because erica costell just released her new song dynamite and it might show us that
she wants to get back with her ex Jake Paul so in this video we're gonna talk
about why you never get back within eggs as well as how to deal with a breakup
what is up everybody this is Chris from the rewired soul where we talk about the
problem but focus on the solution and if you're new to my channel my channel is
all about mental health and what I like to do is pull different topics from the
YouTube community trying to teach you how to improve your mental and emotional
well-being and part of mental and emotional well-being is relationships so
if you struggle in that area make sure you subscribe and bring that
notification bell but yeah before I get started make sure that you go follow me
on Instagram we are trying to get to 10,000 followers and make sure you have
notifications turned on because I am going to start doing giveaways over on
Instagram I'm gonna be giving away rewired soul merch I'm gonna be giving
away mental health books I don't know I'll give away all sorts of stuff just
go follow me over on Instagram so I can get that stupid swipe up feature all
right follow me at the rewired soul yeah so anyways those of you who are like me
and you don't follow Erika Costell or Jake Paul here's a
little recap to the best of my knowledge um like most of you I was introduced to
Erika Costell and Jake Paul through Shane Dawson series inside the
mind of Jay Paul they were together shortly after the series they broke up
there was a lot of allegations that came out afterwards that Jake Paul was
cheating on Erika but wasn't all too surprising because apparently he was
cheating on Elissa violet as well and all of that
anyways recently Erika Costell just released her new song dynamite and I
actually found out about it by watching Bionic pig and I was watching and like
when he was breaking down though the lyrics in the saying there's a little
bit awkward I'm like oh boy it's the more and more watch this video the more
awkward I feel because it broke up a while ago this is just like this is like
what a what an ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend would make in their room
and then stare at and cry because they missed that person it's like one of
those Facebook slideshows like you have all those videos and pictures of someone
and it was like I want to make a slideshow with this person and just put
sad music oh we're just playing back your past
I love to he was my lover and that's what I'm seeing here and it's just
awkward alright so anyways ok Castel apparently wrote this song while she was
still with Jake and yeah the music videos a little bit so we have to ask is
she trying to get back with Jake Paul answer is I don't know but this is a
great time to talk about breakups and the relationships and all of that I know
a lot of you are single or hopefully not some of you might be single in the near
future or whatever it is um some of you have watched my videos and told me that
you realize that you're in a toxic relationship you need to get out so I
hope this video brings you some comfort or anybody who's been through a breakup
or is you know I don't know just still mourning the loss of you know the person
that you were with for any length of time alright first thing I want to talk
about the first thing I want to talk about is you valuing and respecting your
feelings alright like there's this weird thing this is we
think and I've been through a two in previous breakups like there's we we
don't want to be sad right and obviously we don't want to be sad it's a feeling
that in an emotion that we don't like to have right but you guys like to not feel
sad after a breakup with somebody you love is to completely discredit the
entire idea of love and to not honor that idea of love and you are not
honoring the love that you felt for somebody alright love is one of the most
powerful emotions so like you have to understand you're gonna be sad it's
going to suck and that's totally okay like it's supposed to hurt this is
similar to grief and loss like when you lose a loved one like this is going to
happen so do what you have to do cry cry your frickin face off cry all day long
stay in bed cry don't do it for too long get support have you know getting to the
solution I had some videos on getting out of the pity party but like I just
whenever I talk to a friend or somebody who has gone through a breakup like they
hate how it feels but like this is one of the reasons why I keep preaching
meditation and mindfulness to you it helps you just learn how to embrace
those feelings because those feelings are completely normal and completely
natural you're supposed to feel like crap
after a breakup it is hard right now now I don't know if Erica Costello is
trying to get back with Jake Paul but now we're gonna talk about why you never get
back with an ex okay like here's the thing I see so many people do it why
what why am I gonna scoot around this I am that person I am that person who for
most of my life I got back with exes and it never worked so the best way I can
explain this to you I do this a video on this a long time ago before most of you
found me I did a video on a philosophy my friend Tommy which is the spoiled
milk philosophy all right one time that I was trying to get back with an ex he
told me don't do that he said get him back with an ex it's like drinking
spoiled milk alright here's what he said here's the way he explained out like oh
my god you are right so imagine going to your fridge taking some milk out of the
fridge drinking it and spitting it out a bit like oh my god this is spoiled and
then you take that milk and you put it back in the fridge and you come back
days later weeks later a month later a year later and you take it back out of
the fridge and you drink it thinking it's gonna taste good now like think
about that insanity that is what you are doing when you are going back to an ex
now I know there's gonna be some people in the comments who like I got back with
an ex so we're still together and got it out you are an exception to the rule
most people most people going back to an ex you find that this person is still
the exact same like I know a lot of you like man if you're right here on this
channel like most likely you have been in a crappy relationship and something
that try to talk about a lot even though most of you on my channel and watching
my videos you're trying to change you're trying to grow a lot of people don't do
that all right like I hate to say it like you are one of the few and that's
why you should be proud of yourself for even addressing your mental health
issues like we we sit around in crappy relationships for so long thinking that
another person's going to change or we get back with somebody thinking they're
going to change I'll tell you a real quick story at the end of my drug
addiction I started seeing this young woman and I was a hot mess
I was hitting rock bottom of my drug addiction and alcoholism but our entire
relationship was insane it was pure insanity because I used to like to date
chaotic women right well after I got sober and moved back to Las Vegas I got
the bright idea that actually dinner again because clearly it was my
because I was a drug addict an alcoholic no we started dating again
and everything was awful all the same and frankly it made me want to start
drinking and using again because that's how hectic it was this is only one of
many times and I have tested this theory like after my my friend told me about
the spoiled milk philosophy I didn't listen I didn't listen that's why I'm
not too hard on you I know I can give you advice all day long but you're gonna
do a lot of the things even though I tell you not to do it but the best thing
that we can do is learn from our own experiences all right like I don't see
life as wins and losses anymore I see them as you either win or you learn
something all right so just keep that in mind like especially if you were in a
relationship with somebody who was verbally or emotionally abusive
especially physically abusive I do not go back to that person thinking that
they have changed like until that person has like gone through therapy expensive
therapy to figure out why they can't control themselves
while they try to degrade you why they try to talk down to you why they try to
belittle you until they work on that don't expect them to just sit around at
their house and magically get a Tiffany one day like oh my god now I realize why
I was a crappy person know one of the reasons why I make this channel make
these videos try to teach people how to work on their mental health but working
on your mental health is not a passive activity it takes action so don't go
back to what ex thinking that they just magically got better all of a sudden one
of the best pieces of advice that I could recommend is to just stay single
for a while all right like so many of us so many of us let me know down in the
comments below if you can relate to this so many of us hate being alone being
alone is like physically painful alright now this is so hard I stayed single for
a year and a half away because I knew I knew that I had to work on myself so
many of us to be honest if you start reflecting or you go through therapy you
realize the reason why you feel the need to be with somebody else is because you
don't love yourself you don't love yourself and you have this void you have
this hole inside of you right and you're trying to find somebody to fill that
void right so we get this idea that if if we don't love ourselves if I
can get somebody else to love me this then means unlovable you see what I mean
and the problem is is that we start lowering our bar right
oh they show me a tension right oh they bought me something oh they didn't you
know do something my terrible ice boyfriend did like this is the thing you
guys like you got to increase your standards like when you learn how to be
comfortable being alone and being single you will be amazed you will be amazed at
where your standards are and that insane standards just like somebody who's
honest right someone who respects you someone who respects your interests and
your hobbies someone who is respectful to your family right because so many
times we're like okay you know they're kind of nice over here but you know they
don't get along with my family or the kind of a jerk oh you know I can deal
with that and we go into this relationship thinking that you know
we'll fix up or they'll change and then you get stuck in a relationship I did a
video about Trisha Paytas and Jason match and I asked you guys a question I
asked you guys a question I said how many of you have sat in a relationship
far too long waiting for somebody to change alright so when you stay single
like I did you're going to find somebody much much better for you and remember
this to something I can't emphasize enough is if you're sitting in a bad
relationship right now every day every hour every minute that you're spending
with somebody who you know it's not gonna work out with like you are
neglecting yourself of an opportunity to meet somebody who will love and value
you the way that you deserve to be valued alright I know breakups are hard
I know it's hard to end things but you gotta get out of that relationship you
know what I'm saying there's absolutely nothing wrong with being single I was
single for a very long time before I met Tristan Tristan was single for a very
long time before she met me and had we lowered our
standards and just started dating any opportunity that we had out there we
would have never met each other we've been together for over two years now and
this is the healthiest relationship I've ever been in because I took that time of
being single to learn how to love myself I no longer need somebody else to make
me feel good enough all right I know that's easier said than done but
it takes work it takes time start practicing this I'm going to be making
videos about mental health New Year's resolutions I'm going to talk more about
being nicer and kinder and loving yourself alright so you don't have to
keep getting into these crappy relationships so anyways the moral of
the story is don't get back with your ex learn to love yourself alright but if
you can relate to anything I talked about in this video
whether it is dating an axe you can tell me how that went or your inability to
stay single let me know down in the comments cuz I guarantee you're not
alone and remember go follow me on Instagram because I'm gonna be doing
giveaways baby after we work so alright so anyways thanks so much for watching
and a huge huge huge thank you to everybody who is supporting the channel
over on patreon you are all amazing and make sure you subscribe and bring that
notification bell because I make a ton a ton of videos alright but thanks again
and I'll see you next time
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