What's up my shnugs?
I made a video shitting on Pixar the other day, at the end of the video I predicted that
Incredibles 2 would be bland and forgettable.
Just another standard pixar member movie.
Ever since then, I've been berated with comments saying how wrong I was and that incredibles
two is a return to form for Pixar.
A lot of people even said that it was even better than the original, but a lot of people
also huff glue.
I figured I would make this video to highlight everything that's wrong with Incredibles 2,
just to stop you Pixar plebs from overrating this boring, baby member movie.
Maybe I can also get you lot off the glue huffing as well.
I want to begin this review by saying that Incredibles two isn't objectively an awful
movie.
As always with Pixar, the animation is great and there's nothing directly offensive or
insulting about it as a film.
It's nowhere near as bad as the schlock such as the emoji movie or angry birds.
If all you wanted or expected out of a sequel to the Incredibles was to just… see the
characters again and see some cute baby shit then congratulations mate this movie is actually
really specifically catered for you.
However, as Incredibles 2 was written and directed by Brad Bird, who has in the past
made some of the best animated films of all time.
I think it's fair to expect a certain degree of quality in the story telling, especially
as the man had 14 years to plan and work out a sequel to a universally loved and respected
film.
However, it becomes painfully clear from the very start of Incredibles 2 how rushed and
lazy this sequel is.
At the end of the first Incredibles the family have fully completed their arc.
This dysfunctional family have no become unified and confident superheros, working together
as a team.
Even jack jack has a mask, implying his powers have been awaked and he'd be fighting with
the family.
The fact that they went to this track race with their costumes on underneath further
cements them as known heroes that are used to taking on supervillains.
It's a really nice ending that wraps everything up in a neat little bow.
So it feels a little awkward and janky when 14 years later we pick up exactly where this
was left off only to discover that it seems nobody has actually grown at all, and in fact
seem to have regressed into becoming even less efficient as a unit than before.
But the blaring continuity issues don't stop there, the underminer who in the first film
declared war on peace and happiness.
But now in the sequel he just goes and robs a bank and just… sucks up money?
Why are you stealing money from a bank?
What use do you have for it?
You're just a weird mole man with a giant drill what use do you have with all that money?
Do you have like… underground shops, and where's your army?
Why do we never hear from you again?
The underminer escapes with the money and the incredibles stop his drill from hitting
the town hall.
But oh no, they get blamed for the destruction.
But this just makes you think, why didn't they get blamed for the destruction that the
giant robot caused in the first one?
It seems like everyones hella chuffed about them saving the day in that one but I supposed
we needed some sort of catalyst to establish that superheroes are still illegal.
So that's the opening sequence, pretty standard action scene, some jokes here and there, pretty
dumb but quite fun I guess.
You might think it's as good as any animated pixar film, but let's look at the opening
of the original and let's find out how wrong you are.
In the first Incredibles, the opening sequence shows Mr Incredible dashing about rescuing
cats from trees, stopping robbers, interacting with Elasticgirl and Buddy.
All the while we see him checking his watch to check if he's got time to do these heroic
acts.
It all culminates in Bob arriving late to his own wedding.
It's here that Helen says the key line which sums up what the whole film is about "You've
got to be more than Mr Incredible."
Bob is willing to prioritise being a hero over any other aspect of his life and that's
the conflict of the film that he needs to overcome.
He's also a man that insists on working alone, but he'll later learn the value of trusting
and relying on other people.
We see him interacting with his biggest fan.
He treats Buddy like the last leaf of Autumm, something to be raked up and thrown away.
We are watching our protagonist motivate and create the antagonist of the film and we don't
even know it's happening till much later.
Then when you look at the opening sequence of incredibles 2, umm they pass Jack Jack
about during the fight sequence, I guess they're a bit dysfunctional and the theme is about
them learning to work together or learning to work with Jack Jack?
Either way this feels like a re-tread of the themes from before only sloppier and looser
because they already learnt how to work together in the last film.
The opening sequence doesn't show any important character moments or themes because Incredibles
2 isn't really about anything.
This characters are shit now (why are they shit?
They used to be good.)
So all our favourite characters from the original are back for the sequel, but something's a
bit.. off about them.
They've gone all mouldy and rancid on the inside, like.. apples left outside in the
summer sunshine.
They look the same and sound the same.
But they don't act the same.
The plot of the film starts when a technology company invites Mr Incredible, Frozone and
Elestagirl to a meeting.
They tell them they want to legalize superheros again and their plan is to change the media's
perception of heroes, by strapping go-pros to them and filming them do hero stuff.
Despite inviting all three to the meeting they only want Helen to do it, which is a
pretty weird business decision.
Helen is more than happy to accept, despite last time they were in contact with a private
company 3 months ago they nearly all died.
She goes to do hero stuff while Bob stays home with the kids.
Helen is more than happy to do this and has a great time reliving her glory days.
Bob is pretty fucked off about it and I would be too.
She spends the whole of the first film telling Bob about how important it is to be present
in the family, how being a family man is more rewarding and challenging then defeating a
supervillain.
Helen is extremely dedicated her family and is the main force pulling everyone together.
Now she is suddenly just as much as a nostalgic adrenaline junkie as Bob was in the first
one.
She doesn't even use her elestabike or her superjumps to go back to her family, she's
like staying in a hotel.
She doesn't even want to call and check up on her children, she just wants to talk to
Bob about how much fun she's having.
When I first saw this, I thought Helen's arc would be able realising that being a mother
was more rewarding than being a superhero, but all she really learnt was that leaving
your family to re-enact your youth is actually really fun and fulfilling.
I guess she owes Bob an apology for shouting at him for doing exactly that in the first
one.
Meanwhile Bob is struggling with basic parental duties, the idea is that he never had to help
Dash with his homework ever before and helen looked after all three children when they
were babies.
Even though in the first one we can see him having a healthy relationship with his children.
He gets all stressed and dishevelled.
But all the conflict is solved by um… sleeping.
Once he has a rest he's fine and everyone else is fine which is cooooool.
Meanwhile Helen is fighting a new supervillain called screenslaver who hates screens.
Screenslaver can hypnotise anyone that looks at a screen and make them do anything.
Helen tracks down Screensaver to his base and we have a really great sequence with some
cool visuals and great build-up of tension and then an extremely fun chase through the
apartment building.
But then we go back to this shit pretty quickly.
That's not even funny.
She catches Screenslaver but it's just a pizza guy wearing screens on his eyes.
Helen uncovers the big twist of the movie, which is that the private company that hired
them is actually evil.
It turns out the woman in charge hates supers because her dad tried to get help from supers
instead of calling the police.
I know this because she kidnaps Helen and monolouges all this to her.
Something that the original Incredibles openly and regularly made fun of, because incredibles
two isn't a smart satire of a superhero movie, it's just another superhero movie, which is
exactly what everyone wanted I'm sure.
Elesticgirl gets forced to the hypto glasses which makes everyone who wears them evil and
then Bob goes to rescue her and gets turned evil too.
So now the kids are left to save the day.
In the first film Dash was impatient, competitive, whiny, manipulative and was driven by curiosity.
He learnt to be able to compromise on what he wanted by the end of the first film.
In the sequel he's just sort of there because he has to be.
He doesn't have any goals or arcs or conflict.
Violet is obsessed with this little weasel, Tony Rydinger who now has a completely different
face.
In the first one when he asks her out on a date she doesn't seem to really care that
much.
She learns to be cool, calm and confident in herself.
Her self value comes from inside herself not from whether a guy in high school likes her.
But now in the sequel, everything she says and does revolves around him.
The scenes with her are some of the funniest but it does feel like she's regressed rather
than grown.
But they've all regressed.
The charm that made them so likeable and fun has gone.
I don't get why people loved this film so much, why does everyone think this is such
a great sequel?
Brad Bird cut out some scenes from the original Incredibles, these scenes featured Jack jack
scaring the shit out of his babysitter.
He took those scenes and made it into a short called Jack jack attack.
It's pretty obvious that this short film is the main inspiration for all the scenes with
jack Jack in the sequel.
That's fine and all because like all of you I think the jack jack sequences are really
cute and funny and a great use of visual storytelling.
HOWEVER, why was all the Jack jack shit cut out from the first film?
Because none of it is relevant to the actual plot or conflict in the film.
Every scene in the first Incredibles has importance and progresses the plot even in this little
montage of bob with the kids they work in aspects of that montage into the final fight
scene, or Edna's rant against capes is later reincorporated.
When it came to Incredibles 2, we have long sequences with jack jack that don't really
need to be in the film but are somehow the best parts of the film.
The best parts of Incredibles 2 are the parts of the first film that were cut out.
When both Bob and Helen get taken over by screenslaver, the kids are left with Jack
jack.
They drive as fast as they can to get to the third act and once they're there oh boy oh
boy it's a long dragged out fight sequence on a yacht.
Ever wonder why you didn't feel tense watching this sequence?
I'll tell you why.
Notice how in the first film doesn't start with Mr Incredible fighting a mole person
in a huge fucking drill.
It starts with a series of short low threat sequences.
There's a cat stuck in a tree, a man jumps from a skyscraper, there's one bank robber
with some bombs, a train might crash.
From there it moves onto a fire, upping the stakes a bit, then he's stuck on an island,
then his weak and vulnerable children are there.
It all escalates to a huge robot in a city filled with people.
It doesn't show everyone's powers and abilities straight away either, it waits right till
the end before blowing its load.
But in Incredibles 2 we start with a large-scale city attack and from there the conflict becomes
less and less large scale until the final battle takes place on a yacht with the only
people really feeling at risk being the family themselves.
However, there's no tension in the combat since the way to defeat any of the superheroes
is to just take off the hypnotic glasses.
A fact that the characters realise way too late.
The only person who realised this was a fucking dumb baby, they visually see frozone change
when glasses on his head so its not like they're unaware
They stop the yacht from destroying the city and superheroes are legalized again.
Wow, what a journey.
If this film didn't shit all over the first film enough, they feebly try to recreate the
ending cliffhanger of the first.
Violet introduces Tony to the whole family, who are all driving them to their date.
Then when they hear the sirens, they kick Tony out and all purse the criminals.
In the first one, the underminer is declaring war on peace and happiness, they're saving
the world.
This time they're just weird adrenaline junkies.
They only need one of them to stop the fucking car, you don't all need to go you freaks.
The world established in 2004s The Incredibles is original, creative and self-aware.
It's such a shame that all brad bird could end up giving us is a sloppier reskinned version
of the first one with all the clever satire removed.
The characters are simplified, and the steaks are lowered.
I'm baffled as to why Brad Bird didn't embrace the time gap, an older Mr and Mrs incredible
coming to terms with their age, Violet having a child of her own, Dash a famous athlete
who doesn't have time for his family.
Or why not focus more on jack jack and make him a central focus to the plot?
Bird clearly loves making sequences with him, what if he was kidnapped or seized by the
government?
Why not make a film with actual ideas and themes, why not say something, make us cry
make us laugh, give us some of that Pixar magic.
Please I'm dying for it.
Please.
This is now the highest grossing animated film ever and all of this just begs the question,
does it deserve to be?
Because to me this feels like the epitome of lazy sequel writing.
It's bland and forgettable.
Pixar is no longer making tightly crafted films for families of all ages to enjoy.
Its focus is on making films for the fans of their old films.
Toy Story 4 isn't being made because there's another part of the story they desperately
want to tell.
Your childhood is a commodity, something that can be packed and sold back to you.
You can lie to yourself and say these sequels are good, you can say their better than their
predecessors or you can accept the truth and the truth is…
You'll enjoy anything when you huff a fuck tonne
of glue.
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