Khaire, guys! How are you?
My name is Patricia Fagundes and this is Mythology As You've Never Seen!
And today's episode is...
The Theogony - Part 02
Last episode I started to tell the creation myth present in Hesiod's Theogony
Today we'll continue walking by this road of incestuous prominences, promoted by Eros.
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Well, so let's continue our little tale...
We saw that Uranus wouldn't let his children leave Gaia's womb, the poor lass...
She felt a lot of pain!
Imagine you getting pregnant of eighteen HUGE creatures
and never being able to give birth to them?!
IT MUST BE SO PLEASANT, RIGHT?!
Gaia decides to elaborate an evil plan.
From her guts, she forged a steel or silica sickle, depending on the source
And asked her children, the Titans, to help her get a revenge on Uranus
My children with a reckless father
if only you agree to obey me
We would avenge the evil outrage of this father of yours
for he first devised
unseemly deeds!
But...
...nobody wanted to help! :')
BUT WAIT!
Cronus, the mischievous brat, is the only one that decides to help her out.
Mother, I promise that I will bring to completion, this deed
since I do not care for that ill-named father of ours
For he first devised unseemly deeds!
So Cronus took the sickle and hid in a corner
waiting for his father to come at night for one more session of "baby production fair"
sponsored by Eros.
It didn't take too long and there he was, the naughty one
Without hesitating, Cronus takes his father Johnson with the left hand
and with the right hand, holding the sickle, he went down the steel
ripping mr. Uranus Jr off
with no mercy or compassion!
Due to the fright and the pain, Uranus jumped up high and went up above
and up there he remained forever
intimidated like a frightened little cat
And it was from up there that he pointed his finger to the Titans
more specifically to Cronus
and cursed him for the crime he perpetrated
You stretched with a great recklessness
to accomplish a huge deed, and for it retribution
shall be laid up for the future !
Cronus, looking scared at his father, after leaving Gaia
thinking about what type of sinister prophecy was yet to come
noticed, at last, that he was still holding the boy mr. Uranus Jr.
and throw it at the sea
HEY!
The blood that splashed from the butchered limb spilled on the fertile land and originated more creatures
The three Erinyes
Alecto, Tisiphone and Megaera
Horrible beings of the infernal world
avengers of crimes, torturer of sinners
There were also the Giants, huge and violent beings, already armed for war
And lastly, the ash tree nymphs: the Meliae
Now, the sea foam in contact with mr. Uranus Jr.
in a "come and go" movement...
gave birth to Aphrodite
goddess of love and beauty.
After all these family brawls there were still MORE GODS to emerge
It could be the lack of a television, couldn't it?!
There was not much to do, right?!
And then... there.... there.... there was nothing to...
Right?!
Yeah?!
:')
Pontus generated Nereus, father of the bazillion Nereids
And after that he even united with his own mother, Gaia, for one more "not-at-all" bizarre incest session
giving birth to gerando Thaumas, Phorkys, Keto and Eurybia.
That on their turn, united themselves in a cubed incest to generate more creatures
that if I keep on listing here, this video will end in 2094...
hehe
So just to basically summarize, I'll just tell you that all sort of monsters dizer que toda a sorte de monstros
came from this sea lineage
Including the Gorgons
the Harpies
and the Cerberus
that apparently had...
fifty heads...
The sources vary in the quantity of heads that Cerberus had
by the time of the Roman poets the number had already been fixated in three
but to Hesiod...
there were fifty!
The Titans also got excited on this naughty life of lust
and made lots of couples
Hyperion and Theia generated
Helios, the sun
Selene, the moon
and Eos, the aurora
By the way, with the liberation of all these folks from Gaia's womb
time started to function in cycles
and Nyx and Hemera started to alternate in the sky and at the Tartarus
Eos united with Astraeus
that was Crius and Eurybia's son
and generated the winds:
Boreas, of the north
Notos, of the south
and Zephyr, of the west
and to the hell with the east...
u.ú
URGENT, URGENT!
Patricia Fagundes used an incomplete source!
It seems that she forgot about the existence of one of the winds.
Uh-hum...
Right.
ALRIGHT!
YEAH!!!
Guys... Come with me! Come with me!
She... ahm... (ah, ah)
We were able to get in touch with... (ah, ah)
(C'mon cameraman, come...) (ah, ah, ah, ah)
We were able to get in touch with one of the winds
C'mon... (ah ah)
RUN! (ah, ah!)
Good afternoon, sir.
What is your name, sir?
I am Eurus, the east wind.
And how do you feel about being left BEHIND?
THIS IS ABSURD!
IT IS OUTRAGEOUS!
JUST BECAUSE I'M NOT MENTIONED IN THE THEOGONY IT DOESN'T MEAN I DON'T EXIST!
SHE NEEDS TO LEARN HOW TO STUDY PROPERLY! Ò.Ó
Yeah... that is really... it's really sad.
Now let's go back to the normal agenda, please.
Thanks a lot, guys!
They've also generated Eosphorus, the morning star
and all the other stars in the sky.
Non-satisfied with Nereus, Gaia and Pontus sea lineage
Oceanus and Tethys decided to increment it with
THREE THOUSAND RIVERS
AND THREE THOUSAND OCEANIDS
Merely.
Oceanids are aquatic nymphs.
Iapetus united with another Oceanid, Clymene
and generated Atlas
Prometheus
Epimetheus
and Menoetius
I think I might be having a stroke...
Let... let me breathe a little...
Let me breathe a little over here!
Finally, we have the most important couple so far
Cronus and Rhea
Cronus was still afraid of Uranus' curse
strongly believing that he'd somehow lose the power he conquered when he castrated his father
Because of that, he kept imprisoned in the Tartarus his brothers Cyclopes and Hecatoncheires.
And even put a monster there to guard them
called Campe.
Besides that, he strengthened his ties with his sibling Titans
and got scared of the children he'd have with Rhea.
Recalling what happened when Uranus kept them locked away inside Gaia's womb
Cronus decided that it'd be much wiser if HE swallowed his children
and kept them locked away inside himself
THAT'S IT!
Great idea!
I'm really a GENIUS!
Every child that Rhea gave birth to
she was forced to serve as an afternoon meal to him
Cronus swallowed:
Hestia
Demeter
Hera
Hades
and Poseidon
When Rhea was pregnant with Zeus, her youngest
she was already sick of all that and decided to ask for her mother's, Gaia, help
Mommy! Oh mommy!
Please, help me hide my son!
I BEG YOU!
Sure thing, my child.
You can leave it to me, I'll hide you in a random cave in Crete
and you leave the baby with some crazy nymphs there
and it will all be alright.
OH, MOMMY!
But if I go back empty-handed... Cronus will know!
What should I do, MOMMY?
Relax, your husband is as smart as a wooden door...
wrap a goddamn rock on a diaper
and he won't even notice the difference.
Are you serious?
Actually, no. I was joking...
but it'd be hilarious if you tried and it worked!
So Rhea did what Gaia advised her to
(she didn't really have a better plan)
It seems genuine.
And boy... you won't believe this!
Did you know it ACTUALLY worked out?!
AUHEUAHEUHEUHEAHUAEHUEAHUEHUHEAUHAEUHEAUHEUAHEUAHUEAUAEHUEHUEAHUEAUHEAUHAEUHE
So Zeus is safe
and I'll stop this video here.
We'll continue the story next week.
I hope you liked this video
Please share it with all your friends.
Let's spread Zeus' word through the web!
I'll post videos every Tuesday at 10:00am sharp (GMT-3)
so don't forget to activate the notification bell!
On my other channel, Patricia Fagundes, I post music videos, covers and original ones
gameplays and drawing tutorials, among other even more random stuff
Go check it out as well!
And if you like to read, I have a fantasy book published, called Enfynie
and another, with mythological content, called The Journey, published online, for free.
To wrap it up, a final question...
If you were the king of all this, what would you do to avoid being dethroned?
And always remember...
be creative!
What?
This is just ham...
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