(crowd cheering)
Live from New York City,
it's the Wendy Williams Show!
♪ Feel it, feel it, feel it ♪
♪ Come on, you need it ♪
♪ Say it like you mean it ♪
♪ I'll just shout it out ♪
Now, here's Wendy!
(audience cheers)
Ta dah!
And away we go.
Thank you for watching.
Say hello to my co-hosts, my studio audience.
How you doin'?
How you doin'?
I'm doing okay.
Let's get started.
It's time for -
Hot topics!
Yes, come on!
(audience cheers)
So, last night was a big night on Broadway.
The Cher show debuted.
And it was a runaway success.
(audience cheers)
According to most people.
Cher is 72 years old.
Remember, we we're telling you,
I believe last week, that she was
complaining that she wanted the set changed.
She wanted the cast changed.
She wanted the makeup changed.
She wanted the wigs changed.
She wanted everything changed, she was done.
Well, I guess she liked it enough,
because at 72 she gave a surprise performance
at the end when she came back to turn back time.
(audience cheers)
Yeah, she looks good.
There were three different Chers that played her
during three different incarnations of her life,
you know what I mean?
I think that this is worth a check out.
Whether Cher shows up at the end or not,
it's still worth a check out, you know?
(audience applauds)
And so, the Sunny character actor, him,
he got annoyed, because he saw Kanye tweeting,
or, you know, on his device, while Kim was
paying attention, Kanye was busy looking down,
and so he goes something like, put down your cell phone,
you see we're doing a show up here.
And Kanye said something to the
effect of pardon me and my lack of etiquette.
Well, you know what, not for nothing.
There are two schools of thought.
First, well, yes.
(audience laughs)
I'm sure The Cher Show was a solid two hours.
Yeah, that's a lot of lifetime.
(audience laughs)
You can't just make that a one hour play.
Which would be perfect timing for me.
You have to make it two hours, it's life of Cher.
Kanye is constantly creating.
Kanye probably does not have a long attention span.
Like a lot of us.
Like me.
You know, you're in the middle of a row.
You can't get up, you can't walk out.
You can't fidget, you can't use your device.
I love Broadway, I love the, in my mind, I love Broadway,
but two hours sitting someplace
where I'm trapped, like even a movie,
I walk out of movies, even movies I find really good,
it's just like okay, I've had enough.
I'm sitting here so long, ow.
(audience laughs)
I don't know, but he said that he and Kim
held hands during I Got You Babe,
this is what he told this guy.
And, you know, Kim loves Cher,
so good for them.
(audience applauds)
Clap if you're with me, though.
Do you have a short attention span?
(audience claps)
Yeah, exactly, and I think the difference between
like Broadway versus, you know,
doing television, like we're a one hour show,
but at least you can get up and move around your house,
and get on your device during commercial breaks,
while you pay attention to commercials,
but you're still on your device,
and you can make your coffee, like you can do stuff.
If you got a fancy TV, you can pause us.
(audience laughs)
So, anyway, it's a whole lot different.
Thank god for TV.
(audience applauds)
So, Beyonce's fans are furious with her.
(audience gasps)
(Wendy giggles)
"What I do now?"
(audience laughs)
Well, over the weekend, Beyonce and Jay-Z performed
at the Global Citizens Festival in South Africa.
Now, you know, the fans thought that
they could watch the two hour performance online,
because the whole, Beyonce and Jay-z
weren't the only ones there.
There were tons of acts there,
but they were probably the biggest.
Yeah, the biggest.
So, they streamed the entire show,
but when they get to Beyonce and Jay-Z's part,
they stream only 25 minutes, and then it cuts off.
(audience gasps)
And then, it picks back up at the next person
and continues on, on, on, on.
So, what do you make of that?
What do you make of it?
I mean anything I say about Beyonce,
everyone tells me either I'm jealous of her or I hate her.
I'm not jealous of her and I don't hate her.
So, you know, (buzzing noise)
(audience laughs)
(audience applauds)
Here's what I think, I think that
this was done by the Global Citizens people,
which is a bigger situation than Jay-Z and Beyonce,
these artists are supposedly performing free.
The money's all going to charity.
The Nelson Mandela, you know,
it was to celebrate his birthday.
Which, even though it wasn't this past weekend,
it's July 18, same birthday as me.
(audience cheers)
This past July was his 100th birthday,
and I feel like they could've probably
together, or at least she, might've had enough power
to insist that they stream the whole show.
Don't stop it, don't stop it.
And, what are you getting out of this?
What do you want people to do now, go online,
Jay-Z and Beyonce, and pay for the rest of it?
Put it on Tidal?
You know, where they're going to pay.
Norman said he'd pay 30 dollars for it.
(audience gasps)
(Norman laughs)
Yeah, it's worth it.
Happy Easter.
(Norman laughs)
(audience applauds)
No, but okay, so they can make some money off this,
but my thought is that this was not probably
the Spotify, or the Global Citizens people's thing,
this is probably Jay-Z and Beyonce's
people saying, look, cut it let's make some money.
Here's how they impress me, honest to goodness.
Hundreds of millions of dollars,
these people, the two of them together,
they impress me as the types of people
who don't leave a penny on the floor.
Even with all the riches, like they will cheese ball
you out with the cheesiest mess,
like give this to your fans for free.
Like, give it to them.
(audience applauds)
I mean, don't you have enough?
It's the holiday seasons, for goodness sakes.
Give to them for free and apologize for that.
And, by the way,
(audience cheers)
Happy birthday, Jay-Z.
He's 49.
(audience applauds)
(audience laughs)
Okay, so, I've got my next destination
planned for vacation.
(audience oohs)
It is a must, and it's so unlikely
that you would ever guess it.
I'm going to Greece.
(audience cheers)
No, no, no, nope, nope.
I love Greek food, I love Greek women,
and I love the Greek men.
But most of all, Lindsay Lohan has got this
new reality show, it premiers in January.
(audience cheers)
And when I get to Greece, I'm staying at
the Lohan beach house.
Yup, yeah, yeah, whoa, family vote, yup.
(audience laughs)
The show is following Lindsay as she
runs her Lohan beach house club in Mykonos.
Take a look, take a look.
I've gone through so much in my past.
People always have given me trouble for going to clubs,
so why don't I just open my own?
Boss bitch.
It's Lindsay's club.
Welcome to my Mykonos.
To work for me, you have to be the best of the best.
Lindsay's way.
I want to build an empire here.
(intense music builds)
Did you miss me?
(audience cheers)
So, the premise of the show is
she's like Lisa Vanderpump, you know.
She's the boss.
She's hiring people, firing people,
checking up on them, seeing who's doing drugs,
seeing who's breaking the laws around there.
It's gonna be a riot.
I think she can do this.
(audience cheers)
And, I don't just want to go to Greece, I want to,
Lindsay, I want to stay at your place.
As a matter of fact, show, I would love
to bring show cameras.
(audience cheers)
Yup.
Not to do a full show there, but definitely a piece.
Like, let's do a piece.
Linds by the way, will be here
after the first of the year
(audience cheers)
to promote the show.
It starts on MTV in like January,
or something like that,
so I'll be watching, you'll be watching?
I'll be watching.
(audience applauds)
Clap if you don't care.
(few people in audience clap)
Oh, a few people don't care, alright.
You're elderly.
(audience laughs)
(Wendy laughs)
Lindsay, by the way, this is her
on the cover of Paper Magazine
with her pendulous breasts.
Wow!
I think she looks terrific, and look inside.
(audience applauds)
I think she looks great.
I love what this magazine does to people.
Well, she says she's sick and tired of getting bad press.
There was nothing really in it
that we already don't know about Lindsay,
but she did speak about that human trafficking
incident that we told you about the other week
and we showed you the footage.
If you don't remember, take a look.
Listen closely.
What's happening?
They're trafficking children.
(speaks in foreign language)
I won't leave until I take you.
You're ruining our culture by doing this.
(speaks in foreign language)
The whole world is seeing this right now.
(speaks in foreign language)
Give me your hand.
(woman in black yells in foreign language)
(Lindsay Lohan cries)
I'm like in shock right now.
They were trying to punch me,
and I'm just like so scared.
So, Lindsay, says in the magazine,
that she read the situation wrong,
and she learned from it.
I don't what was up that night,
all I'm saying is I like Lindsay Lohan,
and I will be watching her show.
And Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club premiers
(audience applauds)
January 8th, actually on MTV.
I'm there, you there?
I'm there.
So, can't go a day without talking
about Cardi B, I guess.
(audience groans)
(Wendy chuckles)
Well, the judge is threatening to arrest Cardi
if she doesn't show up in court on Friday.
Now, apparently she was a no show in court yesterday
over allegations that she had
two strippers beat up, because she thought
that they were sleeping with Offset.
Okay, the strippers are friends.
Their names are Jade and Baddie Gi.
Sisters.
Oh, sisters.
Jade and Baddie Gi, okay.
Cardi's lawyer went to the court
and reportedly said that she had
a prior commitment and she was
too busy for court.
In the mean time, here's her prior commitment.
(audience yells)
She was in Miami filming a music video,
and that was her prior commitment.
Well, you know what, okay, music videos
they cost a lot to put together.
Maybe it was all set, she should've shown up anyway.
It just so happens that this is also
the week of the world famous Art Basel,
so she's got a whole lot going on down there.
Every celebrity want to be there, Cardi, so,
why not stay until Thursday at 11:59.
But you better be in court on Friday.
(audience cheers)
Now, the strippers in question look like this,
they were in the Nicki Minaj video.
See, Nicki does petty stuff like this.
Which, I still think she's too big to even be doing,
the blonde, there they are.
Are they lovers with each other?
No, they're sisters.
I mean, I'm not, this is a daytime show.
(Norman laughs)
Have you ever seen something?
No, I mean.
Oh, okay.
It's not my lane.
Okay, okay, sorry, sorry, sorry.
How you doin'?
(laughter)
Well, here's the thing, with the law and taxes,
and anything dealing with the cops or anything,
I would go out of my way to settle everything.
That's me personally, I don't like to mess around.
I would tell the entire production
we will shut this down.
I gotta be in court.
I gotta settle this, and then we will start
the music video, we'll film at night.
I'll be here at 9 o'clock tonight.
(audience applauds)
You know, and then, catch the sun in the morning.
I just don't like messing around with the law.
Cause you just never know when they're
gonna roll up on you, like you don't even know
you have warrants, all you were doing
was going to get a Gatorade.
You're walking out of the corner store
and their walking up on you.
What?
A warrant?
So, Ozzy Osbourne, it's not about him.
It's more about what he's been through.
And it could be any one of us.
Ozzy Osbourne almost died.
Well, several times in life, but particularly
recently, after getting a manicure.
Oh, pull up to the bumper, come on now.
He got an infection in his thumb
and needed to go to the emergency room.
Then, he had to have emergency surgery.
The doctors said he could've died if
the infection spread to his blood.
Now, here's my thought, this could happen
to anyone of you all, because, I don't,
but you all spend a whole lot of time,
men and women these days, in the manicure.
And even when you say you're bringing your own stuff,
there's just something real germy about it.
I don't like it.
That's why I do my own.
Not even bringing your own,
but you should bring your own tools,
but I don't even trust that.
Not to say that they're doing anything with the tools,
but, just to say, it's a dirty place, you know.
And don't trust that blue light water.
And you know when you put your hands
in that thing, you know that's the cancer,
In my head, in my head, who needs blue lights
and stuff heating up on you?
No, no.
So, I do my own nails.
I always tell you, my own fingernails all the time.
Ever since we got this show.
I used to be a nail girl, but once we got
the show, it just became too much, too much.
So, I do them on my own, all the time.
I can't do my own pedicure, though.
So, I go quickly.
I'm in there for like five minutes.
Clip my toenails.
Cause you know, you can only,
you can't clip them real good from the side.
(audience laughs)
If you want a good clippation,
you gotta stretch out and have her do it.
(audience applauds)
And, might I suggest, you bring your own moisturizer
as opposed to them using their moisturizer on you.
Just in case.
And also on more thing,
a little trick that I've learned,
even when, for the twice a year I might go
for a proper manicure, I always get a dry one.
I don't want your water.
Give it to me dry.
And the same thing with a dry pedicure.
Dry pedicure, no water involved, nope.
In the name of Ozzy Osbourne.
(audience applauds)
Alright, everybody, a little louder.
(audience cheers)
Oh, nevermind, a little softer, a little softer.
We got more time.
(Wendy laughs)
Eddy Murphy and his fiance Paige
gave birth to his 10th child.
(audience applauds)
I like it.
His son's name is Max, after his father.
And Charles, after his brother.
And then Murphy.
Max Charles Murphy.
He has ten kids with five women.
(audience gasps)
(Wendy chuckles)
This is he and Paige's second.
I like it.
Why not?
You know, I have to give him a pass,
unlike the other sloppy people that
we talk about with all the kids
and all the babies' moms.
Even though I do feel like, when you have ten kids
you're really not spending adequate time
with any of them.
You know, you're really not, no matter how much
money you have, you're really not.
What does he do with his days?
(audience laughs)
You know, he counts his money.
He goes outside, we only see him outside
to get a coffee, he goes to get a coffee.
He's got his car keys.
He drives, last time we saw, he was driving a Mercedes.
Quite a few times, a simple Mercedes,
you know, not some big giant fancy European car.
A Mercedes.
I like it.
And he's 57.
(audience applauds)
Yeah, that's a good one.
Pete Davidson, wah, wah, wah.
I'll get you the next time.
We got more great show for you everybody.
(audience cheers)
Up next, it's time for celebrity lookalikes!
So, grab a snack and come on back!
(upbeat outro music)
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