I don't know about you, but when I browse the internet, I like to make sure my precious
time isn't wasted.
There's nothing more infuriating than jumping from site to site, aimlessly, without direction
or reason.
That's then why I have this 2002 publication from Lagoon Books, entitled, 500 Indispensable
Web Sites FOR MEN......
Ultimate Web Guide...
Ohhhh yeahhhhhh.
"A Must for all men, this internet address book will give you access to 500 essential
sites to add to your favourites.
Whether you use it for work or leisure, you'll soon wonder how you ever lived without it.
Stay one step ahead with this cool cyber guide".
I imagine, if a woman did ever try and access a website in this book - heaven forbid - her
fingers would simply snap under the manly keywords, or her eyeballs would simply explode
at the raw, unleashed images bursting from the screen, unable to be digested by her double
X chromosome.
Of course..
I'm being facetious.
A woman would clearly just die upon picking up the book.
But 2002 was a different time.
You could probably buy this book in an actual bookstore, rather than a corner of a garden
centre.
So given it's a different time, I thought we could look through some of these websites
and find out if they still exist, and exactly what state they find themselves in, some 15
years later.
Firstly, I love the fact that most of the people involved in creating this book are
actually women...
It's a TRAP... there's actually a website for the book.
Lagoongames.com... which still seems to exist.. or at least redirects to thelagoongroup.com.
Maybe they've even expanded since 2002.
Still selling gifty type things.
Wow!
Make your Own Speakers!
They seem to have discontinued this dinosaur of a book however.
And here's what lagoongames.com looked like back in 2002.
This is what I'm talking about.
Strange that this book isn't listed under the "Internet Books" section.
But then even reading the book's introduction, you realise this is a hurried affair, as this
intro seems to be entirely lifted from the 500 Essential Sites for Smart Surfers book,
telling us this book is for surfers of all ages and abilities... yeah, probably not.
Anyway, let's dive in with the LifeStyle section and....
"The Love Doctor" at drkiss.net.
Ahhh man, how the hell am I going to cope with rejection now?
Thankfully askmen.com is still up and running, offering, pfffft, things.
Again the 2002 site looks much more appealing.
We've got Man of the Week: Justin Timberlake....
Fitness Babes: Part II.... oh, jesus god, what the hell have I got myself into.
Still their site of the day...
Drobnjacks Manjaks is interesting.
The official site of Seattle Sonics' center Peja Drobnjak.
You can even make this site your HOME PAGE.
Why the hell would you want to do that?!
One more thing to do....
I'll tell you what, let's move onto the MONEY section.
(MONEY, MONEY, MONEY)
Remember a world when you had to type in lengthy URLs like this, rather than just searching,
because search engines could be so easily manipulated?
Good times.
College for Cash or Personal Finance101 is one site which seems to still work, or at
least redirects to the .org, with the last update in May 2010.
To be honest this looks like some kind of holding page, and isn't a patch on the former
glory of 2002 site edition!
Look at this thing.
We've got a completely different URL here.
A bookstore, Directory... flipping tremendous.
Some of this might actually be useful information.
But it's far from inviting.
Best fill out the guest book...
How did we get here... errrr, yeah, we'll go with "by some other method".
This book did say Indispensable, right?...
Seriously, most of these sites are more than dispensible, even if they were to work.
This site was so indispensible that from July 2002 is was re-directed to a different site
and by 2004 had been obliterated entirely.
Something tells me most of these web sites were derived using the typing topics into
Alta Vista and selecting the first option approach, which back in 2002 was far from
a safe method of finding "quality" content.
Here's a URL which no longer works, but even in 2002, was it really indispensable to take
this "Could You Be a Millionaire?"
test?
It looks like something that's fallen out of the ass of a high school web intern.
I would try and complete it, but it doesn't even load past the first page anymore.
Allow me then, if you will, to move onto the "Gadgets and Gizmos" section.
This is more like it...
The Advanced Intelligence Spy Shop, and even today, it still looks like a 2002 site.
In fact, it looks like it's from the mid 90s.
Maybe this is some kind of cover to shield the amazing spy devices stocked within.
Although, judging by the Motorola handset shown... probably not.
You can buy those voice changers as seen in the movie SCREAM, and even a eavesdropping
device that will apparently capture sounds from an infinite distance.
Useful for listening into the sounds of hell then in parallel dimensions.
CLUE Spray!
What the hell is that?
This detection powder is simply sprayed on any surface leaving an invisible film which,
when touched is immediately transferred to the hand, clothing, etc.
Will remain on hands up to five days in spite of repeated washings.
What is this stuff?
More like creepy tracking - potentially toxic - spray than clue spray.
You may be interested to know that in 2002, this site, DID actually look different...
I mean, it hasn't exactly evolved much in 15 years has it?
Same products.
Ohhh, look, even a spinning "New Products" logo.
Wow, look at this stuff.
The X-Relect camera, that can see through objects, even clothes!
Wait... what?
This doesn't even exist now, does it?
"The act of invading someone else's privacy should be avoided"....
Isn't that EXACTLY what the purpose of this is?
To invade the privacy of others?
To SPY on them?
Alright, before I get carried away with this crazy spy-tech, lets take a peek at...
Excuses.co.uk
Currently just a holding page, but back in 2002 excuses.co.uk offered "An excuse for
every occasion", because We all need excuses.
Under Law & Order we have a variety of circumstances... caught speeding, caught stealing...
READING pornography...
Reading?
I guess it's 2002.
Under which we have.
"I read it for the articles"
"All those fit bodies inspire me to keep working out"
and "I'm against this kind of stuff, but I feel I need to experience it before I can
criticize it"...aahhhhh
i-ching.com offers us an Oracle experience with promises of "clicking over the sacred
pool"...
Today, the site has mered with Tarot.com, and in fact we can see this happened way back
in late 2002.
But if we go back just a little further to 2001... well... we don't get a pool, but we
do get a book to click on... all I have to do is wait to discover my fortune.
Sounds about right.
Now, this wouldn't be a "MAN'S" book without a "Virtual babe" would it?
And today ananova.com simply provides us with a selection of hosting providers.
BUT BACK IN August 2002....
Wait...
Orange?
Cheney stresses need to oust Saddam...
What the hell is this?
We have to go all the way back to 2000, to find out what this is about... annnd apparently
she's a virtual newscaster.
Damn click bait...
BOOK, click bait.
Alright, onto the Entertainment section of the book.
And look!
Amazon.com!
Here's a site we know!
Back then, it looked like this... not that much different really.
Apart from this enticing gold box.
I could spend ages going through all these sites, but chipsworld.co.uk immediately stands
out.
It's still open, offering a variety of retro stuff... not priced too badly actually.
But back in 2002 you could grab yourself a brand new Dreamcast Ultimate Pack for £99.99,
complete with Jet Set Radio, MSR and Virtua Fighter 3.
Awesome.
And I think we'll wrap it up there.
This book is clearly packed with many more masculine websites, including SPORTS and OIL,
and BRICKS and all those manly things, so I think we might pay a sneaky revisit at some
point in the not so distant future.
But for now, thanks for watching, subscribe for more, click this video, or support me
through Patreon for exclusive rewards and mucho gratitudio.
In any case, have a great evening.
See ya!
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