The 1st step to learning how to not give a fuck about small things is having something
bigger to give a fuck about.
For instance, before, I used to really care what people at school would think of me, and
that was because nothing in my life mattered that much.
If you don't have a mission you're working towards or have a goal in mind, then you'll
naturally give too many fucks to small things like someone insulting you (I remember one
time my friend was heated as fuck for a good two days because a girl roasted him), a bad
grade on a test, or something else that doesn't mean much in our lifetime.
Obviously if your goal is to get into Harvard, yes you give a fuck about test results, and
yes, if you are a politician or have another vision where you need people to see you a
certain way, then sure thing, give fucks toward what people think of you as it's important
toward your life's purpose.
But if you're like me and you love running projects and helping people out through business
or YouTube, then the opinion of people at school to me really doesn't matter.
It's not that I act like a complete dick or just isolate myself, but I learned that
I care about my friends and if something stupid like getting called a name or something embarrassing
happens, it really doesn't affect me at all.
Instead of giving a fuck, I gave my fucks to this YouTube channel, to helping people
quit their addictions, to improve themselves, to get you to where you want to be.
And this is actually what killed my social anxiety.
Yes, at times I'll feel anxious before presenting something to the class, but then I realize,
why do I care what they think of me?
Even if I am perceived as nervous or awkward, how does it affect my overall life purpose
which is what I really care about?
Paradoxically, I've actually become more social, talking to random people and making
more friends because I don't care about seeming weird anymore.
If they think I'm awkward well too bad, and most of the time I'm not awkward because
I've done this so many times.
Think about it, almost everyone knows how to somewhat interact with another human being,
you just have to get rid of feeling so self conscious, and that's what learning how
to give a fuck about something bigger gave me.
I credit this one to Mark Manson, and I haven't been reading as much as I want to, but with
summer coming, it's that time.
The second step to learning how to not give a fuck is to realize that nobody cares.
I remember there was some random girl who fell over her chair during an AP exam and
everyone (probably about 300-400 kids that all know her) saw her fall on her ass.
That shit got me laughing for a few minutes, but after a few hours I didn't give a shit.
That was pretty embarrassing and in front of a few hundred people but I didn't even
think about her much because that was the day where I was kicked out of the exam room,
so I gave more fucks about my own experience.
And that's the thing you have to recognize.
If you act weird or fuck up somehow, realize there is always a reversal (you'll know
what I mean if you read Robert Greene's books), and that nobody really cares about
it.
People are too worried about being embarrassed themselves that when someone else is, they
might laugh for a bit, but then they forget and start to think about what they should
wear to school tomorrow.
People are always self-conscious about themselves, I workout to look good, I wear nice clothes
and shoes, and so do other people.
Even the opposite is true, if you do something cool and people see it and cheer you on, or
if you make a joke in class and everyone laughs, yeah sure it feels good for a minute or two,
and then your life moves on.
Don't be seeking validation from other people because it fades pretty quickly as they don't
care.
The main thing is to realize nobody gives a shit about other people fucking up, so don't
be afraid to fail in front of others.
Step 3 to learning how to not give a fuck is knowing that we'll all die.
This is a short point, and we're halfway through so thanks for sticking here -- but
realizing this is very powerful.
I recommend you read the 50th Law though I do have a summary (I'll have a link in the
comments/description), because it has let me realize many things.
For a good few weeks at the beginning of all this I was questioning why I did certain things
and then I had this moment where I grasped the concept of death.
I said shit, I'm not extremely religious, I believe in God that's all, and I don't
know if he'll give me a heaven, or a hell or just nothing.
Nothing is guaranteed because I can't speak with the dead so instead I thought, fuck,
if I only got this many years on average, and I could die this moment, then what the
fuck, I have to enjoy my life and do what gives me fulfillment.
After contemplating that idea for a while, I realized, if I don't have a fear of dying
and realize it can happen at any moment, why should I fear anything?
The 4th step is to catch yourself when you start to crave for validation.
I see this in myself sometimes, where I'm listening to some hype shit about starting
from nothing, making it, and stunting on everyone you used to know that doubted you.
Yeah sure it'll probably feel cool when it happens, but that's not the dream.
I don't work this hard just to stunt on people, if that was my life's purpose I
would've just worked a job and spent all of my money on flashy shit.
So when I have these thoughts, I realize, first off, I really don't give a shit about
their opinions, they probably won't give too many shits either, so just do shit I enjoy
rather than daydreaming about that.
So much like with NoFap and just being mindful in general, when I have a thought like this,
I realize it and then breathe deeply once, and let it go.
It feels liberating and I can get back to doing what I wanted to do in the moment rather
than in my head.
The 5th step is just being fine with being different.
There are some people that seem really chill and seem like they don't care, but in reality
they just do that to look cool.
People who don't give fucks will speak up when they do have a differing opinion.
My teacher one time made some dumbass jokes about Asians being nerds, and I just yelled
out "ayo that's fucked up" and she apologized.
Don't confuse the two and you'll be good.
Obviously I can't call out everyone I see because online there's millions of people
being racist to each other but when it happens in front of me I'll definitely stand up
for myself.
Just a few practical steps as bonus points to learn to not give a fuck:
1.
Find a purpose that you really care about to give your fucks to (I can make a video
on this, so let me know what videos you want).
2.
Start meditating, this shit really works, sit down and don't think, do it 1 minute
per day and keep increasing each week.
3.
Change your mindset (and you've already got this done by watching this video, it'll
probably take longer to let it soak it but you have the information).
Besides that that's all there is to it, learn to give your fucks to something important
in life, realize nobody cares, realize we'll all die, catch yourself, and be ok with being
different.
Thanks so much for sticking to the end, if you're here be sure to smash that subscribe
button if you haven't already, and if you already have, I love you no homo.
Thanks again, Kevin from KreativeVein, peace.
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