Hey girls! Tiffany Dawn here and welcome
back for another week of Tuesday Girl
Talk about everything girl related! And
today it's beauty, body image, and
insecurity. So I actually have my
friend Esther coming back to join me. You
girls met her a few weeks ago and let me
have her introduce yourself to you. Hi
guys my name is Esther. Me and my husband
have a YouTube channel called Mat & Est,
where we film all sorts of faith-based
videos. She and her husband Matt do like
awesome videos together and they're
hysterical and really good so check them
out.
So today Esther and I are each going to
give you three really practical tips
that we use in our own lives to help
when we're feeling insecure. So comment
below: What other tips do you use to help?
And give this video a thumbs up if you
like it, and hit subscribe if you
haven't already, and stay to the end of
the video to hear where in Europe my
husband and I are today!
I think we all have those days when we
feel just really crappy about ourselves.
I know I've had many days when I'm like, I
hate my hair, I hate my face, I hate my
body, I hate my personality -- but on those
days when I feel insecure, I run as fast
as I can to Psalm 139. And what I do is
just read it out loud and pray it back
to God. Let me give you an example. So
Psalm 139:1-2 says, "You have
searched me Lord and you know me. You
know when I sit and when I rise. You
perceive my thoughts from afar." And I
will just read that out loud and then
pray like, "God you are such an intimate
Creator. You know me and you love me and
I'm seen by you, like I'm not invisible
to you." And I will just go through the
entire psalm that way. And it just lets
me know like, yes I may feel insecure, but
I am seen, I am known, and I am loved by my Father God.
Be Christ focused instead of self focused. I think what
happens when, or at least what happened
in my case, when I wasn't feeling like
enough, is that I would just analyze
myself. And I'd look at my looks and
I'd compare it to the media and compare it to
the people I know. I'd look at my
personality -- was I loud enough, was
I too quiet, did I like reading too much,
should I like you know sports and being
good at that sort of thing? And I'd just
compare my personality; I'd compare who I
was. And I think what can happen is that
people can gather around us and
they can really try and help us see our
worth by saying things like, "You know you
are beautiful, you are funny." And while
that isn't a bad thing, and you should
all know that God loves you completely
and God values you so much, all those
things do is make you think about
yourself again. You start thinking, "Well
is that true what they're saying?" My tip
is just that if you are focused on Jesus,
and if you are focused on bringing His
kingdom to earth and having His
attributes and His
personality in your life, that will
really limit the time that you spend
thinking about yourself and about
analyzing yourself. And even though these
things will be there, they're not first
position in your thoughts. You have
to make Jesus the first thought in your mind.
Back in college I was getting ready
to go to this dinner party, and I was so
nervous. I was like, "Everybody there is
gonna judge me; they're gonna be like
she's not pretty enough, she's not nice
enough." And I was talking to my mentor
about this and she said something that
like changed my life forever.
She was like, "When you go to this party,
don't focus on how you feel about
yourself. Instead focuse on how you can
make the other people there feel loved,
cause a lot of them are gonna be feeling
insecure too, so see how you can make
them feel comfortable." And girls like it
worked; it was like magic! It was like
when I stopped focusing on myself and on
my insecurities and started focusing on
somebody else, I felt more confident! It
was so weird because it was like I just
wasn't paying attention to my
insecurities and so I kind of forgot
about them. And I had a great time at the
party and I made a lot more friends than
I would have because I was able to just
love people, and people want to be loved.
So when you're feeling insecure like
going into a social situation, just focus
on loving the other people there. You'll
actually gain more friends and feel
better about yourself in the process.
Make sure that you surround yourself
with people who are encouraging, who
aren't going to tear you down. Because I
think if you're feeling like you're not
enough, one of the things I found really
hard was when someone would say
something like, "Oh that wasn't
very funny," or, "why have you got your hair
like that?" or "why are you wearing that?" If
you surround yourself with people who
aren't very nice and who just criticize
you and criticize who you are, then that
really hinders you being able to feel
that you are enough. What you need to do is
surround yourself with people who are
loving and who love God and who really
want the best for you. And I know that
can be hard because sometimes the people
in our lives that might discourage us
might be parents or siblings or people
like that, but make sure you have others
in your life who do love you and do
encourage you in the right way. And the best
way to do that I would say is go and
find a church family who really want the
best for you and will really kind of
draw you into that community and look after you and love you.
When I was in college I
got to study abroad in Australia. And I
loved my time there, but the whole time I
was there I had my passport with me, and
it reminded me that I came from America
and I was going back to America in four
months. Ultimately it didn't really
matter what the people in Australia
thought of me, because I wasn't from
there. It wasn't my forever home. And in
the same way we need that passport, which
in one sense is our Bible, that just
reminds us like: I came from God when He
made me in my mother's womb, and at the
end of my life, I'm going back to spend
eternity with God. And really this life
is like studying abroad. It's short, it's
beautiful, it's full of purpose, and yet
it's not my forever home. Because when I
feel insecure, it's because I'm worried
about what people think of me here in
this world. And so make yourself a
passport, like a visual reminder that
says: Oh right, this world isn't my home.
I've often written Scripture verses on
index cards and just put them in my
purse,
or I'd write a scripture on my hand. My
cousin like put Scripture verses all
over her mirror, so first thing in the
morning when she looks in the mirror she
sees who she is in Christ. So make a
visual reminder and that will put this
life in perspective.
And my third top tip for when you don't
feel like you're enough, is try and pinpoint
what is making you specifically feel
that way. Is it the media? Is it the sort
of films that you're watching? Is it the
magazines that you're reading? Is it
the friends that you are hanging around?
Is it a guy that you're with that is
making you feel like you are not enough?
Try and pinpoint what exactly it is and
then take steps to try and overcome that.
So if it means cutting off a
relationship that isn't good for you -- if
it's a guy and he is making you feel
like you aren't worth anything, then you
might need to cut that relationship out
of your life. And think about that and
pray about that and take those steps. If
it's that you're watching a certain film
or certain TV show or you're reading
certain magazines and you're looking at
those people in the media and you're
kind of thinking, "Oh I can never be good
enough or I can never look like that,"
well first of all, remember the, you know,
the makeup and editing -- all of that stuff,
you know. They have a lot of things done
to them to make them look like that. But
second of all, just kind of cut that out
if that is something that is really
eating away at you, because it's just not
worth it. And I think just in general,
just make sure that you are just praying
about it and just asking God like, "God,
help me to see myself the way that you
you see me." The thing is, there's a
problem in our society today that a lot
of people don't feel like they are enough.
And that is just a complete lie,
because God made you, God sent Jesus to
die for you because He loves you so much,
and God wants to know you; He wants a
relationship with you. So these thoughts
of, "I don't feel like I'm enough" -- that is
a lie and it is not true. And so just
really take that to God and say, "God I
want to see myself how you see me."
So girls thank you for being here with me
today, and thank you so much to Esther
for sharing! Definitely check out her
channel -- the link is in the description
below. And comment below, like: What helps
you when you're feeling insecure? Because
I would love to hear your ideas and
steal them for myself. And where we are
in Europe today! James and I are actually
in Dubrovnik, Croatia today. Follow on my
Instagram at TiffanyDawnIQB if you
want to see pictures, because I'm sure
it's gonna be gorgeous and amazing!
I'll see you on Friday. Love you girls! Bye.
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