I've had it work through forgiving my dad instead of living in response to
that the rest of my life because I could say well it's righteous anger he was so
wrong like yeah he was wrong but I don't want to be defined by that the rest of
my life mm-hm and God has forgiven me I've got to let go of that anger in
order to be healthy
welcome to the focus on the family broadcast helping families thrive at
John earlier this year we featured a message from Brandt Hanson he run focus
on the family today and we're gonna welcome him back to the studio I think
this is a wonderful topic you and I are often talking about you talk a lot about
your driving I talk about how people irritate me on the road that is true
that's that's where the Lord is teaching me so much to become more like him more
forgiving you know what I call traffic forgiveness practice excellent I really
do I mean it's a low-risk way to actually implement forgiveness in a
people life like it's a great idea this is like a therapy moment Brandt Hanson
has written this wonderful book unoffending
and we're gonna learn today as believers maybe if you're not a believer in Jesus
Christ you're gonna learn some things today about how not to let people
irritate you and I think that's something to lean into yeah and Brandt
is well known for his unique and humorous syndicated radio broadcast in
fact he won an award for the National personality of the year that's an award
for you national personality of the year the irony is I almost don't have a
personality God's sense of humor well in fact the gallery is packed with people
who follow your program so let's let them say hello to you hello this is so
incredibly frightening yeah it's funny this makes you nervous you told me
before we could talk to the gallery that's probably a hundred people in
there totally in there's something about being seen that's really hard for me I'm
used to not being seen so I like writing and I like being on the radio look now
unoffending let me get to it why are we offended so often by people even for
those of us who claim christ and we know the fruit of the Spirit is love joy
peace goodness self-control why does that guy that cuts
me off on the road get to me so easily well number one I think we're angers
being threatened at some level I think we know that that it's threat so I guess
somebody cutting you off at some deep level some primal level or something is
like he's going to get to the food before I get there
well now you're kinda getting a little close here there's something deep down
there that's like why are you entitled to this one not me so we feel threatened
but that's anger across the board there's there's things that make us feel
threatened that should make us feel threatened so there is a good response
again well there's a natural anger that happens let's describe them let's go
with what's a normal you know anger response and what is over-the-top
well if your parents are abusive or you've gone through some some horrible
things in your life somebody's taken the life of a family like anger a course is
gonna be response to that I mean we're actually wired for fight-or-flight we're
wired to have all these physiological reactions that happen when we're
threatened the problem is for the Christian the idea when does forgiveness
actually begin or are we supposed to stay angry cuz we've been taught and I
think this is to get at your question about why this is such a big issue for
Christians we're not taught out of anger we're told it well its righteous anger
my anger is righteous so we hold on to it the problem is and this is the
shocking thing in the book that when people first hear about it they're like
that can't be true I'm saying in the book that there is no biblical righteous
anger for humans God's anger is righteous yes Jesus anger is righteous
he's holy yeah but for us were not good arbiters of our own anger we feel
threatened when we don't need to we're supposed to get rid of anger before the
Sun Goes Down mmm that doesn't mean that it's
righteous yeah if it's so righteous why are we supposed to get rid of it right
now there's no good scriptural argument for
holding on to anger and having entitlement to it but the biggest reason
for actual forgiveness and extend and surrendering our so-called right to
anger is because we are sinners - like Jim you know this yeah like you have let
people down as well sure and even if they're wrong I know I've done just as
bad this is the status we have as believers it's not because they deserve
forgiveness it's because I didn't like that's why I'm able to extend this and I
think waking up in the morning this is why I'm going in my book like wake up in
the morning I realize this is going to happen when you get on the interstate
and people cut you off you shouldn't be shocked again yeah I can't believe this
can you believe people yeah believe it these are humans believe it when you
travel sometimes we don't get what we want
it's a grits me too but I've got to adjust to reality and wake up and think
today I'm going to extend the forgiveness that God has given me toward
other people and I'm not going to be shocked by their behavior yeah I
remember when I wrote finding home my first book about you know the story of
being an orphan kid which I had to go through all that as a young boy and the
one of the criticisms I received and you deal with criticism in an offender bowl
because criticism comes our way certainly as public people totally I
remember one person when I first started doing the radio program here focused
somebody wrote in and said Jim Daly's voice is too high I went wow that's
something I just can't help if people are offended by that I'm sorry and I'll
pray that God would give me a bit lower voice for him but I mean you can't do
much about that kind of thing the but in this case somebody reviewing the book
said Daly's best advice is to keep your expectations low which for me they just
missed the whole point what I was trying to say there is one way to survive a
world that is often offending you is to realize that people are people this mom
and dad are gonna let you down right relatives are gonna let you down that
you're gonna let yourself down now you could tag that with low expectations I
say it's realistic expectations would you agree absolutely and when someone
says I can't believe what my mom just said like think about that unpack that
how long's your mom and saying stuff like that like take out the trash yeah
57 years right at some point go ahead and believe that she said that people do
things like people do and they've done it for thousands of years and the first
two brothers that were born one of them killed the other one yeah the idea that
we're shocked by human behavior we if you're a Christian believer I mean we
should be the people who are not shocked we know what our hearts are like we know
what God's been willing to do for us like so to continue for us to be
constant righteous anger and just be up in arms about how everybody else is
behaving doesn't doesn't make sense we should be the ones who are the least
surprised when I know and I guess that realization that
we are in a broken world we're still sinners but were saved by grace thank
you Lord right we're trying to rectify these instantaneous impulses in us you
have I think a parking-lot story or her we almost got in a fight or something
now tell yours and I'll tell my maybe conflating different story I don't know
we'll go for it but um yeah I mean like oh I've had one day to the next I'm in a
parking lot and I'm pulling out and I was taking too much of the center and I
was blaming the person pulling in and then someone was within the place where
I was yesterday and I was blaming him and all that to say it's always we're
always the victims absolutely in our mind and there's actually a proverb this
is the first to testify always seems right mmm the first attack in my mind
gets who the first to testify is and every conflict and every inconvenience
and every it's it's me so obviously I think I'm right I always think my anger
is righteous but yeah we've had that I think I cited in the book almost getting
in a fistfight about a ping pong ping pong thing with my church fellas good
confession is good for the soul was it I didn't even realize it was a fight like
I'm not naturally give I don't pick up on cues like I said and then I realized
this guy's about to punch me in the face what did you cheat at pink no I was
saying that the rules are the serve goes this way like we're playing doubles so
you're straightening this guy well I guess and but but to have to stick it
out I mean my point in the book was we stuck it out we're still good friends
like we know were broken but people split up all the time we split up with
her church family we split up because we're constantly getting offended this
is the way the whole world operates we should be the ones that don't like we're
the ones who don't because we know we're broken so we should go yep that's us
again and extend forgiveness as God's forgiving it to us to other people this
is what we should be like now it's one thing to laugh about these funny
encounters and they happen from time to time but hopefully in your
sanctification process what you're driving at is there fewer and fewer yes
in terms of occurrence they're happening with greater time distance right I think
that's right is that the goal what about the person who wakes up every day the
believer who's saying you know I'm offended again if you're feeling
offended quite often is that something you should look at yeah I think so if
you here's the weird thing once we call it righteous anger we pat ourselves on
the back for being angry instead of doing the opposite which is deal with
your anger get rid of it before the Sun goes how do we know it's righteous anger
we don't that's just it God knows his angers rights just cuz
he's holy okay but some people hearing that right now are saying no no brant I
know what righteous anger is when I get upset at this politician or this
abortion doctor or that gay couple that lives nearby but see here's the problem
you're a sinner and God has chosen to forgive you in a cost blood-like can you
extend that to other people this is not to say what they're doing is right so
that's where people get thrown is there gonna I guess everything's okay then
you're just being a relativist totally not what I'm saying is that God's been
willing to forgive me I have to forgive my anger against them because I'm the
unmerciful servant if I don't look what he's done for me Jesus makes this story
very obvious like one man's forgiving a lot it won't extend that to someone else
now that said we should still take action against stuff but people confuse
anger with action in our culture I'd be probably noticed they think tweeting
about something look how angry I am everybody's angry all the time about
everything that's today's culture right but what we're called to do is actually
take action to correct injustice actually to do things
anger does not help us do that with a clear mind it actually inhibits our
clear mind we don't want our police our military acting out of anger but we do
want them taking action and so this is what I'm called to do as a believer is
to actually do things sacrifice do what I can but
patting myself on the back for being angry actually doesn't help anybody mmm
Brandt you had to wrestle with some faith issues when you're a young man I
think there were some anger issues when you're a boy describe what was going on
and how you begin to get a handle on your anger
even as a child yeah this is hard to talk about but it's a it's a good
question and I do reference it I'm a preacher's kid and we went through a lot
of stuff in the home from my dad that was the exact opposite of what he was
preaching I saw him preached three times a week
right and how old are you and how did you translate all the way growing up
there was it till the first is hypocritical or Oh totally I was scared
at home my parents divorced when I was in seventh or eighth grade and then
remarried each other and then divorced again and squaring that with the reality
of faith is very difficult and it made me extremely skeptical and I am a very
skeptical person it's just I'm so skeptical and I write about this son but
just I'm so skeptical it's chased me back around to Jesus because it's a good
thing because yes I think it is because you see human nature I think ma anybody
else who does anything about it hmm like he's the only one that acknowledges sin
and and does something about it that I can find in the things he said about how
we're not all we're not good none of us just strikes me as that's accurate right
so he says that like he's got the words of life and I don't know where else to
go the alternatives are not appealing to me then yeah I've had to work through
forgiving my dad instead of living in response to that the rest of my life
because I could say well it's righteous anger he was so wrong like yeah he was
wrong but I don't want to be defined by that
the rest of my life mm-hmm and God has forgiven me I've got to let go of that
anger in order to be healthy that's big and I appreciate your heart I think in
the book you mentioned a time when you were prepping for your radio program and
you were in maybe you didn't recognize it at first but you were going to
subscription oh no I recognized it okay so rather
than me paid the wrong picture run that you paint the picture but this I'm a
Christian radio host actually used to know this guy we used to be friends and
he wasn't a believer that I knew of or anything but he did a radio prep service
which cost the subscriptions like $50 a month and it gives you like the stuff to
talk about that day and so I had a password for it and so I
would download it and use it without paying and this went on at this
Christian station I was at for six eight months and suddenly he emailed me while
I was downloading and said hey what's going on man just check it in oh no he
could see you know my IP address or something and he knows the Christian guy
is stealing his stuff mm-hmm I guess this one off for a year I owed him like
600 bucks and so I could barely function like I've been stealing your eye mr.
Christian whatever I've been stealing from you for about a year huh and I need
to send you a check for $600 and he wrote me back and said you know what I'm
going to forgive you don't work so here's the non-christian guy seemingly
like I Know Who I am and we kid ourselves if we think we're not bad and
so when I when I recall that sort of stuff it's very difficult not to extend
that forgiveness to other people like if they if God has let me go for for being
that kind of person why can't I extend that to other people
I have to I don't have a choice is that a one-time decision
no it's every day and that's what I think I mean I'm thinking about a
specific offense that has occurred do you like your even as big as the deal
with your dad did you forgive him and move on no it's um it's it that I think
it's an ongoing decision it does get easier but I think it's the it's the
decision to relinquish the right to anger cuz again you'll feel things but
it's the idea that I'm not entitled to this anymore because of what God's done
for me and to be sure we know people have had family members murdered and
they let go of that anger because they have - that's the thing - besides the
fact that Jesus commanded us to forgive people and again not just
physiologically but our relationships suffer we go through it torpedoes other
relationships because we got anger that we haven't let go of because we're
constantly living in reaction to that thing that happened to us yesterday or
20 or 40 years ago and we've got to let it go you share
story in the book about a car accident I think that I don't know if as a friend
ears that was involved in this but what happened in this
accident why was it an illustration that you used ok she's extremely intelligent
and her dad is a very high-ranking professor at a major university and she
said she's an intellect in in an agnostic she drove into a construction
zone and hit a guy and actually it cost him his legs huh and she went and
visited the hospital room and he forgave her and he said it's because I believe
in God and I because I'm a Christian I have to let this go and I want you to
know I forgiving you well she's now a believer because of that Wow the power
of forgiveness yeah because there's nothing like there's nothing else in the
world that would give you that resource to do that my wife was attacked by a guy
on the street last year and we had to wrestle through this after I wrote the
book so it's like okay now what you got and the police didn't arrest him I had
to wrestle with that after writing the book the police did not arrest the guy
he kept walking past our front window we live on the sidewalk practically like
we're in a town house an old town house I saw him every day welcome but my wife
would see him I kept I went to the mayor the police like why haven't you arrested
this guy he assaulted her on the street threw her on the ground put her in a
headlock all this stuff but what had to pray about it and I went and finally I
was relentless and got him arrested but it took a long time but I never gave it
was like I still was taking action but it's like we were praying for him to the
point that our we felt for him hmm and we actually asked for leniency in the
sentencing we wanted mental health evaluations we wanted and but we got
that way because we realized we are sinners that's a long story short it's a
good story well and I hope I hope people realize too I'm not against putting
someone in jail or anything like that it was just it's just amazing how your
heart changes when you surrender that right and I didn't give up on getting
him arrested that is powerful so powerful let's work through a few more
examples for the Christian what's the alternative to reacting angrily and
acting offended how do we I mean roleplay with me oh man so I guess we'll
take you to the airport gee that's perfect right there
yes I think I would what is you're sitting on a plane and you're not
getting the service you think you deserve I think you can I think you can
act without anger and it'll be better than if he had anger Dallas Willard said
that too okay so you guys have brought a lot of travel examples and I do travel
and so I've experienced some of those incidents and had some of those feelings
but I'm thinking brand of a harder place to let go of anger and that's in the
home mm-hmm at home is where I find myself getting triggered I keep a happy
nice Jesus person face on here at work but I get home and there's a part of me
that comes out that I don't like so what can I do before I get home tonight to
kind of prepare for that well again because I know everything we've talked
about you're right there are there buttons but the I think understanding it
first of all that you do not entitled to righteous anger again and entering into
before you even go into that situation if you can ask God on the way home for
ten seconds like I please help me to be forgiving like it's really weird to I've
been married 28 years now and to continually be put off by who my wife is
if for her to be put off by me we know all this stuff now and to be able to
practice this with each other and drop things is so fresh and so wonderful like
quit trying to reform everybody and police the world in your own home it's
really hard because you're living with humans it's never gonna end you're
always gonna be chafing against it again it's not to allow all behavior like well
now my kids can do whatever they want that's not it at all but the idea that
I'm gonna be continually offended at my wife you know doesn't give me a heads up
on directions when we're driving like like how long is that gonna go on before
I'm like yeah we're broken and we can have a sense of humor about it I think
even allowing that we should we should drop things is a huge step and then
reminding ourselves before we go into it I do think workplaces it is actually not
easy for people and people are constantly offended at work and it's a
great idea to go these are the people I'm with
God put me with them and my boss is gonna do stuff that my boss does how do
I love love him or her anyway Brent when you look at I so often think
of a marriage in that context because you know how many times have we had
marriage experts here John it's Gary Thomas or Gary Chapman or some other
marriage expert Greg Smalley our very own but when you get down to it you
think why God why have you designed it like this why do you pull opposites
together so often I know not everybody is that way but you pull introvert and
extrovert together a night owl and morning person dark chocolate milk
chocolate and then you put them together and say okay make it work and then you
irritate each other and I think really it's simple it really is simple
to become more like Christ which is what giving sacrificial not as selfish
totally and you think of that system and then with what you're doing here with
unoffending it's similar in how you deal with people why does the Lord allow
people to irritate well so that you could become more like him and look
beyond that irritation to what God has created and this is love yeah like when
you don't feel it and you still extend grace to the person behind the counter
or that person at work like apparently God is really pleased by that
apparently it's obedience I mean this is what love looks like when you're not
feeling it in a marriage for instance and your wife like when I was writing
the book my wife brings me tea and I know she's not feeling in love with me
and she's had a long day or whatever I may have just aggravated her and she
still does it that's that is love like so this is a chance it does shape us to
make us more like Christ but it's also this is God's love language I think is
when we do things for people that aren't doing anything for us well Brent Hanson
you have done a wonderful job I think this is food for thought if we've
irritated you today be sure to contact us all probably most grants number but
seriously this is where it's at this is the action I would love and I work at
this every day and I don't do it perfectly and Jean would be the first to
tell you but it is something we as Christians need to exemplify we should
be different from the world and this is one of the core
is if everything's offending you maybe need a deeper relationship with Christ
and that's good and true for every one of us and Brandt you've done a wonderful
job here an unoffending trying to help us better understand the journey the
Lord has for us and thank you thank you guys for you hey I'm John fuller and
thanks for watching get more info about focus over here and more from our guests
over there and be sure to subscribe to our channel as well
you
For more infomation >> Deltarune試玩版第一章_概略劇情翻譯(三) - Duration: 27:46. 
For more infomation >> Renault Mégane 1.4-16V Authentique 5Drs - Duration: 1:10. 
For more infomation >> Opel Astra - Duration: 0:54. 
For more infomation >> ★ L o o k A t M e ★ - M E M E - Duration: 0:36. 
For more infomation >> Sabrina Sato comemora encontro de noivo e Gisele Bündchen: 'Vou mostrar pra Zoe' - Duration: 6:01. 
For more infomation >> Pro Evolution Soccer 2018 Konami - Duration: 0:46. 
For more infomation >> Mercedes-Benz E-Klasse E200 Avantgarde / Widescreen / Schuifdak - Duration: 0:58. 
For more infomation >> Peugeot 108 1.0 e-VTi Active nederlands auto ex leas - Duration: 1:10. 
For more infomation >> sharjeel khan come back in team || Big News Sharjeel khan Back in Pakistan Cricket Team - Duration: 1:26. 
For more infomation >> Função Somases Direto em Coluna de Listbox Excel VBA via Códigos - Duration: 8:59. 
For more infomation >> Golpe dos chineses I China Gate Importação - Duration: 6:41. 
For more infomation >> MES TENUES DE LA SEMAINE - #OOTW | Ariana mvl - Duration: 11:17. 
For more infomation >> 明治時代のキラキラネームをご覧ください - Duration: 3:56. 
For more infomation >> Justyna Żyła wybaczyła Piotrowi zdradę! Kto by się tego spodziewał! - Duration: 6:44. 
For more infomation >> 생활한복으로 연말룩 코디하기 + 연말파티 브이로그 feat.리슬 - Duration: 9:08. 
For more infomation >> Lucia Scanu - Piani Individuali di Risparmio - Duration: 1:25. 
For more infomation >> Testing the Rotax Thunder Electro Kart - Duration: 1:22. 
For more infomation >> Renault ZOE Q210 Intens Quickcharge 22 kWh (ex Accu) Camera, R-link, Climate, Cruise, Lichtm. velg. - Duration: 1:08. 
For more infomation >> Renault ZOE Q210 Intens Quickcharge 22 kWh (ex Accu) Camera, R-link, Climate, Cruise, Lichtm. velg. - Duration: 1:08. 
For more infomation >> Renault Captur TCe 90pk Dynamique R-link, Climate, Cruise, Lichtm. velg. - Duration: 0:49. 
For more infomation >> Dacia Logan MCV 0.9 TCE Easy-R LAUREATE - Duration: 0:53. 
For more infomation >> Renault Scénic TCe 115pk Intens R-link, Climate, Cruise, Lichtm. velg. - Duration: 1:11. 
For more infomation >> Renault Clio 1.5 dCi ECO Dynamique R-LINK NAVI CLIMA - Duration: 0:53. 
For more infomation >> Renault Scénic TCe 115pk Intens R-link, Climate, Cruise, Lichtm. velg. - Duration: 1:11. 
For more infomation >> Renault Clio 1.5 dCi ECO Dynamique R-LINK NAVI CLIMA - Duration: 1:05. 
For more infomation >> Dacia Logan MCV 0.9 TCE Easy-R LAUREATE - Duration: 1:05. 
For more infomation >> Trailer: Frontline Fashion 3 digital mini series - Duration: 0:33. 
For more infomation >> 대만 여자친구가 내게 바라는 3가지│對韓國男友的三個要求 - Duration: 5:45. 
For more infomation >> Мой Говорящий Том 2 #25 Друзья Анджела Хомяк My Talking Tom 2 Игровой мультик для детей Мультфильмы - Duration: 20:10. 
For more infomation >> 來台北用悠遊卡玩觸控式娃娃機!!還能印出自己拍的照片哦！【OurTV】生活VLOG - Duration: 8:03. 
For more infomation >> Nissan QASHQAI DIG-T 115PK TEKNA + BOSE | Navi | Nappa leder | Panoramadak - Duration: 1:11. 
For more infomation >> Mitsubishi Eclipse Cross 1.5 DI-T Pure | Rijklaarprijs - Duration: 1:05. 
For more infomation >> Kia Stonic 1.0 T-GDi 120pk ComfortPlusLine Navigator Camera, Navig., Trekhaak, Airco, 17'' Lichtm. v - Duration: 1:12. 
For more infomation >> Kia Stonic 1.0 T-GDi 120pk ComfortPlusLine Navigator Camera, Navig., Trekhaak, Airco, 17'' Lichtm. v - Duration: 1:12. 
For more infomation >> Mitsubishi Eclipse Cross 1.5 DI-T First Edition Automaat | Rijklaarprijs - Duration: 1:05. 
For more infomation >> Mitsubishi Eclipse Cross 1.5 DI-T 163PK 2WD CVT FIRST EDITION |AUTOMAAT |COMPLEET - Duration: 0:55. 
For more infomation >> Hyundai i30 1.0 T-GDI Comfort, RIJKLAAR - Duration: 1:13. 
For more infomation >> ASMR BHC Chicken 뿌링클 치즈볼 리얼사운드 먹방 咀嚼音 プリンクルチキン食べる音 音フェチ Cheese Ball EATING SOUNDS Korean mukbang - Duration: 10:59. 
For more infomation >> 【VLOGMAS#01】日本YouTuber的大阪京都出差日記 〜日本冬天好冷喔〜 - Duration: 9:36. 
For more infomation >> 我的上身訓練流程（中文字幕） - Duration: 9:45. 
For more infomation >> T.D Jakes 2018 Sermons - Speak The Word, And He Will Hear #Sunday - Duration: 1:51:43. 
For more infomation >> Soru Cevap 2 Kıta 1 Aile | Bende Afrikalı Biriyle Evlenmek İstiyorum, Tavsiyeniz Ne?😍 - Duration: 21:59. 
No comments:
Post a Comment