[Intro music]
Hey guys, it is me Chaseypoo and today I'm going to talk about
how to deal with haters online.
Because, listen toots, it's something that I've had to deal with literally for the last seven years.
Seven? Seven? Eight? Eight years online.
And I-I-I have learned things I have tricks and I have tips for you.
So that's what we're talking about today.
Also, if you're wondering why am I wearing such an awesome shirt
that I never wear before, this is 'Pretty Fly For A Transguy' t-shirt
that I have on my online shop which is ftmtranstastic.threadless.com
They're really not expensive, I wanna make sure that anybody who wants a shirt can get a shirt.
So if you wanna take a look at this shirt, and a whole bunch of other designs that we have,
please go take a look at that. Link in the description below.
So, what-what constitutes as online hate?
Okay so here's the deal.
There are so many aspects of my life that people like to nitpick at.
Alright. So I'm gonna use the biggest one and how all of this online hate started for me.
[Inhales] Okay. When I was on hormones I decided to stop, T after a year.
I felt like the changes were too fast for me
and I don't like change and I have a lot of anxiety and I disassociate a lot
so seeing that change in the mirror
and seeing my progress from the year to year. Like some people love that sh- I love it now.
But it was just- it was terrifying to me so I decided to go off of T.
[Pause, inhale]
Well, I didn't know that it would be an explosion of hate online.
There were these like radical feminist lesbians who are like
super like like TERFs y'know like Trans Exclusionary -terf- Radical Feminists.
Um, who literally wrote on the comments "Our lesbian is coming back to us"
"Our lesbian is coming back to us?"
PLEASE, I never said anything about destransitioning.
And that's what is a big issue about hate online, is that somebody will
say something and then people who are so critical of everything -because this is the internet-
[Inhales]
they they they like take what you, what you said and they
switch it in the way that they want so that you look bad
and that they look good so they have something to say.
And I feel like we do that a lot for anything we see online like
Caitlyn Jenner says something everyone squints eyes right away
because of stuff that she's said in the past, of course,
and the squinty eye is good and because she said something problematic.
Um, so that- that's an example of something that's like
we're used to doing that.
But then some people take it extra far and they
take what she said and they twist it around and
say all these other things that she has never said.
Um, I don't know why I used Caitlyn Jenner as an example, she's not a very good role model for the trans community.
Just forget what I said about that.
My point is that people take what you say and they switch it around.
So me saying I'm going off of T
apparently meant I was detransitioning and apparently meant
that I was going to be a girl again and identifying as a lesbian and dating lesbians again.
Which was very [pause] interesting t-for my identity
honestly because I was- I felt like now I had an identity crisis.
Because when I went off of T I did not have an identity crisis.
I was like "I'm going off T but I'm allowed and I'm still trans and that's it."
But then all these people putting all these ideas in my head.
I'm like wait a minute, am I not allowed to be trans because I'm not on T anymore?
So all of these things hurt me so much for years
and I kept getting, it and I got it on Tumblr.
And it hurt so much because a lot of trans people
[Inhale, pause]
get hate from other trans people in the community.
And that to me is just like, really? Really? Why would we do this?
We get so much hate from the outside world.
Why does our little community here have to hate each other inside?
But I did. And I wasn't allowed to go on my "Chase Ross" tag on Tumblr anymore.
Literally Zuzia like was like "If you go on that tag I'm gonna kill you."
So I was like okay I'm not going to go on my tag. [Inhales]
Um, I had to take a non-off and all of these things because I just got so much hate.
And it was people who were- who were
targeting me and saying things that I have said
and it being problematic.
About how like yes I think that people who are non-binary can also be under the trans umbrella.
And then it was all these people being like absolutely not.
And it was just hard because these people just don't know me in real life.
And I feel like if you see somebody in real life it's different.
So after a while I was able to go on the tag.
And what I didn't like though is like if you're gonna like critique someone's
like view on things, critique their view.
Don't critique their appearance and like the way that they are.
And that was a thing that really hurt me a lot
because I did get a lot of hate because of my spelling
and because of my grammar so like Zuzia had to write a lot of my posts,
because like I- I'm really bad at- I'm super dyslexic.
Um, and just like of my appearance and stuff like that, and that wasn't nice.
So how do you deal with all of this?
[Deep breath]
I have switched it over to the side where
before it used to matter so much that I would cry in bed
for hours and it was way too much.
And I get messages now from YouTubers who are
starting out and don't have that many followers but people are-
they found their video and they get hate.
And I have a friend Reid who posted a video
and he got a bunch of cis people on there like hating on him and he was like
"I don't know how to deal- how, how do you deal with this? How do you deal with all of this hate all the time?"
[Inhales]
Um, and honestly I know this is gonna be easier said than done.
But I ignore it, I HAVE to ignore it.
If I don't ignore it I'm just gonna sit in my bed all day and cry,
because it reminds me of how cruel the world is.
But what I like to do is instead of focusing on these super negative comments from like
really, really transphobic cis people,
[Inhales]
I turn away and I go back to the community.
And I look at positive things that have happened in my life
and I think about the things that I have achieved and I'm like
It is so sad that you took thirteen minutes to watch my video
and ya commented this huge paragraph
that I will literally never read, and if I do read it I'm gonna make fun of you
and I don't care about that because I'm in the privacy of my own home I can do whatever the fuck I want.
So ignoring it has been like the easiest way for me to do and then like I s-
you know me okay I think people like my channel because I talk about serious topics but I like laugh about it
so here, you want the biggest example of my entire life?
Literally, when somebody watches your video and they hate it and they hate you and they hate your views and
they hate that you're trans and they go on their keyboard ratatatatata and they're all mad you know what I say?
Thanks for the view;
you literally gave me a view.
Yeah, maybe I didn't make any money off of you,
I don't care because Google's ah Google-
YouTube is being so weird with their AdSense not giving anyone adds.
I don't even care about that, you sat down and you watched me.
Any press is good press hunty, who cares?
Like, literally you just gave me attention and then if you're gonna show
all of your other cis friends 'look at this fuckin faggot' or something like that
and watch my video; you just gave me ten other views, thanks a lot!
Um, and that has happened a lot.
So, there are these like new channels that I've never seen before who take a video
and they analyze and the whole thing.
So they watch it and they pause it and they like "wait a minute"
and these people are usually anonymous
and there's two that I've seen about me and I'm like
"Oh my god look at me, I'm like popular enough now that I can get a video about me that's like this that's so great"
[Inhales, pause]
I'm kidding I don't think that I'm like "popular enough" that- that's not a thing.
I'm just saying like it's just funny that I've come to that level that- of hate
[Inhales]
so much hate that people now like to dissect my videos.
Like y'know my non binary video's like thirteen minutes right?
And that video of them dissecting it
is like thirty minutes because they have to dissect
[whispers] who has time for this? [wheezes]
One of them though I believe is a trans guy and that kinda hurts
like come on man if you don't like my views like
don't like views like my v- like my views on things but
don't watch my videos.
But I just think it's funny that
we've come to a- to a time in- in
our society, in our culture, in our community where like hating things is so common that everyone does it.
And we hate on each other.
And when you go to some of these FTM groups on Facebook and you talk to
some trans people and you see some of these posts
of like feminine trans guys
putting on nail polish and dresses and still identifying as trans or non-binary,
and then you have all these other people getting so angry like
"you're not trans get out of this group!"
It hurts me so much to see that
[Inhales]
and it hurts me so much to see that because
because I don't know if the person who originally posted this picture can handle that.
I, on the other hand, could definitely handle it
because I have dealt with years
and years of people saying that I'm not valid enough
that because I talk with my hands so much and because I like Rent
and because I like cats, literally because I like cats
and I have a cat wall
that I am not a man.
I'll never be a man, I'll never have a penis, I'll never be with women, no one will ever have sex with me.
Well like you know what, you know what? None of that is true.
And do you know why?
Because they're not your life, they're not you, they don't know how you live your life.
Okay.
And I have dealt with so much of this hate for years
and I know I can take it.
And I think that the only time where it's truly hit me,
and it's hurt me so much
-I don't want to get emotional, I don't want to get emotional-
is when YouTube started to restrict my videos.
And are still doing that, by the way, just a little update- they haven't changed that.
That hurt me so much because I have given my fucking life
to YouTube. It is my full time job, it is what I love to do.
I am in a I-I have had one of the worst weeks, okay,
and I-I-I look forward to standing in front of this circle light
and in front of my camera and talking to you 'cause this is what I love to do.
And for the fact that this website that I have dedicated my life to
is now restricting my content and no one is talking to me, I have tried everything.
It hurts and that's like-like I have never felt so targeted in my entire life.
And to me that hurts and that's me crying in my bed, so that's me trying to deal with-
"It's okay, it's okay"
but it's just because it keeps happening and no one's doing anything about it
it's really started to affect me.
The only thing that helps is to go back to the community,
and look at the other videos that I've done
and look at the comments that people have left that are good
and share my videos with other people and do binder giveaways
and just focus on the positive things which is really hard to do when you're getting a lot of hate.
So I think that overall what you need to do is
[Inhales, pause]
if it's a video that you're talking about that you got hate
ignore their comments.
Because if you co- if you talk to them
they're gonna talk to you and then you're going to start this whole thing;
the only upside about that is that every time they click to like reply to your comment,
they're giving you another view.
So there's like a- like a 200 like thread thing on my Arielle
um, reaction video like
that- that's 200 extra views that I got because people are mad.
Like, what? Like, you see what I'm saying? Like, it-
I don't- I-I'm not one of those people that's like
"everything happens for a reason, see the positive in something negative."
I can't do that I'm-I'm- I'm a very negative person sometimes-
I know it's hard to believe for real.
[Inhales] Um,
but it's just funny that something good comes out of that bad.
And, don't engage- don't engage with people
especially if we're talking about videos, especially if we're talking about cis people.
There is a point where you can educate someone and if
you feel like you can truly educate this person who's hating on you then absolutely try if you want to.
Don't put it on yourself that you have to though, absolutely not.
If we're talking about Facebook posts,
um, about family members that are hating you, that's a completely different thing.
Um, that's another video honestly that I will- be made later on.
But, if you're talking about FTM groups on Facebook and other FTMs hating on you;
Like, really though? Like, literally, I site there and I'm like
"you have time, who has time?"
Literally no one has time to do anything; everyone is always so busy.
We're always rushing, we're always doing that, we're always working,
we have like 3 jobs so that we can afford an apartment.
Like [inhales]
Who has time to sit there and hate on someone else and judge their identity?
So I want you to know, okay, and this is just a little pep talk for you.
If you have ever had online hate,
okay, and if you are c-currently experiencing it
-especially if it's from the trans community-
and it's hurting you a lot.
You are valid.
Okay? 100% you are valid.
You are allowed to identify how you want,
you are allowed to be who you want.
Don't look at these comments as reality, because it's not.
It's people who-who are so close-minded that they can't
understand that there is a world outside of this little life that they live in.
And when you open up your mind it is a beautiful thing.
So don't narrow yourself down to what they're thinking and focus on what they're saying.
Instead, go be you, be you because who you are is fantastic and it's fabulous.
So you- instead of focusing down you got to focus up
and when you go up you see way more than when you look down,
so looking up -Oh my God, so metaphor right now- when you look up,
[deep breath]
you're able to see the bigger picture and
the bigger picture of life is that you control your life and your- you do you.
Don't let these people who are hating on you control your life.
because the second you let them get under your skin,
and one comment is bothering you, two comments, three comments, you're letting them win.
And never let the haters win, and you know why?
Because they don't deserve it.
Because they- y-y'know some of these people I swear to God,
some of the comments that I get just-
like, I've come to a point like, I'm not even joking now
when I get a hate comment I screenshot it and I posted online.
And like yeah, maybe that's me giving them like
a platform because now their username is online,
but it just makes me laugh
that they are just- some of these comments like;
literally "you have a cat while behind you, you can't be a man."
"Stop coloring your hair, stop with this-this jewelry on your face, stop talking with your hands."
Like what kind of- what-what world- what world do these
people live in? Because hunty it's 2017 open your mind everything is changing.
Anyways, that's all I wanted to say about online hate.
If you want me to elaborate more on online hate or how
to deal with online hate like, I would love to talk about it
more, I have so much more to say.
But this is a long video already.
But I love you guys so much and I will see you later.
Okay. Bye.
[Outro music]
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