Hello.
I don't know about you, but for me sketchbooks evoke very mixed feelings.
On one hand, I'm a little ashamed to look at them
and see the works on a level that, obviously, doesn't satisfy me anymore,
but on the other hand...
old sketchbooks have something in them.
For one, they're filled with memories.
Two, looking at my old artworks lets me understand
the journey I've travelled when it comes to my passion.
Not only passion, but also life.
Looking at the topics of the drawings that have changed throughout the years
and yet, somehow something stayed the same in them.
Looking at old art can bring memories
and let you see how you've journeyed and searched for your own self.
A lot of people ask me how my old works look,
so I decided to make this little tour of my old sketchbooks.
None of them are finished, but
they still have something in them and I think you'll enjoy watching this.
Let's go.
The first sketchbook comes from about 2011-2012 if I remember correctly.
This was my first, actually, "formal" sketchbook.
First... just the first actual sketchbook,
because earlier I've drawn in notebooks and sadly I don't know where they are
Cause it was either notebooks or loose sheets.
Aaaand I'd have to look for them more closely,
cause they're just... everywhere. :)
If I remember correctly, while drawing in this sketchbook I was...
in junior high, but I don't remember which year.
Second, maybe? Second, maybe third... I think second.
Anyway, back then I used to paint in watercolor a little.
Hmmm... it was the time in which...
in which I was going through depression, and I think you can kinda see it in these drawings.
Cause they are, kinda... well, I don't know how to describe that, but, but
I know they just look that way.
At least I see that.
Aaand... here, I've been using a lot of color, a lot of text,
these are mostly song lyrics I used to listen to back then.
Mostly... I've listened to metal a lot back then.
Hmm, back then, I think I drew traditionally, almost exclusively,
that's why there's a lot of watercolor here,
cause it used to be my favorite medium back then.
Although I didn't really know how to use it.
This sketchbook has my characters already, the ones I draw right now,
their beginnings at least.
There's a lot of various sketches...
The next sketchbook comes from, I think, 2012-2013.
Here, on the first page, there's a poem
written by Serj Tankian, who is one of my favorite musicians.
Still a lot of text, a lot of song lyrics,
More of my characters,
at this point they started having a new dimension if I can describe it that way.
Around back then, I started working on my novel a little
and because of that those characters started to change.
First newer designs here, they differ a lot from the current ones, but
it's fun to look at something like that.
Though! It's funny that his tags didn't change that much throughout the years,
cause it still has a similar design to this one here.
As you can see I was mostly drawing these 2 characters here.
Though, well, I still draw him, so not much changed there.
I remember that back then I really didn't like doing linearts with ink pens.
For some reason they never came out well, my hand wasn't confident enough,
so I'd always draw with a ballpoint pen.
As in, I'd sketch first then draw a lineart with a ballpoint pen.
The next sketchbook is... a little massacred.
I mean, the previous ones were as well, but this one is just funny.
In case you ask, it wasn't me who was hungry
it was my chinchillas who ate it.
Uuuh, these are the years...
I think, given how I was drawing Pokemon Alpha Sapphire and Omega Ruby covers here,
this game came out, I think, in 2013, so this is--
2013, or 2014... no, this is 2014, yeah!
2014, to me, was a bit of a (chuckles) funny
and a bit of a groundbreaking year when it comes to my art.
Funny, I mean, I'll explain why.
Before, I used to draw in a style closer to manga, but in 2014
I started to transition into semirealism
and because of that, that year is funny to me in terms of my works,
'cause, since I started such a transition,
those works looked rather... weird.
It's 'cause I was still going on manga proportions but tried to draw more realistically,
and the shenanigans that came out of it can be seen here.
I always laugh that, heh,
that my 2014 works look like aliens. :)
But, yeah.
I'm not proud of these, but they gave a foundation to the things I draw now.
So they're just as important as other works,
even though I don't like them. (snorts)
But you know, it's not about that.
Everyone started somewhere
and not everything we create has to be beautiful.
Quite the opposite, mistakes are recommended.
And it is errors that we learn from, so
we shouldn't be scared to make these mistakes,
because, truth be told, in the long run they give us a lot.
Here, there's more... like I said, I started writing my novel,
I was only starting to write it, not even officially,
I was just making plans.
Here's the emblem of the main characters' unit,
that I should actually redraw, because so far this is the only place where I drew it in detail.
Uuum, this work, right now I'm working on a redraw of it.
That-- I want to add, works from that period, all these sketchbooks,
I forgot to mention, it was all drawn during classes.
Because I was obviously an exemplary student who always paid attention. :)
But yeah.
These were drawn at school, and I remember that back then
I moved to digital art completely, so I stopped drawing traditionally.
I think in about 2013. I think so.
In 2014, I wasn't really drawing traditionally anymore, unless in these sketchbooks.
Nothing beyond them.
And I remember, I didn't have any good supplies there yet,
all of this stuff here is just some pencils,
this is surely Bambino pencils [ note: Polish colored pencils for children ], because I remember that for sure
Also, these 2 characters were created that year, Erik and Sven.
They didn't exist before then.
Here comes more pencil, mostly, ballpoint pen again,
I was still scared of lineart.
For some reason my hands got really shaky when I tried to draw with an ink pen.
I've only started getting the hang of it recently
because earlier, there was a kind of fear and horrible perfectionism--
I mean, there's still a lot of perfectionism in me,
but only now I'm starting to loosen up
and only now my art is starting to come out like I want it to.
Because trust me, stress... stress affects the stuff you do, badly.
This work was later colored digitally, I remember, I'll link in the description.
I'll admit I totally forgot about this one, when I was looking through this sketchbook recently
I had this funny feeling, because I forgot I'd ever drawn this in my life.
And I kinda like it, so I think I'll draw it again.
This work, I remember I never finished it, even though I wanted to,
but this, I think this is one of my favorite works from that year.
I remember I was really proud of it back then,
even though I see a ton of mistakes in it now.
I remember that later, in 2016, I did a redraw of it, too.
I'll link that in the description also.
And then just a simple sketch here and the end.
I was just testing the paper here, but that was pretty recent.
Now, 2015-2016, going through--
no, 2015-2016, I think... the last one went through 2015, sorry.
Aaand, this is the end of 2015 and my first ever work done with alcohol markers.
I only had 7 of them back then, I think, I got them for Christmas from my bestie, and...
(chuckles) of course I had to try them out right away.
I'll tell you in all honesty, I've dreamed about alcohol markers ever since I was 13,
at the point of starting this sketchbook, I was...
19? I think? Yeah... 19 or 18, something like that.
And I finally got a few of those markers... and was in heaven.
I was mindblown by the way they worked. Didn't expect that.
Here's the next work, it even has the date,
January 1st 2016.
Actually, I still kinda like it. It has mistakes, but.
I still tried to do something with those 7 markers here.
And, I forgot to mention, not sure if you noticed
in these sketchbooks, in the last one from 2014-2015,
that horrid perfectionism started to wake up in me.
Cause, not sure if you noticed, in the previous sketchbooks
those sketches were thrown all over the pages, it was all more loose,
but here, I was kinda only drawing one thing per page, that perfectionism came through.
And it's even more visible here.
Also one work per page, and mostly only on one side, too.
At this point I became an awful perfectionist aaand...
that's because I've never finished any sketchbooks, because I had this problem
where I wanted everything to be perfect and whenever I did something wrong
I had an urge to start all over.
Here, markers and colored pencils, also a try to play with those...
Now, now it's one of my favorite techniques, but back then it was a total novelty for me
I had no idea what I was doing. :)
More sketches, everything drawn during classes, still.
There's a fragment, an idea written for my novel, for a later part of it.
I don't know if I'll ever use it, but I come back to it sometimes and read it.
These works, I remember, ended up being edited digitally, this became an illustration.
I have nice memories associated with this one, I remember that...
while everything was drawn in classes, this one was drawn on vacation
while laying down in a hammock, seeing what else I can do with those 7 markers.
And this was drawn later, as a joke kinda, so it's basically the end of this sketchbook.
And now we're coming back to the present, so 2017.
This is still kinda fresh to me.
And here, it's important to mention
that in 2017 I started returning to traditional art, cause as I said,
I pretty much moved to digital art only.
Minus the stuff in sketchbooks, I didn't draw traditionally at all.
From 2012 to 2017 I only drew digitally, all the time.
And here are my beginnings, my return to traditional drawing.
Markers again. Actually, my return to traditional started like...
that same friend bought me more markers for my birthday.
And since then I got hooked, and right now I actually draw traditionally more than digitally.
Here's more marker sketches, I had more of them now. I could do more.
I grew to really like them.
I never finished this, but I intend to.
As you can see, what I draw now, my current style is starting to be born here,
with a lot of plants.
At that point I started to be interested in gardening,
I bought a lot of plants for my room, I have a small garden on my sill.
Before then I didn't really... feel that, but in 2017
I started developing new interests, which can be seen in these works.
Same here, there's more plants. Sadly unfinished.
More sketches, pencil and markers.
Here, a rare drawing, pencil only. I don't tend to draw stuff with pencils alone,
I don't really like that technique much. I rarely feel like it.
There was a bit of marker in the background.
Likewise here, pencil only as well.
This work was very personal to me, because I drew it after spending some time crying in the shower myself.
These 2 are works for people from Instagram. This was, I think...
a raffle prize? No. Those were birthday gifts, I think, if I recall correctly.
Also related to Instagram, a little picture to celebrate 500 followers.
And here, more personal stuff, I actually really like this one.
In case anyone noticed, this character also appeared in the old sketchbooks, but he changed a lot.
This work was... I still remember it well,
I sat outside, just drew it outta my head, without anything, without erasing,
I wanted to finally loosen up, because that perfectionism really started to eat me up at that point.
This work is, pretty much, entirely done with a black colored pencil,
because I was still scared of drawing with ink pens.
Yes, it was this work that was a raffle prize, so sorry for the mistake.
And here, just small sketches, I didn't really know what to do anymore.
I was just drawing, I was trying to draw colored pencils using a limited palette,
because like I said, I was only starting to play with traditional art again.
Only then did I buy myself some good colored pencils,
because before I've never drawn with professional supplies
excluding those 7 markers.
This is also done with a black colored pencil and is, kinda, a redraw of this.
And here, a drawing that never got to see the light and that I've never finished.
I got annoyed because my marker ran out, but it created a smoke effect
while I was torturing the thing to make the last drops of ink flow.
And that's it. I'd just like to mention that here, mmm...
I have it noted next to this work, this waaaas...
this was the time in which I bought the Polychromos pencils,
so my first awesome pencils. I mean, I had Derwent Coloursoft before,
buuut, it was a small set.
And this one, actually, isn't an old sketchbook, but I can show it anyway.
This is a sketchbook from the end of 2017 to 2018.
It's only just started, but I'll show it, because it's kinda--
...oops, there's my phone number...
This is just kinda... it's on pause right now, because I'm using a different sketchbook.
But I'll show it, why not. This is still the end of 2017.
2018 here. And I'm showing this to you because
as you can see here, I'm starting to... I started to fight that perfectionism here, cause...
it caused me to be unable to draw for a while.
And I started to understand again, that a sketchbook is for sketching and not to become
a perfect gallery of your works, because a portfolio is for that, not a sketchbook.
And this is my current sketchbook.
I'll see you in a few months after I finish it.
But for today, this is all. I hope you enjoyed watching this.
If you have any doubts or fears regarding your works,
I hope that my rambling helped someone in any way.
Maybe it'll help understand, that...
that not everything we make has to be perfect and that everyone makes mistakes.
Don't be scared to make them.
See you.
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