• From asking to pee in their girlfriend to calling a crush a stupid bitch, the Planet
Dolan crew re-enact some of the best true stories from our subreddit about the dumbest
things we've said when trying to be romantic.
I'm Melissa and today I'll be your narrator.
Number 10 was submitted by Freebird231 Spinalpalm Spinalpalm was going to his friend PrincessProton's
house because he really liked her.
When the moment was right, he tried to ask her out but was really nervous.
He tried to say, "Hey, will you be my girlfriend?"
Instead he said, "Hey, will you pee in my girlfriend?"
He doesn't know why the fuck he said that but afterward she got up and told him to leave.
Spinalpalm tried to explain, "I'm sorry.
I tried to say, 'will you leave my Luke friend,'" and he froze in embarrassment,
then left.
Number 9 was submitted by AaronOfAwesom Pringle When Pringle was 14, he and a girl liked each
other.
He walked straight up to her and asked her out.
He meant to say, "Hello, you are BEAUTIFUL.
I love your brown eyes.
Your style is so great that you must be rich and have maids!
So, do you want to go out?"
Instead, he was so nervous that he said while talking fast, "Hello, you are BEAUTIFUL.
I love your brown eyes.
Your style is so great that you must be rich and have AIDS!
So, do you want to go out?"
She immediately said no.
Pringle tried to explain but she said, "Fuck off, you cunt," He took the rejection pretty
well and moved on… until two years later when she dated his brot her!
Number 8 was submitted by Mars227 Zaraganba (Dolan's Brother)
Once Zaraganba was hanging out with a girl he liked.
He took her to a nearby pizza place when he thought that it was the perfect moment to
confess his feelings.
He said, "You're like food because you taste good."
Not even a second later he realized what he had said, and luckily, she thought it was
really funny… but to this day he's still single.
Number 7 was submitted by LightningStorm2983 Hellbent
When Hellbent was in 5th grade he tried to be romantic to a girl.
They both liked 'Beauty and The Beast', and had their favorite characters.
Her favorite character was Belle, and Hellbent's was Gaston.
He tried to be romantic by saying, "You know, out of all the heads on my wall, yours would
be the prettiest."
The reason he said that was because in the movie, Gaston had the heads of all the animals
he hunted down.
The girl stared at him and asked, "You wanna put my head on your wall?"
It was then that Hellbent realized what he had said, and that she didn't get the joke.
The only thing he thought to do was to run and hide in the corner.
Number 6 was submitted by VoLtEx_1307 Legna In sixth grade, Legna had a HUGE crush on
a girl.
When he was 12 years old, his nervousness and talking without thinking made for one
of the biggest regrets of his life.
He was breathing and sweating heavily, so she asked what was wrong.
He quickly said, "WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT THE FUDGE UP!
I'M THINKING OF A FLIRTY AND CATCHY PICK UP LINE!"
Luckily, she didn't understand a thing he said, so she asked him to repeat it.
Then Legna messed up again, saying, "Uh… nothing!?
You're just so beautiful I melted and wet my pants."
She said, "Holy what!?"
He quickly replied, "HOLY SHIT, YOU STUPID BITCH!"
Legna was referring to himself, but she ran away and cried for the rest of lunchtime.
At the end of afternoon class, he apologized and explained what happened, but he landed
in the 'friend zone' for about 4-5 months.
Number 5 was submitted by KnightSlayer105 Danger Dolan
When Dolan and Gooby first started going out, they were at his place watching a movie and
cuddling on the couch.
It wasn't even a romantic movie, just a good one, and being the witty goofball that he
was, he waited for a certain scene to come up.
When it did, he got up close and kissed her cheek, then whispered, "I'm gonna glaze you
like a doughnut with my Krispy Kreme factory."
Gooby gave him the best 'what the fuck' face he ever saw her do before bursting into
a fit of giggles and laughs.
Dolan just sat there, looking like an idiot, trying to recover by saying, "That honestly
sounded better in my head."
Number 4 was submitted by Infinite_Space_ Andiemations
Andie sat across from her crush, Adam, who had the nickname Woodpecker, in Art class.
She doesn't even remember what they were talking about, but she was trying to be a
bit flirty.
He called her a tree, so she said, "Hey, Woodpecker, I would love for you to eat me."
Once she said that, Andie immediately knew she shouldn't have, and their friend started
laughing his ass off.
She turned red, hiding her face by putting her head down.
Adam stared at her for a minute, wide-eyed, then started laughing.
Number 3 was submitted by Foxcheetah Robo Once when Robo was on the bus, she ended up
encountering a guy she had a crush on, sitting just across the row.
That was the day she had decided to finally confess, so she decided to begin the conversation
building up to the big confession.
Trying to start off with humor, she searched the deepest recesses of her mind for a funny
joke.
Finally, in a sudden stroke of genius, Robo triumphantly asked, "On a scale of cooked
noodle to green banana, how hard are you right now?"
And that's how she had her first breakup before she even had a boyfriend.
Number 2 was submitted by xXAngleXx Tolop Tolop had been with Spincess for at least
one year.
He wanted to say, "Is your body from McDonalds because I'm loving it."
Instead, he said, "Is your body from McDonald because it's fat and greasy."
She started laughing because while he was saying that, she knew that most people make
that mistake.
They're still together.
Number 1 – What was the dumbest thing I ever said when trying to be romantic?
Huge thanks for the folks over on our Planet Dolan subreddit for submitting their stories.
We have another question for you: "What's the cringiest thing you've ever experienced?"
Let us know in the reddit page linked below and you might be featured in a future countdown.
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