The
episode opens with a telling shot of Angel winding a clock.
Angel is back from his visit to Sunnydale that was spurred by Doyle's vision in the
last episode, and Cordy and Doyle are watching him hawkishly for signs of depression.
1:30 "Look it wasn't a social call.
I was there to protect her.
She didn't even know I was there."
Buffy who found out about Angel's visit to Sunnydale has come to have a conversation
about it.
4:00 "Who do you think you are coming to my town and doing things behind my back?"
As the post relationship Bangel speak begins to ramp up the two of them are attacked by
a Mohra demon.
They team up to track it down in the sewers.
Buffy heads topside in case the demon went that way.
Angel is attacked, absorbs some of the Mohra's blood, and is turned human by it.
Angel is overwhelmed by the wealth of human sensations and tells Doyle he want to speak
to the Powers that Be to find out if in fact he really is human now and why.
Doyle takes Angel to see the Oracles, speakers for the Powers that Be.
The gateway into their dimension is emblazoned in greek with
18:00 "Gateway for lost souls."
Now this is a major step in the development of the Buffyverse lore, formalizing the Powers
that Be from a general idea to an actual character so forgive me this tangent.
To this point, Doyle's verbal use of them might've been easy to accept as a colloquial
form of "higher power" or God.
And it's tempting at times to believe the show is actually using pieces of traditional
Christian lore given some of the familiar iconography and the use of words like Hell
and demon.
While religion exists inside the show I tend to believe the Sunnydale zeitgeist has simply
absorbed some religious terminology to explain the way the shows very unique universe works.
Giles tells Buffy there are many hell dimensions, in which case we can assume he simply means
dimensions of torment or misery.
Presumably then there might be heavenly dimensions, or even many.
Buffy wears a crucifix but never makes any mention of faith or belief in a higher power.
To her it is a tool as functional as stake or sunlight.
To top it off, ritual and ceremony, common trappings of religion, are most often employed
by the forces of evil in Buffy - think the Harvest or the raising of the Master in Buffy
Season 2.
Or even the Cruciamentum, which bears all the hallmarks of ritual and ceremony though
Traver's never labels it outright.
101 "It's been done like this for a dozen
centuries."
There's also use of the word soul, though, whether it is the moral compass or the seat
of identity, we've seen it can be manipulated by magic powers.
Popped into a crystal.
Kicked into the ether.
It wouldn't be surprising if it could be stored in a magic pot and lost.
The use of the word then is mostly one of convenience to the fiction and not intended
to conform to any theology.
And so it is with the Powers that Be.
Eventually I plan on doing a video dedicated to explaining Buffyverse Mythology but I can't
say more now for spoilers.
Instead I've linked to some Buffy wiki articles in the description.
I'm bothering to explain all of this because the first time I watched Angel, the Powers
that Be and what we're about to see in the following scene, bothered me.
Partially because it struck me as incongruous with the show's rich philosophy.
And partially because...well…
Angel enters and we see the Oracles are a pair of intermediaries for the Powers that
Be that just came from the local dimensional renaissance faire.
CAMP is defined as, exaggerated and theatrical in style, typically (though not always) for
humorous effect.
When it comes to movie and television production I think camp is often the accidental flame
sparked by the friction between budget and ambition.
I learned two things from Season 1 of the Buffy guide.
Camp has a place in some people's hearts.
And I don't like it.
The Oracles tell Angel his is human for good and send him packing.
Angel, freed from his need for redemption wonders what to do now.
20:00 "The question is, what do you want?"
Angel steps into the sunshine, and embraces the one he wants.
The camera turns, and Buffy and Angel's theme swells.
And theeeeen...after another shot of the ticking clock…
22:42 *pours tea*
I love this, both the before and the after.
There is always the balance in the Buffyverse between the fantasy and drama.
21:00 *music swells
And the reality for the characters.
22:30 "Would you like some more?"
The writer's do such a wonderful job of keeping the two in harmony and acknowledging
them both as necessary.
And here Buffy and Angel both neurotically peer into this horse's mouth before...
25:16…
After 3 seasons of questions.
After 3 seasons of tension and some times of torment, this is the happy ending.
It's lovely.
And joyful.
A free man.
A normal girl.
And cookie dough fudge mint chip ice cream.
29:00: "I want to stay awake so this day can keep happening."
-- "Sleep…we'll make another one like it tomorrow."
I love this scene so much as for a moment it seems there is nothing in the whole world
but the two of them.
Angel's laugh.
Buffy's peace.
But the truth is, there is one more thing present.
27:00 *Doyle's vision
And it's time.
Doyle comes and tells Angel that the demon regenerated.
Mortal Angel goes after it alone and it kicks his ass.
Buffy steps in a sweet.
As.
hell.
Hero shot.
Angel returns to the Oracles and asks if the end of times are coming, as the Mohra demon
told him, and what happens to the Slayer.
201
The Oracles tell him that Buffy dies sooner as a result of Angel's mortality.
36:30 "Then I'm here to beg for her life."
The Oracles decide to reverse the last 24 hours to restore things as they were, in the
name of keeping Angel as warrior for their cause.
In order to prevent the day from happening exactly the same way, Angel is allowed the
memories of the erased 24 hours.
The ensuing scene in which Angel explains all of this to Buffy is...well...let me get
back to that.
The hour tips over, the day resets, and the happy ending is gone.
The Mohra demon breaks through the window and Angel uses time, in the form of the episodes
persistent clock, to kill him, and his own happy ending with Buffy.
I absolutely love the performances from Sarah and David top to bottom.
Having played these characters now for three plus seasons they imbue Buffy and Angel's
relationship with such a well worn feeling.
These two characters know each other's hearts and foibles and that familiarity drips off
the screen, particularly early on.
I found their post breakup talk especially convincing.
8:10 "You bailed me out last time, I'd like us to be even."
- "So we're keeping score now?"
This behavior started at the end of Buffy's season 3 as Buffy repeatedly tried to push
Angel away from her, and I loved his observation then.
"Are you just making this harder to make things easier on yourself?"
Post painful breakup communication is often defined by a rigid avoidance of vulnerability.
Not revealing an inch of your wounded heart feels like it can stave off the chance of
further bruises.
To his credit Angel doesn't engage with Buffy in quite the same way.
Buffy's defenses here seem cold, but when the episodes turn occurs, they crumble and
reveal the ache and desire she was keeping hidden.
301
But I do feel so torn about some things in this episode, if I'm honest.
Maybe my ambivalence is part of the point here, as relationships that have ended are
nothing but contradictions.
Good intentions on all sides and very different opinions.
Angel thought he did right in not telling Buffy he was in Sunnydale.
Maybe that was wrong.
He ended his relationship with Buffy in Sunnydale because it didn't have a future for either
of them.
Even Buffy thought maybe that was right.
He makes the decision to reverse the day without her present.
Maybe it was wrong, but I think in the end, Buffy understands.
"I couldn't tell you.
I didn't think I could go through with it."
Their final scene together is the height of the their relationship to this point.
This episode is loaded with nods to Bangel moments in Buffy, and my favorite one is here.
"I felt your heart beat."
This is one of Sarah Michelle Gellar's best performances.
Supposedly she became so swept in Buffy's anguish that for a moment, David Boreanaz
forgot himself and started comforting Sara and not Buffy.
"Sara please."
It feels like there were a number of season and show arcs initiated in this episode that
may or may not have panned out, but it still doesn't diminish the episode in my mind.
The Mohra mumbles a number of ominous and weirdly specific things including:
36:41 "The Mohra demon said the end of says is coming.
Soldiers of darkness."
At this point in the Buffyverse Angel has already been personal witness to THREE potential
end of days, and "soldiers of darkness" is vague enough to mean anything.
The Mohra's monologuing could have meant something that might've been intended to
foreshadow things but I'm going to go ahead and spoil a bit here saying, nothing obvious
comes up relating to what he said, at least not in this season.
Though I'm sure we'll be head-canon'ing in this videos comments.
There is plenty of commentary here I love.
Once Angel is human and has lost his heroic aspect Doyle makes a telling statement.
20:00 "I guess you can do whatever you want.
The question is, what do you want?"
And initially Angel's wants are all sort of hedonistic and indulgent.
Ice cream.
Cookies.
And Buffy.
That's not to say that Buffy means the same as a cookie but rather that meaning is usually
irrelevant when it comes to our wants.
Our wants are these indifferent things, a chorus of voices in our heads, from every
part of us at all times.
Heart.
Mind.
Inner reptile.
Shadow Self.
I want to be healthy, and I want a cheeseburger.
I want to do good in the world, and I want to be with Buffy.
It is a meaningless din.
But, according to the shows philosophy, real purpose comes from our commitments.
Our choices and the actions we take from them.
To this point Angel's curse (both vampire and gypsy) has defined his circumstances and
from that his calling.
With that all having fallen away...
401
23:30 "I don't know what I am now.
I don't know what my purpose is."
But, for me, the episode's significant takeaway is that the battle goes on.
Angel may not see the pattern to his life yet in that there will always be another battle,
but the tradeoff he has to make to be with Buffy means that he will not be a soldier
in that next one.
As a flesh and blood man, in not waking Buffy, he tried to prove that he could take on the
Mohra.
To fight without super powers and so be worthy of fighting by Buffy's side.
But he can't.
And he knows that in the end Buffy will pay the price.
36:45 "And what happens to the slayer when that happens?"
Buffy and Angel are both heroes.
And the path that makes them who they are is what will keep them from each other.
He doesn't get to curl up in her arms and watch the sunset because there is always another
sunrise.
Strong is fighting.
Hard.
Painful.
Everyday.
And what this episode represents to me is Angel accepting the necessity of that path.
38:00 "How can we be together if the cost is your life?
Or the lives of others?
The word Mohra, actually comes from greek mythology.
The Moirai were the fates, the white robed incarnations of destiny.
Buffy and Angel's burden is the inevitability of time in the form of the next battle.
That is the weight of the rock.
Another day.
And it's a decision that Buffy has had to make on her own journey as well.
In Season 2 of Buffy her relationship with Angel was a constant distraction from her
calling, and there were many signs along the way to indicate the disaster that might occur
should she compromise her own identity for Angel.
In the end, she too was left with a choice: to die in the arms of love, or to keep fighting.
And Angel makes a similar sacrifice, to be his true self.
In that sense then him being the one left to remember their perfect day is not simply
a burden but a reminder of the significance to his journey.
So much sacrifice.
Let it be for something.
There is some disharmony to I Will Remember You.
It suffers from some of the growing pains of Angel's early episodes.
But at it's core, there is a warm loving heartbeat.
I've always admired the honesty to both of these shows.
Sometimes it may seem that the Buffyverse writer's have a cruel unwillingness to let
these beloved characters have a happy ending.
But maybe it's just their unwillingness for them to have an ending, save for one.
Isn't it something that they got to be happy, at least for a time?
More than anything, I think that's what makes these characters the most like us.
After all, we are all of us writers, of a fashion.
Composing the epic tale of our own lives with each pen stroke breath.
It's a story in which many chapters close, but ultimately the final ending is predictable.
As Margaret Atwood said then, so much for endings.
Beginnings are always more fun.
True connoisseurs, however, are known to favor the stretch in between, since it's the hardest
to do anything with.
501 43:30 "And I guess that's all there really
is to say."
- "Yeah.
That's it."
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