Is your life a solid, unbreakable mug?
Or more like a leaking coffee cup?
If it's the latter,
then there's a great chance it's keeping you stuck,
drained or exhausted with life.
The great news is, you're here! So...
be sure to stay tuned to this episode,
episode #2
of the Create A Depression-Free Life show
as I share four simple remedies.
# Music
Hi, and welcome back to the Show.
I'm your host, Marie O'Neil
Transformational Life Coach and Author of
How To Create A Depression-Free Life.
Now, take a moment to imagine
you've just purchased a
takeaway cup of coffee (or tea if you prefer)
see yourself holding it, between your hands.
It's very hot.
So, you must be careful.
steam is streaming, through the small opening on the lid.
Now, after you take your first sip
you feel the comforting warmth enter your body
and you start feeling recharged.
However, the moment you take your second sip,
you feel something is a bit wrong, a bit off
the cup feels strangely light.
Now, as you look down you see that holes have appeared
in all sides of your takeaway cup, and
the liquid is leaking out in all directions
there are too many holes to stop the leak
so your once comforting and warm experience
has rapidly turned into, a very wet experience
where you're left standing with a soggy
albeit, very expensive, cardboard coffee cup.
and some very wet shoes!
Now, those holes that appeared within your cup
can be likened to, your power being lost
drained away from yourself.
You see,
every time we look backwards,
dwell on regret,
follow others to gain acceptance or approval,
cast blame - whether that's towards ourselves or others
play the victim card,
carry unresolved shame or guilt,
or even, when we simply say yes....
when we really want to say no
all these very common scenarios, weaken us, they drain us
of all our strength and power
and just like the empty shell of that very soggy coffee cup
we will be left completely empty and drained of all our life energy.
So, what's the solution?
How do we reinforce ourselves? Where,
we become less-like the cardboard cup, and more like a
diamond encrusted, A-grade impenetrable cup?
And more importantly,
how do we protect ourselves, without closing our heart
down and becoming cold and unfeeling?
Well, the first step
is, we need to accept responsibility
After all,
it is us, who
whether knowingly or unknowingly
allows ourselves to be drained by, the external world around us.
The great news is:
If WE allow it...
Then, WE have the ultimate control
and can stop it.
But, the question is how?
Well, in all honesty,
there are endless ways to plug up the holes
and it's very dependent upon our very personal life circumstances,
but let me run through 4
of the most common solutions with you, right now.
Number one, is:
we need to be honest, with ourselves and others.
You see, every time we're untrue, we weaken ourselves
we bury our own voice, and we kind of lose a part of ourselves
and we need to realise that our strength and courage
within our life, comes from standing within our OWN truth.
Nobody else's
So, next time you want to speak up or say no to something...
Do it.
Respect yourself and embrace what feels right for you,
without fear and without the need of guilt.
This is YOUR life to live,
and YOU are solely responsible for the choices that you make.
Start living by the adage, that
What FEELS RIGHT for you – is right.
and what FEELS WRONG for you – is wrong.
Simple.
The great news is, the moment we do this...
The moment we shift inwards and begin to FEEL...
what's right and wrong for us on a very personal and intimate level
and we follow these indicators...
we plug up one of the drainage holes within our coffee cup
Simply, because we're pulling the power back into ourselves.
Number 2
Is to stop the blame game.
Yes! Others maybe the biggest...
A**holes that have ever walked the earth
they may have done great injustices to us, or
wronged us, or our families in some way.
But, ask yourself...
Are you willing to tie long ropes to various parts of your body
and then pass, the end of these ropes to those very same people
giving them the power to
pull on those ropes at whim, whenever they desire?
Like you're a marionette doll to be played with
No, I bet you wouldn't do that. I bet you don't like the idea of that.
But, the unfortunate truth is, many of us
are putting ourselves, in this exact same position
on a daily basis
We're unknowingly handing off our power,
our health, our mind, our life force energy - to others
every time we play the blame game.
So, ask yourself....
If you have a cup full of energy
let's call it your Cup of Life
Do you wish to give it to others to use at their whim?
Even others, who have done you wrong in the past?
Or would you prefer, to keep this
precious Cup of Life for yourself?
precious Cup of Life for yourself?
So, you can use it to create
something magical within your OWN life?
Now, these are the only two choices
that we ALL have.
1. Do we hand our life,
or our life energy over to others,
for them to use?
2. Or do we use our life and our energy,
for us? And in a way, that we desire?
So, from today...
If you wish to plug up
another one of those holes
in your Cup of Life
If you wish to plug up one of those holes in your Cup of Life
then, instead of throwing your energy outwards
on blame or anger
and draining
your Cup of Life,
start bringing your energy,
your attention, INWARDS
start bringing your energy, your attention, INWARDS
and start focussing
on what you learnt...
and start focussing on what you learnt...
from specific people,
or, from specific situations.
What did they bring
into your life
that has HELPED you progress, in some way?
Start focussing on
what you WANT to create within your life
NOT what is currently upsetting you.
not what is currently upsetting you.
NOT what is currently upsetting you.
Remember, it's YOUR Cup of Life
You can use it however you wish.
My wish for you,
is that you learn to invest it wisely, within yourself
and start creating the life you so desire and deserve.
Now, the third quick-fix to reinforcing your Cup of Life
is to change HOW you worry.
Notice, I didn't say
stop worrying, because we all know that's
Notice, I didn't say stop worrying, because we all know that's
probably not going to happen, anyway.
After all,
it's a fact that we all worry,
at various times throughout our lives.
I mean, some people worry
infrequently. And others worry
constantly. I mean,
they even worry,
about the fact that - they're worrying.
about the fact that - they're worrying.
I mean, they even worry, about the fact that they're worrying.
So for me, to advise anyone not to worry...
Is pretty useless advice!
So, what's the solution then?
Well, it's simple really.
In fact, there's only 2 steps.
Well, it's simple really. In fact, there's only 2 steps.
The first step is to drop anything....
that's not yours to worry about
By this I mean,
anything that you cannot directly affect or
implement a solution for.
anything that you cannot directly affect or implement a solution for.
For example;
If my sister or friend is having arguments with their boyfriend
Why do I need to worry?
Yes!
It may be sad if...
they're going through difficulties, or even that they break up
But, there's absolutely nothing...
I can personally do to affect the outcome
this is THEI life path.
Not mine.
The key to remember here, is
The key to remember here is that
that it's perfectly natural
and okay for us to support others
that's what life is all about.
that's what life is all about
However, we must not carry their luggage for them
throughout the journey.
throughout the journey.
We must also give
the correct bag, to its rightful owner
for them to carry, in THEIR journey of life.
for them to carry, in THEIR journey of life.
Now, after I've off-loaded all the baggage that isn't mine,
what's left?
Well...
Well...
these are my personal responsibilities,
on my own life path.
these are my personal responsibilities, on my own life path
these are the things that we've
chosen to take on board, or
we could say, this is the stuff, that
We, are allowed to worry about.
are allowed to worry about.
But, at the end of the day...
we all know that worrying gets us nowhere
All it does, is create
MORE stress inside of us.
We become anxious or depressed,
about the thought of
multiple scenarios happening, which
never usually come to fruition. And we,
rapidly diminish our health
and peace of mind. We know this!
But yet, we still worry.
So, what do we do? What's the solution?
After all,
if we know that worrying
causes us nothing, but grief
and harm to our internal system
and we STILL
stubbornly, go ahead and worry anyway
and we STILL stubbornly, go ahead and worry anyway
what is the solution?
Well, starting from today, for the next 7 days...
that's one measly week out of your entire life
I want you to commit to "worrying"
Because, let's be honest
you're gonna do it anyway right?
But, here's the catch...
But, here's the catch...
You must "worry"
and constantly visualise
about, everything GOING RIGHT for you.
Yep! Instead of "worrying" about all the morbid scenarios,
I want you to "worry" about all the grand scenarios,
"worry" about what COULD go right (instead of what 'could' go wrong)
For example;
Let's say, that our mind starts with the ...
Let's say, that our mind starts with the ...
"Oh, what's the point?"
"I'm just gonna fail anyway!"
"oh, what's the point? I'm just going to fail anyway!"
Rapidly change that to ...
"What if I succeed?"
"How awesome would my life be then?"
And imagine ALL the things turning out
to your advantage.
So, for the next seven days
Commit to do, what we all naturally do anyway.
Commit to do, what we all naturally do anyway...
Worry. But give it a twist.
By "worrying" about all the favourable outcomes.
Constantly see, the scenarios within
your mind's eye,
working out, in your favour.
Plug up another hole in
that coffee cup by INVESTING your energy
in imagining everything going right,
rather than, exhausting your energies
by being concerned about
external events
that are never going to come to fruition.
Now, let's check out for the fourth
and final quick-fix
to reinforcing your Cup of Life.
to reinforcing your Cup of Life.
Now, I'm betting on the fact
that you've experienced those people within your life,
who are simply 'Takers'.
You know how it goes, right?
You give - they take, without any remorse or guilt.
And the more you give, the more they're willing to take.
It's very easy to identify these people within our lives
because they leave us feeling drained and exhausted.
We're quite literally holding our Cup of Life
over top of theirs,
willingly punching holes in it,
and allowing our tea or coffee to RE-FILL
their cup on a regular basis.
and allowing our tea or coffee to refill their cup on a regular basis
Which is great for them.
But, not so great for us.
So, what's the solution?
Well, firstly, we must identify these people within our lives
and once identified, we have a choice to make.
We either, cut them completely out of our lives completely.
Now, if that makes you feel uncomfortable
I want you to ask yourself...
Do they bring anything to your life?
Or, do they just simply take?
Do they uplift you, or constantly drain you?
Now, only you'll know the answers to these questions.
Of course, it's not always possible
to cut someone out of our lives completely. After all,
we may be related, or we may have to work with them daily
If this is the case,
we need to simply REDUCE our exposure to them,
as much as possible
and establish firm personal boundaries.
Now, boundaries are just a way of
showing others, what's okay and what's not.
Or, what's acceptable to us, and
and what's unacceptable.
As the saying goes: People will treat us,
how we allow them to treat us. So,
if you're not okay with how others treat you
Say so.
If you're not okay with a certain behaviour or treatment
let others know in a calm and compassionate way.
Now, this can easily be communicated in various ways
For instance, we can keep it as simple as...
"That behaviour is not okay with me"
Just say it. Straight like that.
Or, we can start to be a little more elaborate, by saying....
"Look, when you treat me like that,
it makes me feel like you don't listen to me,
or you don't respect me,
and I'm not okay with that"
Now, when we communicate how we honestly feel to others
or what's acceptable or not acceptable to us,
we're not only,
plugging up all those leaky holes in our Cup of Life
but we're also doing a great service,
because we're allowing the other person to learn (via us)
what their actions or behaviours demonstrate to others.
We should all be aware,
that we're not always aware
of how are actions are seen by others,
or how they affect others in different ways. And since,
everybody is an individual,
it's great to be told what another does,
or, doesn't feel comfortable with.
This is how, we naturally establish boundaries,
within every relationship.
So, don't be afraid to
establish these personal boundaries.
Especially, round those pushy,
over-domineering people
who will do their level best
to keep breaking your boundaries down, and
pushing past them.
to keep breaking your boundaries down and pushing past them.
In fact,
You can see those people,
as the ones hoping to hold their Cup of Life, beneath yours
draining your energy, to re-fill theirs.
So, from today, always remember...
We have all been given a precious Cup of Life
and it's for us to decide whether..... We spend it,
or invest it.
We can choose to fritter it away
on anything or anyone at whim.
Allowing ourselves to be drained,
just like the holey coffee cup.
Or we can, invest it wisely,
allowing it to be used only on
select people or circumstances, which
continue to re-fill our Cup of Life,
not exhaust it.
continue to re-fill our Cup of Life, not exhaust it.
Now, I hope you enjoyed today's show
if you did, please review it
or share this show with someone you know and love
And, if you have any questions, that
you'd like answered on this show
you'd like access to the transcript for this episode
or you'd like to download a free sample of the book
How To Create A Depression-Free Life
then, simply visit my website:
CreateADepressionFreeLife.com
and you'll find all the links you need on there.
and you'll find all the links you need on there.
Until next week, remember
you're amazing, just the way you are
and nobody can take your place!
Much love, big hugs, bye for now. x
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