This is the little art booklet I put together for the tabletop gaming group I'm part of,
and it features art that I have done, basically just as a kind of visual diary for my character.
Here is the front of the townhouse that we wound up staying in while we were fightin' evil,
and this is a cool little . . . got the . . . looks the same upside down and right side up.
It says Wraithport. I - I don't remember the word for that. Ambigram! Ambigram!
And the front folds down into a kind of pocket into which you can put other extras like this
library card I made and some concert tickets and you wanna go see a fuckin' play, let's
see a fuckin' play, so that's pretty sweet.
Ariel was a despicable junk food addict, so here's some disgusting things that he found
in the back seat and probably ate and didn't bother him because he's only twenty.
Eh. A really effective little grenade trap we ran into: coffee can, nails, grenade, and,
uh, we did eventually get that rabbit back to her person.
Ariel is one of those people you don't want in front of you at the coffee shop because
he's one of those "UUUUHHHHH CAN I GET A--" and then he orders like literally like fifty
things, at least. But! He got the barista's number! He was pretty cute! So! That was sweet.
We went to a fairy tale kingdom through a painting and my boss Yusef got turned into
a talking bear. He seemed happy but he actually wasn't, but, you know, hey, I don't think
any of us really enjoyed our time there.
We got to meet some pegasuses, they were very nice. I took some liberties in giving one
an actual name because I didn't learn their names, but this one was named Sierra Mist
because - ha ha! - that was awesome. Um.
Our succubus's gargoyles, that's pretty cool.
And we spent so much time in sewers, you guys, it's unbelievable. So here's like the stuff
that we found in there, with some sentient slime, and some giant rats, some demon locusts,
and it smells bad and there was a hell gate and vampires and there was like a ghoul dog
and I felt really bad about that because we had to kill it and there's US, so there's
all kinds of nasty stuff in the sewers of that city.
Here's one of my favorite spreads. Dead serious, this is amazing. First we have these giant
lice that were riding on a giant that we used to make our way through the Abyss, so basically
we're riding through Hell on the back of some giant hairy disgusting dude with like four-foot-long
back hair and foot-long giant lice. So here you see this guy, Hematomyzus gigantea,
the Giant Louse. These things were a foot long and full of blood. And he's a really
sketchy character but he loves his mom. And he's killed like seven people.
*sleazy louse voice:* "Hey. Hey, kid, c'mere. You want some skin flakes?"
*laughing* That's like one of my favorite, most disgusting things askfgshdkf I love it.
Uhm!
But, uh, yeah.
"Do you know how much of a louse you gotta be before you get sent to louse prison? It's
pretty bad, it's bad on the inside, I tell ya. Where do you think I got this scar?"
Yeah. It's cool.
This was our possum, Blossom, and a set of Edison cylinders that we found inside a house
we were trying to clean up that was like an occult scholar's hoarding nightmare, and we
found some Edison cylinders that were nothing but screaming, so that was lovely, we never
found out what that was about.
There's our Dryad, Glade.
Here's Spider Creek, which is a real place that you can visit in Eureka Springs, Arkansas.
This is War Eagle Mill, and the War Eagle Mill Bridge thing. Um. Uh. This is not actually
the Spider Creek bridge, I just said it was for purposes of the mini adventure that I
ran, but it's absolutely beautiful there, you can look it up, Spider Creek, real place,
very pretty, go visit!
Most of what we found in Fritz's place, the place that we were cleaning up, was not this
cool. That's a bag of finger bones and a little magical horse that turns into a real horse
when you say his name, it's really cool.
This method for bullet hole repair actually works. You will need a hole, toothpaste, a
credit card. You fill the hole with toothpaste, you smooth it with the credit card, and then
you LIE because you did not actually hear anything. I have used this on multiple occasions,
though not on actual bullet holes.
We found a jar of sheep's eyeballs that appeared to enjoy watching television, that was interesting.
And man, you ever see these things at Wal Mart? They're like these giant jars of cheezy balls?
And they're like a challenge. They're like . . . they fly in the face of God, and
I've always wanted to buy one, just so that I could say "I ate this entire jar of cheezy balls!"
But I feel like that would get me on some kind of watch list.
Anyway, this is what it looked like next to Ariel's bed with his like crappy Cheetah Burger
soft drink. He chews on his straw. Here's his keys, our little Venus flytrap named Dione,
some star lights. That's a hundred dollar bill folded to look like a shark and that
is BADASS. Uh. Those may or may not be ecstasy? Maybe they're just ibuprofen! Yeah.
There's Rene's rat, some books, and condoms! Gotta be safe! Always gotta be safe!
A letter that he wrote home to his brother along with his playlist. "My dude, Wraithport
is pretty cool. We went to a huge comics store and visited this nasty-ass bubblegum wall
and a really, really cool occult museum. I got you a shirt and a pen. Don't worry about
me 'cause my new friends are super awesome and are taking good care of me. I thought
the coolest part of this would be the coffee shops but I . . . something . . . something
my friends with something, love them, something, come home." Yeah.
This was a sword made out of petrified angel blood that actually like hurt you like hell
if you tried to pick it up, and one of our players was constantly trying to do that.
His name was Eddie, and so it's basically just "Eddie? Eddie, NO. Eddie, please stop
trying to pick that thing up." These extraordinarily suggestive-looking flowers are actually sword
lilies, and are considered sacred to the Virgin Mary. He was a very Catholic guy.
Here, when I had to take a hallucinatory vision quest to actually see Heaven so we could teleport
there, yeah, I fucked myself up pretty good. That's Banisteriopsis and Datura, those will
give you a really nasty trip, God knows what all the rest of this stuff is.
There's some Zofran so I didn't throw it back up. That was not a good day, but on the other hand,
I did get superpowers from it and could shoot fire from my eyes kind of randomly, it was awkward.
Uh, ha ha! Here's the angel we ran into. He was pretty cool. He's got his smashers up here,
the big horns. His primary flapflaps. He looks totally cute but he was not, he was
very scary, 'cause I'm like 6'2 and he was like way up here. His belly was very soft, though,
and his tail was very angry. a very angry tail.
Heaven kinda sucks. We had to kill a fallen angel. We had to go get his amulet.
That's the amulet, that's pretty cool, and these are asphodels, which grow in the fields of
Elysium, and are food for those whose work is done. The wandering spirits.
This guy! Bit my arm off! He was totally disarmingly handsome. LOL. So I got this thing,
which was pretty cool. Uh. Days since last accident: ZERO. That was also a bad day for sure.
I'm gonna kick your ass in my flower crown.
And uh, this is my familiar, his name is Summer, he's a goldfinch, and, yeah, he liked food.
[laughs] Almost as much as Ariel did. His fast food addiction.
That is way too cute to be a fast food mascot but whatever. Uh. Cheetah Burger, my imaginary
fast food franchise, which has a really disgusting, really disgusting food, I love it.
And this place, Penguin Hut, is not called Penguin Hut, but it is an actual place in
Eureka Springs, Arkansas, and it does serve really awesome ice cream to bikers.
So that's pretty sweet.
Ah, one of our player characters got married to a rock. because we had to do it otherwise
we couldn't pass the bridge and blah blah blah, the whole fairyland thing, it's always
kind of awkward and terrible.
The guy we had making our alchemical stuff had this cute little tattoo which looked like
some of the stuff he made for us. Now I made this up completely because I thought it would
be fun. But yeah, so, it was pretty sweet.
And all the character stuff that I did for each one of us.
There was me, Angel With a Shotgun, that's an actual song, yes.
There's our succubus, Bubbles, Kill of the Night, also a song, with her hellscape and
her magic key into her vault full of terrifying artifacts.
And we have Cafall, the dog, excuse me, HOUND, who was an important NPC.
We have Eddie Mendoza, Reporter of the Strange. He was really cool, like so super cool,
like the coolest character in the entire game was Eddie. Eddie Mendoza, Seeker of the Strange.
He was so cool, oh my god.
And: Carry On Wayward Son. YES! Love that song, completely describes him.
Here is his radio. He had a radio that just like spat out random numbers like one of those
creepy numbers stations, it was totally cool, and he listened to it all the time and it
was really kind of aggravating but we all put up with it because he was so awesome.
And here's his cool camera that he could use to photograph stuff like spirit energy and
so forth that was totally awesome.
Then he had like this snake tattoo and it came to life and it was like talking to him
and it led us to this city in the middle of the jungle, it was really cool. Love it.
And, uh, all the numbers are totally code for the entire Hail Mary, which ended perfectly.
It was like, it was perfect. It was beautiful. It came out super cool.
Our swam rat, Rene, Born on the Bayou, with his creepy stabby voodoo doll and his rat.
His rat named Treville who is addicted to Cheez-Its and he was really cool.
I loved Treville.
Uh. Thalia, our Fairy Queen. Definitely a quote from Labyrinth. I hope she likes this,
she hasn't seen it yet. Hnng? Uh, with her magic necklace and a cute butterfly 'cause
she was always wearing these butterfly wings from that spell, it's cool, it's cool.
And finally, Yusef, my boss, my beloved, my boyfriend, who spent quite a bit of time as
a bear, yes. And he's just such a wonderful and perfect human being, so brave and so strong,
you'd fall in love with him too, don't even lie.
Anyway.
And on the very last page, our giant spider Checkers. Decorating for Christmas. Yeah.
That was a nice day, that was a nice day, decorating for Christmas with a giant spider.
You should try it! It's fun!
Anyway! Thank you for looking at my stupid book and that will be quite enough of that!
Love you guys!
Later Gators!
No comments:
Post a Comment