The Beast inside of me Things this beast really enjoys Football talking NFL But also this beast has tough times and days how about you?? Check out my new Channel were men can talk about how they feel in life and still can be men and beast and to not feel alone and all the other emotions that can come with depression anxiety PTSD bipolar anything MNPolarbeast
boxing the anxiety out making myself feel better getting the beast out
it's the Beast it's the Beast um just not I filling it lately not filling it
lately the beast that is right here they're right here right here on my
shoulders right here on this tour rotor cuff from boxing I had never had fixed
because of damn insurance companies you know go therapy go therapy go therapy go
physical therapy go physical therapy I'll fix it
um what I'm here to talk about it's Thursday it's November 1st 2018 whoa we got
some NFL week 9 picks football got Oakland Raiders playing the San Francisco 49ers
that's right an Oakland Raiders will win we hope
right the ones that pick them hope and also we hope it for the San
Francisco 49ers group fans that San Fran wins but um I got Oakland pick for
tonight and uh but when I'm not here to talk about football I'm here to talk
about the beast that's buried up inside me that's right let it roll one so this
isn't a mental disturbance
you may because they took down your statue no really no it's about money
just hang a sign around your neck saying punch me five dollars you make big money
what you haven't peaked yeah Peaked there's still some stuff in the
basement what basement yeah tell me about the
stuff what about it tell me about the stuff inside he's angry angry are you
mad because Adrian left you she didn't she died okay okay okay okay
you know sometimes it's hard to breathe I feel this beast inside of me
it's okay is it okay
I know I just never supposed to be this hard
it wasn't like this Paulie you know
I think you want to come I got a job here
I understand remember you said if you stay one place long enough you become
that place Rocco this is all my got I understand
but if you get time even come down and see me train I appreciate course Rocco
bye goodbye rock off take a rock Oh
all right now if you're still with me after that it's the best way I could
explain off of a clip from a movie off of a Rocky Balboa movie on how I feel
and I do I feel buried inside right now I used to love working out used to love
hitting the punching bag the speed bag till I tore my rotor cuff
I used to do so many things that I really enjoyed and for us men this is
mainly for the men out there that watch my channel for us men and even young
guys young whippersnappers as we get older and as we even just daily daily
activities dealing with friends dealing with bullies dealing with whatever it
can be a tough it can be really tough it can be really tough um but for myself
the Beast gets buried up inside me and sometimes I just don't know how to get
it out no I just I go through my changes in my life every year and the seasons
change you can see it my YouTube channel and know it I'm not talking
about the subscribers on you guys and gals I'm talking about how I upload
videos and I'll delete them because in my head they're just not good enough or
they're not funny or I'm not getting what I really want to talk about or damn
it sucks being a beast sometimes doesn't it
having that emptiness sometimes and you gotta fight for it you gotta get it back
you know what I started this channel off on health fitness and my condition and
the ones that know about it I've been following me for years months
decades I'm just kidding man this is for the guys it's not always easy as it it's
not always easy we can be strong we're gonna fix things
be strong for our family friends but deep inside sometimes we can't even be
strong enough for ourselves and then that anger comes out that beast comes
out and stuff starts to fall apart man I'm talking about it you see this stuff
I'm supposed to insulate those walls right yeah I'm don't you
see this ceiling I got it almost done right you see those as I'm drinking my
morning coffee this should already been done this room should have already been
done why why isn't it because the damn beast inside isn't letting me finish it
that's crazy right that's crazy no I just start focusing on football a lot I
love football I love my sports you know I don't always have to pick the right
teams right and I do it for a reason I don't always pick all the right teams I
do it for a reason for because I like to I like to stir things up I like to stir up
the pot I like to have fun and I like to have fun with my friends that I follow
back and I don't share my subscriptions but I follow almost everybody that
follows me that comments that makes videos like I do on any kind of subjects
and I know I don't know I I'm not going to talk about the beast inside because I
don't think you all want to hear that stuff I think what you want to hear is
the NFL week picks and stuff like that we'll keep it like
that I just wanted to I know that I'm not gonna get that made use it on this
video so I'm okay I'm letting it blend this play and talk but no that's just
how I'm I'm uh having those uh that damn life you know that damn life you know I
have your ups and downs but sometimes as we get older that damn beast especially
for this beast it can be a
I started this channel few years back now I was all over the place and the
ones I had stuck with me no it was all over the place because there's this
beast inside like Rocky Balboa said and
when I get this I never really came out and just said it you know I just started
bouncing around the subject I'm crazy because it crazy Beast woo you know
sometimes I do feel crazy and it's just because this beast that this beast that
gets older and older as I gain weight or lose weight but I get weaker and then I
get stronger as men we lose things in life we lose things that are close to us
and that's hard for us to accept we lose our changes and our body that's hard for
us except we start lifting weights we start working out we start going back to
the gym or we go to like I did I bought a lot of weights I bought a heavy bag or
speed bag years ago and I just started cranking out the weights cranking out
the protein drinks Mr. Hyde and everything but what I'm trying to talk
say is um my energy levels go from all over the place
my motivation goes all over the place and there's always something I'm missing
there's always something I'm missing in my life that I'm not fully happy with
and does anybody else have that problem anybody else have that emptiness that
they're they want back in their life man
just one of those days right just one of those days I said I wouldn't talk about
any of this kind of stuff so now I'm just gonna cross the subject barely
lightly but uh the MNPolarbeast how's that sound short for bipolar beast
instead just the MNBeast how about the MNPolarbeast and I
do you make videos and I like them I'll be following ya that's just how I am
that's how the Beast rolls but the Beast said he wasn't going to talk about it at
all during the NFL season about the beast inside me and I'm not going to I'm
just going to say guys sometimes life just doesn't throw us the right punch
right or we're missing something that we wish we had back or we wish we had that
motivation or that energy it can be a damn right out depressed it can be a tough
battle with PTSD bipolar depression it can be a tough battle going to work it can be a tough battle just
hanging out with the friends different times the season depression it's hard time too
sometimes I have to shut my doors because I don't shut my doors that
doesn't make any sense I don't open my damn door especially
this time everybody's knocking hey you want to pass out this flyer you want to
pass out this Flyers the ones that do knock that I answered
yeah that's awesome because I do appreciate those ones but man there's so
many other ones I just I know this is going all over the place because I just
don't give a stuff the beast is worn or now
I'm with you man I'm with you damn I'm wearing my same sweat pants I
have more the last freaking five days that's how bad it is lately for me I
have a hard time just pulling myself out of bed hell I got a hard time trying to
get myself to go to bed and I have a hard time getting motivated to do
anything he'll look at my channel and nothing about subscribers and views I
look at some videos I just delete the delete them because I just didn't like
them not about the views and I that I just delete them and then after I
delete them a couple days later like oh why did I do that it's like going to the
gym and lifting weights damn it that drops that didn't work out well I didn't
like it I didn't like what I benched man I wanted freaking five reps I only got
two I'm not going to talk about this I'm not gonna cover this subject too
much I just wanted to be still has his issues and I know that my other fellow
beasts we're all the same right we're all the same we're not all not
everybody's perfect we all have issues some of us is that's just what it is
right just reaching out to the ones that know me and follow me and been following
me the Beast is I feel empty inside lately and I just want to let y'all know
that and be strong and if you could be a little strong for me right now because
the beast man I just damn it sucks getting old trying to keep
the weight off keep the weight everything that's real
talk it's real talk I don't know what they'll say about that
hey yourselves great day enjoy your Thursday and Sunday NFL week 9 picks night football and we'll be
talking they say I might cover this it on my channel late again I just
wanted to have that light shining in my freaking face the beast is wore out guys
out what it is woo The Beast inside of me Things this beast really enjoys Football talking NFL But also this beast has tough times and days how about you?? Check out my new Channel were men can talk about how they feel in life and still can be men and beast and to not feel alone and all the other emotions that can come with depression anxiety PTSD bipolar anything MNPolarbeast
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