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Hi Beautiful angels, happy motivation on Monday and welcome back to our journey south love
So if you're new here on this channel
Consider subscribing because I'm sharing content that is gonna help you love every claim your true self
So before we start this interview, I want to ask you. How is your license? All right, living a healthy and balanced
lifestyle, the reason I'm asking is I am actually
interviewing today my dear friend Renee Louise
She's a self-love mentoring coach that helps many people all around the world get a more healthier
happy
Balanced lifestyle and I asked her to jump in very quick to share her journey
what anxiety depression how she was dealing with it how she gained her confidence to help others and why it is so
important
To do what she's offering people to do. So without further ado welcome Renee
Thank you so much for being here. And can you share us a little bit more about your experience?
with social anxiety
depression and how it feels how
You started the journey. I
Don't think I will waive her anxiety
I don't really struggle with depression per se but
When my anxiety got really bad, I got what I would call secondhand depression
So because I was struggling with it so much
And I felt like it was stopping me from doing things and my self-doubt and bringing my confidence down
then I would get upset afterwards but
We think that in depression a lot of the time they are
Correlated so all the time people have boys
Sometimes people have one or the other and then sometimes one causes the other
So you could be depressed and because you're so depressed and you're staying in home all the time
You get air see and it makes you anxious or vice-versa
you have anxiety and because you you feel like you're
Limited to doing things and that your you have such low confidence that that can make you feel depressed, too
But doesn't necessarily mean you have depression
so with that, I think that
What I'm finding is it was really really amazing is back then probably
From about the age of around the early twenties and
what I noticed is there was this trend and
More and more people coming in and speaking about different things like this
and I think that that it's very important because it inspired other people to talk up as well and then like oh
you know meet me - like I'm not alone and I think that there was a shift there was a massive shift and
Shift a couple of years ago, especially with celebrities and things as well. I think that makes package capable confidence
Oh, wow, like look at her or look at him
But but you know, there is celebrity like they put so much pressure
Like they they do movies and they're famous and it's sort of that mean that they can't be subjected to something like that
So I think that that that's been a massive turning point
and I also think that
That
It is unraveling more and more and people are feeling more
Comfortable to come out. Yes that people are feeling more and more
More comfortable with coming now compared to what they used to be and so for me my
Anxiety didn't really peak until
Probably my early 20s. So when I was studying I was working two jobs. I just broke up with my partner
Of six years, so I had a lot of stuff going on and prior to this
I was always a little bit of a nervous kid. I had some confidence issues, but I I never actually
Had a full-blown anxiety, like I was never diagnosed with anxiety, and it was actually it was quite crippling. So
when
When I first started going through this I had no idea what was going on like no I and you know, obviously
there's a lots of different symptoms for anxiety and
It's not the same for everybody some people have specific anxiety about
you know public social settings or
You know fear of flying or and then some people just have general anybody where they just get anybody about
multiple different
And everyone systems can range a lot as well so
We the thing that with anxiety is yes, you know it is it is a mental
A mental condition but there are so many physical symptoms and I think that's what makes it so scary as well
because
you don't know what the hell's going on, especially if you if
You kind of things getting dormant and just
Come out over a certain period of time through stress or something like that
So I was getting heart palpitations
I felt like a clean breathe properly
I
Had tingling in my arm like tingling sensation
Sometimes I'd feel that nauseous but I felt like I couldn't eat and that I need to throw up. It was that bad
I would shake it a
lost train of thought so
At that point of talk, but it was really really bad and I was working
I just I couldn't remember even the simplest of things like the simplest tasks like had been working there for four years and
Like what is going on with me like and you literally in those moments, especially?
Especially if you have an anxiety
Have like your pre position to have anxiety actual attacks
As well as limiting cytokine as follows so much that it actually becomes like a full-on attack
and
in those moments like you literally think that you're gonna lose control if you literally think that you're going crazy and like
Especially if you before like diagnosis like you have no idea what's going on
you can get a really think that you are insane and that
Nobody else is like you
Like
Yeah
When when did you find out? When when did you find out that what you have? How did you?
so it wasn't really until
When like I was really really quickly
But also my cell using everything like that and because I started getting attacks and I started
Feeling like I couldn't breathe
And like something was wrong with my heart
And then I went to the doctors and I said like this is what's happening. Like I don't understand what's going on
Like I feel like I'm like going crazy like I don't like it was
Was really really hard
and
He said to me you've had you're having anxiety attacks
you have you're having anybody and he put me on a mental health care plan, and he
It was a session he got me hooked in with a psychologist and that's where it all started
Assess for you, how was that process for you? Very difficult very difficult
Especially I think which a lot of people will be able to relate the labeling
So when you get told that you have something you feel different you feel weird you feel
Not normal, you feel everyone's gonna judge you
You know
I would never judge anyone anyone could tell me somethings like that and I would have never touched it but because it was me
everyone was gonna judge me right like
I'd lose my friends like all of these like horrible horrible thought
So that's where that's really wearing. Those thought hasn't been very hard to come to terms with
Luckily for me. I
Like my mom had experienced it so she could kind of relate to what I was going through
Not that it takes it away and I
Opened up to one of my closest friends at the time
I actually had a moment of vulnerability and I just I felt so alone not being able to anyone else really about it
That I opened up to one of my closest friends and she's like me too
Me too
so that that moment there like
was so powerful and so much to me because I knew that I had someone like
her like my mom like I had a good friend that I could talk to about it and she's like I get it I get
It like you were you know going crazy
like I get it and
Yeah, so that was that was really
Really really helpful to me to the other it's not to my friend about it and from then on there
I
Continued on with my third therapy sessions. I was given different practices and tools to be able to deal with it. But uh
I
also
Kind of like
Into study so I had to focus around something as well. I think that all those been too busy
Can it be bad if you don't make time to yourself, but it's also good to be able to
To have something to focus on whether it be for a hot like a hobby
Whether it be like a project whether it be work, would it be study like some people I know
Struggle with it so bad that they can't work. They some people can't even leave their own homes. You'd get that bad
And I mean not just you know, all today's really bad day. I can't leave my home
I mean, like I know people that just can't leave their home
Sorry, very, um
It's very very difficult and yeah like I I think that even though
People are becoming like becoming more and more out of that
I don't think people realize the extent that it can affect someone so I can get the Macungie hue
Especially if you years ago, like I'll suck it up like eat some concrete like, you know
stop being a pussy like you could goodbye because guys struggle to you and there's even more stigma with guys right they meant to be
strong and they meant to be masculine like
No bullshit, I call bullshit. They're still human
That's still capable of human things. Like if someone was struggling we can't thought we wouldn't tell them to suck it up
It's still it's do a health condition. I
can imagine for me as well going through depression and all that stuff people always said just shake it off like
To sleep and shake it off
It's something people don't understand they will never do so you went to therapy had
Friends that friend that can help you wait
When did you start feeling that the experience that you're going through?
That you wanted to share that with other people when I started realizing that
Like oh I got to a point where I became comfortable enough in myself
And I guess I could be it the amount of people that the more people that I opened up to
I realized the more people had it but
They involuntarily tell you and to you opened up about at first
and then it got to the point where and this might sound a bit funny, but people
People that struggle with it will know sometimes you can just tell you can just tell in someone with that
I'm even saying anything you just you just know you just know and you go
Hey you. Alright and you start a conversation and I think
the more that I spoke about
Like the more I realized wow, this is such a huge issue
like this is really really big like
More people need to talk about this more people need help more people need to know that it's okay
To go and seek help and to talk to other people
So that's when I kind of just you know, start opening up about it and I started
So speaking to other people about it
I started being honest with how I was feeling and not just putting on a smart pretending. Everything was okay
although I am a very positive person by nature even though I have had these struggles like
Just because you're a really positive doesn't mean you can't have a bad day. It just means that you try to put
A good perspective on a bad day
all right today was bad, but I got to watch my favorite show tonight like you it's really I think
trying to find those little moments and appreciate yourself or
The little wins that you've had in your day
whether it be for people that can't leave home whether it be going out and driving down to the corner and getting a coffee to
Them like it might sound silly but someone else it's a little whim
I think it's really important to be able to acknowledge that and to appreciate that as well and to be able to hold ourselves and
to
Chicken for a feels like we would a child if it was happened like if a child were sick
You would care for them
You would bring them their favorite chocolate like you've ruined their favorite movie like we need to do that for us as well
I think it's really really important
especially gratitude like
Gratitude has changed my life
It really has and that that has only really happened in probably like the last year I discovered gratitude. And at first I was like
Vicious killer you like just writing down this on a piece of paper. What's it going to do? But it's amazing. It really is
yeah do this number one, I think because when we
grateful for the things we have
it's neat to see the positive parts and
Focus on the negative so really that's a good one. Yeah and
how did I felt when it started to roll when you started to mentor and coach people and
Why?
not coaching them in like
The way people think they will like talking about negative feelings and overcoming it. Why did you choose?
the healthy lifestyle to change them as well like because you're helping that was a big part of
It was a big part of my recovery, I
Mean you never feel like you're never fully cured Asajj
It is something that sticks with you
Some people get to a point where it's
It affects them that little because of good coping mechanisms that kind of background noise
Whereas some people do continue to struggle. Um
So I think it was a big part of my recovery and and whilst I'm still on that journey
and I will openly admit I still have really bad days and I'm still I'm still
I'm still very much been journeying continuing but just because I'm not
the best I can be it doesn't mean that I still can't help other people and I think that's also really important for coaches as
well, there's a lot of them go into it because they've had their own struggles and they become passionate about it, right but
They have this feeling that oh, like I'm a fraud like I can't help people with this if I'm still struggling with it
No, you can't there's nothing to stop you because you're still gonna have bad days. You still you're still learning?
you're still on your own journey, but it doesn't mean that you can't help other people with things that have helped you and
I think the
You know, sometimes we're so good at giving advice
We don't take the advice for ourselves, but it doesn't mean that we can't help someone else at the same time as well
The active lifestyle and and the nutrition and the mindset
that has has really really helped me and there's a lot to be said to exercise like
Endorphins are
Amazing. They're so good to let out adrenaline if you struggle with anxiety
they're so good to
to ramp up your
Your energy and motivation if you struggle with depression and whilst
I do appreciate it and be so hard for people to get there
Once you're there and you have a workout, I've never ever heard anyone say that they feel worse after a workout
Yeah that endure
Especially first thing in the morning is amazing. It sets your started like that's your day off
I kind of really good low and it does like it lets that that nervous energy out and
Yeah, it's really powerful and same with the foods that we eat life
is
There's not enough knowledge about it I think yet
um, but it's definitely
loitering out there about the mind and gut
Connection like I think people are slowly. So here a little bit more about it until you properly do your own research
You can't appreciate
how much one can affect the other like um
You know, for example bananas like they have they have tryptophan in it
Which helps you serotonin levels? Like they literally nature's antidepressants like they help you
The same is milk, like going to sleep. It's got tryptophan in it that helps you relax you as well
So there's all these
Vitamins and properties include but we're not utilized enough and whilst by any means like it is a hundred percent. Okay to take medication
Don't ever think that it's not all that I'm saying, it's not I just think people need to try
Other means first, don't let it be just yet. Okay, this is a business. This is the Cure
This is the one or even what if you are on medication you still need to
You still need to invest in yourself and look after yourself. You need to give our bodies like ours
We need to fuel them with good stuff to perform. Well
yeah, so I think
That's definitely been a good help for me too in same with like, you know, processed food and sugars
Like we don't realize how those can affect our bodies and it's again until you do more research on it
You don't realize like some of the chemicals that are in them create anxiety
They create depression
Sugar you have a massive hit and then you crash
so
Yeah, definitely something I learned less the beginning of this year and then I started indeed
is that when you start realizing these things because for me it was like I don't get
gained weight that fast so for me eating sugar, in fact things doesn't matter I thought because oh
yeah, so you think well, I don't have to worry about that because I'm not gonna get that big and then you hearing oh
we get taught that like it's about like our physical body is right, but it
you can internally fat without being fat on the outside -
Exactly and then hearing what kind of fleece do to you and especially for me with a depression
I was like I'm addicted to sugar. I will not lie. I
Lowered it down afterwards after I got that seminar. I stopped I did it whole detox
I went healthy because I was like, this is the reason why it comes back
So heavily then if I feed myself only with sugar and fat
So I started the diets
It comes a little bit back to your below but it's definitely something that I think
That's so good that you share it is that the reason why healthy lifestyle and healthy food is not because of our body
it's about our mind and soul and everything and our feelings how
Yeah, I have literally seen
People who are skinny and they hop on the body scan
So it's um, like Dexter scan or something like that and actually measures your internal fat
So your visit very feel fat and their fat even though they've been they've been skinny
they seem maybe like a size 810 their fat is worse than a sumo wrestler not even kidding like
Go people go and do your research now like you can be skinny on the outside
It doesn't mean any healthy on the inside and if you've got a lot of internal fat you couldn't pressure on your organs
so so dangerous and that's not to say that you can't have a chocolate or you can't have ice cream or it's about
Balance, but it's about generally feeding our body
It's about generally feeding our body on on the average of with good food
So when people come to you to be coached
What is the process you go through it? And what's the main process that you guide them through to get to do it?
Well because it pretty much depends on
What they're coming to me for?
so because
Because I do a lot of self-love work a lot of people come to me with low confidence or
You know, they're wanting to lose weight. They're the main ones that I generally get and surprisingly enough. Most of my clientele are male
And I'm not saying but again
like I'm
not saying that that men can't do any of these things or and I'm such a huge person for
Advocating men's mental health as well, but it just surprised me. Like it genuinely surprised me because out and about
They wouldn't usually come to you with stuff like that but because they feel safe online my main clientele are men
So
yeah, it really really surprised me but I'm really happy that they were able to have the confidence to be able come to me and
Yeah, it really depends on what the total struggling is whether it's myself
Whether it's weight, whether it might be um, you know
Relationship problems or it might be
You know, they have trouble with fitting goals and following through and they need that accountability
I think the best thing about having approach is you have that accountability and some people just need someone checking in on them
Hey, have you done it?
Hi, like, you know if they need someone to answer to you because they can't prioritize their own needs. Will they put them to thought?
So that seems like a very busy guy
so because you're doing this full-time and then you have here your home and
All the things that you do have to do at home. How do you keep yourself?
Yourself balanced. What's your day-to-day?
Routine to keep yourself not getting anxious
calm and balanced
But I'm very organized I think
Organization if you live quite a very busy lifestyle, I think organization is very very important
and
You know
It's something as simple as prepping your meals on a Sunday and freezing them can save you so much time like yes
It takes a couple of hours out of your sunday, but it saves you so much time for the Western week
you can work you can go to training you can come home and then you can just relax and unwind
And I think the biggest thing for people with busy lifestyles is shutting that phone off at you know
9:00 9:30 10 o'clock at night shut that phone off
and
Start to wind down and get your body ready for bed and have a shower and have a glass of milk or tea
Brush your teeth, like let your body know that it's time to relax read a book if you want to read watch TV
It's fine. Try not to do it in your room
And because you want your body to know that okay what I'm going in my room going to bed
It's time to sleep
And I think that's one of the biggest things people are struggling with at the moment
And I'm actually fine-tuning my my nighttime routine at the moment to involve a little bit more
self-care
but I think that that's a huge thing for busy people is really trying to to have that hour or so for yourself to
You know
Maybe write down everything that happened in the day or things that you need to do tomorrow so that they're out of your head
Have a nice relaxing bath if it's been a really stressful day
Read your favorite book
Meditate is those guided meditations out there. There's meditations on YouTube
It doesn't have to be just closing eyes and breathing in and out
so I think that's really important to me because our society is so
So addicted to technology
And I know this is funny saying that I am saying this because we're actually on technology
but it's amazing for something but I think people they just don't know when to switch off and they feel like they have to
Continuously require straight away as well
I take time out for you even in your days
Especially if you work online or from home like set is that boundaries that clear boundaries?
Alright, so I wake up. I'm not even going to touch my phone for the first hour
I do not touch my phone in the morning for the first hour. It's me time
So I write I do my gratitude. I have a cup of tea. I have my breakfast and then I go
All right from this time to this time. I'm gonna focus on work stuff. You don't have to reply every half an hour
You don't have to pick
Up and reply back to every text message or every message on messenger or Instagram or snapchat like there's so many things that are happening
That we're constantly
We're constantly on the go. We're not having any downtime
So I think that that setting strict boundaries is really really little even you know
If you can have a phone that separate just for work as well. I think that they they all really hope so
When people hear it is they think okay if I implement this and keep continuing doing that?
I will have a balanced life and it will no bad days
But they are so when you have a little bit anxiety, what is your reaction? How do you deal with that?
And how are you aware when you have it?
Yeah
The biggest thing that I will notice is breath
Our breaths are sorry powerful
Especially to anyone that struggles with anxiety. So it resets your nervous system
so whenever you feel like you're on this little hamster wheel and you're going round and round around and you haven't had you had a
really really busy day
you actually even haven't had time for a break because some people don't even get breaks at work because they're that busy and like I
Mean it's not legal, but it happens
Especially if they work for themselves, they don't create those boundaries
so if you just find there's just
You've been so busy all day and you haven't been able to help it's been out of your control
Just take a minute to step back and focus on your breath focus on your breathing
It's the biggest tool that we have to reset our nervous system. It's so powerful
and
a
lot of people do struggle with meditation
Especially at the beginning but guided meditations are amazing
If you've never done something like that before and honestly our breath is very very powerful and it don't it helps it
Literally sends messages to our brain and helps that out reset our nervous system
So it's a biginsight if I can use for everybody is if you have a real overwhelming day
Focus on your breath or implement some daily meditation first thing in the morning or at night time before you go to bed
Whatever you find work for you
Okay, thank you for sharing that just one last question, um
For someone that is in his face, if you used to be that aren't going through feelings and not sure what they go through
having ultimate goal often happiest lifestyle
Knowing your journey now. What is your biggest advice for them to get out of that zone and create?
their life so
Reach out
Don't be afraid to reach that reach out and get help whether it be
whether it be reaching out even your mommy or dad or reach out your best friend or your father just
start a conversation with someone it is so important and if you know
If you feel like you're too nervous to go to therapy
Like if you re chatting someone I'm sure your friend
Mommy or sister or your brother or someone who come with you and help you hit those first few sessions, which can be quite daunting
It's the biggest place I can say is reach out get the help. Come on and help
Help you get back on track and it's okay. It doesn't mean that you're weak. It doesn't mean that you that you've failed
It's the strongest thing you can do is asking for help because it's scary and it's not easy
But I promise you it will be worth it
Thank you about reaching out. So if they feel like they want to reach out to you right now
Where can they find you and so on Instagram? I'm self
Loving power or connect with me on Facebook Renae Louise. Send me a message
I'd be happy to help out but it's my passion and I honestly want to help as many people as I can
That is my that is my why?
Amazing. Thank you so much. I will do that with all that information in the comments section below
One more time. Thank you for being here with me today and share journey and
You know
someone even
If they don't reach out to me if they reached out to someone else like I'm more than happy to help you
I'd love to help you or even if you don't want help for me
But you just want to send me a message and connect I'd love that too
You like it doesn't mean that you have to be coached by me
I'd love for you to reach out and connect, but I hope I really hope that this has helped at least one person that
I have it that even if I can have helped at least one person from this then
That's exactly my point of these videos because it's just we need to share our journeys and we need to share that we all have
The strength and the power to go through this
Absolutely, absolutely
And together we're stronger together
We definitely strong it together. It's connections and sharing and empowering each other. Absolutely
Thank you. Bye guys
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