an easier way to deal with it and an easy way to not be bombarded by a whole bunch of stuff
So as of September I started to tell my friends that were extremely close to me my roommates and then
Was working towards telling my parents at the end of December after returning to Guelph I was able to
Start telling those people. I thought you need to know and it was definitely much easier
Especially as I had started to grow close with the guy that I've been seeing
when I was
Finished high school about to head off to university
I did not want to keep that part of my life a secret and as we started people grow closer
I wanted to make sure that I was able to be myself and not hide anything from anyone so I
Continued to tell those that I thought needed to know
After coming home for Christmas I wanted to make sure I was able to be honest with my parents
I wanted to make sure I told them before I went back to university in January
This was a very difficult time these three weeks were extremely hard for me
I was pacing back and forth in my house constantly saying okay. How do I do this?
how do I tell my parents that I'm getting it's not an easy thing to do especially when you come from a family where you
live in the country
And it's not something that isn't the norm I was going back and forth all week long for two weeks straight
I was making sure I knew what I was going to say whenever's been saying how I was going to say it
But never ever did it come out the same each time I tried to
figure out how I was going to do it this made it extremely difficult for me because I was
Always nervous of what my parents thought of me, and I knew that
Anything I had done in life so far had been
because of them and their support was getting extremely close to when I was about to head back to
University, and I knew I wanted and had to tell them before I went back
so
one evening I was laying in bed and
In my room was our office as well so my mom was on the computer paying bills
And I knew this was the time that I had to tell her I couldn't hide my secret anymore
And I did not want to hide it. I needed to be open and clear with myself so that I was not
suffering and that I could live the life that I wanted to live so lying in bed that evening I was just
Contemplating what to say so I said to my mom I needed to tell you something
but then once again that dreadful silence of
No words coming out taking forever for me to get up the courage to say the three little words
I am gay
And it was not easy to do I did not want to disappoint her and do not want to
make her upset with me and wanted to make sure I still had support after this and
to my surprise I was very
Received very well with my mom she did not have much to say at first
But she did not make me feel like I was not wanted and that they were not in support of me
One of my worst fears was
Having to tell my dad and that was something that I had been dreading for this whole two weeks. I was home
I knew that he was not going to
Receive it the best, and I knew that it was not going to be easy to tell him so after telling mom that night
I knew that she was gonna go back to her room
When she went to bed tell dad which was a big weight off my shoulders. I was not wanting to tell him that
Myself those three words were not easy to say to my mom let alone my dad
So I was wanting to make sure that I did not have to actually do it personally the next day
I was sitting in the living room watching TV. My dad came in he said
So your mom told me what you had said last night, and I'm not sure how to take it
And I'm not sure how supportive I am with it, but I will not
Stop you from living your life
and
he has not done that he has allowed me to live my life and has accepted things as they have progressed it does take a
Lot of time to process these things and it took him a little while to process this and it was
understandable after going back to university in January
I started to grow even closer with this guy
And I knew that I wanted to have a relationship with him so in February of 2011
we started dating and
But the only thing at that point was I had not told my brother yet that I was gay
And I did not want him to find out from anyone else that as this guy was living in Kingston
So what did I do I messaged him over Facebook because?
Was the easiest way to get a hold of him I sent him a message saying I am gay
which was difficult as well knowing the way he was growing up and
so
He replied to me saying is that a joke and I said no you can ask mom and dad the reason I am Telling You
Is because I have a boyfriend that lives in Kingston?
And I did not want you to find out from anyone else after telling my brother. I did not want to
Disappoint anyone else and was not ready to tell many other people that I was gay
So I was going on a trip to Peru in at the end of April 2011
We went to Peru for two weeks on the last day of my trip in Peru I was in the ocean swimming
When a large wave rushed me out the ocean floor and fractured my neck in this c4
Area this has left me a ventilator dependent quadriplegic when I returned from Peru my air ambulance
after my accident
the only person who I wanted to see really bad was my boyfriend at the time and
This was also a very difficult situation
Because I had only told my parents and my brother that I was gay none of the rest of my family
Knew that I was gay and that this was going to be the time that they found out
The time they found out was when I was lying in a hospital bed
very
unable to
Communicate and unable to know what was going on around me
This was a big problem for me because I did not want to have to let my family know
about my sexuality this way, but
unfortunately accidents
happen
and you can't avoid them so when you end up in a hospital room when you are in a
paralyzed state
There is a lot of things that happened outside of that hospital room that were
Dictated towards my sexual coming out
After being in the hospital for a little while I was able to understand everything that was going on around me, and it was not
Horrible as I thought?
being as
When I was in the state I was not able to communicate not able to discuss anything
We're not able to tell my own story. I was just shown how
Loving my family had been during this time
They accepted my boyfriend at the time and were very grateful for his assistance with anything
I needed he stayed with me at the hospital every day from 8 a.m.. To 11 p.m.
Trying to make me feel comfortable and trying to be there for me as much as he could which I cannot
Thank him enough for in that situation because without him. I don't know if I would be here today
I went through a lot of depression during these times
And it was very difficult for me to get over things
And he was there every step of the way in November 2011
We finally had broken up at this point
I told him in the beginning that he did not sign up for this. It was not what he?
Was signing up for when he started a relationship with me
And I said to him if he did not want to be there
He did not have to be it was up to him. I was in a different state
I was not going to be the same person I was before
And I knew that it was going to be very difficult to have a relationship
with this disability and have to go through all of the stress and depression that I went through throughout this period
with him but
Unfortunately things ended and we were able to move on with our lives after this a new dating was not going to be easy
It's not going to be the same trying to find someone in a way that you have compromised
Your body and your body is not the same as it usually would be it is not easy
And I have not let my disability
Stop me from living life and with that being said I do not want to continue on with life
Alone so over the last four five years. I've been kind of looking for relationships
Throughout time but it is very difficult
And it is not easy. I had started a relationship in May of
2016 and I was able to have that relationship, and it was a big learning curve
There is in what learn when you have a disability and how to navigate a relationship?
Which is difficult as it is with that disability. I was not sure how my body worked
I did not know
Exactly what I was going to need what I was going to expect and what I needed to figure out
when they come to dating with disability
One thing I learned for dating with the disability is you cannot rely on your partner?
To be that person who looks after you we do not want that stress in a relationship
It is not easy as is, but then having to rely on them to do stuff for you. It does not make it any easier
over the
Period of a relationship it was a big learning curve, and I learned a lot
And I know that it's not easy dating someone with a disability
But it is something that I still strive for in life. I strive to have that relationship
I strive to have a
Relationship where I can start a family and be involved in daily life like I was normally
I don't let my disability hold me back from doing things
And I don't want it to hold me back from having a relationship or any type of family in life
So when it comes to my coming-out story it is not a typical
story
It is got a lot of bumps and bruises along the way there was not just one easy oh
I can tell this person or oh I can tell that person or I
Had no choice in telling people, so it was definitely something nice
I was not expecting I was not expecting to have to go through everything
I have gone through when it comes to coming up process
I know I have spent a lot of time over the years watching coming-out videos over YouTube
And it is been very different for every person and for me
It became extremely different when I had my accident
I did not expect that I was going to have to just let everyone know in my family that I was gay by
Introducing my boyfriend to them because I was in a hospital bed, but that did not stop me from
continuing my life, and it has
Made me a stronger person overall. I have grown as a person when it comes to everything in life
Whether it's living my life
Whether it's getting out and doing things like
Traveling and doing things that I love like going outside and hiking and all that sort of stuff
I do not let this disability stop me from that and I definitely am not gonna
Let it stop me from finding the man now
I want to spend my life with and over time get to know that person
And maybe find out what we want in common and what the things are we want to get out of life
It is not easy, but once again. It is definitely going to be a
Hard struggle to get over and I've learned that it is not going to just be an easy hey
How's it going? Do you want to go on a date?
There's always that third wheel that I have to take into consideration as I need someone with me
24/7 because of the ventilator so when I go on a date
It's not always. I oh hey like can you just go sit over there while I have this date?
It's not easy that way either
So it's a learning process each and every time with a new person anytime
I want to go out on a date anything. I have to
Explain a lot of things prior to that date. It's not easy as I said, it's never easy
but it has allowed me to learn that I
Myself am someone who is resilient and strong when it comes to my life, and I don't let things stop me
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