Hola a todos!
so, today I thought I'd talk about something very different
basically because I found myself thinking a lot about sex like my education and
you know my experiences and I've talked about it with my friends too and you
know I kind of found like a pattern like I feel like none of us are given
like a good education about it and I think it's like basic. I feel like everyone
should have knowledge because it's just a natural thing and it's something that
most of us are going to do at some point in our lives.
I haven't really thought
about what I'm gonna say I'm just gonna talk and we will see how it goes.
I don't know
Also, I would like to point out that this is my opinion I'm not saying
everyone should think like this, and y'know, I'm just talking based on my
experiences and my friends' experiences and yeah, okay? okay
anyways so the first thing I'd like to talk about is consent which is...
well, it's not... that's why I'm talking about it.
But it should be very obvious.
but basically everyone needs to give their consent that they want to what you are gonna do.
So, when I say consent, I mean it from the beginning to the end
you all need to be consensual about everything that's going to happen. Also, you need to
understand that even if the other person says yes at the beginning, they
can change their mind: they can say no after one minute, two mins, half an hour,
whatever. they can say no at whichever time and you need to stop
even if you're both completely naked and you've started doing it already if the
other person says stop, you stop.
I think it's very basic but yeah.
now the second thing is obviously protection
doesn't matter who you're doing the thing with
doesn't matter if you are in a relationship or you've just met them or
whatever the situation is, you need to be
be protected
This is not only about
getting pregnant which obviously is like the main thing, like
I don't want to be pregnant I'm 21, no thanks
But apart from that, there're so many STDs that you can get .
it's not just AIDS
And you don't want that kind of negativity in your life, you know
So let's just avoid it. it's really easy it's really really easy
there are many ways to prevent getting pregnant. I'm just gonna say the two main ones
actually, three main ones.
and one is being on the pill
mainly if you are having sex with someone like really regularly, that you know you're
gonna be doing it, I think it would be a good idea for you to at least consider, y'know
getting on the pill
Now the second thing obviously is condoms.
Again this is for not getting pregnant and also not to get any STDs because we don't want that, remember?
So yeah, it is very basic and I know a lot boys, also girls, but I think
mainly it's the boys who would rather not use it
And it's just stupid really
like, you need to do it. Doesn't matter what they say to you, if you're a girl or
if you are whatever, if you're a person who likes being
with boys and, you know, that other person doesn't want to use condom you say: "fuck it
it's either we use it or we don't do shit"
the third thing is the
morning-after pill. I think that's what it's called in English, I'm not very sure
and that's mainly if, you know, you're using condoms and it breaks which is
something that can happen
Then you need... well, you don't need it but I would advise you
to take it just in case, so you don't get pregnant and also if for whatever
reason you decided not to use condoms, then most definitely you need to get
that one. Also if you're not on the pill
of course, if you're on the pill that's different
also, like, talking about condoms I've realized that there is like this "social thought"
like the "social rule" kind of. I guess you can call it that
that boys have to be that ones who have condoms and it's not
the girl's responsibility or whatever which I personally think is stupid
and I honestly I don't get it. I think both people or whatever number of people,
I'm gonna say "both" because, you know, it's easier like that but of course
you can have sex with like ten people at same time if you want to, fuck it
but anyways everyone needs to have their own condom because it's everyone's responsibility
not to get STDs and not to get pregnant
it's not that hard, you can get in any pharmacy, it's not super expensive and
even if it was it's necessary so, you know, invest
I don't know, that's what I think anyway.
now the third thing I would like to talk about... it's a bit... I don't know
obviously I'm not saying this is something that happens of everyone,
all the time, every time. I'm not saying that
Far from saying that but in my
experience, most of my experiences were like this and, also, now that I talk with my friends,
most of their experiences were like this as well
and I think this is something that's not talked about
like, of course, sex in general it's a very taboo topic so I get it, but at the same time
it's just so necessary. I think it's so necessary that I'm just gonna talk about it now
I realized that there's this "social rule" again and this
happened to me until like very recently that I realized and I was like: "not anymore"
When it comes to heterosexual sex
which is my experience. Like, so far I've only had sex with boys.
I always assumed that sex finished when the guy finished, you know?
When the guy came, that was it
Like, success!
I don't know why but I was like: if the boy doesn't cum, then it's a total failure. Like, I failed.
But if I don't cum, then it was normal, you know, it's something to be expected.
And I think the boy thought the same way.
I am NOT saying if you didn't make me cum, you're a failure, I'm never
gonna talk to you again. Because, you know, it can happen.
It depends on like different factors whether I'm going to cum or not, but
if you don't even try
to make me get there, then you're just really selfish and sexist.
At first, when I realized that this is something that happened, you know, like there was this
kind of pattern in like pretty much every single one of my experiences I was like:
the guy is such an arsehole, like why do you do that? like the guys in general
but then I realized: I was the one letting them do that
It just shouldn't be like that, you know? that's all I'm saying
If there's just one thing that I want you to
"gain", I guess, from this video is that you girls need to have fun as well, just equally.
The fun is to be equal. He's having a lot of fun you need to be having a lot of fun too.
And don't be afraid to tell them if you're not ready
for the D, you know, like you need to be wet enough down there
And if you're not, it's either gonna hurt or you're not gonna feel anything.
And that's not the idea
And I think this kind of leads to me to
the other thing that I really want to talk about, which is masturbation.
There's such a huge taboo around masturbation when it comes to girls, because boys... it's
just really normal. you know boys do it from a very young
age but girls, it's like we think they don't do it and we kind of condemn it if they do
I think we're very judgmental on girls
From my experience anyway, I remember being much younger and I remember the first time I tried
It was just really... awful. Like, first of all, because I didn't have any ed sex...
any what? any sex ed. Because I didn't have any sex ed, I didn't know what I was
supposed to do, like when I thought about sex
all I thought about was like...
you know?
I always thought that that was the only way for
me or for girls in general to get pleasure which is just not true and so I
had to discover myself by myself
I just started like
touching and stuff, I didn't know what to do. I tried like putting my fingers up there
and it was just not working and at the same time
my mentality was like "this is so pathetic. What am i doing. A girl touching herself? that's just not... that's just for boys, right?"
that was my mentality.
I would say I was brainwashed.
it took me a long time
to realize that it's just super normal to do it, you know, why wouldn't you?
Y'know, it feels good
I also think it's very
important to know yourself and also because when you are with someone new
you can tell them exactly what you like and what you don't like, and it just makes
everything much easier for the other person on for yourself
Don't think it's pathetic, don't think it's stupid, don't think it's pointless.
Try different ways. Try it with your hands, try with things, try it with toys
until you find what you like.
I mean, if you don't want to, that's fine. You do you, I'll do me.
But I'm just saying:
touch yourself.
I'm obviously not here to say what age is appropriate or like "the perfect age to do it for the first time"
because I don't know. Like, who am I to say that? no one.
but I do feel like you need to be mature enough to know that consequences and obviously to not
feel pressured, not peer pressure I also not... like... pressure on yourself
don't put too much pressure on yourself because it's just unfair.
Just do it whenever you want to do it, whenever you feel ready to do it, and with whoever you want to do it.
If you want to have your first time with a boyfriend that you love and you trust with all your heart and soul,
that's awesome. You do it however you want.
If you want to lose it with just a person who you find attractive
and that's it, go ahead and do it. Just you know, don't let other people say
or tell you when and who to do it with because they're not you
you know? you and only you know what you want, who you want it with, how you want to do it
just do it for yourself and not for anyone else.
okay? okay
There's one more thing I want to mention
And that is that there is not a "wrong" or a "right" way to do it.
So as long as it's legal, then it's fine. It's right.
I think that's all, I don't know.
It would be great if you leave me a comment below telling me a little bit
about your experiences or talking about whatever you think I forgot to talk about
because obviously I did not mention a lot of essential things and I hate myself for that.
and yeah.
Adios!
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