- (What are we doing, Beth?) - I don't know but look at them shoes.
- We're going into Zara because you want a co- Ooh! It's fluffy!
- (We're clothes shopping today. Clothes shopping with Beth, Dan and Joey.) - This is very 'me' but I bet it's very expensive.
- (I just found my favourite coat.) - Aw, he looks really cute guys.
- And it's even got straps. - (Straps!)
- (I need to be stopped, we've got Cardiff in a week.)
- (What do I do with the bag afterwards?) - Well I can use the bag.
- (You get a free bag, that's your birthday present.) - Give it to me. Thanks.
- Thanks for that.
- We're shooketh.
- (Oh my god, that's so cute.)
- (Hi Kezia.) - This is 'The Time Ladies'!
- (The Time Ladies.) - Make a gif out of this. Wait, wait, let's just- Look. - What are we doing?
- You can gif that!
- (I'll see you next week, then.) - I'll see you next week! Bye! - (Bye!)
- (You know how he sounds exactly like Zack?) - (Yeah.) - Hi.
- (He looks exactly like Chris from Skins.) - We've only just met him. No he doesn't look like Chris from Skins!
- (No, no, look at his face.) - (He does not look like Chris from Skins.) - (Look at the camera.)
- (Gendry? I'll take that as a compliment.)
- (Ah, I love Trainspotting 2.)
- (Right, so you own that coat?) - (Yeah, I own that. That's my winter coat.)
- I feel like a Polar Bear it's so warm. This is the size I have. - (But in winter, you're going to want to be a Polar Bear.)
- Oh my god. It's in the Maternity section.
- Maybe that's why it's so big.
- (We've decided it's too difficult shopping with a girl so we've come to the cupcakes.) - I'm sorry!
- Mmm, it's like marble cake!
- (Look at that nice view.) - This is like Aliens of London all over again when I stand in the shot.
- (Oh yeah, it's Aliens of London. Because Big Ben doesn't bong. Big Bong.) - Because I'm a Slitheen.
(LAUGHTER) - Big Ben doesn't bong.
- See you next week! Missing you already. Love you, bye. - (I'm missing you and you're right there. Love you, bye.)
- (Bring it in!) - I'm a hugger.
- Right, bye! - (See you, bye.)
- Hello! - (Hi, welcome to Cardiff.)
- Hello, where's the other one? - (The other one? He gets here in five minutes time.) - What?
- "We're here." I see one person. I see one person.
- Ah, do you know how tight this suit is? I haven't worn it in fucking ages.
- (So you've never been to Cardiff before, have you?) - No I've never been to Cardiff.
- (How have you never been-?) - (Is this your first time in Wales?) - Yeah.
- Well, I mean, I've watched Torchwood a lot, so I've basically been here, you know? - (So? That doesn't-)
- ("I've been setting traps for you all this time." I can't remember the entire speech.) - (Hang on, that is an acc- you're doing an impression, I can tell.)
- (No, thats not an impression. That's just the way I read things.) - (Oh, it's your Paul McGann impression.) - (It's my Paul McGann.)
[PAUL MCGANN ACCENT] - "I like Dark Eyes! It's not my fault!"
- ("What if I reversed it? Another - hundred years?")
[LASER SCREWDRIVER SFX]
- I ain't been there! (GROANING)
- I can't wait to take Twelve's screwdriver to a club one day so I go spinning around, like-
- My boy!
- Hello son! - (Hello mum!)
- (Your cosplay! Oh my god!)
- Hello! This is my work. - (Hello, 'Clara'. Your work!)
- (Ayy!) - Son!
- (Oh my god. What the- Where did you get that?)
(LAUGHTER) - Oh! Oh dear!
- (It's your birthday tomorrow. How old are you going to be?) - Twenty! That's so old. I'm such an old lady.
- (There they go. Oh look at Thomas Dunn in the front seat.)
- (Bye! You can't even see that they're all waving because of how dark the windows are.)
- (World Enough and Time Master! Ah, that's cool.)
- This is really cringey. - Here you go, you can keep your key. - (Oh alright, cheers. I brought it for nothing.)
- No, until later. "I brought it for nothing!"
- (Just, kind of, point and just start shouting 'kill it, kill it' really aggressively.)
- "Kill it! Kill it!"
- (What's it like being in the Bay, Tom, for the first time?) - I don't know, I'm not there yet. - (Well this is the Bay, this counts as the Bay.)
- (Take a left, a really sharp one because that's the door we had to go in.)
- The Master never had that. Give it back.
- "I have stolen the Doctor's device!"
- (So you chose to go to the Experience on the last day.) - Well, I just took my chance when I could, really.
- (You took your chance when you could? It's been open for five years!) - He's a laid back sort of guy. Very laid back.
- (If you're expecting to get that out of his pocket easily-) - (I was going to say, what is that?)
- (Look, this is how you get it out.) - What you doing?
- (Pennock? Where art thou, Pennock?) - (Romeo, Romeo.) - (Romeo!)
- "Hundred years?!" (LAUGHTER)
[PETER CAPALDI ACCENT] - ("Amy and Rory. It was Amy and Rory.") - "Amy and Rory. It was Amy and Rory."
- (Why do you have so many props on you?) - Because I am a 'prop man'.
- And- if I can find it- the will to live. No? No I can't. - (Tom relates.) - I can relate.
- Meet Ursula. - (Ursula! Elton.) - ("Elton! Fetch a spade!")
- I spent a lot of money on this, it better get a good laugh or two.
- (Wait, are you cosplaying Elton? Oh my god!) - I'm Elton! (LAUGHTER)
- And you can't beat a bit of ELO.
- (Wait, are you the Horse from-) - I'm Susan. From 'A Town Called Mercy'. The best episode of Doctor Who ever.
- It's the best one of Series 7A.
- (It's Ten and Martha, look.) - Martha!
- We're the sensible people. - (Yeah, we're walking. Everybody else is just-)
- (There was lightning a minute ago, you got it in your vlog.) - It's because it's sad that the Doctor Who Experience is closing.
- (It's the real Paul McGann!) - Wow!
- (I'll edit this into a Life on Mars intro.)
- (Doctor Who Experience.)
- I can't believe it's the one and only- Epic Who. - Epic Who!
- (Try putting your hand on John Barrowman's slab, see how big his hands are.) - Oh my god!
- (Look, put your hand on there and show Bracken how, like-) - My hands are the same size as Clara's.
- Oh look, it's Paul McGann! Oh my god they fit perfectly. It means I am the real Paul McGann!
- (Look how many of us there are! Oh my god.) - So many.
- (I don't know what's going on.) - I'm lost.
- (I can't believe you.)
- It's become a trend, I've started a trend.
- (Tom Baker has arrived.) - Tom Baker has arrived.
- Take it. - (It's got his name in it.) - (Has it actually?)
- We could take the Moment. - (You open the page - 'Steven Moffat'.)
- (Oh my god, it's TomInTheTARDIS.) - I'm finally here.
- Hey, it's my boy! - (Pain!) - (Pain.)
- (Look what it is, Tom.) - It's my TARDIS!
[MIMICKING DRUNK TENTH DOCTOR] - Just drunk walking, like- Help me. Help me out, mate.
- Has he got a wonky eye? Aw, he ain't got it anymore. Ain't he got it? Aw. - (No, they fixed his eye.)
- The best Cyberman. That one looks dench, the dench Cyberman vs the dench Doctor. - (Oh yeah, Cybershade.)
- What you saying, g?
[GROANING] - That was bare awkward.
- (Tom, Nick Briggs is over there.) - Nick Briggs?! "Please don't pirate Big Finish."
- (Excuse me, Nick Briggs? Do you like Dark Eyes?) - (He's going to go- 'what?')
- (Ask him, ask him!) - You alright? [TAPS NICK BRIGGS]
- (The way you tapped him then!) - I've touched Nick Briggs!
[MANIACAL LAUGHTER]
- The buttons aren't real. - (Aren't they?) - No, because I just pressed one.
- (Hello!) - To be honest, that's what a student walks like.
- (What does it feel like? That's lovely.) - (Oh yeah.)
- ("Osgood! Osgood! Osgood!") - "Osgood! Osgood!"
- Make way for the Supreme beings! Move! Move! Move!
- Thank you. (LAUGHTER) - "Thank you."
- (Oh my god, look. It's Paul McGann's costume!)
- (That was a moment. Speaking of the Moment-) - That was exhilarating.
- "What we do today is not out of fear or hatred. It's done because there is no other way." - (This time-)
- This time, we're just gonna- bang! (LAUGHTER)
- (Two TARDISes land, all three Doctor's stood there-) - And he gets shook when he turns around and sees two TARDISes, "what's going on?"- bang!
- (Three Doctor's are just there like- "this time there's three of us" and then a third TARDIS lands-)
- (Just- Paul McGann runs out, he's like- wahey!)
- For the banter, he's drunk as well, like he's just taken the elixir thing, he's like- wahey!
- (Hello.) - Damn boy, you look good.
- "Kill it! Kill it! Kill it!"
- Alright- no, I mean- not for Leah, for Livvy. - (For Livvy.)
- What happened the first time we filmed with the Daleks was that every time we put the triggering device near it, it went like this- (INAUDIBLE)
- Hang on a minute. Hang on a minute.
- More accurate than they were in Series 6. [CYBERMAN VOICE] - -make my voice very low, so that when you add the effect it-
- -because if you just speak normally, it just sounds like that.
- You want to have a go? Come here! - I thought he was calling me out then.
- (Hey Phoebe.) (GROANING) - Why are you like this? Show me my best angles, just- - (Oh boy.)
- ("It's Novice Hame!")
- (Oh, there you are.) - (Oh my god-) - I went to find Beth, we're going to meme-ify Beth because she was on the green screen. And so I just filmed her on the green screen so I can do whatever I want now.
- "Elton, you can't touch me. I'm sorry, you can't touch me."
- ("Bliss! Where is she?)
- ("Bye bye, Elton. Bye bye.")
- Hello!
- You're giving the Fan Show a run for its money. - (Oh, is this the Fan Show?)
- (I'm fairly sure that shouldn't be doing that.)
- (You getting a picture with Davros?)
- ("Pain!")
- (What happened to the Movel-? They've taken the thing out of the Movellan.)
- (You look scared.) - (Well, she's about to die in some wood, of course she's going to be scared.) - (Yeah, but she's like-)
- (It's alright mate, I've got you.)
- David Tennant is coming back as Alec Hardy. - (Alec Hardy in Doctor Who.) - Alec Hardy!
- (We're trying to work out who's coming out of that TARDIS.) - "My name is Alec Hardy."
- (Guess.) - (Who's coming out of the TARDIS?) - Bradley Walsh.
- (Adric is back!) (LAUGHTER)
- I've never seen someone look so attractive. Good grief. - (Oh my god, it's Epic Who.) - (Oh hello.)
- What moisturiser do you use? - Aloe Vera? - Aloe Vera.
- Is it Aloe Vera? - Aloe, Vera!
- I'm a better Doctor than Peter Capaldi.
- (Am I the only one who really wants James Blunt to be the next companion?) - It's Dave from Coach Trip.
- (Dave Coaches from Gavin and Stacey.)
(FIREWORKS AND EXPLOSIONS)
- (Our actions have opened the heart of the TARDIS. While this remains open, our protection, our safe passage from here- from the Doctor Who Experience is assured.)
- (But wait, there's one final message in our data banks. One final signal.)
- Hello, the Doctor Who Experience. What can I say about the Doctor Who Experience?
- I've had the Doctor Who experience, and it was very very special. I've also been at the Doctor Who Experience, many times, and always loved it.
- It's such a warm, friendly place. And apart from that, it's got all these fabulous exhibits, all these bits and pieces that I just want to touch, and play with, and wear.
- And some of them, I have actually worn. I wonder if I could have them back? Would that be possible?
- People do come from all over the world to come and visit the Doctor Who Experience, and that's a great example of how successful it has been.
- I'm sorry it's closing, I'm sorry I'm not there. Please, have a wonderful, wonderful time. And take the spirit of Doctor Who and the Doctor Who Experience with you, wherever you go.
- Are you experienced? I am. You should be too. (CHEERING)
- (You've been once and it's getting you teary.) - Nah, it's a bit- it's sad, innit?
- (Look at everyone who works here, all-) - Yeah, because they're all out of a fucking job, that's why.
- (The side to TomInTheTARDIS that you don't see in my vlogs.) - I'm emotional, you know. Don't get it twisted, I'm emotional. Do you know what I mean? It's sad.
- (This is actually really sad because it is definitely the last time I will ever- Oh my god. The heart of the TARDIS! Oh my days.)
- (Tom, I might not see you for a while, because I don't know if I'll be seeing you tomorrow-) - Follow me. - (Follow you? No, because I've got to go to Sainsbury's, then we're all checking into our rooms.)
- Trust me- (INAUDIBLE) - (Okay.)
- (So, have you enjoyed the last day of the Experience?) - I have, it's very sad. Make sure you watch my video too.
- (It's going to be very sad never going again.) - Well, for me, until the end, it didn't feel like the end. Because obviously, since coming to Uni, I've been able to go there whenever I want.
- (Yeah, one day you're just going to go- "I want to go to the Experience." and you're just like- "Oh.") - Yeah, I'll get to the Experience and I'll be like- "Oh, it's a derelict site now."
- It is sad, but I'm not really that sad, because- (INAUDIBLE) - (Alright, well, I'll see you- I've got to walk in the opposite direction-) - No you haven't.
- (I do.) - There's a certain man that might be at the Bay.
- (Who?) - Russell. - (What, now?) - Yes. - (Why now?)
- Hello mate, do you want a photo-? - (Hi, um-)
- Is that cosplay or are you just really smart? - (Cosplay. Simm Master from the End of Time (The Sound of Drums... My mistake.), I've got the ring somewhere.) - Ah, brilliant! Oh that's- I've never seen that before. That's brilliant.
- (I'm really bad at talking to people, but I just want to say, like- thank you so much for bringing back the show. And like, without you my life would be so different.)
- How old were you when it came back in 2005? - Honestly, four. - Four? Did you watch it then? I was watching it at four.
- (I started watching it, like, in the middle of- Well, I was kind of forced into watching it-)
(INAUDIBLE) - (Hey, dear.) - He's in Casualty.
- Anyway, no, thank you for saying that. It's much appreciated. - (I've made so many friends through the show, and without you, it wouldn't have happened and it's changed my life.)
- Aw, you'd have found something like that anyway. Thank you for saying that, though.
- (I've just-!) - What the hell, Joey? - (I've just poured my heart out to Russell T Davies!) - What do you mean?
- Hey girl, hey! - (Hey!) - Look at the Doctors!
- Have you heard the news? - The news about Russell being in the Bay? - Yeah! - (I've met him, have you met him? Did you see him?)
- Yeah, I got a picture with him. - (Ah, I got a picture with him! Did you guys see Russell?)
(SCREAMING) - Yes! - (I saw him earlier.) - I did, I just said I'm with my gay icon.
- (Your gay icon?) - I'm a John Barrowman away from dying happy.
- (We'll book in- what room are you guys? So we can come visit you?) - 320. - 320? Alright, we'll be knocking on your door in a minute.
- We're staying in a hotel, two Masters- the Master Suite. - The Master Suite!
(MUFFLED) - (There's someone at the door.) - It's me.
- Oh, hello. - Hello. - (Hello.) - (Didn't expect to see me-)
- (You've got a tiny room. We've got a massive room if you want to come to ours.)
- (That cosplay is so easy to turn into, like, another episode. It's just a different tie- from all your ties.) - I know, it's like- now, I'm the Eleventh Doctor.
- (Have you got the- you've got the Dreamland tie.) - I know! It's actually an Armani tie, which makes it the closest thing you can ever get to a real Dreamland- it's a red Armania tie, with- - Apart from the fact- you're not animated!
- Ah, who told you that? Because your information is wrong!
- (We should probably go and sort out our room, you're all welcome any time.)
- Hello! - (Hi.)
- (Hang on, how many people are staying in this room?) - Four.
- (Bear in mind, me and Tom have got four beds and two people, so if anyone-)
- Let me see your room. - Actually, actually- - (Me and Bronte need a bed.) - Yeah we need a bed. - (Me and Bronte need a bed.)
- (What?) - Feel it. Feel it! Feel it! - (Stop talking about your muscles, I know you go to the gym now.)
- Are we talking the lift? - (Unless it drops.) - Ah, fun times, eh? We can only wish!
- (Just, the Twelfth Doctor-) - "We can only hope."
- Has anyone got a mirror? - (Look, there's your mirror.) [TOM SINGS SPONGEBOB]
- Hiya loves. - (Hello.) - (Oh my god, I'm moving in.) - (Can we come and stay?)
- (We've established that we've got the biggest room out of everyone. I haven't said you all can come and stay.) - I'm not staying, I've got a bed.
- What are you- from the Matrix? - (Yeah.)
- (Hang on, turn the light on so we can see you.)
- (You look a lot more 'hence' that I do in it.)
- (You dropped a Travelodge mug out the window.) - Yeah. - (Yeah.)
- Travelodge, if you're watching this- - (One of these mugs?) - I'm sure they don't cost much in IKEA, I mean-
- (Your eyeliner Tom, it looks like when a girl's been crying.) - It's not coming off.
- Just start talking, like, just start apologising-
- I'm sorry Mister Master, I'm sorry. [THE 'HOOD' MASTER IMPRESSION] - Do you know what? I appreciate your apology, it means a lot. It means an awful lot to me.
- But, you see, if I don't set examples- then what are we going to do?
- Do you see what I'm saying? Do you see what I'm saying, Joey?
- This ain't the bit I'm looking for. - (It's okay, you've just got to keep following me for like, a minute.)
- Do you know what? I'll let it go. - (Will you actually? That doesn't seem like you, Mister Master.)
- (-just start's running-) - What? What?! What?!
- It just ends. - (All in The Mind. Keep the eyeliner on for going out.) - No.
- (What is going on?)
- (Just going to go and look for Beth, you know.) - She's downstairs. Room 302. - (With Phoebe? 302? Is it 302?) - 320. - (320.)
- (Hold the door!) - (There they are.) - (The taxi's here, but hang on-)
- Fancy seeing you lot here. - (Where the fuck have you lot been?)
- Greyfriars Street. Greyfriars Street.
- Hey Joey! We love you. - We love you, Joey!
- So Joey's room is on the quiet floor of our hotel, and they were having pre-drinks in it- - (It's my room.) - Joey you're hot. Oh wait, no he's young, no. Joey, I love you.
- I want to be your brother. Let me be your brother. I want to be 'Tom Woodcock'.
- That's going to be my downfall.
- Beth, it's your birthday. - It's your birthday! (CHEERING)
[MARIAH CAREY - ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU]
- Sutton!
- (We're being vlogged.)
- (You've lost your strike streak!) - Couldn't strike three times-
- (They've broken it.)
- (Hello, Phoebe Britnell.) - Hello. I came from- Ooh! - (Oh, thank you!)
- (I don't know where that came from but I'll have it anyway.)
- (Are you enjoying bowling, Phoebe Britnell?) - I love bowling. So much. - (I can tell, you're very 'into it'.) - Oh yeah!
- (Bye James. Bye Bronte.) - What are you doing? Are you going home. Film this intimate moment.
(PHOEBE LAUGHING)
- That was awful!
- Watch me get a spare now.
- (Nearly, you nearly had it.) - Nearly.
- (Oh my god.) - It's either all or nothing, really, isn't it?
- It's a set up for disaster. - (You look so sad there.) - I am so sad.
- (All or nothing, it really is.) - (It really is.) - I'm going to redeem myself. - (Oh wait, oh no he is, the bastard.)
- (Oh!) - More like it!
- (You got a strike and it was off camera so that means that it's not-) - Pics or it didn't happen. - (It didn't happen.)
- (I missed it again. Two strikes!)
- (Lies.) - Yes!
- (Hey Leah.) - Hey. - (Hey. Little Tom Pennock behind you there.)
- (I've switched sides. I've come to the dark side.) - That was very shit.
- (There he goes.)
- Let's not talk about this.
- (Go on, Leah!)
- (How are you on 111?)
- (One pin left, and we're nearly at the end of the game. Come on, 'doctorwhocollector' on Instagram.)
- Look at the way he goes- he's got the ball, like, here- - (This is how professionals do it.)
- (Who broke that?)
- (What have you done?)
- Chuck another one down the gutter- - (Yeah, chuck them all down.) - I'll give it a try. - (Try it.)
(I suggest we run. I can't believe you've broken- what is this place called?) - Hollywood Bowl. - (Hollywood Bowl Cardiff.) - (We've broken Cardiff.)
- (It just kind of came back on, so I'll take that is- well, it's a result, though-)
- (On the very last one of the whole game I'm going to get a strike.)
- (The last chance.) - Oh, come on Leah!
- It doesn't matter where you aim it, as long as you just- throw it!
- (Are you leaving?) - MCM October, yeah? - Yeah. - (The one and the only, Thomas Dunn.)
- Yes!
- (Aw, we're done.) - Quick, I want to get over there!
- (We're done, the weekend is done.) - Is it? - (We're heading to the train station now.) - Are we? - (Yes we are.)
- (There goes Kai, rest in peace. Oh, Leah's going as well.)
- (Bye, Ben.) - Oh, see you mate. I'll literally see you in a minute. - (Yeah, I won't shake your hand.)
- (The brolley. Alright, come on, let's walk!)
- Hold on, now you're recording, oh no.
- Do you mind? - (Look at you two!) - Oh, is he filming? - Yes. Yes. - (Aw, cute couple.)
- (Yeah, lets just walk ahead.)
- (Bye, Tom!)
- (Aw.) - Eurgh!
- Right, shall we get on this one here? - (Yeah, lets.)
- (We're at Newport. Goodbye Leah, goodbye Phoebe.) - Bye! Don't forget that! - (The parting of the ways.)
- Fucking- fucking hell. Allons-
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