- Hi everyone and welcome to my channel.
My name is Ray.
Today's topic, or today's video is going to be about
how to stop caring about what other people think about us.
(exuberant music)
So why do we really care about what other people think?
But where does it originate?
Where does it start, this caring
about what other people think?
I would say that the first beginning is from our ego.
The ego that is part of the separated self.
In other words we are no longer united.
The more united we are the more self-love we have
the more we accept that we are perfect as we are.
But the less and the more divided we are
the more we're playing the game of separateness.
The game of separateness meaning
I am different from anybody else.
And in other words we are not all part of God's creation,
or God viewing himself in a different perspective.
Every human being is pretty much the same.
So when we look at life in that way we are
having a more separated or divided experience.
And therefore we try to become more normalized.
We try to become more social acceptable.
We want to belong because we don't understand
that we are already there.
We're already belonging.
And the deeper we are in the separateness
and the lower our, you can say our love for ourself
or the more decreased it is the harder it is for us
to see that everything is within the self.
Everything meaning the love for the self.
The unconditioned love that we have
for ourself makes us perfect.
And the higher perspective and the higher vibration
a person becomes the more he accepts and loves himself.
And then the vibration that he emanates or he
or she emanates actually a vibration
of total acceptance and self love.
And then other people can notice.
When you are afraid of someone or when you trying
to fulfill someone else's needs
or someone else's expectation of you they will feel it.
It can be anything normal.
It can be an argument with your mother.
Your mother expects you to do something.
Or your father expects you to do something
or be a certain type of person.
If you're giving into that and you're
not standing your ground
and I'm talking about not a small argument
but sort of your father wants you to be a lawyer,
you want to be something else.
You want to be an artist.
Or they think that you should eat more
and you don't want to.
Or they think that you are not healthy enough.
Stuff like that.
When you are holding your ground eventually they give in.
We care that much because there's somebody else there
that is someone somehow influencing our opinion
our external look, our sensation of what
it means to be normal in other words.
Now nobody really wants to be normal
but everybody wants to be normal.
So both of these things exist simultaneously.
In other words we want to be considered normal
and yet we want to be ourself.
Being ourself is not normal because there's
eight billion non-normal people on
the planet incarnated right now.
Everyone has their own opinion.
So yes there is something that is called a mainstream.
Something that is considered to be what most people do.
But it's not necessarily the good thing
or the good way of expressing ourself.
We understand that.
And we are working to be more and more unique
and individual.
So we choose how we look by choosing our clothes.
And we choose how we express ourself.
And some of us in adolescent years for example
become a little bit more eccentric because we care
more about what other people think.
So we try to generalize ourself
and become a part of a group.
So you can be a jock for example
when you're in school years.
Or you can be a weirdo or a freak.
Or you can be a computer geek and stuff like that.
It's still a generalization.
So it's still within the standards of what normal is.
So the more we try to fulfill other people's demands
or requests of us whether it be our parents expectations
of our partners or our friends
or try to be normal the less we feel ourself.
And the more we care about what other people think.
Now the more self-love have for ourself
the more appreciation we have for ourself
and this happens by the way naturally
when we mature and grow so when we are adolescent
or kids we still don't have the character.
We still don't know who we are.
So we define ourself according to what we see outside
and what we feel like we need to belong to.
And then when we mature eventually we lose
the grip of what society wants of us.
Some of us become more and more normal and standard.
According to our job, according to the expectations.
And then we don't really live a completely fulfilling life.
Because we know that there's other things
that we could've done.
And we cannot feel miserable on the day-to-day experience.
Others become more themself.
And that's what I'm talking about.
When we become more of our true self and
it doesn't mean that it's the ego want.
In other words it's not the expectation
of what society wants us to be.
Like more materialistic or working nine to five jobs
or all these type of things.
But we become more of our true expression using
the gifts that we were born with.
Because this is just planned.
This is like a computer game.
So our avatar came here with a certain gift.
A certain way of thinking.
And that's his tools.
Those are his gifts for this type of life.
So the more we become ourself
the more unconditional love we have towards ourself.
(mumbles)
The less we think about what other people think about us.
In other words, we understand that the more of
the true self we are or the true expression
of the self wants to appear, the less we actually care
about what other people think.
But still we have to find the proper balance.
In other words we are living in a society.
Soooo
For example if I'm a nudist...
It's called naturalist today, and I'm going to the beach
I'm not just going to take going to take off my clothes
because there's certain kids there.
And there's certain people there that might educate
their kids in a certain way.
And that will hurt the balance of society.
So even though in my private or with my friends,
or when I go out in nature by myself, I will
be completely naked, in other scenarios I will find
the right balance with society.
Meaning I do care about what they say
or what they act or what they're going to do.
But by myself I will act completely different.
Which is also okay by the way.
So I'm not caring about what they think about me.
I'm more about trying to keep the peace between everyone.
And this is just one example.
There are many different examples.
And everybody's sitting somewhere between
the I want and have then.
And I belong and want to please other people.
I for example, I'm trying to please other people only
to a certain degree.
In other words if something hurts my neutrality
and it's a negative experience for me I'm not going to go
and do something about that.
I'm going to just chill.
I'm going to tell them and be honest about whatever
it is that they're asking me to do.
Or whatever it is that they're asking me to be.
And I'm going to just tell them without fighting, okay?
It's not about fighting anything.
It's because you're finding windmills.
And nothing's going to happen.
You're trying to catch raindrops.
You're never gonna catch them.
It's about being your true self.
It's about accepting how you really are
and what you really want to be.
But also understanding that there is a balance
that needs to be kept with other people.
When you're not fighting them and you're just expressing
who you are, then you're true to yourself.
And when you're true to yourself
you can cultivate an inner love.
And when you start loving yourself much more
then you start accepting other people as they are.
And then what we're actually creating is this
heaven on earth type of scenario.
In my retreats for example, when we having a sharing circle
we know in advance that there is no judgment whatsoever.
If one person is a vegetarian or one person is a vegan
or one person eats meat, or if one person comes from
a different culture, or if one person doesn't know
his English very well everyone is unique and everyone
is exactly where they're supposed to be.
In their path and in that time for their path.
So there's no judgment.
And when there's no judgment you don't really care
about what other people think.
In other words when you come to ask question
or when you consult with someone they will tell you their
opinion without judging you.
Without making you feel bad for whatever
it is that you did so far.
In other words total acceptance of thy self.
And there's one more method that I can tell you
that is really, really good to use when we're working
on caring less and less about
what other people think about us.
And more and more about our self-love.
And that's called the SO-What Method.
And it's pretty much saying okay something bad happened
in our life.
Someone said something about us at work.
A partner just had a big argument with us.
Our sibling or our parents or somebody close to us
from our family also pissed us off, doesn't accept us
as we are and we're already tired of it, so what?
So what?
There bigger things that have happened in your life.
Big negative impacts that you had.
Troubles that you went running into.
When your heart rate was 150 and you thought your
whole life was going to end now it's time
to understand to put all these things in proportion.
The So-What Method pretty much says so what?
It's going to pass.
Instead of waiting a few days for it to pass
why not let it pass in an hour?
Why not let it pass in a minute?
Why not understand and connect to the energy
of who you're going to be in a few days where
it already passed?
And ask future you to pass that vibration back
into present you.
Because time is just an illusion.
So to summarize, the more we care about what other
people think the more it means that we actually need
to care about ourself much more.
Care about our self-love, acceptance
and sometimes it's hard for us to see the light
in the end of the tunnel.
And understand that this is a path.
But sometimes if you look now retroactively
at your life, and you will see that there were
certain points in your life where you're very
disappointed, or you didn't know where you were going to.
Or you were in a bad relationship.
But today we think kind of cleared up.
And you can really understand why those things happened
in the perfect synchronicity that they had to happen
in order for you to become the person that you are today.
So what you actually need to do if you're suffering
is let go.
Let go of the expectation
that something will happen.
You can visualize it.
You can energize it.
You can feel that it's coming.
But let go of the expectation because
that's the only way it's actually going to come.
It's sort of like when we want a relationship
and we're hanging on to that need so much
it's not going to happen.
Only when we let it go the solution will come.
And something the solution doesn't come from
the mind or the subconscious.
The solution is something that we couldn't even imagine.
But it just appeared out of nowhere.
And when we look back at our life at those particular times
we can understand that we didn't have the right trust.
And the right letting go.
And the right acceptance.
And the right self-love.
But today we already know.
We've tasted it a little bit of that solution.
So we can actually duplicate it and understand everything
is going to be fine.
And we need to learn how to love ourself.
See the positive things that we do have because everybody
has some talents.
Everybody has some beauty.
Everybody's perfect as they are.
And focus on those things to create the higher vibration.
That higher vibration emanating from our heart.
And that the universe can provide us with more and more
reasons to care and love ourself.
And don't forget, don't try to fight it.
Don't try to fight other people's opinion on you.
You are perfect.
You are unique.
You are amazing.
And you should be exactly who you are without trying
to identifying with other normalities.
Without trying to pleasing other people's perception
of what you should be.
Be yourself.
Thank you very much for watching me my friends
and namaste.
And I will see you in my next video.
(slow-paced ethereal music)
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