Today's topic: Don't Be Miserable in Advance
Hi I'm Doug Holt with Author of Your Own Story and this is your daily growth hack
where each day would give you a tip trick or insight to help you up level
well we called the five to thrive that is your mind your body your soul your
relationships and your business Seneca said and I'm gonna read it cuz it's a
quote it's ruinous for the soul to be anxious about the future and miserable
in advance of misery engulfed by anxiety that the things it desires might retain
its own until the very end for such a soul will never be at rest by longing
for things to come it will lose the ability to enjoy the present things now
I think this is so apropos especially for today in today's society you know
the other day I had someone coming to me as a Doug we need to talk right now it
was done via text messages but that's how I heard it we need to talk in kind
of a deep tone if you can imagine and it was very easy to go oh crap what do we
have to talk like what do we need to talk about something wrong you know this
is a client of mine and I was just like wow you know what's going on with his or
her life now that I went through this process and I'm gonna guess I went
through this process for all of three seconds right but sometimes three
seconds can seem like an eternity but right away I went right back to my
training and that training is comfortable years and years and years of
experience and really working on this probably you know I don't know what he
means he could mean that something's wrong or something's amazing so how do I
know and I just kind of let it brush brush off now but I do remember in the
past in the past I would have thought oh man what's going on you know what they
need something's wrong you know something's broke etc etc and I would
have been miserable about a future advance or perhaps it was the a visit
like maybe it was some a guest visiting that I was a little anxious about you
know it could have been somebody coming into town that was staying with us or or
even you know sometimes I say yes to events you know speaking events like six
months or a year in advance and it gets closer I'm like oh man I got to go and
speak at this event I don't know who's gonna be there and you know geez do I
really want to go I'm gonna miss my family I got this whole list of my head
I thought when I last a little bit longer but it usually lasts only a
couple minutes tops and then I spin out of that pretty
quickly again because of my training but back in the past that would have lasted
with me for weeks you know just kind of been
and I gotta go to a speaking event and this is what's going on and I'm sure you
can relay you know if I look called you right now or text you and said hey we
need to talk or you know that common phraseology oftentimes we'd go right
away into you know the worst parts of the future we project this meaning into
the future about what it could be or you know something bad and we kind of come
you know human nature you come up almost the worst-case scenario but now if
you've been listening to these daily growth acts you know very well that you
have complete control of this right you can define the story any way you want so
what I chose to define is like you know we need to talk I was like you know
awesome I look forward it's a coaching client of
mine all my coaching clients I develop really deep personal relationships with
them so I was really actually turned it around like this is could be really
great I'm really excited like I wonder what's going on you know what's
happening and so you know just to give you an idea when we got on the phone he
need to talk because he just doubled his business he doubled his business with
just a few mental tips a few mental clicks and changes that he had put into
his psychology that were allowing him to produce better results and he was so
excited so he actually got his financial statement closed a couple key clients
and doubled his income and so that's why he wanted to talk so it wasn't bad at
all right but had I been to that miserable state you know I would have
lost contact with just reality I were lost contact with this present moment
with again my family which I talked about so much on this podcast but I
spent so much time with you know my wife and my son I'm able you know we're not
traveling I'm here you know I got whiteboards all over this room I got you
know a new one behind me I don't use that much but you know I would have lost
it I would have sat down I would have been moping around and and really just
waiting for the phone call kind of dreading it but at this point you know
it's just changed it I don't let misery predict my future I don't play into that
misery instead I want to change my paradigm so what else is possible now
you always have three possibilities right you obviously you have the
miserable one you know you have a positive one or what's else what else is
possible for you so it's something I want you think about right now if you
have your journal is there something in the future that's coming up for you that
you're dreading you know maybe it's a date maybe it's an event that you're
going to maybe it's just talking to somebody or you know whatever it could
be you what is it write that down and then what
I want you to do is is write what else is possible for that write a positive
scenario for that and this isn't all about just being happy this is really
about controlling your own destiny in your own life it's really about being
the author of your own story right so because if you were to live into that
misery you're gonna miss a thousand precious today's a thousand precious
nows and moments and I don't want you to do that so write that out and then write
down a positive meaningly you can associate with that remember you know
meaning equals emotion and emotional equals life so change that up for
yourself really make a difference and that's gonna allow you to enjoy today
enjoying this moment and if you're like the old me this could give you a whole
week of your life back and to enjoy and that's priceless a week of your life
holy cow that's just amazing and if you can do that week after week after week
then you've mastered the art of being the author of your own story that's it
for me today remember go out build your tribe share this with at least three
people right now that you think would enjoy it and spark a conversation with
them I don't care if the conversation with is about how bad my background
looks or how you don't like them I don't it doesn't matter to me that what really
is important to me is that you share these with at least three people so you
can build your tribe build the people you're having conversations with that
matter and build your base that's it go out and be the author of your own story
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