Are you afraid of getting your first hater?
If you're an entrepreneur
and you're putting content out there
and getting more visible,
the fear of haters might be palpable.
In today's video I wanna talk to you about
how you can approach this fear of haters
a little bit differently.
As you get more visible in your business,
the possibility of pissing somebody off is, well, real.
And the fear of pissing somebody off
or ruffling someone's feathers can hold a lot of us back.
See, Hilda, that voice in your head who tells you you suck,
that inner critic with all of her nasty messages,
one of the versions of Hilda I call, "I Shouldn't Hilda."
You see, "I Shouldn't Hilda" is obsessed
with what everybody thinks about you
and she wants you to be obsessed with how you're perceived.
And when you do that you start behaving kind of robotically.
See, it flies in the face of what we're being told to do.
Be visible, be out there, be opinionated, be authentic,
be vulnerable but at the same time
be polished and professional.
How do you do all those things all at once?
I find it very difficult.
The truth is most of all of that be this, be that, be this,
be that is about worrying about
what other people are gonna think.
Yes, we're in business
and we don't want to turn off everybody.
And I am not inviting you to be hateful.
But what I am saying is that haters are gonna hate.
Taylor was right.
If we're obsessing about the possibility of a hater,
not enjoying our content,
then we're never really gonna push the envelope.
I want to flip the script
and really look at this from a different way.
The way that we do it in my coaching practice
is we actually celebrate our haters.
We look forward to the opportunity to have what we call,
the Hater Dance.
Oh yes, there's a Hater Dance.
So let me explain what the heck this is.
Look, when you have a hater, it kinda sucks.
It doesn't feel good to get that piece of feedback
or that book review or their comments
on your YouTube channel.
Yeah, I got one of those this week
on the kiss my typos video.
It's pretty exciting.
But most people are not excited by that.
Most people are freaked out by the fact that they've got
a negative review.
And they feel that they've gotta figure out the perfect way
to respond to that piece of negativity
and give it all of their time and attention
and they obsess about anybody
not finding everything they do really great.
If you do that I Shouldn't Hilda wins.
Because now obsessing about that one person
who didn't dig your content means
you're not spending all of your time and energy
on all of the other people
who might dig your next piece of content.
So the Hater Dance is this, it's very simple and ridiculous.
A lot of what I do is ridiculous on purpose.
The Hater Dance is whenever one of my coaching clients
gets a hater I invite them to call me,
to let me know immediately.
We're gonna hop on camera and dance it out
like we're Meredith Grey and Cristina Yang
from Grey's Anatomy.
Because getting a hater is worthy of celebration.
I'm gonna say that again.
Getting a hater is worthy of celebration.
You see when you have your haters,
it's a sign that you're visible.
It's a sign that you're not just visible
but your word is getting out about you.
It means that your content is getting in front of eyes
that maybe it's not really meant for and that's okay
because you're shaking the world by its shoulders.
You're saying something, you're showing up,
you're making an impact.
Isn't that why we got into business in the first place?
So I invite you whenever you experience a hater,
to instead of obsessing about
how you're supposed to respond to it,
don't freakin' respond.
Let it go and go and dance it out with a best friend.
Like truly,
just celebrate the fact that you are so visible
and so out there that somebody felt the need to tell you
how much they didn't care for what you did.
It actually isn't fatal and you'll be perfectly fine.
Once you shift your focus to the fact that that means
you're doing something that matters.
Thank you so much for tuning into this video.
My name is Coach Jennie and if you haven't yet,
please subscribe to this channel and click that little bell
so that you get a notification the next time I drop a video.
And be sure to watch them all the way to the end
because there are always bloopers.
Cue the bloopers please.
And if you fall into her trap,
you're never going to do something important
that I was meaning to say there.
Hi!
How's it going?
- [Man] Not bad (mutters).
- Oh yeah absolutely, do your thing.
And if you ever need some more help,
let me know I am here for, what?
The possibility of pissing somebody off grows infinitely.
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