Flowers
It will be nicer right away
Who's on the agenda today?
No one
No one?
The forest festival, right?
Today, I wanted to talk to you, Mariusz
With you, Mariusz?
Why are you surprised?
You are the Minister of the Interior
And maybe with your successor...
What...
my successor?
Who said: successor?
You said, sir...
Listen with your ear and not your belly. Substitute!
The one from the police, who
had the confetti cut
With him?
I will have a few questions for you
For us?
A few questions? What questions?
Why are you hugging that wall like a rat?
I call you here, to the middle
On the carpet...
The Chairman's Ear
O!
That's us
On a yacht
on the Szczecin Lagoon
That's him?
Mother... I didn't recognize him. All in black
Like on a black protest, right?
What a strapping young man
Real Alain Delon
And God created man...
And what women were eyeing him up! I'm telling you!
Not some old, square boxes, but young girls!
OK, Ms Basia, please keep an eye on that for me
That's, you know
a souvenir
Tell me Mariusz
all about that storm
in Pomerania
which
destroyed so much forest
that even our
court swashbuckler looks
like a dwarf now?...
Hallo, hallo! May I?
Come in, Joachim! Come!
Not Joachim, not Joachim, but
Joachim Holiday Tour!
I came to recollect our last vacation
Hello! - Hello
It was great, wasn't it?
Crickey, we climbed Koziarz
It was raining
Well, it rained, yes
Today is also raining, so what? It will stop eventually
The sun will come out, you will see, it will shine once more
You will want to go on vacation again
and that's why we need to discuss it as soon as possible. Now
Joachim, you know that I
can't plan in advance
Who can't?
What are you talking ab...? Mr Chairman can't?
The Chairman?
Do you hear that? The Chairman can't!
Mariusz, darn, hold me back
But it's next year
Who knows what will happen next year? Maybe I won't be here?
Come on, you must be joking!
You'll catch a cold on my funeral
I hope you won't catch a cold - it's just a saying
Right! Okay, but jokes aside. Listen
Holidays are coming and we really need to come up with something specific
My suggestion is:
Szczecin Lagoon
fishing
Just like this year
But... you know I don't know how to fish, Jo-Jo...
Oh, come on! Don't you "I don't know", "I don't know" me.
I'll take care of everything for you. I'll pick out such a fat juicy worm from the ground
one could put on a frying pan, roll in four and by oneself, like drumsticks, you know...
I'll put it on your hook, you know and cast your fishing rod
and you will just sit and watch
And when, you know, get a bite, you'll shout: Joachim!
I'll come running and take it out
Do you remember, darn it, what a pike a caught last year?
But again on the Lagoon...?
What 'again'? What 'again'?
When something is cool, why change it?
We started in Janow and how did it end?
...afternoon. - Good afternoon.
Is minister Mariusz in there?
Yes. Mr Joachim as well.
What's going on?
4 blue, 2 green, 2 red...
No! 2 green, 2 red...
What are you doing? Do you want to commit suicide here?
Do you have any water to wash it down?
Oh God...
For a bit of peace
You mean eternal
Yes
Kruszyniany
Tatar minority
Four nights with breakfast
Tatar food! Ho!
Yum-yum!
Lakes, forests...
mushrooms... historic mosque
Yeah...
They'll take a picture with you with those Muslims and trouble is ready
Very well!
They will say you are true friends with real Muslims
Two:
Agritourism
Near Liwiec
Natura 2000
Rafting
We'll take a two-seater. I'll act as a motor
You'll seat at the front and admire, you know, the views and birds...
A historic castle
Only the tower left, you know...
And the church in Wegrowo
Fridge
magnets
And breakfast we'll make
from the food of the... landlord
Right... from the feed
You'll eat hay and straw
I said food! From what the host will produce himself
Three:
Subcarpathian
Gorlice
Beskid Niski - it fits you well
Lemkivshchyna... hiking...
no people...
Guest house Monika. Well, no food, but you know....
we'll buy food in a shop and prepare, you know, ourselves
cheaper that way
Caves
Cergowa - 716 m a.s.l.
And we can see the lynx
But we need to hurry as that...
The Minister of the Environment is also going there, so you know what can happen to that lynx...
Fresh fish. You'll hike in the mountains, lose your belly
So, what do you choose?
I don't know
Everything sounds attractive
Listen, first, I'd go to Subcarpathian, what do you say to that?
In case anything happens, we'll withdraw, just like we did with the fuel charge, right?
I've got to run. See you! - See you.
Bye, Mariusz!
Bye
Free?
Free
Why, you think it's a toilet?
One gets out the other gets in?
No, I meat if I could come in...
You can come in
So?
Is he nice today?
Brother...
You didn't choose well, let me tell you...
It's hell in there
He's completely gone haywire
He's hammering Mariusz like
the worst sadist. I hardly escaped with my own life. - Jesus Christ...
And how he curses, I tell you!
He swears like a sailor
Are you mad?
You frighten him and don't you see he's barely alive?
Don't listen to him!
He's all trembling! He might kick the bucket
Have you peed?
I reckon...
this Jo-Jo
made a fool of himself because of that cape, right?
Why?
It was so blindingly bright
You'd be a perfect target for a sniper
Even Bronek would take you down with one bullet
Take me down from where?
Shoot you dead
That would be the yo-yo effect then
When it rains you need to take with you that Janusz from Solidarity
he would carry an umbrella for you
Fridge magnets - great
on the fridge
My whole fridge
is covered with magnets
When someone gives me, for example, magnets from Borneo or...
wherever they got it from, I say: no!
I stick only those from places I've been to
The rest is unimportant
The state
reacted as it should
Government officials and security service were sent immediately
even when we didn't know any help would be needed
I have Jacek, to tell me everything is great. I have you, to tell me the truth
I'm telling the truth
I'm reading the papers and it doesn't look good
Those are their newspapers. They aren't worth reading...
I'm talking about ours
And in our papers, those who always write well about us, write well
and those who write sometimes well and sometimes bad
write bad
It happened... at the wrong moment
that storm, because
it was the beginning of the long weekend
there were planes, marches, tanks, everyone admired our
powerful, strong, resilient, organized country...
And in reality, nothing changed
Still
we have our theoretical, cardboard state, which operates relatively well on workdays
until 4 p.m., on Fridays 3 p.m.
during weekends only shops are open. - And this will change soon
Shops, churches and petrol stations
- on these three pillars
we base
our weekend existence
All that we inhire...
All that we inhire... - Why are you so nervous today?
I'm not
"Inherited". - Yes
That's how you say it. - That's right.
Easy word. There you go
Right... So we did it after eight years
Or rather twenty eight
Except for our 2 years. Or three? Three, because...
Mr Jan and the night shift
The army
arrived there after a few days
because the governor said it is not
responsible for sweeping leaves or cleaning up the branches
And there were
tents crushed by trees
And how should he know? He was a councilman before. He doesn't know anything
How come?
From councilor to voivode? How was this promotion possible?
Kangaroo promotion
They did it as well
Well, there was a temporary apnea, but everything fine now. Really. Mrs Beata went there too
in wellingtons and then I went too
I talked with these firefighters. Poor people. I comforted them
and... well, but...
think, sir
it is unbelievable that such solid trees...
broke
like small matchsticks
Antoni went there wearing a suit, and immediately got stuck in the mud
Only then did I realize the scope of this tragedy
Question
While we're cleaning up Rydel
off the trees, should we clan
those not decommunized streets as well?
Or should we wait with cleaning until after they are decommunized?
Because then...
Man! People are still living there
Think for a while
Really,
Ludwik is what he is, but
it's true what he said about you. - What did he say?
That sometimes you are
a walking deficit
of intelligence
What deficit? I ask how it is, because I just want to know, right?
For example - the European Union
When we cut down a bit of Bialowieza Forest, they were screaming loud, and now
when the Tuchola Forest is destroyed - silence
Silence...
You were born in September
right?
Get in already!
You've lived long enough
You've gone far
Very far
Too far, in my opinion
You were on the tenth floor and you were watching those little people, didn't you?
And now, back to the basement and you will be one of those people
Just get in
In God's name, what a shame
...afternoon...
Good afternoon
Come in. Come in. You're welcome here
Why are you laughing, sir?
I just remembered. Mariusz showed me
on those Internets
how this folk band
performed before you.
I wish you saw your face!
Yes
That was really funny
Funny...
And when they
dropped the confetti on you from the helicopter...
Is it true that the policemen cut it out all night?
Yes...
Maybe...
I don't know...
"I don't know"!
They welcomed you, like Marilyn Monroe
in Vietnam! Like our blonde
so much mojo that it's painful to watch
Happy birthday, Mr Chairman...
OK. Enough joking
Are you sure you have the police force under control?
Because there are complaints on you
That you don't control it
that at police stations it's more dangerous now than in the streets
In Wroclaw they beat up a young man so hard, that
Well...
that happens, sometimes
But...
...liceman, that... who... po.. bad...
Once again please
One bad policeman does not mean that the whole force is bad
Oh, yes, yes! Recently
in Gizycko
a police officer saved a drowning child
True
That's possible, but
one good policeman does not mean, that the whole force is good
And this is
your resignation
Right...
He doesn't complain, he doesn't make a fuss
And the best - I tell him: boss
if you want to pee now is the time, because the next one will be in the shelter
Before you know it I see him disappear behind trees. Gone!
He went away just like that, his cape in his teeth and doing what he has to
He's the man!
And how do you wash your hands afterwards?
Well, that's a real problem!
The grass was wet so he wiped them off
With the grass?
Sure!
Please don't fire me...
And why the investigation
started after a year, only when some journalist inspected it?
The investigation was ongoing, but there was no evidence
There was a film with a stun gun
It's not the job of the police to watch films
but to ensure the safety of Poles
You fire only him, sir, right?
Right
I mean...
not I. This is
the independent decision of the Prime Minister
I just have to tell her about it
We could not find the chief commander...
And when we finally found him he made a fool of himself
Now there is a new one and he has to organize everything somehow
We're up to our ears with work. Very busy
My priority is your safety at Krakowskie Przedmiescie street
Speaking of
how many policemen is assigned there?
I don't know...
more than two thousand
And the festival... of this guy in yellow pants?
I don't know... less than that
What are you pawing there?
So, what is the cost
of a monthly mourning?
It's better if you don't know. I beg you, sir, don't fire me!
It's better if the people don't know, because when they find out...
I have an idea how to finance it. If anyone blocks the road or...
or lies down, let them pay! And it will be funded!
Thanks to my work, for example, there are no terrorist attacks in Poland
Our work! My work most of all!
There were none in the past as well
Yes, but now there are more none than before. I beseech you, don't fire me!
Come of it...
We need
a scapegoat
But why me?
An accidental victim. A passerby
I need to fire somebody from time to time, to show who is in charge here
To shoot in the air so that
everybody drops on the floor
Why me?... - Come on, just take it!
I know!
I know!
Let's go to Suwalki! They have cepelinai dumplings
Do you remember how we used to love them?
Yes!
God, how tasty it was!
Yes, but we need to find a good restaurant to avoid any surprises
I know where there are good cepelinai! I come from Suwalki and I will take you everywhere there!
I know where to get a smoked vendace, straight from the barrel, I...
You're from Suwalki? - I'm from Suwalki, yes...
Do you have eel there? - Eel, yes, I have a little one...
Darn it, but...
I have to fire someone. I've already smelled the blood
So perhaps the one from Infrastructure?
Where is he from? - From Krzeszowice
Krzeszowice?
What do they have there? - The breeding colony of the Geoffroy's bat
What is it? - It's a black bat
Crested
So maybe him?...
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