You can't walk around with this sword.
It should only be hanged on the wall.
So let them hang it on the wall, they already have toy swords.
We're playing tonight, are you coming?
I'll come!
I'M ELF
It's cute.
I'll take it.
It's my ring, I saw it first!
There are lots of other stuff left here.
Thank you.
But it's my ring!
Oops.
Please give me back the ring, it's mine.
I like your ears. Listen, you don't even need this ring, trust me, I know a thing or two about them.
Let's swap!
This is also a very strong amulet. It changes its colour when nazguls are close.
Funny, I didn't understand a word of what you've just said.
What if I use magic now?
Go ahead.
I blog about make-up and stuff like that, check it out, might find it useful.
Seems like there is nothing special about this ring at a first glance.
But it's actually a very magical, special thing.
Thanks to this ring I met this weirdo from our block of flats -
the queen of Elves.
She told me that if I listen to this ring
it will lead me to a very cool guy.
So I won't be talking about make-up today
I'll be listening to the ring.
Why necessarily in Siberia? They can live anywhere, we have forests all around.
Minstrels don't harbor in our climes.
You can't take the castle.
Why not?
Cause I used magic.
- You're out of magic. - I have my own.
We're either playing or...
You spent all your magic at the very beginning.
And what? I have my own magic.
Stop messing around.
We can't just transfer our magic to our warriors.
Stop saying minstrels do not exist.
The do, but they don't live in forests.
What are you doing?
Leaving the game.
Come on, what's up?
What?
Be silent.
I am.
Yeah this is kinda silly.
Why are you always attacking her?
You gotta play by the rules.
And all these imaginary minstrels have nothing to do with it.
I think she needs to find this minstrel.
If there's music there must be a musician playing it, right?
All musicians are in clubs. Right?
Looked there already. Nothing.
No name, no title, no videos.
Cool PR move - that hermit.
What if he does live in a forest?
I mean, cities of Masters exist, elf villages exist...
You can join her, she has already moved to the forest.
Great job. I'll do the handle.
I need your opinion.
- Alright, I'll listen to it and call you. - No-no, listen to it now.
It is a minstrel...
It's my minstrel!
I never heard anything like that!
- Where did you find this miracle? - May I?
Forward it to the end.
I don't want to.
Forward it, it's important.
Is it birds or a forest?
- I can't tell. - It's applause.
Can you hear it?
Your minstrel plays in clubs.
It's a concert in a forest! It's a minstrel tournament! That's what it is!
The ring brought me to you, the magic.
Oh come on, I just saw you and wanted to chat.
Will you give me the ring back?
And what will I get? Maybe you should give me your ears, they're pretty cool.
Listen.
It's him. And I need to find him.
Beautiful. And what?
Listen, girl, I need more likes.
You tell me about your elf make-up and the ring is yours, deal?
Elves don't do make-up, they don't even know such words.
What are you going on about? I goggled it.
Natural make-up is hot now.
Listen, you introduce me to your guys, I do my video and the ring is yours. Deal?
Just look at this dress! It must've cost at least a couple of thousands of dollars.
Are you crazy?
This is Eglador.
There is no dollars, boutiques and Shengen visas here! Everything is different here.
Let's go ask where she found this beauty,
or at least let's take a photo of it.
She makes them. Herself. And I make swords.
Each one of us here has their own magic.
I also want my own magic.
What is this?
I haven't seen you here before.
I'm new.
I'm Lily Brandybuc.
Frodo Baggins.
Olya.
Say again?
I don't have a name yet.
You'll get one.
Give the creature some miruvor.
I'm an elf...
I'm an elf!
Miruvor?
Only dirty gnomes get drunk. Shame.
Well actually I'm an elf. I'm a small elf.
Gvaeron.
Moranelle Aranea Raniana Lomeel.
Once upon a time there was a minstrel
who created beautiful music.
Nobody has ever seen the minstrel,
because he didn't like people and was afraid of elves.
Girls listened to his music and went mad.
Sweet dreams to all of you,
all the fat trolls will be banned.
Yeah-yeah, I'm already here.
Further? Should I go into the woods?
Can you meet me?
Ok, then I'm coming.
It's nice in here.
If it wasn't for the highway it would be like in a fairy tale.
The highway is only in your head.
Did you bring the ring?
Lost it or forgot it.
But we had a deal.
What are you worried about? We'll find your magical dude.
You still have enough time to catch a train.
Don't look at me!
I didn't know you were such a coward.
I'm transforming!
Into what? A shape-shifter?
Turn around right now!
Alright, alright, I turned around and I am not looking at you.
Looking in a completely different direction.
What's this noise?
Calming my nerves, it's easier to sleep like that.
Shall I strangle you?
You'll fall asleep forever and it will instantly get easier.
You can't strangle me. You'll go to jail.
You cannot judge elves.
So sleep quietly and don't disturb me.
Why do you think you're some kind of an elf?
I can also strangle you...
Listen, they say...
That they closed the presidential highway in Iceland because of you people...
It's a provocation, a stupid story for the tourists.
Were your parents elves too?
My parents are translators for Tolkien.
It all makes sense then...
Mom
I'll be away this weekend, going to stay with my friends in their country house.
Don't forget to do the dishes.
Did I say something wrong?
Are you crazy?
Who said you could take it?
I turned the whole flat upside down looking for it!
- Is this the reason for such a mess in your room? - It's not a mess.
I need to get ready for a wedding.
For what?
A wedding.
Cool ring.
Let's swap or let me borrow it, I'll give it back to you.
Don't tell me you're also looking for the minstrel.
I might be looking, but not for a minstrel.
This is not the ring the elf girl is looking for.
Do you know that if it wasn't for the ring you wouldn't even be here?
Well but I am here.
Done, I finally checked in.
What's the best thing to eat here?
What? I asked what I can eat here.
And that's all?
Weeeell...
I also posted a picture of lembas.
What?
What do you want to prove to this girl?
She has the elf nature.
Nature?
She's full of these likes and check-ins,
she'll never be one of us.
Actually she's gorgeous.
And much brighter than some of the dark elves.
Listen to you, maybe she'll be the first to find the minstrel?
And maybe she will! Because she has the elf soul.
And you are the expert on elves,
and we're just some dressed-up clowns, right?!
Have you never thought that I might be the minstrel?
Where did I get that recording from?
Maybe I made it!
Us dark elves are not chasing the world's acclaim.
Go away.
Did you fight because of me?
You are crazy indeed.
Give me the ring back.
I will once I see that your minstrel is a normal dude, alright?
You promised.
And Naoori promised me to show me the real fight.
So the ring is working.
Dears, it's time to say goodbye.
Tomorrow I'm going to a battle and will be killing orcs, elves, nazguls
and other scum.
Lovely day to you all, don't forget to "like".
- Ou! - Shh!
An arrow into the eye is the last thing I want.
I don't understand, why are we on one side and the efl girl - on the other?
We live in the same house.
- Small one, explain. - The elf girl has chosen the Light side.
Like a romantic she is.
Yes, we chose the right side a long time ago.
I don't want to be on the dark side.
- There is no Dark. - I'll explain later.
Do I have magic?
Listen. Let's meet after the battle, I'll explain everything.
- So do I have my magic? - Stop your off-game chat!
Your last hour is upon you, servants of Morgot!
We will water this earth with your dark blood!
Can you imagine, Naoori promised to share his magic...
What else did he promise?
Well he promised... to enlighten...
Said that otherwise I'll just stay here in this sandbox.
Really? He said that?
He said that he'll show me real magic.
Cool. He will if he promised.
Listen, take off the bandage, it looks scary.
The servants of Evil should die, this will cleanse the world of Darkness.
There is no Darkness.
You think you are so special with your silicon ears, contacts and all these stuff?
Look at yourself, weirdo.
Oh the holy music of the minstrel,
Oh I'm transitioning into something unearthly,
oh, I need the magical ring...
And your minstrel is entertaining people on trains.
Well dear trolls
Would you like to hear a fairy tale?
I joined the battle under the stars
and drank blood of lost elves.
Then I got caught,
taken to the land of dead
and... oops...
executed.
And now I live in a completely different world.
And this blog ceases its existence.
Peace to all ours.
Yeah mum?
Stop panicking, I have more than enough time to pack my stuff.
No, we're leaving the weapons behind.
I need more magic, where can I buy it?
You can buy a ring, but not the magic.
But I can give it to someone who knows how to use it.
All is clear, you want my ring.
What other surprises do you have?
I'm sorry but now I'm also an elf.
Then you need the right ears.
Shall we say our goodbyes?
Stop being angry with me.
I'm leaving.
Going into space?
Passport, visa, Reykjavik.
That's cool, respect.
Wait.
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