Greetings from the Internet!
What happened to episode 6 you may ask? Doesn't
matter, okay? Don't talk about it, okay? We
don't know who's listening. We're back!
Where were you? everyone was asking where you
were. Shut up, it doesn't even matter. We're
back and we're here to stay! This is the
top ten things that happened on the
internet last week. Let's get some
Internet. *upbeat music*
Number ten! Another superhero movie is
coming out. No doubt the trailer is
way better than the movie and it's
lighting up YouTube as we speak. How many
superheroes do we have? Shouldn't we
covered them all by now? Nope! Aquaman! And, phew,
we needed a remake. Look at this fella!
That's the old Aquaman there... A man who has
the ability to breathe underwater and
command sealife to his will decides to
ride flying fish above the water. Yeaaaaaaa no.
You know what we need right now?
Hey man, I identify as a heterosexual
male, okay, but if that dude saved me from
a particularly aggressive shore break,
I'll tell you what, I'd fold like an origami
crane. Jason Momoa is as manly as shaving
with a sword while drinking whiskey,
with a sword while drinking whiskey,
it while you're at it. Hype train away! Let's
get to this movie. All aboard! You can see
get to this movie. All aboard! You can see
at the end.
weird sort, right? Australia is ranked
Number nine! Australians are a
in the world. That's if you don't count
all the nature trying to kill you every
second of every day. Some of the
all the nature trying to kill you every
Australians have scarily named the 'brown
snake' - to spiders so big they can carry
Australians have scarily named the 'brown
adventure, and politicians that are
deadly to refugees... Hey, why not throw in
a cyclone! And let's name it an ex-wife's
name. Cyclone Debbie hit northern
Queensland this week and caused an army
name. Cyclone Debbie hit northern
reporting. We know it rains during
the cyclone. Go inside. It's a cyclone.
It's raining. But the Australian public
are Australian, so they don't give a shit
about a force of nature. Social media was
are Australian, so they don't give a shit
Debbie. Ah, Australia, the land where human
beings say, 'F!&* nature!' I don't even think
that's about the cyclone. I just think
it's one of their ex-wives that they're
like, 'Don't come home, Debbie.' If it's not an
it's one of their ex-wives that they're
South African sharks
or them punching their own national
South African sharks
Australians just can't
seem to stop messing with nature.
Number eight! In this fail to win video doing
the internet rounds, it proves once again
Number eight! In this fail to win video doing
people. We know. They're even cooler at
falling off a skateboard. White people
falling off a skateboard...
...and black people falling off a skateboard...
anything! What about colonialism?
Number seven! We trust modern-day
conveniences way too much, okay? The
humble escalator can turn into a
slippery slide of broken bones...
This escalator malfunctioned in a
busy mall in Hong Kong, but, it may have
been intentional. Two mechanics have been
arrested while pending further investigation.
Number six! This YouTube
video compiled by massive Star Wars fan
is going viral. It speaks for itself.
I didn't know there was this much green in
video compiled by massive Star Wars fan
We decided to make one ourselves.
I didn't know the re was this much green in
the whole galaxy.
*The Next Episode - Dr. Dre, ft. Snoop Dogg*
Number five! This picture is going viral. It's a
picture of Olga Lozina, a graduate of
the Physical Technical Institute, which
checks out, because technically she was
physically handled by the institute. In
Russia this past week, her and about a
checks out, because technically she was
indefinitely for anti-government protests.
In the age of the Internet, I believe we
thousand other protesters were detained
indefinitely for anti-government protests.
dissidents without someone filming it and
making them a martyr. Dodgy politicians
they can quietly sneak away the
as long as we keep the Internet free and
for all.
trouble again! Aww. A developing story has
as long as we keep the Internet free and
advertising all over the world. I don't
see the problem - maybe we'll get to see
Youtube are in
first place, before we're bombarded with
offensive advertising. I am offended by
rampant consumerism. Who do we complain
to about this? Who is it, huh? You do
the content we wanted to see in the
these videos right now? Dude, shut up, okay?
Just how do you think we earn the
seventy-five cents that gets us to pay
for the visual effects, huh? Without that
you wouldn't exist. I thought you were
the visual effect? Sorry.
Sorry to break it to you. My whole life is a lie...
Companies like Verizon and Johnson &
for the visual effects, huh? Without that
owned by white guys have all canceled their
the visual effect? Sorry.
'brand safety.' Some of these brands have
survived scandals where their baby powder
Johnson and blah blah blah blah company
reports and not labeling the bottles. You
YouTube ad deals due to concerns about
'brand safety.' Some of these brands have
bits because a YouTuber said something?
They're still going to be frolicking
through clouds of talcum due to the ad
you shove in their faces on different
multimedia platforms. YouTube, due to
bits because a YouTuber said something?
They're still going to be frolicking
through clouds of talcum due to the ad
you shove in their faces on different
multimedia platforms. YouTube, due to
being bullied by these companies, has
started rolling out these monetization
blackouts on people's videos deemed
'brand unsafe.' And so the integrity of the
internet begins to be eroded. Great story,
bro. Now we're not going to get that
sweet Johnson & Johnson ad revenue. We'll
just have to rely on the support of our
viewers. Have you seen the viewer numbers
and subscriber count? Yes! We have no
viewers! Be still, my young padawan. Build it
and they will come. Kevin Costner, Field of Dreams.
Young padawan? I am the same age
as you. Yes, okay... Patreon coming soon, cuz we're not
advertiser friendly.
Number three!
An airline has not allowed some passengers
to come aboard wearing leggings and the
internet has dropped a collective shit.
Or is there more to this story? United
Airlines, in America - you know, because
that's where everything happens, barred
some young ladies from boarding a flight
who were scantily clad in some leggings.
Someone then tweeted that the airline
was discriminating against yoga pants
and the airline responded with, 'Dress
code issues.' Some actresses jumped on the
PR waves to score some internet points
while feigning disgust but wouldn't lift
a rice grain to a Syrian child's mouth
if it were more effort than a tweet.
Turns out the passengers were 'pass
riders' who were copping a free ride
from an affiliate family member or staff
member. So if you're getting one on the
company, you have to actually represent
that company in a positive light.
Apparently if you're wearing spandex
that's hugging your lady bits so tight
it's an anatomy lecture you're not
representing United Airlines adequately.
Soulless competitor
airline Delta Airlines went on Twitter and
was like, 'Hey, we accept leggings on our airline,'
but didn't tell you that they also have
an employee benefits dress code.
Ultimately we don't even give up a megabyte
here at InterTen. I don't see who is
complaining about leggings. Best
invention since the squat. Here on
InterTen, we believe every woman on the
planet should wear yoga pants and should
constantly bend down to pick up stuff.
Number two! You see, Australia? You see what
happens when you mess with nature? Now
people actually don't think you exist.
Swedish facebook user Shelley Floryd -
Swedish name - has written a think piece
about something that i have believed for
a very long time - Australia is not real!
It's a hoax! You know we're... you know
we're filming this in Brisbane, Australia
right now? Or are we? You're dumb.
Shelley says that this mythical land
is just a big hoax that the British
government had when they dumped all
those convicts into the sea all those
many years before the Internet existed.
So who cares? Well, a lot of people do
because as it was posted on Facebook, a
whole bunch of troglodytes have come out
of their caves and figured out how to
use their fat little stubby fingers to
smash a keyboard and send her all kinds
of hatred. Screaming in capitals, 'HOW
DARE SHE?!?' To Shelley's credit she doubled
down and posted some secret maps that
she acquired from somewhere showing that
Australia does not exist. I say she is
brave! A Snowden for the now. Does
Australia exist? We're in Australia! Okay,
then explain this thing! ... I can't. Exactly!
What the fuuuuu-? You're dumb!
Number one!
The best thing on the Internet this week!!!
Hi stranger.
This viral video was created by
animator Kirsten Laporee and features a
stop-motion plasticine figure with a
gorgeous pair of butt cheeks. It's
comforting and creepy all at the same
time. Using elements from ASMR videos
which use soothing tones and sounds to
comfort the viewer, it draws you in but
makes your skin crawl. Do you like this tree I made?
*whispers badly* Hey, how is everything? Is everything good?
Are you having a good day? That's great. I'm
thinking about you. I'm thinking about
you there, you on your mobile phone or on
your computer. Maybe... Maybe you're on a
train. Maybe you're in your car. Shouldn't be
in your car. Don't watch your videos while
you're in your car. You're gonna have an
accident. So, I just wanted to pop in and
tell you that everything's fine.
Have a great day.
Hey, that was episode seven!
We shall never speak of episode 6 ever
again. It is the Voldemort of InterTen
shows. The episode that shall not be
named. Thank you very much watching! You
know the drill - subscribe, like... or die! As
usual the top ten of everything we've
covered on the show today is in the
description below. Just click on that. You
can also go to these cards up here - Hey,
look at that! You can click on those and
go see all the videos.
You wanna see some previous videos?
They're all there. And please subscribe!
Hit that big ol' subscribe button, with your face.
Just smash the screen! Do it!
I dare you.
Goodbye!
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