It's the typical kind of thing that makes my french partner be like oh they're so
old school and I'm like wow so French I love it!
Salut YouTube if you guys have been following me on Instagram
you'll know the news - je suis madam! I announced that I was getting married
this summer in Avignon in France and it happened and it was awesome
and yeah it's another life in France experience to add to the list I guess
amongst the many that I seem to be collecting like Pokemon or something but
if you're subscribed you may be thinking that that video didn't come out so long
ago like wow that was quick it already happened so yeah we decided to get
married four months before it happened so it was quick for us too! Neither of us
were really interested in the traditional wedding ceremony
you know with the big dress and the cars and the cakes and the expense and the
one year of planning and all of those kinds of things. If I have the same amount
of money I'd far rather spend it on traveling or experiences so once we
basically decided that it's what we wanted to do we were like well we might
as well get on with it and do it, so that's what we did. So in this video I
just want to take you through a little bit around the preparations and the
lead-up to the wedding how that all worked and the day itself of course and
some of my kind of culture shocks about getting married in France and yeah what
it means for me now in my life in general. The lead-up to this was
pretty quick but as I said four months and we needed to get all of the
paperwork ready and all of that kind of thing. So as a foreigner it's kind of
tricky to get married here but definitely not as bad as I was expecting.
So we basically knew that the first step would be to give our application to get
married to our town hall in France. What you've got to know about getting married
in France is that the only place you can get legally married in France is in your
town hall in the Mairie, so you may want to get married in a church and you may
want to get married in a vineyard and you may want to get married at a castle
you can have a party on the moon for all they care but you won't be
actually getting married if that makes sense.
So the first decision you might think is which Mairie do you want to get married at?
And unfortunately for you you can't choose the cutest Mairie that you've
ever seen you know we can't all go to Hotel de Ville in Paris to get married
you need to go to your local Mairie, so your local town hall is either where
you live or where at least one of your parents live so for us we had the choice
between the 9th arrondissement in Paris, Avignon or Marseille for us.
We barely hesitated, the obvious choice was Avignon, it was where my
partner grew up, it's where his dad lives and we're actually super lucky because
on top of his day job his dad actually works part time for the Town Hall and
he's actually able to officiate wedding ceremonies so his dad was able to marry
us which was so cool and so we started getting all of the paperwork together to
have our appointment in Avignon and we had the appointment I think two months
before the wedding. The absolute minimum is 40 days and the reason for this is
that anyone who gets married in France needs to have been living in France for
at least 30 days by the time they publish the marriage banns and then the
marriage banns need to be published for a further 10 days so it's 40 days
minimum. So as far as French administration goes, gathering all of our
documents for the dossier was relatively straightforward we did have one problem
with the documents I needed translated. It's just one tip if you're preparing to
get married yourself is that the translations have to be done
by an official translator based in France for some reason that's very
important that they need to be physically based in France. So we turned
up for our interview as I said it was about two months before the wedding you
don't actually want it to be much earlier than that to be honest because
in France their birth certificates expire every three months which is just
a concept that blows Expat's minds because how can your birth certificate
expire, the informations never gonna change?! But actually in France they add
life events to a birth certificate so it's not just your birth certificate
but it's your life certificate if you ever have a civil union if you ever get
married if you get divorced if you have kids all of that kind of thing so
basically your documents like birth certificates are only valid for three
months anyway in the eyes of French administration so you don't actually
want to be organized and have your interview five months in advance because
then you're just gonna have to bring all the new documents the next time anyway
so that I would say two months was about perfect so what we did is that we
emailed all of the documents through in advance so that they had sort of a
digital copy this is when they told us that the translations weren't gonna work
so it was a very stressful and very expensive week getting those redone
again in France but we got them done and time for the interview and so the
interview is there basically to judge firstly if you have a complete file
(dossier) and then of course there's also like a judging if this is a
genuine relationship or not and it was at this meeting that I learned that I'd
be the very first New Zealander to be getting married in Avignon France!
I've never been the first something before I don't think you know like
the first ever to do something so I was like yeah. You also have to make a few
decisions in the interview like whether or not you'll be exchanging rings with
one another because this is a legal ceremony so that kind of thing is really
considered as an added extra which they'll have to account for timing wise
and everything so our dossier got accepted and we were given our projet de
marriage, our marriage project, which says who's getting married who are the
witnesses so you need to have at least two witnesses and a maximum of four, the
date the time and all of that kind of thing so the wedding itself was at 4:30pm
in the afternoon and the ceremony I think was about 15 to 20 minutes long I
think the shortest possible ceremonies are like 5 to 10 minutes long it's
literally when people get in, they read the civil codes from the law, say yeah
you're married and then they get on their way basically
and then you've got the longest possible of ceremonies where you know people do
speeches and they do speeches to each other and there's lots of photos being
taken and all that kind of stuff but basically you get a 30 minute slot
maximum so you've got 30 minutes to get in, get married, get out. For our particular
ceremony, it started with a beautiful speech from my partner's father that just had
me crying and crying and then you get on to the obligatory part which every
French wedding has to have which is reading the civil codes out loud and
these are things like article 236.8 you will both be implicated in the
raising of any children that you have and you know it's this kind of quite
old-school legal kind of thing I noticed that there were a lot of mentions of
children so it felt very old school it's like oh now that we're
married we can have children, can we? So it's very very protocol focused and the
codes get read, you get asked if you accept and agree and you say "oui"
hopefully and then you're declared married basically and you need to go and
sign your marriage certificate and your witnesses need to go and sign the
marriage certificate as well and it's over relatively quickly but then after
doing that can you do the extra stuff like we exchanged rings for example.
It was almost like you had the the peak of the ceremony because it was like voila
you're married and everyone's applauding and everything and then you exchange the
rings and you take photos and so on and then you basically leave the room and
you let the next couple who's waiting outside to come in and it's their turn.
One of the super cool things about getting married in France is you get the
Livret de Famille
It's like a marriage passport it has your names and details and date of birth and
all of that kind of stuff in it, it's got the details of all of our parents in
there it's got all of these pages so that you can write down the names and
details of any children that you may have so it becomes a kind of yeah like
family passport! It's the typical kind of thing that makes
my French partner go like 'Oh so old-school' and I'm like 'wow so French
I love it!' then after the ceremony we went back to my partner's dad's house
he's got a lovely countryside house in Avignon. It was very simple, we cooked the meal
ourselves for all of our guests, my friends and I made the cake and we also
bought like a miniature pièce montée as well, we put beautiful like fairy lights and
lamps and things in the trees and if you've seen my Instagram then you'll
see that I bought lots of balloons lots and lots of balloons and blew them up
with helium so I had balloons and some decorations and things like that but it
was it was like a simple garden party at home. We realized pretty early on that
it's a huge ask to ask our New Zealand friends and family you know
they've got jobs they've got kids they've got their their lives going on
with such short notice to just take their plane tickets come all the
way to France and we didn't want to put that kind of burden on anyone or that
financial burden on anyone so what we're doing is that we're going to replicate
kind of in New Zealand and we're going to have a an awesome party and stuff
with the family over there. Our parents and everything have already met so it's
absolutely fine. So we've already had our French day which was amazing and then
we'll have the New Zealand day as well. And then afterwards we had a one week
honeymoon in Corsica, France and then we're going to go down to
Queenstown in New Zealand. So that was the day, so glad it happened, really cool, also
glad that we don't have to do it again because there was a lot of planning even
if you want to have like a really simple day and you don't want to
have you know hundreds and hundreds of people there it still ends up being the
same that you can't possibly speak to everyone the time just flies by it's
emotional there's a lot going on.. it's a really happy day but also it's like oh
cool let's move on now let's be married that's cool. So what does this all mean
for me now because I've had a lot of people getting confused saying that oh you
know you you're French now or like oh you get your French nationality now and
that's definitely not how it works! Getting married in France doesn't give
you the French nationality I can apply for French nationality through marriage
four years following the date of marriage it doesn't matter how long we've been
together beforehand but what it means is that I now have access to a spouse visa
so I can come in and out of France without much hassle and that makes my
life easier in a lot of ways and then when you get married in France you have
the option to either take your partner's name as a woman so replace your surname
with their name or you can both carry both names if you want to but the
default is that you just keep each of your names separately that's what we'll
still be doing for now. I definitely will consider changing my name one day when
I have a reason to or and I feel like it's the right time but for now we're not in
any rush and we don't have any sort of impending need and honestly I just don't
want to deal with all the administration like new passport and new documents and
all that kind of stuff so for now I'm staying as I am and we'll see what the
future brings. So that's it for this video guys if you have any comments or
questions about my experience about getting married in France feel free to
ask me down below or on Instagram as well because I do answer all of my
Instagram DMs, that's a promise. Until then I'll see you guys in the next video!
Bisous et à bientôt!
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