I want to talk to you about how to deal with the jealous boyfriend or date oh
that's not a good topic hi ladies Jaki Sabourin here your executive love
coach and CEO of engaged in any age a company that helps women deliberately
date and consciously create the man of their dreams as you know I met married
my own soulmate match husband Michael after being single for eight years I'm
telling the honeymoon and excited about helping you get engaged at any age and
believe me it can happen it's happening all summer long it's like popcorn pop
pop pop so many of my clients are getting engaged I'm really excited about
continuing to make these amazing videos that you're learning from because I'm
getting a lot of feedback you're really taking to heart what I'm teaching you
and you're applying it and you're seeing results so yay for you and it's not fun
when you're dealing with a jealous boyfriend or date and so ladies make
sure you stay to the very end because I have something free to give you and I
have an announcement to make I want to share something with you and make sure
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miss an episode okay let's talk about how to deal with
jealous dates or boyfriends like I said uh not fun not my favorite topic and
here's why jealousy is really really ugly and it
can really contaminate a relationship and ruin a relationship and so gel
jealousy is really stemmed from insecurity right I mean we've all been
insecure at times in our life and jealousy is one of those things where we
are really in victim mode and we feel like everybody has something that that
that we can't have or or jealous people might feel like you've got all the
brakes or you're you're the lucky one or or things just fall into your
as if you haven't worked for them or even people that things do fall into
their laps oh you know you don't deserve that
and so jealousy is just really ugly as you can hear me saying it and it's a
it's a combination of possessiveness I'm suspicion rage humiliation insecurity
and it's it's a really bad combination so I really want you to have a high
alert on men that behave jealousy you don't want to be in a relationship with
a man that is becoming jealous or date a man that show us because it's not gonna
end well for you so I really recommend that you vote with your feet when you
start to encounter any kind of possessiveness jealousness
you know in another way that can happen is they start to humiliate you they
start to say things like you know when they're jealous of you they'll say
things like you know oh go ahead and go ahead and cry you know go ahead I know
you're just gonna cry about it better they start to belittle you a
little and it's really confusing because you're like wait a minute there's this
great guy then all the Sydney's saying things that are they don't feel good and
maybe I misheard him you start to doubt yourself what happens when you're with a
jealous person if you stay with him you start to doubt yourself and you become
really insecure insecure you shirt to pretzel yourself and trying to please
him we're trying to assure him you know that everything's okay that you're not
cheating you're not looking at other men you're not that success so you sure to
dim your own light and in order to make him feel better and that is so
dysfunctional and it's and it's not okay and you don't want it to be doing that
so if you find your that you're doing that you're you you you see fill that
impulse you really need to be aware of it it's a huge red flag and it could
lead to something that escalates into maybe even violence and so you know I'm
not a therapist you know I'm I'm very clear about that
I'm a coach and I want to be a coach so that I can share with you all of my
experiences and I can share with you some of my client experiences because
I'm a coach I'm here to help you doubt these emotional blocks that you
have and so let's go back to talking about jealousy a jealous boyfriend so if
he is asking you about where have you been
what you've been doing and who you've been doing it with he's already
experiencing a little jealousy a little insecurity dirty doubting you
if you thought I find yourself over-explaining that's a sign that
you're dealing with somebody who's insecure who's jealous
so over-explaining would be the first flag that I would say that's flying that
you need to be on the alert another thing is comparison a second thing is
comparing so he might be comparing you know what you have versus what he has
and that would be a sign that he's starting to feel a little threatened
maybe you have a nicer car than he does maybe you get paid more money but that's
not a problem for you but it's a problem for him and he's starting to make snide
remarks about your your handbag or your trip that you went on oh that's easy for
you you know and then that's the sign of jealousy when somebody says it's it's
really abusive it's kind of like bullying to make you feel bad about what
you've worked hard to get or they get whatever you have and it's nothing that
you should feel bad about you deserve to have everything you have and he's just
feeling insecure and you can spend a little bit of time reassuring him but I
wouldn't spend too much time because it tells you about his character it's not
your job to make him feel secure it's his job to make him feel secure so if
he's showing signs of insecurity and jealousy you got to be really careful
and so another sign there's something that he might do is to maybe even if
you're dating him he might be rifling through your things when you're not in
the room if you ever see that happening looking at your emails or checking out
your purse or looking at things in your car stuff like that I mean that's
extreme but if you see that happening it's really demeaning to him that he's
doing that I mean if you're doing that it's demeaning
you're demeaning yourself by by taking those action steps if you are jealous or
if your boyfriend is jealous and that's going on you need to really look at the
relationship the relationship has problems and that's
something you have to address if you're feeling suspicious or if your boyfriend
or date is suspicious of you there's a problem there and it's something much
deeper than what's showing up on the surface and so you either need to get
some help from some outside help or recommend it to the man your scenes or
what I would like to say is vote with your feet vote with your feet and leave
the relationship before it escalates and it becomes out of control because
jealousy is and like I said it's a very sickening combination of things that can
happen that can make you feel really bad about yourself and you don't want to
align yourself with the man that's jealous they are they're very
controlling they don't trust you and you can never you can never prove that
you're that you didn't do it because they're never gonna believe you because
they don't believe something about themselves it's not your fault you
didn't create this but you may be experiencing it now and so I don't
recommend hanging out in relationships where there's jealousy I mean Envy is a
natural human emotion that we all have we all can be envious from time to time
and envy is there to serve a valuable purpose to you it lets you know that
there's something that you want that you can get if you're willing to do the work
to have it so don't feel bad if you feel envious that's okay you know if your
friend got a new car and you're little envious just remind yourself wait a
minute this envy can serve a purpose it can remind me that I have the ability to
go out and maybe get a second job or get a new job or take out a loan or
refinance something and buy myself a new car I don't need to be jealous of my
friend so it's okay to have a little bit of envy it's a normal emotion but when
it goes to jealousy and jealousy is like the extreme of envy it's saying that I
don't believe that I can have it and so I'm just going to sit here and
you know resent others for having something that I'm not willing to do the
work to get and that's the bottom line as far as I can see it and it just
really stems from a deep-seated insecurity and so if you're really
interested in this man and he's open to exploring a discussion about it and you
can talk about you know what's coming up for him and maybe he had somebody that
cheated on him in the past and what you'll have to do is ask him to make
peace with that because as long as he's holding on to those feelings of jealousy
and fear about you cheating he's gonna project that onto your relationship and
you really don't have a chance if your man's afraid that you're gonna cheat
because it's kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy you probably will end up
believing the relationship and thus it comes true that you end up going and
being with somebody else because you can't handle his jealousy and
insecurities about cheating and so make sure you don't own that behavior if it's
if it's your behavior own it heal it address it address your insecurities and
if it's his behavior don't own it other people's feeling needs and wants or just
that their their needs feelings and wants you can respect them but you don't
have to own them so give yourself permission to only own your feelings and
make sure you address your feelings if they're coming up you're feeling a
little jealous that's yourself what am I feeling you know what am I feeling why
am I feeling this what is it about what is it anchored to take time to get
behind your triggers and notice where they're stemming from so that you can
heal them so that you don't attract a similar energy because remember likes
attract likes and if you continue on that path you're going to end up
attracting somebody with a similar energy to give you an opportunity to
heal what what you are going through what you've experienced in the past and
in the past and maybe you don't want to spend time doing that so take the short
path identify jealousy right away see it for what it is it's an insecurity in
someone else don't compare yourself don't compete just talk to him about it
or vote with your feet and leave the relationship and move on there's so many
millions then in the world you do not need that
you need emotionally mature highly functional man because that's what you
are you're showing up is emotionally mature highly functional woman you
deserve a man that is secure in who he is and is not not watching over your
shoulder every little thing that you're doing everything you're saying on the
phone because that's going to just lead to a really unhealthy relationship so
okay ladies here's my free gift for you it's my soul mate assessment I want you
to go to soul mate IQ right now and take my quick quiz it's an assessment that's
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this is the only way you can work with me right now I have a lot of people on a
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here and get yours and get your your question
answered in a timely basis by my team of love coaches coaches that is there to
support you ok ladies thank you for joining me for one another one of my
episodes that I'm just sending you so much love okay I'm sending you so much
love today thank you for being here bye
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