Sure enough
Definitely boy parts there
Sorry to be crude, but I mean this is a pregnancy update.
Sometimes they venture into the TMI
Hey guys, it's Angel, and welcome back to my channel
Today, we are going to do my 29 week update,
and we're going to talk about how I'm feeling about the gender
("Payday" intro)
Alright guys, I am a 29 weeks
I'll probably be closer to 30 weeks by the time you see this video
because that's usual... it's just who I am in person
(Laughs)
Anyway, so I am in the third trimester...
officially... for a while now...
And things are still going pretty well
So far, I have gained about 4 or 5 pounds
total, I haven't gained any since the last-
Or actually? I think I gained one pound since the last update
But I haven't gained any in about 3 or 4 weeks
I had the growth scan at 28 weeks and everything was
Perfect! The placenta looked perfect,
the fluid levels were perfect,
the cord insertion and cord blood flow,
and all of that was perfect,
his growth was totally normal and average
He's still around the 70th percentile,
so he's a little bit on the bigger side,
BUT... I make big babies,
So I'm not surprised by that,
but he's still within the realm of average and normal at that size
So he's not growing too much yet,
Which is good
Because that is definitely a risk with gestational diabetes
everything about the ultrasound was within average or normal range,
so it went very very well, and she printed out a couple of cute pictures of his little face
Which I'll show you right here.
Ah! His little face....
He looks so much like Cal
He actually looks like a really good cross between the two of them,
and what they looked like in their ultrasounds,
So I'm really excited to see what his face looks like when he's born
so speaking of HE,
obviously, it's a boy!
If you haven't seen our gender reveal video,
I know I just spoiled it for you,
but I'll put it in the iCard, and the description,
So you can go and watch that
I think it turned out really cute
I had this vision of how I was gonna do it since I found out I was pregnant
I really love how it turned out, the kids really love how it turned out
Anyway, go ahead and watch that if you haven't already,
because it's-I think you'll enjoy it.
It's not very long
But anyway, yes! He is a boy!
And so I know people are probably wondering how I feel about that
Am I disappointed by that or not?
I think it was just very surreal for me
because I've never found out like that before
The first two, I found out in the ultrasound room
so it was really a different experience
to find out as a surprise along with everybody
and, um
I was just- I did not have any idea if he was a boy or girl
So it was just really surprising
So it was just very surreal for me, for awhile
For it to like, really sink in
and especially since I didn't see with my own two eyes
I have a pretty good eye for ultrasounds, and I can tell
between boys and girls usually
and so for me,
With the first two, I could see it right there with my own two eyes,
so I totally believed them
And it just made it a lot more real
And this time I didn't see it in the ultrasound
and she didn't print out a picture and put in in the envelope, either
So it just felt really weird, cuz I- you know-didn't see it myself
So it felt weird for that to sink in
and just really, I just was really surprised
I don't know. I didn't think he was a girl, but I also didn't expect him to be a boy
I was definitely not disappointed
um, I don't...
really feel totally disappointed now, either...
now that is has sunk in more
And I have since seen it for myself
when I had my growth scan last week,
I asked her, "he's the boy, right?"
and she showed me, and sure enough!
Definitely boy parts there!
That is without question.
It's really...uh...
..bittersweet for me, though.. um
Caledon definitely a wanted a brother so he has been over the moon excited
Cal: I'm super happyyyyyy!!! (everyone laughs)
(People laughing) Kerrigan: yay!!!!
Justin? He was hoping to have another son
So of course, they're both totally happy and not at all disappointed
My daughter really wanted a sister really bad
Luckily in the moment of finding out and much of the time since,
she's still really excited...
(Pop sound)
(Cal laughing excitedly)
Angel: Can you tell??
Although...
Every now and then, she'll say, "I want it to be a girl."
"I want it to be a sister."
I'm like, "Sorry. (Laughs) I can't change that"
It kind of is hard for me to navigate that, with her being disappointed
a little bit sometimes
I think once he's here
and- You know- it's kind of more real and sinks in for her.
I don't think it will be a problem
So that's kind of where I'm at
is the main thing is, I just feel bad for her
because I know she really wanted to sister
and I really wanted to give that to her,
and so just the reality of that's never gonna happen
And I didn't grow up with a sister
and so I you know it's kind of
Its kind of a little bit disappointed that I'm not gonna be able to give my daughter a sister
And really I think I've thought a lot about it. I think what it really comes down to
is since I was totally happy either way,
I didn't really prefer one over the other
That..then that means that no matter what the result was,
that I'd also be a little bit disappointed either way
because I wanted both another son and another daughter,
and I can't have both. I can only have one.
So I have- I'm quite sure I'd probably feel the exact same way
if it was another girl instead
it would just be in reverse, I'd feel
sad about not giving Cal a brother
and not having another son,
So I think that's really what it boils down to
is if I was hard pressed to pick one of the other,
I think I wanted a boy slightly more than a girl?
But it was pretty even and that's why we didn't try to sway at all or anything
We just left it up to chance,
but.. just the finality of knowing
I'm never gonna have another daughter.
It's bittersweet for me, so I'm really happy about another son
I'm really excited about another son.
There's a lot I'm looking forward to with it
And I'm just really excited that he is who he is
he is who we were meant to have
It's what God's plan was for us. It's what's...
Meant to be for our family,
and I'm fully embracing that and I think again
I think a lot of these feelings are tied to just being the last baby
So that's a little bit sad
But I am also looking forward to being done and just having a complete family
and moving on to a new phase in our life
And eventually not having to do pregnancy and birth and babies
(Laughs)
Because they definitely have challenges of their own.
I feel like every phase of life has a challenge but...
I'm looking forward to seeing what happens when you have all big kids,
and, you know, how that's gonna change our life
Not..experiencing gender disappointment per se,
probably more of just mixed feelings about
The last baby more than anything
And I know that I will continue to have these feelings as the pregnancy goes
as the birth happens, as its first year happens,
Every time I have to put away, you know, clothes that he grew out of,
and I'll just be like, "I'll never have another baby that small again"
I'm sure I'm gonna have a lot more of these kind of feelings
now, for the next couple of years, but...
Overall, I'm excited about a son
but I have no idea what to name him!
Oh my gosh! This has been such a challenge
We have mulled over so many names,
and we're just running into the same thing we did with Caledon
Where just none of them sound like "The One"
Even ones that we really like a lot
I just- none of them jump out as "The One"
you know, [with] Kerrigan, we picked her name
So many years before we had her
I was just kind of scared to commit to it once
I knew she was a girl,
because of how we had so much trouble committing for Caledon,
and if someone would have
Pushed us to pick a name for him before he was born,
we would have picked one of the others
like, it would not have been Caledon
And none of those other names we were considering fit him at all
So it kind of worried me like, "But what if she's not really a Kerrigan?"
"What if it doesn't fit her?"
But again, with this one? I have no idea!
None of them sound like his name to me
(Laughs)
So- and I have the added pressure of the possibility that Justin won't be there
And I'm gonna have to like basically pick on my own
Hopefully if he is out at sea
He'll still have a good internet so I can get in touch with him
and so we can decide together
but I just feel like it's just so much pressure because I might have to do it on my own because
because
Caledon and Kerrigan's names are so perfect for them,
and I just- I'm- it's just a lot of pressure to pick a third name
that's perfect for a third child
Ah! It's just so much! um...
So I really hope that I can find the right name for him because it's a lot
It's it's hard sometimes to pick baby names
cuz it's so important, and they're stuck with it their whole life!
So hey, if you have any baby boy names that you really like, go ahead and leave them down in the comments for me
I need all the help I can get any ideas
Please especially names that are more rare and unique because our last name is so common
We do try to avoid very common, traditional names, or very popular names
(sighs) So much pressure!
Speaking of pressure! A new symptom of this past week...
Was I have been having so much pelvic girdle pain
I'm not sure yet if it's SPD, which I think is Symphysis pubic dysfunction, or something like that?
So much pain! Oh my gosh,
It basically feels like someone kicked me in the crotch
Like sorry to be crude, but I mean this is a pregnancy update
Sometimes they venture into the TMI
it really honestly feels like someone kicked me in the crotch to varying degrees
so sometimes It's just a very vague...
Dull achiness? Like maybe someone kicked me a few days ago,
and I'm still a little bit sore...
and sometimes it's pretty sharp and pretty intense,
where it feels like someone maybe just kicked me a few minutes ago,
and sometimes, It's more in like, my sacrum
or like tailbone, where it feels like maybe someone swung a baseball bat at me back there
(laughs)
It's just very uncomfortable. It's hard a lot of times it hurts to even sit
But it especially hurts to stand and walk around so that's made it hard to function for sure
So far it isn't too severe so I can still kind of get by
But I'm hoping it doesn't get a lot worse because I mean he's only two or three pounds right now
so he's gonna grow a lot more,
and I'm kind of worried about how much more it's gonna hurt as he gets bigger
and drops further down into my pelvis
fingers crossed that it still
stays manageable,
and doesn't veer into the very severe category
some people end up like on crutches, and bedres,t and like really, really bad...
and I don't have the time for that. I can't do that
I have to solo parent for like a lot of the rest of this pregnancy!
I'm.. yeah, like Justin's only gonna be here for about... less than 3 weeks
that's left of this pregnancy, [total combined]
and I still have a lot of pregnancy to go
that I'm gonna have to be on my own so I
I really need my body to cooperate as much as possible
So speaking of the gestational diabetes, still going pretty smoothly
I haven't needed to increase my insulin,
my blood glucose is still pretty well controlled
like 99% of the time
so that's good at least
my blood pressure is still behaving so that's good at least
And you know he moves a lot now
um, it's definitely nice to not have to worry about him as much anymore because the first trimester was
soooo... hard.
we really thought that he was....
..that we were gonna lose him
Actually, you know I.. (sighs)
I don't really want to get into that today
(Laughs)
Especially this is already getting kind of long
So I think I'm gonna make that in a different video
for now I kind of want this one to be a little bit more on the positive side cuz
That was a very very stressful and emotional and hard
Time for us and it was a huge
reason why we switched to
TRICARE Standard and switched to new doctor
and I kind of want to go more into depth with that decision, too
So I think the next video I'll talk more about that
I also plan to make a video a little bit more in depth about gestational diabetes
how I was diagnosed and why I was tested so early and
How- what it's like to live with it
because I know I had friends who had it
But I didn't really have any idea what it was like until I was here
like I've learned a lot about it
And I think that it would be beneficial to share the information I've found,
because I feel like there's a lot of people even who have it who don't really understand it very much
And that's because doctors don't even really understand it very much
There's still a lot of unknowns about it, and there's not really set
protocols and guidelines
Between doctors they have different
Ways that they do things different, you know ways that they manage it can vary a lot
because there isn't really anything that's real set yet.
They're still all kind of trying to
figure it out as they go and
That's really daunting for sure there's not as much well-established
evidence-based care
For gestational diabetes as there is for other aspects of pregnancy
you know I'm definitely one to do a lot of research
and to share information when I learn a lot about something
because I appreciate it when people share information with me
about things I want to learn about so it's kind of
one of the things I love about YouTube
and why I do what I do is I like to give back and share knowledge that I have
So I definitely want to make a video all about all the stuff that I've learned and just kind of
Showing what it's like to live with it
It definitely sucks, but it also doesn't suck as much as I thought it would, so hopefully that gives people some hope
(Laughs)
But yeah, we're we're doing okay so far so good
The midwife's mantra has been its normal til it's not
And so that's kind of what I'm going off of
is there's just so many unknowns and so many things that can go wrong
Over the next few weeks and instead of panicking about that
and stressing about that, I just want to...
(deep breath)
Keep on going as if it's normal until it's not
and so I'm going to take good care of myself, as best as I can,
and kind of hope that this is going to be as normal of a pregnancy
as possible, even in spite of being high-risk,
Until there's any- until things happen that make it not normal
But for now it's pretty normal since the blood sugar is well controlled,
everything else is fine. So nothing is wrong right now
we just have to
monitor very closely and just be very
intentional about staying healthy
So I have to you know be very strict with my diet
and you know taking medicines and supplements and tinctures and things
To try to manage this so so far so good.
I'm hoping it can continue to go this smoothly
Till the end.. I really hope it doesn't get really stressful at the end
like it did the last two times with the Hypertension,
I'm hoping to avoid that this time, so fingers crossed!
but for now we are healthy, we are good,
We are growing well,
and speaking of that, let's go ahead and do that bumpshot
So again, I am not going to show you my bare belly,
just a comfort level... just kind of a boundary that I want to keep with this pregnancy,
I've noticed that YouTube is kind of iffy about women showing their bare pregnant bellies for some reason
to avoid any potential issues with YouTube,
and also to try to stave off creepers (laughs)
I just don't feel comfortable showing it,
but you can still see pretty well with this shirt
How things are coming along and how my belly is growing
so there you have it. That's my 29 week bumpdate!
Aaaand... my thoughts and feelings about the gender, and the last baby
Again, please tell me baby boy name ideas, I really need them!
That was quite a long update, so I appreciate you for sticking with me
Hit that subscribe button if you haven't already, so you don't
Miss out on any of those future videos that I talked about
Thanks so much for watching!
I appreciate each and every one of you
Bye
("Payday" song plays and concludes)
No comments:
Post a Comment