Use a socket №18 and an open-end wrench №18
Use a combination spanner №21 and a hex-nut wrench №7
Using a special tool to compress the spring
Use a socket №21 and an end bit №7
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Welcome, welcome, welcome to the Reluctant Speakers Club expert series and coming up today:
I'm going to talk about how, if you are an executive who would love to tell more stories, would love to tell better stories
in your speaking --
But you're not sure that you know how or you're not sure that you can...
Is there help at hand? Well, actually, yes indeed there is - because today
I am joined all the way from t'other side of the United States
(and it's very early actually in Doug's time) by a
keynoter
extraordinary on storytelling, a trainer, founder of the Story theater international, Doug Stevens. And Doug, hello!
Hi, how are you today? I am doing fantastically. So Doug
I thought I'd start with maybe the elephant in the room for a lot of leaders who would like to use stories,
but they're not sure they can...A lot of them have worries that
either they don't have the right material or they don't have the right stuff. What are your observations?
What do you find most commonly?
Well...
I've been teaching storytelling since
1996 and a common thread is "oh I don't have any stories" -
because they've gone to some conference, they've seen some motivational speakers get up there who climb Mount Everest or survived some
tragedy, or had some major major disaster in their life that is so profound and powerful, and it's told so well,
they end up feeling:
"Well, I just have an ordinary life.
Yes, I've had failures and mistakes and small disasters. I've had challenges, but who wants to hear about those?" Why? would anybody care?
Well the reason we tell stories is because stories put things in context; stories provide
context for content. So, what I say is: you don't have to have any profound
tragedy in your life to have a good story and, quite honestly, if you tell a story
that is a relevant story, that makes a relevant point or teaches a relevant lesson - but it's from an everyday occurrence, it's from a miscommunication
from a missed flight, it's from a fender bender, it's from not planning your vacation well,
it's something that relates to what you're trying to talk about at your meeting or at your conference...
That story is going to be more relatable! I
have a hard time relating to people who've climbed Mount Everest. Quite honestly I wonder: What is with them? Why do they do that?
You and I will have common ordinary challenges throughout our life and
we'll be able to take those stories with craft (with my story theater method) or with a little bit more of an understanding of well:
What does the story do? Why does a story work, and How can I use a story to teach a lesson today?
We can see as leaders
your job is not just to deliver content. It's to deliver wisdom. Yeah, absolutely, my
perspective. And so that's what stories are all about: failures, mistakes, small disasters, a miscommunication, a small obstacle,
something that didn't go as planned. That's all you need. Now the question is: what's the point?
Absolutely that and actually you're the perfect fellow
to ask this - because you've got quite a story yourself, in terms of how you learn to become a
master storyteller...So, maybe you talk a little bit about your journey
and how you've learned to craft, if you like, the skill you obviously share all around the world?
Well, I've
come into professional speaking with an acting background and
When I started speaking professionally and started giving speeches around, Colorado
And in Denver and then slowly all over the United States, and eventually all over the world it was always
Surprising to me how the thing that people related to most was my stories
But what was really surprising Eamonn was not that they just liked the story as entertainment...
They talked about being inside the story. Whatever I was telling a story about, they
experienced it as if 'while I was telling it' they were inside it.
They were seeing it through my eyes, but it was actually it was seeing it through their eyes. So. one of my stories -
which I call my airport story - is about flying
Into, Kansas City on the same day as a booking. The booking was going to be after dinner and I flew in the same day.
And I had delays of flights in Chicago and delays of flights in Chicago and barely made it to Kansas City on time...
And I got my luggage and ran out to the curb at the last second, there were no taxis, and the shuttle bus just
passed me by...And I was like "Oh my God, I'm gonna miss my booking". I
tell this story of
Being at the back of the plane and trying to get off in the back of the plane and running out of time and being
At the luggage carousel and where's my luggage? Where's my luggage and?
People come up to me afterward and they say oh my gosh "I hated that lady on that plane
that was so slow. I was "she was such a pain in the butt. Why do they always do that?" What do ou
mean 'you hated that lady who was in front of me on the plane, who was slow? Then you are the plane...oh!
So the power of story, if it's the right story, that makes the right point, with the right lesson, is that it:
captivates the attention of your listener,
it educates them on the point that you want to make, and it elevates their experience - the lesson literally elevates their
experience. And so what I've discovered with my stories and what I've slowly learned to teach is: if you tell a story
people will participate in the story as if it's happening to them - maybe not literally exactly the same,
but they will have a parallel story during your story. And
because of that experience, because of the activation of the imagination and the synaptic activity,
because of the emotional connection -- they actually learn at a much deeper level. And
so, when I started out just telling stories, it was kind of entertainment, it was kind of funny.
It ended up being this
fascinating technology. It's like now, there's actually a
methodology and a technology and a process involved in choosing the right story, telling it correctly and
absolutely transforming people's lives -- because they get the lesson at a much deeper place.
Absolutely that and actually that lends itself beautifully - because you've used
(into the next question)...because you've used a number of really important words
about the importance of things being relatable, about the importance of
finding the everyday that is a bit more engaging, and then you get into the chicken and egg question and
the sourcing of things where people are thinking: " Well you know... That's good for Doug because Doug remembers that on the day, but
'Listen! I can't remember my name. I can't remember what I did yesterday. I don't know what I'm having for breakfast! tomorrow. Ahhh!
Where do you start Doug? Well, you start with the point in mind. You start with the lesson you want to teach.
I think every one of us goes into a meeting or presentation knowing these are the points that I need to cover
Yeah
These are the lessons that these people need to make...This is the point I'm trying to get across. And especially as a leader/ an
executive, one of my greatest challenges
is - too many leaders, as they ascend the ladder of success to higher and higher levels of leadership, they keep
giving presentations as if they were a junior manager, a mid-level manager.
When you get into the c-suite (VP and above c-suite) your job is now to create perspective,
to bring wisdom to situations. Well, what if you think:
We need to rally the troops, we've just had some bad news,
we've just had a death in the family, or we lost our CEO or our stock price tanked to the market went nuts on us,
or a competitor entered the market is kicking our
proverbial butts - and it's like, what do I need to do? I need to rally the troops. I need to lift their spirits.
I need to tell them we can get through this. Oh,
okay...Well, where did you ever have a situation in your life
where you were in crisis and you felt like 'I just can't go on' and then you realized 'Well,
I'm gonna have to go on. I'm gonna have to pick myself up. I'm gonna have to go on well. What is that story?
Yeah, absolutely. That's what you do. You look at well: I need to rally the troops, I need to give them
hope. Well, where did you lose hope and found hope? Tell me that story and that story will help me as a
listener to process through my own despair and
come out the other end going. "Oh yeah, okay? Yeah, I can have hope! We will get through this all right. Okay,
that's fine. And because it's just a normal ordinary occurrence in somebody's life, where they had a challenge, an obstacle, a crisis,
I relate to it. And if it's crafted correctly and doesn't go off on 27 tangents --
you know, if it's crafted correctly - I, the listener, get the lesson although the leader.
That's telling the story. It's just telling a story about a time in their life that was challenging.
I like something you said there - you talked about the importance of a time when you
experience of that...which doesn't mean that it has to be in a business setting. And, in fact, often times,
it's actually more interesting and engaging when it's not.
No, it's it's absolutely...
Here's the principle: logic explains,
stories persuade.
For sure when we are logical and linear and approach things in a logical and linear way, and it's a predictable
Presentation people check out because there's nothing surprising. There's nothing interesting. There's nothing dangerous
There's nothing to hold my interest
When you start to tell a story...
For instance:
You're in Ireland. I'm in the United States. I have Irish lineage. If I tell you a story about
going to England, flying over to Ireland, and renting a car and driving around the countryside searching for my heritage...
searching for that
scribble in a book in some church somewhere that leads to my ancestry, that leads to a man named, John Stevenson from
1712...and I tell you that story and how that story was a journey of exploration into meaning
Into my heritage because I felt
'unhinged, I felt like I didn't belong anywhere' --
I tell you that story and you're gonna go off on that journey.
And you're gonna follow that journey and you're gonna be in that rental car and you're gonna be driving through those towns
and it's gonna be fascinating for you because
you don't know where I'm going. Now, what I know is I'm going to use that story to take you off on a detour and
Bring you right back around to the lesson that I want to make
about meaning. Yeah, and I
love that because it is that journey, it is that immersion, it's the visceral thing...And,
to that point, actually maybe we can delve into a few things that
detract - because you talked about the tangents.
But maybe some of the No-No's that especially get in the way of
that connection being maintained and actually growing and people...just their excitement building to the crescendo that you'd like
Well the magic of stories is in the details
And what I seem to have been able to find a way to explain. It is to say: Think in scenes in
sequence -- not just facts, not just the sequence.
People who are really good storytellers create these visual images,
they create these scenes, these environments, and they populate these scenes with the people and the relationships
in the dialogue that was taking place at those moments in time.
Then it becomes a movie in somebody's mind.
But if I just say I decided that I wanted to find my you know roots
and
So I booked a plane to London
And I got a connection and Heathrow and I flew over to Dublin and I rented a car and I drove all over Ireland
Looking for my routes looking for that one
Church Leger, that would have a name in it that were related to me, and I found that church Leger, and it was awesome
Yeah
so
it was
List that was just a list yeah that didn't have any
Detail it didn't had any imagery
it didn't have any emotion so that
Makes a story come alive is the imagery in the emotion and the dialog and having
conversations and having frustrations and getting lost a
Primary principle of storytelling is that there's got to be an obstacle or
challenge. There's got to be
Turmoil, there's got to be something that goes wrong. Wel,l
hello, if I go to Ireland and I rent a car and I start driving around the countryside...
I'm gonna get out of the car somewhere looking for petrol
And I'm gonna start talking to somebody and I can't understand a word he says
He's speaking in such a brogue that it's like "What did you say?" and all of a sudden,
I'm lost and I'm confused. And out of being lost and confused, I have a much more interesting journey.
I call it the iceberg moment of memory
Yeah, the iceberg moment in Titanic is what makes the movie Titanic interesting. Without the iceberg, it's just a cruise ship!
We have a phrase here Doug we say "no shi*$, no story!"
Yeah, yeah, well. There's got to be an obstacle. There's gotta be
Something go, has to go wrong! So the simplest approach to storytelling is you start with the point in mind.
I want to teach resilience. Okay. Well, where did you lack resilience? I
want to teach ethics. Well, where were you unethical?
I want to teach
bravery. Well where were you scared and found your courage? So whatever the lesson is, we're looking for a story
that's the opposite - where we didn't have
what we want to teach ,where we didn't understand what we wanted to teach, where we had to learn it ...And
so they call it the hero's journey. I call it the doofus journey!
I'm the fool in my own story, in all of my stories Eamonn. I'm the one who doesn't get it. Yeah
I'm the clown that's that stuck in the mud. I'm the guy who didn't plan well.
I'm the guy who didn't think of it in the first place. I didn't go skating through life
easily. No, I'm the goofball in my own stories. I'm the clown. I'm the doofus! I
love it. I love it. Listen, I could literally talk all day about storytelling, but before I let you go
I'm going to ask you: If you think about what you know now and
you think about when you started your journey as a
professional speaker and when using storytelling...
What is the one thing you now know that you wish you had known from the very Get Go?
I
I now understand more clearly
the role that heart and soul and
genuine emotion plays in speaking. At the beginning I
felt that I had to have really good content, and it was all about the content. And
now having been speaking for 23 years, having spoken in 17 countries, getting bookings from major corporations, I
realized that they're hiring Doug...
Because Doug is a unique human being who has a heart and a soul and a perspective and obviously good content --- and
that 'it's you!' I mean, when you give a speech...
'It's you'. You sharing your story is a gift that you give to the audience. That says this is who I am,
I've been, this is what I've learned along the way, let me share this with you, and - especially as a leader -
let me share my wisdom from a life of pain and
Challenges and experiences. Let me share this with you
But it's really an intimate sharing the same way that I would share a story with you over a beer in the pub
Because I know you and I like you and you like me and we know each other and we're safe
Well the challenge that many people have with speaking is they don't feel safe. They don't feel that they can share anything intimate
About themselves they don't feel like they can share a failure where they learned a lesson
But what I now know and I just gave a presentation last week that was just so lovely because I just felt so
Clean and pure and and comfortable with myself and being willing to just speak the truth
So it's almost as if there are additional
Colors to my rainbow when I'm in front of an audience
and I've taken away all of the fear in all of the shields and all the pretense if I'm supposed to be and
Now after all these years when I'm in front of an audience
I'm just Doug. I
love that Doug and actually - just to kind of add to that poin... when I went to visit your all at NSA
Influence in Florida, we had a conversation, late at night, amongst a lot of international speakers...
and we said "So who did you like, what did you enjoy?" And you know what the single most common refrain was? It was the
people who
were having an authentic real
conversation and
anybody who was in the performance guild? Not so much! So, isn't that interesting? Right well
What I've learned - because I came into speaking from acting and I had a lot of stick -
I had a lot of 'I was doing a dance'
and I was scared to reveal who I was -because I was insecure I didn't feel like I was
valuable. I didn't feel like Doug was really that smart or that valuable. Well, after all these years, I've come to accept myself....
Which is the first greatest challenge for all of us as speakers. Our
fear comes from our insecurities that were somehow not smart enough, not good enough, not the best better looking,
we're not as articulate as the next person or whatever and I have all of these:
"I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not sure" all over the years. I've come to this place that I'm just fine!
Yeah!
I'm just, I'm just fine. I'm gonna stop trying to pretend, and I'm just gonna be me. Well, that comes with age.
But it's really a psychological adventure to embracing yourself and being able to say this is what I know, let's go! Yeah.
But listen you're more than fine
You're quite the inspiration, and I've really enjoyed our conversation today
And can I thank you for joining with me today and also to you our viewers?
Can I thank you for taking the time to enjoy this conversation. Do leave comments afterwards.
I will also give you a link where you can connect with Doug afterwards and Doug thanks so much and talk soon
Thank you very much. It's been a pleasure to be with you. Bye
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