men are talking and here's what they want hi I'm Jaki Sabourin and I've posted
over a hundred videos on my youtube channel engaged in any age and guess
what I discovered the men are posting comments in the comment box these
comments are gold because men are telling us exactly what they want from
us so I took my top three most popular videos and put them together in a series
for you because their home runs so if you met want a man to love cherish and
adore you you need to watch these videos the next one is three ways to
emotionally connect with the man enjoy the video ladies hi ladies Jaki Sabourin
here and I want to talk to you about three secrets to emotionally connect
with the man so I'm excited about connecting with you today and I just
want to welcome a few of the ladies that are just joining the call hi ladies so
let's just jump right in we're talking about these secrets that you need to
know so that you can emotionally connect with a man because when you make an
emotional connection with a man that's how you get a commitment it's not until
you emotionally connect then you can get a commitment from a man because men
don't bond you know men don't make commitments over sexual connections so
you want to really push for and look for and explore creating that emotional
connection with the man that's really exciting to do and so the best way to
connect with a man on an emotional level is to the first one I'm going to give
you a tip I'm gonna give you is to keep it sexy so keeping it sexy means keeping
it light neither playful and keeping it fun in the very beginning it's really
important to remember not to go to the end of the story not to attach to an
outcome as soon as we start to attach to an outcome of how we want it to turn out
then we we we don't we lose our place in the present when the president is where
all our power is you guys have heard me say that over and over again
so you can't be playful and fun and and happy when you're thinking about the
past or worrying about the future right so you have to make the moment sexy and
fun for him then I mean we all know men love sex women do
too but men one is it sexy they want to feel alive especially middle-aged men
they want to feel like they still can they still have going on a lot of the
reason why men go through midlife crisis is because they feel like they're not
desirable to women anymore they don't feel like they got it or that women
don't look at them in the same way and so that really explains a lot of why you
know I'm encouraging not necessarily to to sexually objectify yourself that's
not what I'm saying at all it's just that as we age we tend to you know maybe
we stop turning it up to because maybe our estrogen levels are dipping and we
just don't feel like it but if we want a man you have to learn to emotionally
connect with him and we all want to feel alive and then especially want to so
looking at your wardrobe here are some ways you can do that look at it you're
cleaning out your closet spring is coming get rid of the old lady clothes
there first of all we can dress differently now as we age you don't have
to start dressing a certain way like your grandmother did you can fortunately
a dress like me you know I'm gonna be 54 next week
so I mean I have a whole training about aging I'm really excited about you know
dating in your 50s and and Beyond and what it and if you should lie about your
age and all that I'm really excited to cover that topic because I'm getting
ready to turn 54 and so I'm gonna save that for then but it's not feeling like
you have to stop dressing the way that you did when you were 40 and even thirty
I mean our hemlines come down sure and maybe we're wearing maybe a longer
sleeve shirt if you're more comfortable with that but I definitely think you
need a great bra you need to get those girls up and together and get them on
the same page because they're beautiful and you're beautiful but use your assets
so make sure that you're dressing according to your look but that if you
did it's hip and it's uh and it's fun and it's sensual and and it really would
turn a man on so when I have my online dating profile I had you know a blouse
II pink blouse pop of color men love that I had a pair of jeans on one
of the pictures that I had a long fitted dress on and so I dressed more you know
more hip more like I did when I was in 42 I haven't changed that in fact
recently I went through my closet and I noticed I even did this I noticed I
started getting the little grumpy I was like what's happening to me and that's
kind of why I did the highlights on my hair I was getting dark I was like oh
I'm gonna go into this dark look but it made me look older my daughter told me
that she said it looked like Elvira now I love Elvira but I don't necessarily
want to look like her I would look like me only you know brighter so I did the
highlights and it kind of brightened up my look so I'm not saying you have to
even go get highlights but maybe consider it maybe Springs come in maybe
you want to brighten up your look with just a new look you didn't get some new
makeup you know our skin tones changed at the time of your change what you wore
in the winter in terms of makeup and hair needs to change for the summer so
keeping it sexy is very helpful I'm just moving my notes over so I can see I can
hi nice to see you and let me look at the comments because I want to make sure
that I'm answering any questions if you have any yeah thank you thank you very
much nice nice compliment thank you I appreciate that
so um okay so keeping it sexy keep it of light keeping it fun and playful for
them I mean as we get older we want to have fun want to have a fun relationship
we want to smile and laugh more and certainly men are looking for that
especially if they've been married before they want so you all heard me say
that but just a little reminder sometimes you need to be reminded of the
same things the simplest steps over and over again until we got it so that's a
secret number one to creating an emotional connection as being fun
playful and throwing a little sexiness I mean this shirt isn't revealing anything
but it's kind of sexy and then in my in its own way so you
know you can you can look at your wardrobe clean on your closet and get on
get up to speed with getting rid of everything that you that is frumpy and
only keep the things that you feel really good in and just re wear those
you know if you are not in your bending plan to get some new clothes
just go through your closet and and streamline it so that when you go to
reach or something only the best stuff is there and so the
next thing is physical touch physical touch is very important to men they want
to put their hands on you and so in the beginning of dating that
that's not necessarily appropriate however when you are dating you can
reach up and touch your man's forearm you can put your hand on his shoulder
you can you know even like picking a piece of lint off his shirt is very into
it that is a very intimate gesture only peope women and men that are in having a
connection would do that so if you are sitting there with a man and he has like
a little piece of lint do you reach up and just you know get that for him
that's a very intimate act and it's physical connection at the touch and so
as you start dating holding hands you know putting your hand around his his
shoulder his waist and and seeking his hand out if he's not really affectionate
then you can be affectionate right I love affectionate my husband you know
what I love that he does to me that I just love love and but he wants me on
the butt quite a bit I really like that so it's not a hard swap but he just
gives me a little pat you know and I really like that it's fun and Michael's
very affectionate and so am I so we have a lot of fun playing with I have some
kind of tickle thing going on here playing and being very physical and so
don't be afraid to do that play with his hair you know when you're on a date
you've got your hand back there men love to have their scalp rub - oh how do I
get my fingers and my husband scalp he goes crazy for that so if you're dating
a man give him a nice scalp massage he will love that and so physical touch is
really important to create that emotional connection okay and and
another another secret is be interested in his interest be interested in his
interests and even if you're not interested in those things you can
certainly be interested in them because he is that's what the interest level
comes from you're like well I never really thought ice hockey was that big
of a deal but husband loves it and so now you know
what I love ice hockey it's fun it's fun to watch it's a little bit of a brutal
sport sometimes I have to cover my face but that's just me I'm not saying you
need to do what I'm doing I'm just giving you examples of real-world
examples because I think you they really hope you connect so if you're guys into
you know he's it he's up in his head he's an engineer or maybe he's a nerd
and he likes to do certain things that come along with that then go for that go
like I really want to know all about it because hey maybe there's something
there that you'll find interesting and the fact that you show interest in what
he's interested he starts to see you as an equation in his life and so you start
to put put he starts to put you together in a future scenario with him and before
you know who knows you might become interested in those topics because he is
and so that that'll be another way to create that emotional connection so that
was already three things but I'm gonna keep going because I have many more hair
on my list this is the big one show respect and admiration respect
admiration and appreciation so ladies it sounds like this is all about the guys
right a mic jockey all you're saying is you know all about the men but hey face
it you want to be in a relationship right you want to be in a committed
relationship that leads to a commitment or marriage like what I wanted and so
I'm willing to do and I was willing to do what it takes to have what I want
and and frankly men and we all love compliments we all love to be
appreciated and noticed and witnessed and so started doing that practicing
that now on your date so that when you meet a man it's automatic
you're just automatically doing that and so I do it about every little thing that
Michael does I can't overemphasize this enough
I'm like thank you baby for the coffee thanks for taking out the trash this
morning thank you for picking up more limes thanks for picking up dinner thank
you thank you thank you thank you thank you so thoughtful of you so sweet of you
I really appreciate that you did that that means so much I mean I lay it on
because first of all I just coming from a sincere place
I really am grateful I really do appreciate him but I it's a habit that I
train myself to remember to consistently appreciate every little thing so that I
don't ever take it for granted so I just because I'm saying in the beginning
doesn't mean a year later he doesn't want to hear it I mean I want to stay
married though the things that I'm teaching you is about getting into a
relationship but there's a there's a high divorce rate I want to get you in
the relationship but I also want to keep you in the relationship right I don't
ever want you to be divorced very painful experience to go through so
practicing appreciation and gratitude is going to keep you in that relationship
because I consistently do it because it's a habit but I want my husband to
know how much I appreciate and love and respect him and so I'm consistently
using that tool to make sure he knows of my level of commitment for him and then
in return what do I get he gives so much to me he gives to me thinks about what
he can do for me how he can make my life easier and how he includes me in the
decision-making and he always runs everything by me and so it it really
comes back to you and tenfold gratitude is a very powerful force as you know
because the more you think about the more you bring about so the more
appreciation and gratitude you're showing for for anything you're gonna
get that back so the more you do it the more you get it back so it's kind of
like invoking the law of least effort the more you do of what you want done
the more easier it is to receive it back tenfold
so another thing that is really good and it worked really well with my
relationship is surprises you know as women were we're the one who likes
surprises right we want to be surprised and and that's great but men love it too
men love surprises so surprising your date if you've been dating for a couple
weeks I would recommend making it doing a little surprise like yeah I have a
little surprise for you and he's gonna like what is it well if I tell you it's
not going to be a surprise and then and then it could be to be something really
simple I mean maybe you made him some his favorite dish and and you
to him or maybe you picked up a book that he talked about or maybe you after
dinner you take them by you guys go for a drive
and you show him something that you think that he would really enjoy so
something that you thought out or maybe you're getting him tickets to a sporting
event that he wants to go to or a ticket to the concert that's after you've been
dating for a couple of weeks I don't recommend giving gifts but the surprises
hold you know are always appreciated and everybody loves a surprise because it
means you put a lot of thought into doing something special for him and
that's how you continue to create an emotional connection which leads to a
commitment and this last tip I want to share with you is it's really an
important one and and as important as they all are but this one is not I'll
start off with giving him his freedom I'm gonna take away the word not so
making sure he knows that he has plenty of freedom here's the thing people get
really freaked out when they get into a committed relationship they start to go
oh my gosh I'm not gonna have any freedom but guess what the opposite is
true I have so much more freedom being in a committed relationship being
married because I don't have to worry about dating anymore and that's a very
time-consuming you know endeavor as you know if you're
watching this I don't have to go online I have to spend my time you know
organizing who I spoke to and being on my phone all the time so I actually have
more freedom also have the security of the commitment that we made together and
not talking about financial talking about that in that that security based
on the highest form of integrity of honesty and truth that we made to each
other that we are going to be there for each other and I can relax into that so
when I can relax into that Michael that's all the freedom he wants I give
him I mean I've thought of to me to give give or take it away he's a free person
getting married doesn't limit you and make you have to like you have to do a
certain thing not if you set it up right in the beginning so I was very clear
from the very beginning I was saying things like like you know go with your
friends and I think that would be great you should go you should do it you know
even though like I'll give you an example one day it was Father's Day and
he his children were not with him that was when he was spending more time with
his children when they were younger and so he he had that day without his
children and I was thinking I'm gonna do something very nice for him I'm gonna
make a brunch so I went to the store and I got a bunch of things for lox and
bagels right but he had a different plan so I didn't tell him that I was gonna
surprise him and so he did he called me up and he said I'm going for you know 45
mile bike Road biking ride with his best friend and I was like I'd already made
all of this like I had set it all up and I was gonna surprise him and I printed
out a homemade Father's Day card with a picture of him and his kids on it for my
printer and but I went with the flow because I'm in my feminine energy and I
was like wow that sounds like a great day you know inside I was really
disappointed I was but I said you go have a great time that's gonna be
awesome you know take a picture when you guys are out so next thing I know is I
hear somebody outside my door he's outside on his bike with his best friend
they were calling out to me I came outside took a picture of them together
and I wished him you know good ride and they rode off and they had a great day
and that's what he wanted to do with his day is spend it with his friend and I
didn't take it personal and so I went inside and I ate my LOX and bagels with
my kids and so that's what I made about freedom
I didn't even show any sign of that because he else's he has a right to make
plans and have his own life and his own interests and I want to support those
and I was just I guess that was Plan B and so make sure you're really relaxed
and things if he springs it on you hey my friends are all getting together
tonight after work I really want to go well you should say is go you should
call was she call it's gonna be great you go have a good time I'll catch up
with you later and he feels safe knowing that you are not gonna freak out and try
to clamp down on his time he's gonna want to spend more time with you because
you're so easygoing so there's a really important thing for men men really I
think one of the biggest reasons why men resist commitment is because they said
some some level that you're going to try to monopolize their time but what
happens is you give them oh if you make sure that
they know that you're not going to interfere with the things they want to
do in fact you're going to encourage it and support it they all the sudden are
like oh I'd rather be with her she's so easy going in and then if something does
come up I can always at the last minute you rearrange our schedule and I can go
do something with my friends tonight for example my husband has a he has this
monthly meeting that he does with him and his business partners and they go
and have a couple drinks and they have appetizers they talk about business and
I'm like great I'm gonna make plans and go do my thing have fun I'll talk to you
when you get home order tomorrow maybe he'll get home later I'm fine with that
totally fine with that I want him to feel like he can do whatever he wants as
long as he comes home to me and he does so that's the point right though I think
that covers that I've covered quite a bit and I'm just wondering if any of you
ladies have any questions ladies do you need more from me if you leave a
question in the comment box below I'll be sure to answer it also don't forget
to subscribe to my channel so you never miss an episode and today I want to give
you a gift my ebook single - committed seven steps to attract and keep the love
of your life this is the exact method I used to attract my soulmate Michael okay
ladies I'll see you in the next video
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