- [StyleLikeU] First question,
when you first met Edmundo, was it love at first sight?
- Love at first sight,
I don't believe - the word love has been abused, used,
and abused. It's an empty word.
And then last night, I heard Trump tell everybody,
"Love ya, love ya!
Love you!"
So, but sight?
Yes, first time I saw her, there was a party,
and there was a dance, and first time we danced,
I had an erection, so I felt, this is the person.
(laughs)
- [StyleLikeU] How old were you?
- Well I must have been 15 or 16.
- I was 16 when I met Edmundo.
I don't know, no, I don't think it was love at first sight.
It's after we started talking.
He was really good looking guy,
and he was tall, little bit awkward,
he wasn't like one of the smooth guys,
he wasn't a super ladies man, the way he became later.
(laughs) 'Cause I've lived through three
very different cultures, in Germany and in Belgium.
- [StyleLikeU] Why did you leave?
- Well, we left because the Germans had invaded Belgium.
You know, they did things slowly, they got you to register,
then they called you up, and eventually they shipped
you off to a concentration camp.
And we were able to flee,
under great danger,
but anyway, we were able to get to Spain,
and then any country that would have us.
And Cuba would have us, we were very lucky.
- I lived in Cuba in a revolution,
I participated in a revolution where I risked my life.
I was in an airfield,
I was about to be bombed by the United States,
and I was there.
- We packed up to come to New York,
and he said, "Don't go, stay behind."
And I said, "Well what do you mean don't go?
We're 16, what are we going to do?"
- [StyleLikeU] But how was it for you when she left?
- You're distressed, you feel the world is ending,
you miss something.
It's a rupture, it's heart breaking.
I went to my mother, and I
got into bed and started moaning and groaning,
- [StyleLikeU] For how long were you sad?
- No, that doesn't last long when you're young.
(chuckles)
You had a period in between where you had to make yourself,
and that is a period that we missed,
and I think we were lucky.
Because that's a period where there's conflict,
with the children, your profession,
I mean, I went into writing, she went into family.
She had three children, I had three books,
I was established, I wasn't insecure.
That made it possible for the third stage.
And she found out that I was here,
and we got together.
But we are not married, I think marriage is the end of love.
(chuckles)
- He came and visited me, and we spent every day together.
We didn't have any money, but we went to
the Museum of Modern Art, which was free in those days,
and we sat in Central Park,
and even rented a hotel room once.
He left after a month, he had to go back home.
And we corresponded,
and I couldn't wait for his letters,
and then they became less frequent,
and mine became less frequent,
and I got a new boyfriend, and he got a new girlfriend.
I didn't see him for 35 years.
He's been married three times,
- [StyleLikeU] And you've been married how many times?
- Once.
- [StyleLikeU] Over these years, over these three
other marriages, did you think about Felicia often?
Or did you forget about her?
- No. I forgot about her.
- [StyleLikeU] You totally forgot?
- Not totally forget, but you don't yearn for it,
you don't feel that I was missing...
Although I used her in the film.
- 1968 I think it was,
a film based on Edmundo's novel
was screened in New York.
Memories of Underdevelopment became world famous.
There was a scene in the film,
a flashback, about us in New York.
Suddenly I saw myself the way I had been when I was young.
Up on the screen. It was a very
emotional scene.
And it sort of brought everything back for me.
- She called me, she got my phone number in North Hampton,
and she called me.
And then I told her, "Well, I want to see you right away."
And so I went to see her in East Hampton,
and we clicked again, and we got together.
- May I get up for a second and show you something?
I was going through some old photographs,
and I found this photograph of myself when I was 20.
I realized that
this is how I looked at 20,
and I'm wearing pretty much the same outfit,
same type of clothes.
There.
- [Edmundo] When I see her, coming down the street,
let's say a block away,
her silhouette is the same silhouette
that I knew in the 40's.
You saw age only as she got closer and closer,
- Life doesn't end at 50.
It's a time when your children are, you know,
somewhat self sufficient,
and you still have a lot of life ahead of you.
I published my book at 50, I got divorced at 50.
I met Edmundo at 50.
I mean, not all at the same time, but around that time.
He moved to California, but it didn't happen overnight.
I eventually divorced, but he was far away,
and he was married, so,
I just felt that I had to be on my own,
and I lived on my own for close to 10 years,
but we were in touch.
- [StyleLikeU] Was it platonic?
- (sighs) No.
Eventually, Edmundo came back, he divorced,
and we started living together.
That's still the center of my life, is the relationship.
As before, my first marriage and my children
were also the center of my life.
Sometimes I think it shouldn't be that way,
you know, I could get more done.
- [StyleLikeU] What's been the biggest struggle
or insecurity for you within your relationship?
- [Felicia] We really what we struggle with now
is just growing old.
I mean, we're 85 years old.
- We accommodated well,
she in her room, when she reads, I read.
We share our values, our books,
our television programs, and Netflix.
It's more a period of reassessment.
Understanding, age.
Like you want to understand youth.
When you're old, you shouldn't want to recover youth,
you should try to understand
the pitfalls and the problems with age.
As they say, old age is not for sissies.
- You know you get creaky, and you have aches and pains,
and you don't want so many things,
you're not as restless, you're not as dissatisfied
as you might be when you're younger, and
there's a certain pleasure in routine.
Edmundo always jokes about how he looks forward
to breakfast every day.
(laughs)
I haven't gotten that far, but...
- I always think, since I'm a few months older, I'm a man,
I'm going to die first.
I don't worry about the separation, because
I think she perhaps worries more,
because I think I'm going to kick the bucket
long before she does.
I see widows all over, married widows, one downstairs,
The Shapiros, her husband died, and she's bloomed.
(both laugh)
She goes everywhere, her husband used to keep her down,
and she goes to the theater, the movies, she has more money.
- [Felicia] We eat a late lunch everyday.
We don't eat dinner.
We meet around two a clock or so.
And we consume wine.
"Linner" we call it, lunch dinner.
It's like a date really.
- [StyleLikeU] Every day?
- Yeah.
I used to, in fact, dress up for our lunches,
but I don't do that anymore.
(chuckles)
I'm too tired or too old.
I remember I used to put on earrings, and a special dress.
I got this dollar, a gold dollar Edmundo gave me,
when I was 16. It belonged to his mother.
And I kept it all those years.
- [StyleLikeU] It's gorgeous.
- [Felicia] And I still have it.
- [StyleLikeU] Shirt or pants?
- Huh?
- [StyleLikeU] Shirt, can you take your shirt
or your pants?
- I'll take off my shirt.
Okay, here is what I call the
the sculpting,
and the painting of time.
You see, and also...
I love this.
This hammock I have right here.
I enjoy it.
I can't touch a young body,
but this is really extraordinary,
to have this, or to pull your flesh.
I have to find the beauty in the present.
Most people want to live their youth that is gone.
I think it's important to appreciate age,
appreciate my body.
Look at all these wonderful spots I have here.
- [StyleLikeU] When do you think you are
the most beautiful to him?
- I don't know, I can't answer that.
You have to ask him.
I don't know.
- [StyleLikeU] When is he the most beautiful to you?
(laughs)
- He's always beautiful to me.
- [Edmundo] Already I've talked about her character,
personality, her experience.
She has done with age
the most that I think any human being can do.
I appreciate that.
- Okay.
You know, this is the first time I've done this
in public like this,
and I think, at my age, to do something for the first time
is quite extraordinary.
There aren't that many things that you do (mumbles)
- [StyleLikeU] There you go.
Do you believe in fate?
- [Edmundo] No.
I don't believe in fate.
I don't think there is any fate.
- [StyleLikeU] Why?
- I haven't found it in myself,
you think it's fate that I was...
The revolution failed and I had to come
to the United States?
I don't think that's fate.
- [StyleLikeU] Why wouldn't it be fate that the
revolution ended and that you ended up with her here?
- Why would that be fate.
- [StyleLikeU] That would be my version of fate.
- I think it's accident.
It's in the cards.
- [StyleLikeU] Isn't that fate?
- Well, you can call it fate, I call it accident.
(chuckles)
- [Felicia] Do I believe that
you don't have as much control over your life
as you think you do.
I do believe in that.
I wonder, you know, if I lived my life over again,
if I were the same person,
I don't think I would live it all that differently.
I've learned a few things,
but I'm not even sure I would apply what I've learned.
I think I'd make the same mistakes all over again.
In a way, I feel as the whole world is inside of me by now.
- [StyleLikeU] Why is
your life with Edmundo the only place to be.
Like why for you--
- Because we're twins, you see, we're the same age.
We're born in 1930, both of us.
And then we found ourselves, back together.
There's something symmetrically beautiful about it.
- We click together,
we say something and the other person can complete it,
can know what you're talking about.
That's very difficult,
a lot of people talk and nobody understands them.
(mumbles) Not even a portion of it,
the man says "yes, oh yes you're right,"
but doesn't go beyond that.
But I do think that even stating that there are differences
is part of the understanding.
- [StyleLikeU] That was good,
that was the perfect ending.
- Okay.
- [StyleLikeU] Wait no!
Pictures, pictures!
- Pictures!
- [StyleLikeU] Pictures.
- [StyleLikeU] Do you want like a blanket
for a second while--
- [Edmundo] No, no, I don't...
- Thank you so much for watching our video,
and for being such a incredible supporter of StyleLikeU.
We're Elisa and Lily, a mother and daughter on a mission
to inspire acceptance by revealing
what's underneath personal style.
- Through radically honest docu-style videos,
we are leading the fashion and beauty industries towards
self love, diversity, and inclusion.
- Join our movement by following us on Instagram,
subscribing to our YouTube channel,
and buying our new book today.
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