This Month in History – September
Hey Crash, today we're going to be doing the 9th episode of our miniseries "This
Month in History", therefore focusing on the month of September!
September is a month of sadness… The dark clouds form around my skull like handcuffs
around a criminals' wrists, the overwhelming tempest eroding the very part of me which
is capable of seeing light and feeling hope. I'm numb, I'm cold, and I'm lost. Where
does one go when he has nowhere left to turn? Uhh… Are you okay buddy?
Yeah, of course Culture. Why wouldn't I be?
That's a relief, for a second there I thought- The downpour stings my skin and takes what's
left of my weary mind, laying me to rest for the final time…
Alright, I think after the episode we'll have to take you to a psychiatrist or something…
The things you're saying aren't normal. When have I ever said anything "normal"?
Fair point. Are you okay to continue the episode? Yeah, no problem. As the episode goes on,
you'll learn exactly what has put me in this low-spirited state.
Alright, well, do your thing Crash. September 1st!
In 1939, Hitler orders extermination of mentally ill.
gulps In 2015, Pope Francis tells priests to pardon
women who have had an abortion, in a letter released by the Vatican.
September 2nd! In 1944, Holocaust diarist Anne Frank sent
to Auschwitz concentration camp In 1987, Donald Trump takes out a full page
NY Times ad lambasting Japan September 3rd!
In 1967, Sweden begins driving on right-hand side of road.
In 2013, Microsoft purchases Nokia for $7.2 billion.
September 4th! In 1998, Google is formally incorporated by
Larry Page and Sergey Brin, two students at Stanford University.
In 1997, Howard Stern Radio Show premieres in Louisville, Kentucky.
September 5th! In 1698, Russian Tsar Peter the Great imposes
a tax on beards. That bastard!
In 1991, Nelson Mandela chosen as president of African National Congress.
September 6th! In 1994, actor Jackson Pinckney awarded $487,000
for being partially blinded by Jean-Claude Van Damme during filming of "Cyborg".
In 2012, Barack Obama accepts the Democratic nomination for US President.
September 7th! In 1996, rapper Tupac Shakur was shot multiple
times in a drive by shooting in Las Vegas, dying six days later.
Ooooh, I see why you're acting so weird. Your idol passed away in September.
HE'S NOT A MERE FUCKING "IDOL" TO ME YOU ASSHOLE, TUPAC IS NOTHING SHORT OF A LIVING
GOD! A living god?
In 2006, Sacha Baron Cohen's mockumentary "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for
Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan" premieres at the Toronto Film Festival.
September 8th! In 1974, US President Gerald Ford pardons
former President Richard Nixon of all federal crimes
In 1986, The Oprah Winfrey Show is first broadcast nationally.
Everybody, LOOK UNDERNEATH YOUR SEATS! I HAVE GIVEN YOU ALL A COPY OF MY BRAND NEW NOVEL!
YOU GET A COPY, YOU GET A COPY, AND YOU GET A COPY!
September 9th! In 1971, John Lennon releases his "Imagine"
album. In 2015, Queen Elizabeth II becomes Great
Britain's longest-reigning monarch at 63 years and seven months, beating the previous record
set by her great-great-grandmother, Queen Victoria.
September 10th! In 1991, grunge rock band Nirvana release
their single "Smells Like Teen Spirit". In 1999, Fight Club, directed by David Fincher
and starring Edward Norton and Brad Pitt, premieres at the Venice Film Festival.
September 11th! In 1962, drummer Ringo Starr replaces Pete
Best of the Beatles. In 2001, two passenger planes hijacked by
terrorists crash into New York's World Trade Towers causing the collapse of both and deaths
of 2,752 people. September 12th!
In 1995, INXS' Michael Hutchence pleads guilty to punching a photographer.
In 2012, Apple unveils its iPhone 5 and iOS 6
September 13th! In 1981, creator and producer of Saturday
Night Live Lorne Michaels weds model Susan Forristal.
In 1989, Les Miserables opens at Fisher Theatre, Detroit.
September 14th! In 1901, Theodore Roosevelt is sworn in as
the youngest man to serve as US President, after William McKinley finally dies after
an anarchist shoots him in Buffalo In 2015, 14 year old Texan Ahmed Mohamed arrested
at school when home-made clock assumed to be a bomb - Mark Zuckerberg and US President
Barack Obama send supportive tweets. September 15th!
In 1928, Scottish bacteriologist Alexander Fleming discovers penicillin while studying
influenza. In 1998, Google.com is registered as a domain
name
Alright, alright, can we get on with the segment that people actually care about now? Let's
take a look at some notable people who were born during the month of September!
Vine Star Cameron Dallas Actor Adam Sandler
Singer Nick Jonas Rapper Lil Wayne
All of those morons are lame as hell… Oh well, moving on!
I'm relieved to see that you're not so gloomy anymore!
I've had some time to think it all over and come to terms with things… I just wasn't
prepared to be reminded of such a tragedy so soon… So, now let's take a look at
some notable people who passed away during the month of September!
Lord of the Rings author J. R. R. Tolkien Rock guitarist Jimi Hendrix
Children's author Dr. Seuss And… AND…
Come on Crash, what's the last name on that list buddy?
FUCK MY LIFE CULTURE, TUPAC DIDN'T DESERVE TO DIE… AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S WORSE?!
What's that? We had TWO gods taken from us in September…
Tupac… and… MY SEXY ASS SOULMATE, THE GLORIOUS MR GANDHI! When will this unfunny
joke end? NEVER CALL GANDHI'S DEATH A JOKE!
Ahem September 16th!
In 1941, Adolf Hitler orders that for every dead German, 100 Yugoslavs should be killed.
In 1983, Arnold Schwarzenegger becomes a US citizen.
September 17th! In 1683, Dutch scientist Antonie van Leeuwenhoek
is the first to report the existence of bacteria. In 1900, Commonwealth of Australia proclaimed.
September 18th! In 1971, Momofuku Ando markets the first Cup
Noodle, packaging it in a waterproof polystyrene container.
In 1997, Ted Turner gives $1 billion to the United Nations, creating the public charity,
the United Nations Foundation September 19th!
In 1975, Fawlty Towers starring John Cleese, Prunella Scales and Andrew Sachs premieres
on BBC2 in the UK. Ah, a beautiful moment for television history…
In 2011, Ashton Kutcher debuts on Two and a Half Men, replacing Charlie Sheen.
Ah, a fucking shit moment for television history… September 20th!
In 1976, Playboy releases Jimmy Carter's interview that he lusts for women.
In 2005, model Kate Moss is dropped by clothing chain H&M after allegations of drug taking.
September 21st! In 1995, the Hindu milk miracle occurs, in
which statues of the Hindu God Ganesh began drinking milk when spoonfuls were placed near
their mouths. In 2016, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg and
his wife Priscilla Chan pledge $3 billion to medical research to "cure, prevent or manage
all diseases by the end of the century". September 22nd!
In 1980, John Lennon and Yoko Ono sign a recording contract with Geffen Records.
In 1985, St Louis Cardinals set an unusual baseball streak record by winning 9 of 10
games, each pitched by a different man. September 23rd!
In 1889, Nintendo Koppai (Later Nintendo Company, Limited) founded by Fusajiro Yamauchi to produce
and market the playing card game Hanafuda. In 2003, crime drama NCIS premieres on CBS.
September 24th! In 2012, books by Japanese authors or about
Japan are suspended by Chinese bookstores. In 1968, 60 Minutes, an American newsmagazine
television program, debuts on CBS. September 25th!
In 1906, Leonardo Torres Quevedo successfully demonstrates the invention of the Telekino,
guiding a boat from the shore, in what is considered the birth of the remote control.
In 1977, About 4,200 people take part in the first running of the Chicago Marathon.
September 26th! In 1960, the first televised debate takes
place between presidential candidates Richard M. Nixon and John F. Kennedy.
You know, I've never understood why people watch those stupid debates… they just seem
like a pussy, snobby alternative to watching the UFC.
In 1969, Abbey Road, the last recorded album by The Beatles, is released.
September 27th! In 1968, the stage musical Hair opens at the
Shaftesbury Theatre in London, where it played 1,998 performances until its closure was forced
by the roof collapsing in July 1973. In 1908, the first production of the Ford
Model T automobile is built at the Piquette Plant in Detroit, Michigan.
September 28th! In 1892, the first night game for American
football takes place in a contest between Wyoming Seminary and Mansfield State Normal.
In 1941, CBS makes the first colour televisions available for sale to the general public,
but the product is discontinued less than a month later.
September 29th! In 1951, The first live sporting event seen
coast-to-coast in the United States, a college football game between Duke and the University
of Pittsburgh, is televised on NBC. In 1916, American oil tycoon John D. Rockefeller
becomes the world's first billionaire. September 30th!
In In 1882, Thomas Edison's first commercial hydroelectric power plant (later known as
Appleton Edison Light Company) begins operation on the Fox River in Appleton, Wisconsin.
In 2005, the controversial drawings of Muhammad are printed in the Danish newspaper Jyllands-Posten.
September 31st! Uh, Crash? There's no
such date as "September 31st". God damn it man, can this day get any worse?
I hope you all enjoyed this instalment of This Month in History – hopefully you'll
be leaving us with a new piece of knowledge! If any of our viewers actually have any empathy,
they'll be leaving this video heart-broken. This shit was soul-shattering…
If anyone here is emotionally questionable buddy, it's you.
Anyway, I hope you all have a wonderful day, and we'll see you in a brand new video next
week!
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