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Hello and welcome back to the No B.S. NLP Podcast.
My name is Nicholas Rave and this...
Morgan: Is Morgan Lane Bennett
Nicholas: and we are here to help you get
NLP out of your head and into the world.
In today's episode we are going to be
talking about your unconscious mind.
The title of this episode is "Meet Your Mind" OR...
"The Ultimate NLP Technique!"
I know that might be a bit of a lofty statement
but I think we're gonna be able to prove it by the end of this episode.
So in this episode the top three things that you're gonna get from investing your time in
either listening or watching this podcast the first one is that we are
going to demystify the unconscious mind. This is one of those topics that gets
talked about in NLP and hypnosis trainings ad nauseam and people get so
confused about it what is your unconscious mind really what is your
mind really and who are you in relation to your unconscious mind we're gonna
demystify your unconscious and then we're gonna re mystify your unconscious
so the second thing you're gonna get out of this podcast is you're gonna learn
how to quiet that critical voice inside your mind whatever that voice is saying
you're not enough you're a piece of shit you suck whatever that is that voice can
be silenced and changed to something different we're going to show you how to
do that and then the third thing is the single most powerful tool I have ever
discovered in NLP or otherwise for personal empowerment it is for you or
for your client it is the number one thing that I teach every single client
that I work with it is the way that you teach people to fish and if I may as we
were coming up with this podcast I think I've added on to that metaphor or
analogy so you know we all know how it goes give somebody a fish and
you feed them for a day teach someone to fish and you feed them for life
but I think the next level is help a person become a fish and they don't need
to fish anymore be the fish see the fish see the fish all that and more in
today's episode but first a word from our sponsors hi it's me I'm the sponsor
so in order to fund this podcast I've created two amazing new programs
designed to help you take your NLP and hypnosis skills to the next level the
first is a program I actually started running at the beginning of this year
called the NLP dojo the dojo is a hands-on practice and skill building
program where you can get personal feedback on your process in real time
from me it's a super small group program and is exclusively for practitioners and
master practitioners and right now I have three spots available the second
program is called the NLP bootcamp and it is a monthly full-day virtual
training where we cover specific topics all the important topics in NLP like sub
modalities or the Milton model or parts it's different every month and I call it
a bootcamp because it's half content and half
practice so whether you are already a master or you're one of the many people
I've talked to who feel like you took the trainings but you didn't walk away
with the confidence to really make use of your investment I've designed these
programs specifically for you now this is literally the first time I'm
mentioning either of these publicly up till this point they've been by
invitation only so I don't even have websites up for these programs yet but
if you're interested you can email me at Nicholas at
Nicholas rave calm Thanks and now back to the show okay welcome back to our
podcast about your unconscious mind you know not too long ago I was reading a
book by a guy named sam Harris one of my favorite authors favorite like brains on
the planet he wrote a book called waking up and as I was reading that book he got
into this chapter where he was talking about the mind and he was talking about
people who get a very specific and and unusual procedure they don't do it a lot
anymore but they used to do it as a treatment for epilepsy it's called a
hemispherectomy it's where they literally cut the connective tissue of
your brain from the right and left hemispheres and what happens is in
certain people who have untreatable epilepsy when you do this the epileptic
seizures go away and at first they seem fine and it was like this miracle cure
that people discovered I wondered a lot about the first person who did that they
were just like I wonder what happens if we got an idea yeah anyway so what they
found though is that after these people had this procedure done some weird stuff
started happening and he went on to describe how these people when you ask
them questions they would do these these tests and experiments where you would
ask them a question and they would give you two answers literally their left
hand would give you one answer and their right hand would give you a different
answer like there were two voices inside and one of them was not aware of the
other one there's a great video on YouTube about this by the way called you
are to look it up watch it it's fantastic it explains it way better than
I'm explaining it here but the bottom line is he got to the end of explaining
all this and a bunch of other things and at the very end of the chapter Sam wrote
the bottom line is this your unconscious mind is real and in that moment I became
aware of something that I didn't know I didn't realize that for years I had been
talking about and teaching about the unconscious mind but there
was a part of me that didn't believe that it was real and in that moment for
some reason Sam was the voice of the scientific skeptical community to me and
for some reason it hit and I went wait a minute what if it is real and I really
tried that on and it kind of broke my brain and for a few weeks
I just rattled around on this idea because here's the thing
I believe that understanding the structure and nature of your mind / your
unconscious mind is one of the most important foundations to be able to get
results from NLP and hypnosis because ultimately your unconscious mind is to a
large extent whatever you think it is yeah I mean what's in there is only what
you bring right because it's that Empire Strikes Back the trippy part of Empire
Strikes Back there's one of your lights what's going on here but eventually you
got makes sense where it's like what's inside there only what you bring inside
it'll be a reflection of you it's a place where your essence turns and you
can see yourself for viewer and while it might be like blue Luke Skywalker's mine
the darth vader's maybe my own face and stuff like that because your unconscious
mind will present you with the things in the trickiest most meaningful way
because it understands the most meaningful things that it can say to you
now we did say at the beginning that we're actually going to teach you a
technique a process in this episode and that's true this is to me it has become
my new Swiss Army knife for NLP and working with clients because and one of
my favorite things about it is that once you teach it to someone it works on its
own and it gets going so that when they come back the next week first of all it
saves me so much time of like doing other work but it's also something where
when somebody really gets it and they really embrace it and they start using
it they come back the next week having done a ton of work so that when I jump
in we just keep the ball rolling it is a Swiss
Army knife of NLP change work so we're gonna talk about that technique and
we're gonna get to it at the very end of the episode so before there we got some
groundwork to lay so let's begin with what are you what are you know what is
your mind what is the mind what are the components of the mind so for this for
the purposes of this podcast we're gonna be addressing three basic parts of the
mind we're gonna talk about the conscious mind the unconscious mind and
something called the critical faculty now I want to pause you right now if
you've ever heard anyone talk about these three things I encourage you to
stick around because I can pretty much guarantee you you've never heard anybody
talk about these things in the way that you're about to hear right now
so those three components the conscious mind the unconscious mind and the
critical faculty that's what we're doing here so it's important to realize that
your mind is what you think it is your mind is whatever you think it is and
that's how it works and the most important thing to remember is that that
thought itself everything we're going to tell you about the mind the unconscious
mind the critical factor faculty your mind is just well done here's a good way
to do it so those three things right right so that way you just reference
what I just said you can say so those three things your mind okay it's
important to understand it's just whatever you think it is yeah and that's
why we're talking about these maps and metaphors them yeah so those three
things your mind your conscious mind your unconscious mind your critical
faculty all of those things your mind itself is whatever you think that it is
and it's super important to realize that that's just a metaphor everything we're
talking about here is just a metaphor yeah this useful way of thinking about
stuff it's not real the map is not the territory right I know that
right so don't confuse yourself by thinking that what we're gonna show you
later is real because for you to understand the power of the technique
the Nicholas is gonna show you later you have to understand the power of pretend
the power of make-believe the magic of make-believe right that's fine works
this is why we did the previous episode where we talk about pretend before we
get here right for this for this technique to be safe you have to realize
that it's make-believe and for it to work you have to realize that it's
make-believe yeah it's pretend yes and that's the amazing thing about
it yep but you have to understand ultimately your mind is and isn't
whatever you think it is and isn't at the same time you know I mean it's like
that's the paradox we talked about yeah it isn't isn't real it isn't isn't
happening yes right and for example the prime directives of the unconscious yeah
right they are a wonderful thing they're a great list of job descriptions of your
unconscious mind but they're not real that's not a list of stuff it's just a
useful map this comes back to a point that you've heard us mention a few times
it seems to be a running theme here which is the concept of paradox a lot of
the confusion about the nature of the mind is because the mind is very
paradoxical you can think of it one way and it'll be that way and you can go oh
well I proved it and then you can think of it another way and you proved that
too so ultimately the best way that i have
found to explain the mind to people in the unconscious is to give a whole bunch
of different descriptions of the mind and then some of them contradictory some
of them seem to conflict with each other but when you hear all of them and then
you kind of chunk up abstract get a bigger broader view of all of them you
may have a some idea of what the mind actually is like that's still not the
mind none of the ways that we're going to
describe it is actually what it is so what is your unconscious well it's 90
plus percent of you first of all it is everything you're not thinking about
right now if you had to think about all the things
you're not thinking about right now digesting your breakfast growing your
hair working your pancreas blinking beating your heart just the name of five
making sense of language the the sounds that are coming out of our mouths right
now another clarification I want to make about something that it's not is it
doesn't it is not the right and left hemispheres just to be clear I know I
told that story earlier it's better to just to say that people who have had a
hemispherectomy they actually end up with more like two unconscious minds and
then they still have a conscious mind that kind of floats around in there but
it's not accurate to say some people I've heard of say oh well they're
unconscious monitors the left hemisphere and the conscious minds the right
hemisphere that's bullshit it doesn't work that way good book on this topic by
the way is a book called the master and his emissary is one of the best books
written on the nature or the misconceptions about the right and left
hemispheres so the best way like I said that I've found for people to understand
the unconscious is to share a series of metaphors to describe the mind and the
nature of the conscious and unconscious and how they work together and through
the combination of these different descriptions you will start to get a
sense of what is going on here so you want to go the first one yeah so my
favorite metaphor for this one of my favorite metaphors for this is captain
in the ship right you're a ship at sea or there's a ship at sea and it's got a
captain and a crew right and so what is what is a captain without a crew the
captain is there to give orders to the crew but the crew is there to serve the
captain to get things moving so the captain says here's that here's where I
want to go and he has to give the orders clear orders to the crew to get them
there and something that's kind of a mind blow for me or at least it was back
in the day and it's something I like to blow my clients minds with as I share
this with people is that so if your conscious mind is the captain your uncut
you can think of your unconscious mind as the crew but it's also the ship which
was like for me Wow wait your unconscious mind is the
crew and the ship and you can think of like if the conscious mind is cruel to
the crew if the captain is cruel to its crank a pirate captain right very if
your captain is cruelty to if you have you're not giving it clear orders if
your reprimanding and if you're telling it's crap
well there's bound to be a mutiny right so if the captain the conscious mind
treats the unconscious mind like shit you're bound to create some kind of
mutiny aka dis-ease now on the other hand know if the captain is really nice
to its crew right if it's like hey guys and everybody the morale is through the
roof yeah and everything's super efficient they're like yes sir yes ma'am
let's go where do you want to go and everything shipshape and everybody's
yeah directions smooth sailing all that stuff beautiful metaphors the really
thought that the conscious mind is the captain the unconscious mind is the crew
and the ship's I mean there's a reason why ships have been run with a captain
and a crew for hundreds maybe thousands I don't know of years and they still are
to this day because it works and to me I think the key there is like trust and
respect between the captain and the crew now
let's that's the first metaphor okay so you can think of your conscious and your
unconscious as the captain and the crew on a ship on the ocean now I'm gonna
give you another one that's also nautical but I'm gonna make it even
smaller and simpler imagine that you have a rowboat on the ocean and there
are two people just two in the boat there's the conscious mind which is you
and you are facing forward and you have your hand behind you on the rudder so
you can see where you're going and you're steering the ship but there's
another person in the boat and they are the ones rowing the boat but most people
don't even believe there's another person in the boat can you imagine how
fucking insulting that would be if you're the only reason that the boat
moves ever and the person who's running the boat the person who's like here
looking out they're not doing really any other work never even acknowledged as
you exist unless things are going badly in which case
they then take one of the rows one of the ORS and beat the fucking crap out of
the other person and then put it back and then when anything goes right
they're like that was me I did it I'm the one who did everything correctly but
if things go badly its I wasn't me I don't know I can't get my mind to do the
things that I want it to do this is another metaphor that you can think of
but here's one of the things I love to say you can't divorce your unconscious
you can't throw your unconscious mind overboard you aren't going anywhere if
you don't learn how to work together yeah
which kind of reminds me of another one number three number three is an ant
walking south on an elephant that's walking north so which direction is that
ant going it thinks it's going that way but really it's going this way because
the conscious mind aka the ant it's like I want over here but if the unconscious
mind is like over here then that ants not going where it thinks it needs to go
and so the only way to turn that ship around and get it going where you want
it to go it's clear communication from the ant to the elephant because that's
that's a thing I mean ant can't like tell you elephant right and and it's
even cooler if you think that the elephant is blind it doesn't really know
where it's going it's just going where it wants to go where it thinks it's
supposed to go in the last direction it was pointed but the ant no matter where
it thinks it's walking on that elephant needs to go hey hey hey buddy I your
cool guy nice to meet y'all fit hey can we go that way
then we could both be going the same direction I love that one because the
size difference between the ant and the elephant I think it instills a lot of
humility in people and it really starts to get the sense of like how powerful
are you in comparison to your unconscious okay
ready for the next metaphor here's another one that I like that gets a
little bit more sci-fi so I want to talk about a metaphor for understanding how
the conscious mind emerges from the unconscious now again this is a metaphor
I'm not saying this literally happens it's just a really useful story to help
you think about the relationship of all the aspects of your mind so imagine
that you have a giant supercomputer a supercomputer that is so big and so
powerful that it's the size of an entire planet okay and it has all of these
different systems and subsystems and it's been around for hundreds maybe
thousands of years just adding to itself and building and growing and learning
and then at some point it decides that in order to organize everything that
it's gonna design a little tiny artificial intelligence program that
lives inside that the supercomputer and it has one job and it's one job is to
organize communication between the inside and the outside and that's what
it does and as soon as the supercomputer builds this little artificial
intelligence program everything starts working so much better it gets so much
more done it's so more efficient it's amazing and a thousand years pass and
one day the little artificial intelligence program forgets that it is
a little artificial intelligence program and it begins to think that it is the
entire computer you are the little artificial intelligence program one of
my favorite ways to think about this is that your unconscious mind built a you
because it needed you but it built you and it was here first before you were
and if you think about the way the mind develops as children it makes a lot of
sense again it's a metaphor but this leads me to what the heck are you
what is the conscious mind now I've saved this metaphor for last because I
actually think this is probably the most accurate description of the nature and
relationship of your conscious and unconscious my
it might not be the most useful metaphor but it's one of the most accurate so I
want you to imagine we're answering the question what are you
what's the conscious mind what is the conscious mind really imagine you have a
giant warehouse an infinite warehouse it is infinitely big and 100% completely
pitch black it's full of stuff but you can't see anything and you are there
inside the warehouse with a flashlight whatever you point the flashlight at
that is your conscious mind that is what you are conscious of right now and when
you move the flashlight that thing that you were conscious of goes back into
your unconscious so we're gonna talk paradoxically here ready I just went
through all these metaphors we just went through all these metaphors of what your
unconscious is and now I'm gonna tell you you don't really have an unconscious
mind and a conscious mind you just have a mind some of which you are conscious
of and the vast majority of which you are unconscious of this is why I like to
say your unconscious mind is way more you than you are you I would even go so
far as to say you are effectively a part that was created by your unconscious
mind to fulfill a specific purpose but that's you when I say you I mean the you
that you experience yourself as but you are not your unconscious in its entirety
and you are also not the voices in your head so let me tell you a very quick
story before I hand it over to Morgan for the next point for most of my life
there were lots of voices in my head that's normal
but there was one voice that was above all of them it was a voice that I
thought was me I thought it was my voice and when all these other voices would
say things and we'd say we this voice would come in and it would say no and I
would go out I can't do anything because that voice is effectively God in my head
so Morgan tell me about that voice well it's not God and yet it is because it's
you mm-hmm but ultimately that voice that voice of reason the voice of
judgement that is your critical faculty right that's your critical faculty your
critical faculty is a function of your unconscious mind it's basically like a
troubleshooting mechanism like said a program it's just there on top going but
if that's the only thing you look through is your troubleshooting
mechanism then all you're gonna find is trouble and the thing is you know that
that pattern the voice in your head that says you should be better you should be
better you know or you suck you suck you suck that comes from a good place
I help a lot of people with this where the part of you that might currently be
saying you suck you piece of shit might have started off saying be a better
person better serve you right it wanted you to be better and maybe eventually
you started to react well to being verbally abused you know it get your
shit together asshole and like yeah okay I better get my shit together asshole
but eventually if you start talking to yourself like that then that's your
self-talk at which point the irony goes out the window and you're just abusing
yourself and you're no longer motivated by something positive now you're just
getting berated by yourself and that is a hypercritical faculty and I don't know
if I can emphasize how profound this point that
as making here is when you really get that that voice the voice of reason the
voice of judgement the critical voice the voice that says this is right and
this is wrong this is good and this is bad this is true and this is false when
you get that that voice is not you it's just a voice in your head sometimes it's
wrong you start to get this kind of Buddhist detachment where you can
recognize thoughts and emotions as they cross through your mind and not identify
with them when you identify with the critical faculty and you say that is me
you put it on a pedestal you deify that voice okay I think it's time that we
finally get to the actual technique remember I told you we were gonna give
you the Swiss Army knife technique the the number one technique that I know for
teaching my clients how to fish or how to be come the fish here it is personify
your unconscious mind so now I got to tell you a story a continuation of the
story about that book remember I was reading the book your unconscious mind
is real and for weeks I was thinking about this and I was wrestling with it
and I was like trying on it was like something broke open but it took a
little while a few weeks later I was going through a very very intense
meditation on all day meditation and I had addressed a bunch of different
things in my mind I wasn't one of them is that I realized that that voice of
criticism and reason was not me and I D throned it and then I started thinking
about stuff and it was about 3 a.m. and I went walking outside and I had this
thought your unconscious mind is real and I said in
hello and then a voice came back and at first my unconscious was very very angry
with me she said you have ignored us we were supposed to be a team and you have
abused us and you have effectively ruined your life because you forgot
about us and then she got sad she said when we were young we used to play
together all the time every day we had infinite worlds in our universe that we
explored together and we knew that life was gonna be an adventure that we were
gonna go on together and then you forgot
but here's the beautiful thing about unconscious Minds
one of the many beautiful things they are very forgiving because they
understand better than we do that there's no getting out of this
relationship you have to figure out how to work together so I let her vent for a
long time about how mad she was this is a skill I learned from being married for
a while I've learned how to listen to things that hurt and go ouch okay how is
what she just said true instead of getting defensive and she
said finally after she finished venting I said what do I do and she said give me
name and I said why don't you just tell me your name and she said it doesn't
work that way and I said who says and she said people older than you I don't
know who she was talking about but I resisted it for several weeks because I
kept thinking I was gonna do it wrong which by the way that's the critical
faculty the critical faculty is the part of you that thinks things can be done
right and wrong so finally I came up with a name and I said what about this
and she said that'll do for now but we didn't talk much during that time
because I hadn't figured out the name and then finally one day a few weeks
later the name popped into my head and I went what about and I said her
name and I had this feeling inside that it was as if I had found a precious
jewel or a crown and I had brought it to her and she looked at me and she said
you found it and that was when everything in my life changed because I
started to be able to talk to my unconscious and I started to be able to
ask questions I started to listen to my unconscious when I wanted to do a swish
pattern' or in two great parts I just asked her if she could do it and she
would do it because your unconscious mind knows how to do everything that you
know how to do and so much more now it's very important at this point that I
remind you that your unconscious mind is not real but man when you pretend that
it is magic can happen now one quick clarification is why is my unconscious
mind female I have actually found that for
the majority of people that I work with both men and women have a tendency to
respond better to their unconscious mind being personified as female there are
some ideas that I have about why this might be related to the aspects of your
mind being yin and yang and all this kind of stuff ultimately the reality is
it's not male or female it just is but the point is that just like with with
manifesting a part if you're working with that
the more real the more vivid that it is the better you're gonna be able to
relate to it yeah I mean mine wasn't female line isn't female it's not male
either it's and it's not trans it's just it's beyond sex for me it was beyond
sexuality personally but I appreciate that it's you know a little more Yin a
little more female totally dig it so Morgan can you talk a little bit about
why you think this works so well yeah so more on like a nuts and bolts kind of
level I see this as an intentional parts disintegration for the purposes of
reintegration right I mean a lot of people would say now we need to smash
everybody into one part but clearly we're saying
clonk here's a part it's a part of you pertain part right remember yeah we're
not splitting you into multiple personality right this isn't real
you got to know what the difference is between the map and the territory but if
you can for the purpose of giving it a voice for the purpose of being able to
express gratitude for it if you can separate out your unconscious mind and
personify it it basically is the art of self influence of self it's no holy crap
what more could you do then go okay hey I love you I love you too okay are we
good friends let's be friends and then they can come back in it's yeah it's a
it's a meta metaphor for metamorphosis oh fuck yes so I wanna I wanna to
emphasize this point as clearly as we can because we're really talking about
here is we're saying like pretend that you're multiple personalities but
understand that you're not like know that ultimately you are just you you are
one but you've got pretend do you think you're talking to when
you're talking to yourself right exactly still you so I want to clarify this with
one last metaphor imagine for a moment that you are sitting in a room inside
your mind and there's a table and there's a chair on either side of the
table and you go sit at one of the chairs okay you're in a room there's a
table and two chairs you're sitting on one side and I want you to imagine on
the other side of the table is Abraham Lincoln now if you can imagine that I'm
fairly certain that you would not argue with me when I say you know that's not
really Abraham Lincoln right that is your unconscious Minds best attempt to
create Abraham Lincoln with it's beautiful amazing virtually infinite
imagination and it could be Abraham Lincoln it could be obi-wan Kenobi it
could be Jesus or Gandhi or Buddha sitting across from you on that table
and by the way this is a technique that Napoleon Hill wrote about in Think and
Grow Rich in his master mind concept and the crazy thing is this works if you do
this and you present questions to this imaginary character Albert Einstein or
whatever you frequently find that number one it it answers in ways that you
wouldn't have thought of and number two it answers in ways that are similar to
how you think that person would answer and this is an awesome tool to basically
be able to channel people and access resources of your imagination in your
unconscious that you couldn't otherwise access now in the same way that if
Abraham Lincoln sitting across the table you know that's not really a
I want you to imagine you're there you're sitting in the chair there's the
table and in the other chair is your unconscious mind sitting across from you
that is not your unconscious MA that is your unconscious minds best
attempt to create a personification of itself so you can talk to it do you want
to know where your unconscious mind really is in that scenario
look around the room that is your unconscious which is just the ocean
where you can be when you are the fish be the fish so there's only one step in
this process give your unconscious mind a name peace love and NLP hey there
Nicolas here thank you so much for watching this episode
NLP geeks like you are exactly the reason we decided to make this podcast
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