Hey! My name is Gray, and welcome to my channel.
So, I just got back from Disney World, so please excuse the ears.
I just don't want to take them off because I
like them and they're making me feel happy and magical. So first let me say:
This is my voice one month on T. I don't know if it's
changed. I don't hear a change, uh, but we'll compare it in later videos and we'll see.
Today's video is about, not really about... it's the second part of the Q&A, so this
is the trans related part, the LGBT related part, of the Q&A that I started
last week. So let's get started, shall we? Okay, I have a double widow's peak. Is
that like a normal thing? I don't really know.
Tiny.philip asks: When did you
know you were trans?
Okay, good question. I feel like I knew when I was little,
but I didn't really have the words to say it. I was born in 1999 and so as I
was growing up in those younger years, being trans wasn't really something that
was publicized. It wasn't widely accepted. It wasn't in the media at all, unless it
was negative, and so the people around me, and I even, didn't put that word to what
I was feeling. I'm sure I if I were growing up now, that
would be something that was said because I did things like try to
pee standing up, and tell my parents that I was going to
be a dad and not a mom, you know? That nowadays would be something that would
get me sent to a gender therapist or something.
But at the time, it wasn't something that was said.
I was labeled a tomboy and sent on my merry way. When I was about 14, I got into
the internet, and I found the label lesbian, and snatched it up because I
knew that that label would allow me to, not only branch out in my sexuality, but
also branch out in my gender expression. I knew that if I were labeled lesbian, I
would be able to dress more masculine than other girls and get away with it, so
I took that label for about six months, and after those six months, I saw a video.
I think it was Arielle Scarcella with Alex Bertie in that video. Obviously Alex
Bertie being the important part in that video. And I saw him and at the time, I
thought nothing of it. I thought: that's interesting, and again, kind of moved on
with my life. But then as time went on, I watched more and more videos of other
trans guys, and eventually got to the point where I was like: shit I'm probably
trans. And so at about 15 years old, I finally kind of came out to myself as
trans.
The underscore revolutionairre asks: who did you first come out to?
So I first
came out, both as a lesbian and as a trans guy, to my older sister first. Now,
when I came out to her as trans, at that point, I wasn't sure. I had no idea
if that's really what I was, but I wanted to tell her so she knew. The first person
I seriously came out to as trans I would say, full-knowing that I was
actually trans, was my mom.
Fandom underscore username asked: what advice
could you give young trans boys in a transphobic school / environment?
Here's the thing: I never want to give bad advice, so take everything I say with
a grain of salt. But what I would say to that is find your people. Find a group or
even just one person that supports you. Another thing I would
say is: don't focus so much on the now. Look to the future. Look to: hey I'm going to
start T eventually. Hey I'm going to get a binder eventually. Hey maybe I even
might get top surgery eventually. I'll be living on my own. I'll have loving
friends that support me. I'll have a nice job. Like don't focus so much on the now
because that's going to get you in a really bad headspace, and another thing I
would say is know where you can find help. Resources online are a great thing
if you are in a transphobic area, you know? If you're in a super red state or
you are in a town that's super small and not accepting, and you can't find anyone,
any adult, to help you, the Internet is a great resource. So like The Trevor
Project is fantastic. I will put the resources to that here. If
you're ever feeling hopeless or bad or just need to talk to somebody, that is a
great place to go. I've used it many times, and every time has been a good
experience. I've never regretted it.
Nick underscore Porter 42 asks: weirdest
response when someone learned you were trans.
Alright, this one isn't weird as in like quirky. It's weird as in like not-so-great and
not what I was used to. So when I came out, I came out to my sister, I came out
to my mom, my brother, my dad, my immediate family and friends, and they were all
great. They were fantastic. I started running into some problems with my
extended family: My aunts, uncles, grandparents. Well, not really. That's
kind of unfair to say because really everyone was good with it, except who we're
going to be talking about. I'm not going to mention names or anything like that, or
even how they're related to me, but basically what happened was I sent
out letters to my extended family. All at the same time. They all got them at the same
time, explaining that I was trans and what my name was and pronouns were, and
pretty much everyone reacted super super well. They all texted me, called me, saying
we accept you, we love you, blah blah blah. It was great. It was fantastic, and then
there were two people in my life, who I got no response from. Nothing was said.
Nothing came up, like nothing was said, and eventually my mom called them and
said: hey, did you get Gray's letter, and basically what what happened was they
said: yep we got, it and hung up. That was it, um, that was about six months ago I would
say, and still nothing has been said to me, to anyone else about it. It's kind of like
it doesn't exist. They still call me by my old name and old pronouns, so I don't
know. That was the weirdest experience I've had. Oh, the usernames guys.
I underscore want underscore death asks: how do you deal/ cope with your
dysphoria, and any tips on how to deal with it in public?
The biggest thing for me with dysphoria was I wanted to pass, and I know that's problematic and
controversial, but for me, that's what made me feel better was when I was
gendered correctly in public, so I have another video I'll link it up here on
how I found ways to pass. Other than that, dealing with dysphoria can be hard. I
would say it's not an easy thing to deal with, and it's not going to go away,
unfortunately. I would say do things that make you feel good too, not just in
terms of gender. Read a good book or take a walk or just
do stuff that you like doing because that's going to help you just increase
your overall satisfaction with life and it also might help to distract you from
those not-so-great feelings that you're having. I am not going to lie. Dysphoria
is tough, and it's probably always going to be there for you, and you know,
in terms of the actual dysphoria, do what you can to feel more masculine... Hang on. That
probably wasn't right because you might be, um, let me look at your account.
Okay. She/her, so yeah. You are obviously not asking about how to feel
more masculine. Sorry about that, um, so you would be looking for ways to feel
more feminine, I assume, and I don't know a ton about how to feel more feminine
because that's really the opposite of what I'm trying to do, but I will put a
list here of how to feel more feminine. I'll find it on the Internet. It's not
from my own personal experience, but here you go.
Last question. Are you ready? motherfunking Reggie asks: what are the
best things to do to feel more masculine? This really depends on whether you're
closeted or out and whether you have an accepting environment or not. So I'll kind
of gives general information for both. Well, let's start if you're out and have
an accepting family. If you have both of those things, your options are limitless.
You can do pretty much anything you need to do. Binder, packer,
possibly hormones. Again with all these things there are wait times that you
don't really have control over, but you can get on your way, you know. You can
start your transition, basically, if you have all those things. But based on the
question, I would assume you don't have those things, so let's say you're
closeted or you don't have accepting family. There are still things you can do to
feel more masculine. For example, if you live with other guys: a dad a brother, any
other male person, you can take advantage of that. So let's say you share shower
with another male person. They're going to have soaps, shampoos in there that are
probably more geared towards men. Use those, you know? No one's going to be
looking at you in the shower, I hope, so you can use any of those, and for me,
that's something that made me feel better.
Same thing with deodorant or Cologne. Just don't use too much because that
might draw attention from people you live with, and if you're closeted as
trans, but you're out as let's say a lesbian, you can also [burps loudly] excuse me, also get
away with certain things, which is part of the reason why I think I came out as
gay before I came out as trans. You can get away with shopping in the
men's department. "Men's Department." I would say exercise
helps a lot of people feel more masculine. I would also say start a
conversation with your doctor about this because your doctor is going
to be able to eventually start your medical transition if that's something
you want. So even if you're not out to family, or even if they're not accepting,
your doctor has an obligation to keep your conversations confidential, unless
you're going to hurt yourself or others, so you come out to them if you're
comfortable doing that. Say: hey I'm trans. What are my options?
What resources can you give me? That's going to help you a ton because, even if
you're not out the family, they can get the ball rolling behind the scenes so
that when you do come out to your family, that ball is already going to be rolling,
which is going to reduce the time you have to wait for things like hormones or
surgery or anything like that. So yeah. And one of the big themes I find in this
video is just to surround yourself with people who respect you and treat you the
way you want to be treated. So if you're trying to feel more masculine, find
people that are willing to call you by pronouns you like. Find people that are
willing to try out different names with you. Find people who are willing to call
you dude or buddy or you know any of those things. So, I hope this helped.
I hope my ears made you smile. Oh! Do you want to see the best part about these
ears? Do you want to? Okay, they have my name. I don't know if you can see that,
but my name is right here. My actual real name, like my name. When I went when
I was younger, I had my old name on it, and the biggest thing I wanted
when we went this time was just to have ears with my name on it.
So... It's the small things in life guys.
My name is Gray. Have a wonderful day.
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