Hey guys, welcome back to my channel.
I just put up, uploaded, um, video about staying positive, and it was funny because that video
was actually filmed a couple of weeks ago, because like I told you guys, I've been filming
a little bit in advance.
When I go to edit videos that are from a couple of weeks ago, I'm like.
I'm just, it's changed so much, you know, like I change very fast, I go through a lot
of stuff, so I'm not sure this filming in advance thing is working for me or not, but
I think it might work with certain topics that aren't really relevant to being in a
certain moment.
So we'll see how it goes.
But anyway, the last video I put up, was all this, I was on a, I was super into like, talking
about being positive, uh, how it's been changing my life, and it has, very much.
And it was just weird because I feel like right after I put up that video, I just felt
like all kinds of stuff started happening to like, bring me down.
I'm not gonna get into what it all is, just minor stuff, disagreements with people, a
lot of arguing with people online, and not fully comfortable accepting that goodness,
I think is what it is, and I think on some subconscious level there's all these fears
that something is gonna mess it up, and then we like, attract more of like, people that
are trying to challenge us in whatever ways of things about ourselves that are uncomfortable.
And the thing I'm most uncomfortable with about myself, is the fact that I don't fit
in, so it's just interesting how like, I was really vibrating very high, feeling great,
feeling on a great path, and then I right away attract these convos--either attract
or subsconciously get myself into these discussions that make me feel awful.
I mean, they don't make me feel like a bad person, they just make me feel like, completely
not understood by at least certain groups of people.
I know to some degree I do it to myself.
I'm going through another really big time of inner work and changing things and accountability
and I'm trying to see like ... I know I'm doing it to myself in some way because I seek
out discussions with people, I think just because I'm interested and it's stimulating
to me.
But the thing I've really come to see is just a lot of--I have to really think about what
serves me.
Because, there's discussions--it's kind of like what I was saying in the last video about
venting.
A lot of times we vent, and we think we have the right to vent, and we're mad, and we've
gotta like, vent out our emotions, and we have to say how we feel about stuff, and we
feel like we have the right to say how we feel about stuff, because someone's being
stupid to us, or someone's saying stupid crap to us, or someone's being mean to us, or something,
judging us unfairly, or, I don't know, criticizing us for the way we look, or something, there's
so many things it could be, you know?
But um, we often feel like we have the right to vent.
And we do have the right to vent or do whatever we want to do, but how much is that venting
really serving us, versus just making us focus on the bad, and feel bad.
So that was kind of the topic of my last video, and this is kind of similar in the sense that
it's like, seeking out online discussions with people, how much is it serving us?
And sometimes it might.
Sometimes you might want to learn something, sometimes you might be looking for someone
to help you change your mind about something.
Sometimes, you might just be trying to gain more compassion for someone else, uh, even
if they're very different than you.
If you go into an online discussion with a positive attitude, with wanting to truly understand
the people you're debating or discussing things with, you know, I think that could be a beautiful
thing.
And I'm sure that there will be times in the future that I do that again, and usually when
I do engage in online discussions, I try my best to be respectful, I try my best to understand,
and recently I had a big online clash I guess you could say with people.
I'm not gonna get into the subject matter of what it is because the entire point of
this video is how I want to stop doing this.
And I was kind of arguing back and forth and talking with these people for a while and
it was starting to become really clear that I don't agree with them, and I, well it was
clear from the beginning that I don't.
And I felt like...
It was hard for me, and it took me a while of thinking about it to really begin to process
why it was bothering me so much, and then I eventually figured out that what was bothering
me was that I don't think any of these people were open minded to learning anything about
my point of view.
I think they were ready to tell me I was wrong.
And I think they think their opinions are facts.
And this is sadly true for ... most, for many, it's true for a lot, and I really try to not
be this way.
I don't know if you guys remember, and first of all, let me just say, I'm not perfect at
this, there's been times I've said mean things to people online, there's been times I've
talked as if my way was the right way, I understand that.
Why like I made that whole video right after the election saying that we should try to
talk to Trump supporters and give them a chance to explain to us where they were coming from,
because it's not right to just say that our way is the right way, even if it seems insane
to us.
And like I said, I struggle with this, because I get very, very mad sometimes, and feel that
there is one right way, and that we're basically being destroyed by people who are going against
what's right.
I am not gonna change anyone's mind.
This discussion the other day, it really just showed me like, no one is gonna listen to
me, they don't care, and if they don't care, they don't care.
They have a right to not care.
It doesn't matter that they don't care.
What I need to do is stop getting into stressful, upsetting, negative conversations with people
who are not going to understand where I'm coming from, who clearly are not going to
make an effort to understand, and they're not open to ideas that aren't their own.
And I'm not even saying these particular people I was talking to.
I just mean like, anybody for the most part.
I mean, at this point, I guess the whole point I'm trying to say is that I'm realizing these
online discussions do not serve me, they bring me down, they continually manifest the feeling
that I've had my whole life, that I don't fit in, and that's a hard thing.
You know, this is a reason I have a lot of clashes.
Everything we do, we have to take inventory, and we have to be like, is this serving me?
I do think it serves me to say what I need to say, but I don't think that the back and
forth, like any sort of arguing, like I can just say what I need to say and then walk
out.
I mean, no one can make you discuss something.
Even if you became super famous, an interviewer could ask you, and you could just be like,
no comment.
I mean you don't have to talk about any kind of sensitive issue you don't want to talk
about.
So, I'll observe, and I'll listen to what people have to say, but I'm not going to give
my input.
But the good thing is, plenty of people do understand me, plenty of people tell me all
the time that they get where I'm coming from.
I'm going to be doing what makes me happy, what makes me feel vibrationally high and
good.
And that's what it's about, so yeah.
Wish the same for you guys, and thank you for listening to this.
I hope it made some sense and I don't know if anybody knows where I'm coming from.
But yeah, I love you guys, and I will see you guys in my next video.
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