The dark side of referrals is something that most people do not talk about when you're
talking about getting referrals in business, but we're going to talk about that today.
Hi there.
I'm Angela Brown, and this is Ask a House Cleaner.
This is a show where you get to ask a house cleaning question
and I get to help you find an answer.
Now, today's question comes from a house cleaner who's in kind of a bind.
She cleans houses for a lady we're going to call Karen.
Karen lives on one side of the street, and on the opposite side of the street, there's
a woman we're going to call Janet.
So, there's Karen and across the street lives Janet.
Now, Janet has been watching the house cleaner go to Karen's house every other week for the
last two years, so she asks Karen, "Hey, who's your house cleaner?"
Karen says, "Oh, it's so and so.
You should give them a call."
So, Janet calls the house cleaner and it turns out
that Janet is not a good fit for the house cleaner.
She is super high maintenance, she's ornery, she hovers, she gives lots of feedback and
criticism, and do it my way kind of a thing.
For the house cleaner, who is really freaked out, Janet has all of her own cleaning supplies.
So, she'll do things like fill up the mop bucket and then proceed to show the house
cleaner how to mop the floor.
Okay, wow.
If I showed up at your house and you hired me because I'm an expert, and then you gave
me your cleaning supplies, and you told me how to do my job, I would be out the door.
The freaky thing about it is, Janet called for help because she needs the help.
If she was going to do it herself, she should just do it herself and not ask for a referral.
All right, here's the problem.
The house cleaner wants to get rid of Janet, but now she's afraid that if she gets rid
of Janet, that she's going to lose Karen as her original customer, because Karen gave
the referral of Janet.
Does that make sense?
She's afraid she's going to lose the original business if she gets rid of the referral.
All right.
Well, this happens a lot in the house cleaning industry, where you make friends with a customer
and the customer likes you so well, that they refer you to their parents, and their sister,
and their cousin, and their neighbor, and all these people that live nearby.
Then if something goes south with any of those people, you're afraid you're going to lose
the whole network of referrals.
That is what we call the dark side of referrals, because there's this covert contract that
says if I don't take your referrals, you fire me.
Okay, that's a covert contract.
If you don't know about covert contracts, we covered it in episode 177.
Go back through the archives and look at it, because it's a spooky concept.
But the concept is this.
If the customer likes you well enough that they gave you a referral to family and friends,
you need to be right up front about it.
Now, the reality is you own the business.
Because you own the business, you get to decide who your customers are.
If you were to go to a customer and say, you know, "We're not a good fit for each other,"
they may be upset and they may talk to their neighbor that referred you.
So, go first to the original customer that gave you the referral.
Go to Karen and say, "Hey, listen, Karen.
You gave me the referral of Janet.
Thank you so much.
I really appreciate you looking out for me and I appreciate you
bringing business my way.
However, after a little bit of working with Janet, we're not a good fit in business and
I didn't want that to come between us."
Now, Karen has the opportunity of saying:
"No, no, no, no, no. It's perfectly fine."
But you are the business owner and you get to pick.
Don't buy into the covert contract and just assume that you're going to get fired if you
get rid of the customer.
This happens in all sorts of businesses.
If a customer shows up to a restaurant and they are wearing the wrong kind of clothing
or little clothing or no clothing, or they're belligerent, and they're acting bad, or over
drunk, or something, the restaurant has the ability to say, "You know what?
You do not get to eat here," and they will escort that person off the premise.
They get to decide who eats at the restaurant Now, we've seen it on the airlines where someone
will show up and they will misbehave, and the airlines will call security and the security
will escort that person off the flight.
The airlines don't tolerate crap either, and neither should you.
As a business owner, you get to decide who you're going to work with.
Okay, so if you are afraid that you are going to lose your customer because you don't like
the referrals they gave you, go back to the customer and have a conversation.
Just an upfront conversation.
Whatever you do, do not go into details.
Do not say, "Well, Janet said this, and she did this, and she did that," and whatever,
because now Karen is going to think,
"You know, she's going to talk smack about me, too."
Then you might actually get fired by Karen.
What you're going to do is be very professional.
You're going to go back to Karen and say,
"Karen, thank you so much for the referral of Janet.
We worked together one or two times," or whatever the truth of the situation is, "I discovered
we were not a good fit for each other for whatever reason, but thank you so much.
I appreciate you helping me build my business.
I just wanted to let you know, so that doesn't come between our working relationship."
Throw it back to her as, "hey, I appreciate it.
Like, hey, give me more referrals."
"This particular one did not work out, but I do appreciate the referrals just the same."
So that she will be inspired to keep giving you referrals because the next referral might
be awesome.
Here's what people don't realize.
I'm a perfect customer and my best friend might not be a perfect customer at all.
We just happen to be best friends.
But her personality might clash with you or vice versa.
See?
People don't realize that.
They don't realize that the people that they refer may not be a good fit, and so it's your
job to let them know in a very diplomatic and very kind way.
But don't buy into the covert contracts, because that will make you crazy.
All right.
That is the dark side of referrals.
Now that you know, you can go build your business
with lots of referrals and you can do it the right way.
All right. That's my two cents.
Until we meet again,
leave the world a cleaner place than when you found it.
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