We're back
and ready to welcome our next case of the day
with this quote by Spanish writer
Francisco de Quevedo y Villegas.
It reads,
<i>"The wisest man is not the one </i>
<i>who knows where the treasure is.</i>
<i> It's the one who</i> <i> works to extract it."</i>
Bring out the litigants.
You can keep something secret and hide it wherever you want
but at the end of the day, the truth always comes out.
It's my body.
I'll decide what I do with it.
It's that simple.
Good afternoon and welcome.
-Good afternoon. -Good afternoon, ma'am.
Rodolfo, you're the plaintiff
Tell me who Lizete is, why you're suing her,
and what you demand to settle this case.
Thank you, ma'am.
Lizete is my ex-wife.
I'm here because I need your help.
I demand that she return what's mine.
I saved up all my life to acquire it
and she stole it from me.
She has something that belongs to me
and she has it stashed inside her vagina.
It's a dildo I obtained at an auction.
I'm a businessman.
We both obtained it!
Wait a minute.
It's a vibrator?
Yes, a vibrator.
How long has she had it inside her vagina?
Over two and a half years now.
I know it sounds strange, ma'am...
Okay.
Give me all the details.
I need an explanation
because this is starting to sound absurd.
Sadly so, but this is real.
Alright.
Look, I'm a businessman.
I buy and sell things.
I buy them cheap and sell them for twice as much.
I met my ex-wife approximately three years ago.
We dated for about six months
and decided to get married.
Unfortunately so.
We got married and we were so happy at first...
I wasn't happy.
Wait a minute.
It was great.
We were in love; we had a great sex life and money.
We had sex whenever you weren't away on business.
That was for our own good, baby!
It was for our own good.
I'd travel to auctions to buy things on the cheap
in order to sell them here in Miami.
Our relationship started out quite nicely.
I figured it was time to have kids.
We both agreed to conceive.
We got down to business as all couples do.
Apparently, things turned out fine,
because 20 days later she called me.
I was out of town at an auction at the time.
She told me we were going to be parents.
I left the auction because I was so moved
and delighted at news that I was becoming a father.
I came right back and took her to the gynecologist.
The gynecologist told us it was a high-risk pregnancy.
I bought her everything she needed so she'd be okay.
I had her rest up so nothing would happen to my son...
To our son.
Since she was okay, I went off on another business trip.
I was working to find more things to re-sell.
She called me halfway through one of those trips
to tell me that she felt bad.
So, I came back.
Turns out we lost our child.
Okay.
It was very painful.
I became depressed.
He knows I had a lot of complications.
That's exactly why I invited her
to spend New Year's Eve with me in Amsterdam.
We had a great time.
We left all our troubles behind.
It's like we started anew.
After having celebrated the new year,
a rather odd auction came up.
That's the auction where we acquired the dildo.
It was a sex toy auction.
You can't imagine the things we saw there.
So you bought this vibrator at an auction in Amsterdam.
Yes.
-How much did you pay? -$30,000.
Why is that dildo worth $30,000?
It's made of gold.
Oh, it's made of gold.
18-karat gold.
Oh...
It's approximately 10 centimeters long.
Do you have pictures?
Yes, I gave them to Production.
Let's see it.
Oh...
That's my missing dildo.
After buying it, we came back to Miami
and started using it.
Oh, so you tried it out.
Gold prices were in decline,
so we decided to safe keep it.
Gold prices were bound to go back up.
Okay.
We stored it away, but ended up using it.
Okay.
We had a party one night.
We had to use it.
His penis never satisfied me.
Not in the very least.
Okay.
We had a party one night.
There was alcohol, food... the works.
We were all having a great time.
My guests ended up staying over with their dates.
We went back to our room
and like any drunk couple, we ended up having sex
and falling asleep.
To our surprise, the next day my dildo went missing.
I woke her up.
"My dildo! Where's my dildo?"
We searched the whole house and asked all our guests.
No one had anything or said anything.
I said, "No one's leaving until I get my dildo back."
We searched everywhere to no avail.
We even filed a claim.
Show me.
So the police came and investigated.
Give me the entire folder.
We pressed charges against all our guests.
Here's a police report
for a missing 18-karat gold vibrator worth $30,000.
And here is...
the invoice from the auction where you bought the vibrator.
It's under both your names, as you can see.
Very well.
Eventually, you two divorced.
After the dildo went missing,
our relationship went downhill.
She wouldn't see me or talk to me...
She wouldn't even kiss me good morning!
He was very distraught after losing the dildo
because it was so expensive.
How'd you find out she had the dildo?
So we divorced and a year went by.
Just three months ago,
I realized my dildo never went missing.
I nearly killed my friends after accusing them
of having stolen my dildo.
One of the guests who'd attended the party
called me up to tell me who had the dildo.
Turns out my ex-wife has my dildo.
She has it shoved up her vagina.
For about a year now, too.
Yes.
That's the amazing part about all this.
How do you respond, Lizet?
First of all, I also demand justice.
He hasn't stopped harassing me since he found out.
He shows up at my house yelling
so all my neighbors can hear him.
Let me talk.
He shows up at my house, calls me non-stop...
he won't leave me alone!
I'm afraid.
I'd like a restraining order.
What if he manages to catch me on the street
and forces it out of me?
Don't you think it's more important
Lizet.
How did you not realize
you had that thing inside of you for so long?
I never felt discomfort.
I didn't feel anything.
I did notice increased pleasure during sex,
but I never felt anything that bothered me.
Until three months ago when I felt sharp pain in my abdomen.
I even started bleeding.
I went in for a check-up.
Turns out I had some ovarian cysts.
I managed to treat them with some medication,
so they're gone now.
However, in the scans I had done of my vagina
you can clearly see the dildo lodged in my vagina.
My uterus is tilted back.
That's where the dildo is now.
I never realized it because I never felt discomfort.
On the contrary, it was amazingly pleasurable.
I loved it.
It never occurred to me that I had that thing inside me.
ended up inside yousomehow
that night of the party and it never came out.
I never went in for a check up, so...
You never went to the doctor or to the gynecologist
for your annual check-up?
No, ma'am.
I work really hard, so I never had time to go.
Nor did I have the need.
Okay.
After your gynecologist discovered this,
what'd they suggest?
Are you to have it removed?
No.
I have the medical report right here.
The doctor said there's no risk in keeping it there.
It's become a part of my body.
There's no way it can harm me or cause any issues.
This report states,
"The patient Lizet Gonzalez appears to have an object
trapped inside her pelvis.
To our knowledge, the object does not pose a threat
to the patient's life or state of health."
There isn't a problem here.
He wants me to undergo surgery to have it extracted
so he can sell it.
All he cares about is money.
My health is at stake!
I want my money back.
I've had a miscarriage before.
The doctor said surgery would be risky.
I only have one ovary.
I managed to conceive, but things didn't work out.
Okay, understood.
Now, when you got divorced,
was there a separation of assets?
Yes, ma'am.
At the time, we rented a house
and had a car that we still owed $1,000 on.
I decided to give her the car.
Didn't you have any other assets?
What about furniture?
Didn't you have furniture?
The furniture came with the house, ma'am.
Oh, it was fully furnished.
We only had $40,000 in capital.
What about jewelry or valuables?
We each kept our own belongings.
We split everything evenly.
Okay, understood.
We each went our own ways.
Now, I demand...
Who brought witnesses?
I did, ma'am.
Bring out the plaintiff's witness.
Very well...
You bought this item while still married, correct?
Yes.
With my money.
What do you mean? You were married.
She never worked.
Hey!
You were still married, so it doesn't matter if she worked.
Okay.
Good afternoon.
Good afternoon, ma'am.
My name is Elsa.
I used to be friends with this bitch a few years back.
We were never friends.
The day her dildo went missing, she blamed me.
I was the main suspect. She sent cops to my house!
You weren't the only one. We charged everyone else, too.
The cops arrived at my house and interrogated me.
It was humiliating,
but thankfully they managed to prove that it wasn't me.
That was the end of that.
Now that I know she has it inside of her,
I'm pissed off.
I'm here to vindicate myself.
-And that's not all. -There's more?
I found out through some friends of mine
that she's been she's been looking to borrow money
for a flight to Spain.
What does that have to do with this?
You're running away with my dildo!
She wants to go to Spain.
Come on!
Rodolfo... she's taking it.
I know. That's why I'm here.
Ma'am, I can't undergo surgery!
Please welcome Dr. Moises Irizarry,
sexologist Williams Lucena, and attorney Lizette Sierra.
Why'd you have to meddle, huh?
Neither of you has a say about what I do with my body.
Okay.
Dr. Irizarry.
Through the scans,
you can see this woman has a vibrator lodged in her pelvis.
There's a doctor that claims this poses no threat.
Is that true?
It's still a foreign object inside her vagina.
As with all foreign objects, she runs the risk of sepsis,
which is a severe infection that can enter the bloodstream
and cause further complications.
Now, just because there's a foreign object inside of her
the more complicated the extraction will be.
There could be scar tissue formed around the area
and it may get stuck to that tissue.
Does this entail invasive surgery
or can a vaginal extraction be performed instead?
It can be performed as a vaginal extraction.
Now, if complications arise,
invasive surgery will be necessary.
It'll be like a cesarean
where they cut into the lower pelvis.
Okay.
Now, Mr. Lucena.
She claims to be experiencing heightened levels of pleasure
since the incident.
She has a foreign object in her vagina
and she's experiencing greater pleasure.
Is that plausible?
Not consistently,
but if she's experiencing stronger orgasms,
then it does make sense.
She's experiencing cervical orgasm.
Cervical orgasm is different from clitoral orgasm.
Cervical orgasm is felt throughout the body.
The sensation emanates throughout
whereas a clitoral orgasm
mainly stimulates the pelvic region.
There's a stark similarity to a penile orgasm.
Okay, cool.
So she has heightened sensation.
Yes, apparently.
Okay.
Let's talk about the important part.
These two people have been divorced.
I've yet to see their divorce papers,
but they claim there weren't all that many assets
to split besides a car.
Divorce papers usually specify
if there's a piece of property
that's currently missing.
They probably should've mentioned the missing item.
Even if it was missing.
He's doing the right thing by filing a civil claim
to demand his half.
He has the right to his share.
Legally, you could argue that she was trying to hide it.
There could be repercussions for that.
He might end up receiving more of the item's worth
if they manage to prove this.
Under different circumstances,
I'd probably do that...
but in this case I truly believe it was lost.
They called the cops, filed charges...
I think they just got so drunk
they forgot they'd been fooling around with it.
God knows.
She had this planned out!
That may be true,
but I'm not convinced she was trying to steal it.
I don't think so.
I'm no doctor,
but it's odd that she didn't feel anything
over the span of an entire year.
Right.
Curiously enough...
Yes?
The deeper regions of the vagina
actually don't have many nerve endings,
so things can actually get lost in there.
You can lose a diaphragm, a condom...
You can lose tampons.
That's fairly common.
I've seen cases where it happens.
So it really could've gotten lost.
I have no evidence
that she was actively trying to steal it.
Okay.
My ruling...
This is a valuable that was bought in wedlock.
He claims it was bought with his money,
but under marriage, that money belonged to you both.
There was no prenuptial agreement
and no separate accounts were ever set up.
I consider the money you spent
was part of your joint marital funds.
Therefore, you have a right to half
of what that dildo is worth.
Listen up!
Depending on its worth, you owe him $25,000.
I think it needs to be evaluated first,
but if you also think it's worth $50,000,
you're to pay him half that amount in a matter of 30 days.
That's it.
If you don't have that kind of money,
have it extracted, sold, and then split the earnings.
That's my ruling.
It's final. Case closed.
Be kind, be careful, get educated,
respect others so you'll be respected,
and may God help us.
See you next time. Thanks for joining me.
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