Hey May, free to chat?
Sure, what's up?
So how are things between you and Tom lately?
Things are steady. Right now Tom is working quite hard
cos Tina is about to start school.
You better be sitting down for this.
I saw a picture of Tom with some other chick
and screenshot to send you.
The second I saw that image,
it was as if someone slapped me in the face.
At first I thought
there must be some kind of misunderstanding.
But after stalking her Facebook page,
it was pretty clear that it wasn't a misunderstanding
All of his declarations of love over time
came flooding into my mind one after the next.
He told me on our wedding day
that he would only love me
He even promised my parents
to take care of me until the day he dies.
How could he do this to me?
I got a grip on myself and thought hard about what to do next.
Should I get in touch with that other woman
or wait to talk to him?
I decided I'd wait to talk to him.
When I had the chance
I asked about the infidelity in a suggestive way,
but that turned into a full-blown argument.
He accused me of not trusting him,
saying he works so hard and cant believe
he has to come home to this nonsense.
Well what about me?!
I also work to share the load and responsibility.
I take care of our daughter Tina,
I look after the house. Whatever I can do I do
because I want our family unit to work.
In the end I decided to get in touch
with the other woman, hoping that she would leave him alone
if she knew he is already married.
But her reply was like another slap in the face.
She said 'I already knew he was married
but I didn't care.
I love him and I make him happy.
I can accept the situation.
You're already his wife,
what more do you want? Just accept it.
Wait. What's going on?!
How can having a fling be considered as ok?
How can having a mistress be totally normal?
I just want to be a part of a family with only one husband and one wife.
Does that make me selfish?!
I really have no clue what to do anymore.
I know my decision will have an impact on our daughter.
I want her to have a loving family
and I don't want to see her lose her father.
I don't want her to be hurt.
But if I stay and put up with it just for our daughter,
she'll have a family where her dad doesn't love her mom,
is that really better for her?
So I texted my husband to say I needed to speak with him
and told him that if he doesn't show up,
I'd take that to be his decision.
After we had our argument yesterday,
he disappeared and didn't come home to sleep.
It's obvious where he spent the night.
Before this, when he would tell me that he was busy
and that he would be out a lot,
I didn't suspect anything.
Because I trusted him, I believed him.
I'm going to sleep over at a friends.
I'm going to a conference. My battery died,
I didn't have signal, blah blah blah.
I sat and waited for him
really not sure whether he would turn up.
But he did. And not just that but he asked me
if things could go back to the way they were.
He said he would respect me as his wife
and take care of me and our daughter.
But then he added that
there may be some days where he goes to see her.
He told me he still loves me and
that it was perfectly normal in this day and age to have many homes.
I couldn't listen to his selfishness a second longer
and told him to shut up.
I made my decision right there and then.
After all, the day we exchanged vows,
I was to be his wife. His only wife.
There was no talk of wife and mistress
or any other arrangement.
Sometime after he left I got a message on Facebook
I opened the message and it said,
"thank you for letting him go"
"He told me so long ago already that he was bored with you
but he only put up with you to not lose face
even though you were such a boring wife."
After I saw her message, I was thinking about what to do next.
But then my husband came back to apologise again.
But this time he told me he would end things with her.
So I told him to call her right there in front of me.
When he did, I heard that other woman crying,
pleading that he can love whoever he wanted
but just don't leave her.
I cut her off and told her: "pull yourself together and grow up!
You'll still have so many opportunities to meet someone.
Why are you so hung up on a guy who is already married?!"
Her reply left me speechless.
She said "I'm ok with it."
So I told her
"it doesn't matter what you think because but I'm not ok with it."
"My husband chose me and our daughter over you
so leave us alone."
I'm really happy these days.
I have a warm loving family together with Tina and my parents.
As for my husband, well, ex-husband,
I divorced him about two months after that incident.
He asked me why I'm still leaving him when I forgave him
but even though I can honestly say with my whole heart
that I forgave him and don't hold any grudges,
I just couldn't forget it.
Actually I knew I wouldn't forget something like this
the day I took him back
but I just wanted to teach them both a lesson.
Now you might be thinking 'she's so mean'
but you don't understand,
I feel like I'm broken. The pain, the doubt.
It never goes away.
I told him I still loved him more than anything,
that I wouldn't keep him apart from our daughter
who he can see whenever he wants
but I wanted to end things on good terms now
rather than hating each other down the line.
I told him I wouldn't be angry
if he met someone else he loved, who loved him too.
But that he should not do what he did to me to someone else.
Some people learn from their mistakes.
But some people really just don't get it
and somehow get away with things.
Each person has a choice.
And I've chosen for it to be this way.
I think with time, our daughter will see
that having a father around
who doesn't love her mother,
a father who won't stop cheating
even after I took him back, would be much worse
than having a mother who assumes the role of both parents.
Things are much better this way.
I don't care what people say
or if they think raising a kid on my own is a failure.
Actually I see it as an achievement.
I chose to get myself out of
something that made me unhappy,
I now make my own happiness
and I can fully be there for my daughter.
What I've learned is that you can love whoever you want
as long as no one is getting hurt in the process.
Whether it's the person that you love,
someone else or even yourself.
And the people who truly love you,
will never hurt you physically or emotionally.
You shouldn't ever have to compromise your integrity
or your pride if they really do love you.
So don't ever accept getting hurt in the name of love
and never use love to hurt others.
Thank you for sharing your story with us.
For those that want to share as well,
you can write it to us in the comments below
or send it to the email in the description.
Our Story Fairy is working very hard
to create as many videos as possible for you.
She's sorry that she can't reply to everyone
but she appreciates each and every one of your stories.
Thank you!
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