[upbeat music]
Hello InnerTubers, how 'bout another basic cooking lesson?
And, have you been listening to my morning meditations?
Well, I figured pancakes would go perfectly with morning meditations.
You get up, you do your meditation, you do your poopie, and then you make pancakes.
Yeah, wouldn't that be awesome?
Doesn't everybody poopie in the morning?
I mean, what, you didn't expect that out of me?
C'mon. You know me better than that.
I'm not sure if you remember, but my basic cooking series is extraordinarily popular with a couple
of different kinds of people.
There's the people who are just newly moved out from home, maybe young millenials or,
you know, people who've been hanging on their parents' coattails forever.
And another bunch of people is those who are newly single, particularly widowers - men
in their 40s, 50s and 60s who never had to learn to cook.
So, I'm happy to help.
And, pancakes!
What's more comforting than pancakes?
Unless you're gluten-free, and then, I understand that if you're careful, in some stores, some
stores even have a whole frikkin' section of gluten-free shit that you can buy.
And you can still have pancakes.
Think about the kind of pancakes you want before you go to the store.
Do you want fruit in them?
Do you want to put jam and peanut butter on them?
Oh, and by the way, there's a link down below in the description about all kinds of crazy
fucking shit you can do with your pancakes.
I thought it was hysterical.
I hope you do.
Make yourself a shopping list.
That'll be very very very helpful so that you don't overbuy at the grocery store.
Cuz I'm assuming that you're on some sort of budget.
Most everybody is unless you're super fucking rich and then why are you watching my videos.
You've probably got somebody cooking for you anyway.
I'm very much a traditionalist with my pancakes.
I just want blueberries in them and butter and syrup on them.
Simple. Really simple.
Oh, and another thing to think about as you get ready to cook and we'll get into this
a little bit more with the prep, do you want thick fluffy pancakes?
You know, the kind that are like a pillow?
Or do you like thin pancakes, the kind that the syrup just - - - oh - - - the syrup, yeah,
the syrup.
I like my pancakes thinner than I am.
That's how I like 'em.
Another advantage to thin pancakes, if you make 'em really thin like crepes, you can
roll shit up in 'em, and make like a pancake burrito.
For those of you who don't live anywhere near someplace where they serve Mexican food, that's
rolled up shit that you put in your hand and you eat it.
It's delicious.
[off camera What about frozen pancakes?]
I'm not sure if you heard that, but some douchebag just asked me about frozen pancakes.
No.
Please no.
You've got to be terribly desperate or really unwilling to cook if you're gonna buy frozen
pancakes.
No.
Fuck no!
You don't need to spend a fuckton of money on fancy implements or pans to make pancakes.
You can make 'em in a flat griddle which, of course, is really easy, or you can even
make 'em in a little old fry pan.
This one's, I don't know, look at the back of it, man.
I've been using this for, well, a long time.
And, I got a hot tip for you.
I'm gonna cook one pancake in the griddle and I'm gonna cook the test pancake in the
small pan so that I can prove to you that you can use either one.
I suppose you're wondering about tools.
Spatula.
I happen to have 3 different sizes because, well, I've been using a kitchen for a long
fucking time.
One is all you need.
You need some sort of whisk or a spoon or a long-handled fork.
You need some sort of measuring implement.
Even this little thing that came with my soap!
You can use it.
It's got measure marks on it.
Measure cups.
Can you tell how old these things are?
Yeah.
The thing of it is, once you buy the shit once, you have it.
As long as you treat your shit right, you keep it forever.
I know the retail stores don't like that, but you don't need to buy something new every
fucking year.
Woooo.
Perhaps most important is a clear mixing bowl.
I like to use this one as a measure pitcher because it just makes it easier to pour.
Although, I'll also show you how to dip your pancakes out with a little tiny scoop.
Are you ready to mix this shit?
I thought so.
Now listen this is not a sponsored video.
This just happens to be my favorite brand of pancake mix.
And the #1 reason that I'm telling you about it is because the directions on the back are
fuckin' foolproof.
You would have to be some sort of - well - you just, you couldn't read or you couldn't understand,
or whatever the fuck.
If you don't pay attention, you're not gonna be able to make pancakes.
So just pay attention.
Put on your big girl and big boy panties, okay?
It even tells you how to get your griddle ready.
We'll show you that in a minute.
It tells you to put a little oil in it and it tells you how much heat, and it tells you
how to test it.
That's super important.
Up here in the red: how many pancakes do you want?
6-8, 12-16, 18-22.
Let's just start out small.
Okay?
Start out just feeding you.
We can even in half this recipe for 6-8.
Although they don't say what size those pancakes are, so, well, what the hell.
I've got people here who can eat these pancakes when I'm finished, so we'll see.
And I might have one or two.
That calls for 1 cup of mix and 3/4 of a cup of water.
And, actually, that's very important when you're shopping for pancake mix at the store.
If it calls for milk and eggs and all this other bullshit, just say NO!
Just find the one that's super simple.
Batter and water.
Done.
In a pan.
Good.
I like to hold the box open like this when I'm gonna put my measure cup in it, because
it just makes it easier and it doesn't get shit all over the place.
It's super handy to have a knife right next to where you're working so that you can smooth
off the top of the measure. And the deal is you use the back side of the knife.
The smooth side.
And you just scrape off the extra very gently.
Very gently.
Very gently back into the box.
Now you know you have one cup. BOOM
Down you go.
Now, it just so happens that this little measure also has a 3/4 mark, so you put your finger
right here so that when you put the water in it, you know exactly how much water you've got.
Now, remember that I told you I like my pancakes a little thinner?
The directions on the box say that if you like your pancakes thinner, add more water,
and stir it for a little bit longer.
So that's what I'm gonna do.
So that's just about halfway between 3/4 of a cup and 1 whole cup.
Boom.
There we go.
Let's mix this shit.
Boom.
Ready to go.
Except that it also says if you want thin pancakes, you have to keep beating all the
lumps out.
It's like, I dunno.
I'm not gonna go there.
You know Granny doesn't go there, cuz we don't beat anything.
We're all about the love.
So, before we go over to the stove, you guys, hey, please remember to subscribe if you're
on YouTube and follow if you're on Facebook, and share my shit everywhere.
I'll tell you that again later, too.
Now the directions on the box say to use a medium-high heat and to me, that's what that
looks like.
The directions on the package say that you have to put a little Crisco in the bottom
of the pan (or some sort of oil), but I'm not sure that you really need that in a Teflon pan.
What the fuck.
If you're one of those people who freaks out about Teflon, then use another pan.
I'm good with that.
Here's another test.
According to the package, to find out if the pan is the right temperature . . .
see how the water drops will sizzle.
So this is our test pancake.
Just a little tiny one, okay?
Little tiny one, see how it spreads around.
All right, see how the bubbles are coming up?
This is how you know it's getting cooked.
What you wanna watch for is that once a bunch of these bubbles have popped and it gets a
little sheen on the top, oh, then it's time to turn it over.
Oh, look how perfect that is.
First try.
Yay, Granny for the win.
Little tiny bit more.
We'll lift up the edge.
What've we got here?
We got any color going on yet?
Nope. No color.
Not yet.
Let it sit there another little tiny bit.
D'you see how by disturbing it the bubbles went away?
You gotta wait 'til it's all bubbles.
It's like when you fry an egg, you gotta wait 'til it's almost done at the top.
Cuz, when you turn it over you just get a little tiny bit more cooking.
I know, this is like watching a pot of water boil.
It seems to take forever, but don't take your eyes off it because then it'll be done.
See this part over here?
Already done.
I think we're ready.
Ahhh, we got some color now.
Here we go.
Put your . . . put your spatula under it . . . and flip it.
BAM!
Awwwww. Doesn't that look perfect?
It cooks for just another little tiny bit.
You don't cook it as long on the second side cuz it's already almost cooked before you
ever turn it over.
We lift it up and see.
Ah.
Another tiny little bit.
While you wait for it, now it's time to get your plate ready.
Let's move that big pan over and make us some real pancakes here, kids.
Pancake 1.
Pancake 2.
Pancake 3.
Pancake 4.
So, I'm guessing that the measurements for 6-8 pancakes were for these that are, oh,
what would you say, about the size -- little less the size -- of a hamburger patty?
So, I guess you could get 6-8 of these out of there.
Not the big giant ones that they serve you in a restaurant.
Now, something I don't like about a square pan on a round burner is that you can see
there's different areas of the pancake that are getting cooked before other areas.
And, it's a little difficult to turn 'em around, but we're gonna give this a try.
Okay?
[muttering to self]
This right here is a fail, 'cuz I forgot to put the oil in the bottom of the pan.
So, now we know why you have to put a little oil in the bottom of the pan because they
will stick even to a Teflon pan.
Well, you know what?
Not every lesson I do is gonna be perfect.
Ugggghhhh.
We're gonna move this over here.
This is the failure pan.
Let's do the sizzle test.
Just beginning to sizzle.
There we go.
I'm just gonna cook these fuckers one at a time.
The treat of the century here?
I'm gonna throw some blueberries in.
Oh, yeah.
Now, I bet you think my blueberries look really weird don't you?
Well, that's becaue I cut 'em in half because if you leave 'em whole, then sometimes the
batter doesn't cook evenly around them.
Look at that!
Look at those bubbles in the top!
Ohmygosh, this is gonna be perfect.
Eeee. I got blueberries sticking together.
We don't want that.
That's another test.
If it doesn't quite move...if it's not ready to move, it's not done on the bottom yet.
See there?
Getting stuck a little bit still in the middle.
We've got done around the edges, but not in the middle yet.
What do you think?
Should we give this a try?
Oh, yeah, slides nicely.
You see how that happened?
Boom! YEAH!
Actually, I'm not the pancake cooker in my family, uhhhh, so I'm learning this the same
time that you are.
I don't know if you can hear that, but you can actually hear the blueberries sizzling.
Can you see the steam?
Hooooh.
Ahhhhh, check it out!
Over you go.
Oh, dear.
If there's any kids watching, that's my best attempt at Mickey Mouse and it really looks awful.
Let's try one more and see if I can get this shit right.
So, we got a little more oil.
That's what it's supposed to sound like.
Yeah.
Because what is life without blueberry pancakes?
Close.
Let's get the BIG spatula.
Let's go big.
Here we go.
Phew!
[upbeat music plays in background]
Finally.
I don't think they'll ever hire me at Waffle House, but I did it.
We'll just cover the other guy up.
I learned my lesson.
You remember earlier when I said I wasn't sure about putting the oil in the pan, even
if it's Teflon?
Well, you saw that I fucked it up and I learned my lesson, but at least I got one really good
pancake out of it, and the "twins" are here and Rod's gonna eat it because he said he'll
eat anything that I fix.
Vince would love them, but, you know, Vince is the gluten-intolerant kinda one, so,
too bad, Vince, too bad.
You see, even I fuck things up, so if you fuck up your first batch of pancakes, don't
feel bad, okay?
Hey, if you've been following my channel for any length of time at all, you know that this
company called tinysponsor has come to the table to help me with the editing.
That's why we get things to look so flash.
Tinysponsor is the only creator-first marketplace for creators and influencers and if you are
an influencer, well, you should just hook 'em up and get yourself a profile and customize
the kind of videos that you would like to engage with sponsors for.
And, hey, if you are a brand or a company or an organization - someone who would like
to sponsor me - or anyone else you can think of - check out the tinysponsor website.
Yeah.
That's what I'm saying.
And, hey, you know why?
Because Granny says so.
It's the tits!
Patreon grandkids, what do you think of this?
First of all, thank you so much for supporting what I do and helping along with tinysponsor
to keep me solvent.
And what kind of pancakes are your favorite?
Let me know.
And all the rest of you guys, for fuck's sake, yes, if you have a pancake of your childhood
that is absolutely the best thing you love, tell us about it.
Let's have a pancake discussion in the comments.
That would be just major MEGAtits right there.
Oh, and you know there's gonna be the commercial.
Follow on the Facebook, subscribe on the YouTube, share my shit everywhere, leave a comment,
hit the thumbs up button, you know, all that shit that just shows people that you love
what I do.
Because I love you.
You know I do.
Don't make me cry.
It's pancake time. I can't be crying.
Fuck NO!
Hah haah.
You're all so wonderful.
[blows kiss]
Granny Loves You.
All of you.
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