hi everyone Alexis Parris here and you're listening to the empowered millennial
podcast episode 2 to provide people with the technology and connections they need
to achieve their dreams is the mission statement of our upcoming guests alright
so this week we have John Obidi as our guest he's based in Lagos Nigeria he's
someone who's expanded and who has dominated his space in a very short
period of time he has a Facebook community of over 35,000 people sharing
his message teaching them offering value so I'm so grateful that he's here with
us today you know we worked on a project together March of this year and I was
really able to see his heart for people the passion that he has to add value to
help people achieve their dreams and so I'm so grateful that he's in my circle
and I'm so grateful that he's here to share his value with you guys and I know
that you're gonna learn a ton so John are you ready yes I am Alexis alright
awesome so you know how everyone has a story right everyone has a business
story where they had nothing and they built something major buy more
interested in people's story when it comes to personal development who were
they before personal development and who were they afterwards I know for me
personally it was a complete 180-degree transformation um I was super
introverted I didn't talk to people I wasn't clear about what my purpose or my
mission was in life before personal development but after that a lot of
things shifted for me so I'd love for you to share who are you before personal
development and what happened to you afterwards so that's a great question
Alexis I used to be a programmer in my previous life well still this life but
many years ago I used to be a programmer and website designer and there's this
misconception or stereotype of programmers being very introverted
antisocial well that used to be my reality so I used to be very very shy
when people see me in my present reality they think I don't mean it when I say I
used to be literally very shy and not willing to
engage in public interactions but at some point I decided that I wanted a
change I didn't know what exactly I would be doing in my future but I had a
pretty good idea that it would be around helping people and transforming people
so I began to seek answers and somehow I stumbled upon the field of personal
development through a friend of mine and I stumbled upon the material that he had
I saw material from Brian Tracy Les Brown Eric Thomas and this was something
I had literally never heard about I mean my father was a preacher so if it's
about about my religion or my faith I knew pretty much about it but when
you're talking about the field of personal development as a study as a
body of knowledge as a science I was totally new to this about how you could
change your life all by yourself if you were willing to put in the work and I
began to put in the work I got some of jack canfield materials there was this
one called Chicken Soup for the Soul there was another one about self
confidence and I began to grow my capacity I began to expand my comfort
zones at that time my comfort zone was about maybe four to five people it was
that terrible but over time I began to give myself permission to expand that
and to put myself in those scary situations and over time it grew from
five to ten to hundreds and hopefully thousands and now I am able to
communicate my message with confidence and clarity and I am really glad I took
that step years ago and I talked to a lot of people all the time some people
have this burning desire to touch their world to reach people and personal
development is certainly the way to go awesome I love it I love it and I love
how you said hopefully thousands it guys if you don't know
gianni bini has a Facebook community that has thirty five thousand and ninety
nine people so he's definitely inspiring thousands he's definitely providing
people a lot of value and you know along the
personal development journey a lot of it is developing your mind and really
creating mind shifts that set you up for success and so I would love to know what
mine shift allowed you to go from being an average person to becoming great well
for me I wouldn't say it was one radical mind shift I think it was just a series
of things coming together in the right order right so a huge part of personal
development is rewiring your mind because most of what you know and think
most of how you act is based on your surroundings your environment most
especially your parents or your peers growing up or the schools you attended
who your teachers where all those things have formed you to become the person
that you are now right and as you embark on personal development you cannot just
rush off into personal development and be the person that you were made to be
you have to rewire those old habits those negative thinking patterns you
have to rewire your mind literally rewire your mind for success right so if
you were thinking if you were the sort of person who used to think negatively
we used to keep crowds that spoke in a crass fashion you would have to rewire
your mind toward the area of your highest achievements and one of the most
formative books that I read at that time was a book by James Allen which was as a
man thinketh that was the first personal development books that I read and
finished and it formed the foundation as a matter of fact I was watching a
YouTube video by John Maxwell about leadership and he just mentioned the
book as a man thinketh and said it's a very short book you can finish this to
this in a day so I paused the video got the book finished it and they went back
to the video yeah so it was a foundational book and I would recommend
this for anyone who is trying to find their path trying to find your
purpose and create a new lease of life so that was what I read and I began to
become more conscious I like to say that one of the best gifts that anyone can
give themselves is self-awareness and that book helped me do just that and
self-awareness is not just something that happens radically it happens over
time it's a process and somewhere on that journey you just find out that you
are becoming a new person you have growing capacity you have new desires
now you have new aspirations now so it's basically a journey of self-awareness
that led me to where I am right now not one radical thing but a series of things
a series of different pieces coming together at certain times to fit the
puzzle Jen could you pick out like a couple of them like a couple of specific
epiphanies that you had along the way that really um can contribute to where
you are well for me I don't think it was epiphanies as such but there's something
called reference points and having a reference point is basically having an
idea of what you what you want to achieve and connecting with a person who
has achieved that thing before so it makes it more real to you like if you
want to be a superstar tennis player and you have dinner with a person like
Serena Williams that is amazing reference point it tends
with fan your realms of the imagination and the reference point for me was when
I was able to meet Brian Tracy in person he came to Nigeria that was I think in
2011 or 12 he came to Nigeria and came to my city and I was privileged to be in
that meeting I met him took a picture he signed a book and I mean I had
followed his work for a long time so meeting him in person it was radical for
me it was really radical and that's why I say a lot of times that if you're
starting out on any career do what it takes to meet someone who has achieved
the same thing ten times over go to their City
Travel paid to be at their conferences reference points are amazing and they
really worked well for me it's good this guy chose not only mine shifts that
happened that that are giving you the ability to put you where you need to be
but it's also reference points meeting certain people that position you in a
way that will help you get on the specific path that you want to go which
is awesome and this is the thing too when you learn when you're studying
personal development you understand the importance of surrounding yourself with
the right group of people everyone's heard the statement you're the average
of the five people that you hang around with right and so when you go on the
personal development journey sometimes it's lonely sometimes you don't have
anybody sometimes it's like alright who do I speak to now and what are the
relationships that I should get into so that they can set me up for success so I
would love to know what are some requirements that you had when it came
to involving yourself in certain relationships right so this is never an
easy decision at the beginning cutting off people is not something that sounds
pretty you might feel like you're leaving people behind you might
sometimes feel like you're being ungrateful because these people may have
been useful to you in the past but it doesn't have to be something so radical
it can be a gradual process of repurposing your time and spending that
time with people who are on the same mission as you are and spending less and
less time with people who are simply not aligned with your purpose and not
aligned with your vision but some people I had to leave behind it not because
they're bad people not because they were doing anything
particularly sinister but we now wanted this loop we now wanted different things
right I wanted to build my competence in the field of personal development online
marketing and build my career and become that highly paid personal influence but
they were just okay doing what they were doing and had to respectfully refocus my
time on people who were focused on doing the same thing so a great way that I did
that was to go out and look for where clusters of innovation
personal development were happening and the events at the seminars of the
workshops I would go there I would network I would meet people and slowly I
started to fill my circle with people that were positive people who were
seeking to improve themselves and that's a really big deal on the road to
self-awareness and personal development you have to be around people who are
going where you're going otherwise it's just like two steps
forward ten steps back so good so good and as you are networking as you're
looking for groups for groups to be a part of in personal development personal
development events and things like that what did you see what are the areas in
yourself that you saw that you needed to work on the most you know for me I'll
give you an example so for me I know I had I had some level of confidence right
I was a dancer so I was confidence on I was confident on stage but when it came
to introducing myself to people or giving a presentation or even speaking
like it wasn't there it was non-existent right so that was an area for me then
you had to work on so what are some areas that you discovered that were you
know suffering as as a result of not developing yourself and then were able
to enhance themselves as you begin to develop yourself well it was the same
with me I mean I I'm not a person who was born with super self-confidence so I
have traditionally been the last to speak amongst any group of people and
hopefully you wouldn't see me so I would have to speak right so that's something
I had to push through and it was a hard laborious process but I knew it was
worth it all right so sometimes I would try to do
it you know your stomach would cringe you'd feel those butterflies in your
stomach but you just have to push through and then from running away from
it from hating it from hating public speaking I began to tolerate it like
that this and so bad and then I began to be okay with it and then I began to like
it and then I began to look forward to it
and then I began to seek it everywhere you know so that's something that I had
to put myself through no one maybe some people are just born confident but a lot
of people are not and you know so when someone once said that man has to makers
God and himself so you can learn anything anything can be learned
anything can be unlearned so that's something I had to I had to unlearn
those negative habits of of not being seeing seeing of having the best answers
but keeping them to myself of hiding my wisdom in the darkness I had to learn
how to let my light shine and speak up and also speak confidently and clearly
to large groups of people gotcha gotcha and so when you when you challenge
yourself to start speaking up I feel as though that the story in your head
changes about who you are sometimes we grow up in an atmosphere in a
circumstance that allows us to write this story of poverty or lack or you
know understanding that something's the things that we want aren't possible and
I know that when you develop yourself you have to change the story
you have to make it a story of prosperity and I was dumb enough
confident and so what's the story that you wrote for yourself or the story that
you you decide to tell yourself as you are growing to make sure that you would
end up here yes I mean the story I told myself and one that I encourage people
to tell themselves is that you have the answer that a lot of people are looking
for so why would you hide it and something else I would add to it that's
a bit radical is that for every second that you spend in willful helplessness
or willful ignorance someone else is paying the price of your disobedience
all right someone else in your picture is going to pay the price of your
disobedience and it gives you a sense of urgency like this is not about you
anymore there there are tons of people out there
who literally are hanging on a thread they need your words of comfort they
need your words of inspiration there are some people who are depending on your
success story to become their reference points and so they can succeed too so
that gives you a sense of urgency and also that you know this life is not all
about you so you might be asking yourself so why do I have to learn
public speaking why do I have to develop myself I'm just okay we're at where I am
well there are thousands of people or another okay there are people who might
commit suicide but for your message there are some people who are just
waiting to hear your message for them to come into their prosperity for them to
come into their deliverance there's some people who just need to see you smile
and admire you and be like I want to be like that person because of this person
I want to turn my life around that gives you a sense of for agency mm-hmm and
I've learned as well I can definitely pick at different points in my life
where I'm so grateful for the people who did what they were called to do and
purpose to you because it allowed me to go on my own personal development
journey you know and it's so important to understand like you said that your
life isn't really not for you it's for the needs of other people and what you
have what you have to offer the talents the gifts your abilities are here to
serve other people and help other people accomplish their dreams as well so this
is very very good and so I understand that reading is a foundational principle
it's something that you have to do it can separate you from being average and
from being average to being great and you have to do it something that you
can't skip over and so I love making sure that my library is full of
knowledge so I'd love to know what are the last two books that you've read ok
the last book that I finished was a book by Paulo Coelho
and it's titled The Alchemist and for anyone who is trying to find their
purpose in life you need to read that book it's an amazing book by the
Brazilian author Paulo Coyle hope I hope I pronounced that right so The Alchemist
was the last book I read which other one that I read before that I'm going
his other book titled manuscript found in Accra it's it's a work of fiction
that puts together his thoughts on life spirituality and all of that on personal
development though let me see what was the last book I read oh yes well I read
again the book by Robert Greene it's titled mastery mastery it's a great book
for anyone trying to become masters of their craft it goes into the lives of
people who have mastered their crafts before and helps you learn the habits
that they had so that you can model what works for you
gotcha very cool um I would definitely put the titles and the authors of the
books on this page so that you guys can fill your library as well and the last
question they were done is who would you recommend to be on this show anyone yeah
well one of two people maybe both people Brian Tracy and Eric Thomas okay make it
happen happen awesome well thanks so much for being on John I appreciate your
value and I hope that you guys listening learn something that you apply something
that you share it with other people as well because chances are the people in
your circle don't know what you know and you have something to give them as a
gift so um thanks again so much Don for being here do you have any final words
before we close out use what you have for what you have is plenty I love a
great quote a great quote and I will close out with my favorite saying be
great be awesome and do you every single day I'll talk to you guys later bye
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